The car's on fire and there's no driver at the wheel - The Tory leadership elections

I mean fair play to the lad - he’s got books on his windowsill that I wouldn’t have in my toilet.

raab's intellect and grasp of policy: "“I hadn’t quite understood the full extent of this,” he said. “But if you look at how we trade in goods, we are particularly reliant on the Dover-Calais crossing.”

he clearly hadn't yet gotten around to reading the imposing hardback volume which explains the basics of modern british industry

and indeed ancient british marine geography

or Arnie's autobiography

Things you were shockingly old when you learned (cos of library consisting of readers digest book club staples - which you haven't read)

tfw you need to appear smart on tv but you don't own any bookshelves

having the time of my life with a bunch of bookshelves, they're all just out of frame, laughing too (at me)

Bookshelves obviously crammed with unsold copies of "Britannia Unchained".

at home with the Raabs

a good book is a magical portal to another world pic.twitter.com/IpfxVJ17af

— Alex Norris (@dorrismccomics) December 19, 2018

He’s the one with the injunctions involving two women, right?

Really? Never heard anything about that, but hardly matters with Boris "Family Man" Johnson in the race.

I am p. sure books should not be on windowsills, given how faded the books on my bookshelf in the vague proximity of a window which doesn't even get any direct sunlight are

but I guess they're only going to sit there for an hour and then the intern will be sent to take them back to the remainder bookshop they probably all came from an hour before the shoot

"the thickest books you've got in your £3 section, please. Arnie? sure, whatever, it's a hardback and has classy-looking shiny text"

look there's no reason to bring back up the allegations of 'inappropriate behaviour with a woman' which afflicted mr raab some two years ago, have never been conclusively proven and thus in no way are a cause for concerns about his character

nor indeed the ones which similarly bedeviled rory stewart, who did you know actually walked across afghanistan and speaks dari

i think dominic raab buys his books by the kilo

Pound, surely?

fuck you're right, i've exposed my soft latte-sipping underbelly

anyway, while we're on the subject of raab and books, here he is defending his sketchy understanding of the good friday agreement

He also admitted he hadn’t read the Good Friday Agreement – crucial to peace in Northern Ireland – start to finish.

“At various points in the negotiations, when issues have been raised, it has been an important opportunity to delve into the different aspects very carefully,” he told MPs.

“It’s not like a novel where you sit down and you say ‘do you know what, over the holidays, this is a cracking read’.”

harry bickling-baker schooled and owned

Posting for posterity: That transformer textbot today, fed something about Boris, threw up "Bozzers has a face like the scene of a crime."

i did enjoy that two of the tory boys interviewed for that piece were named harry

"Bozzers has a face like the scene of a crime."

o fuck it's gaining sentience

:)

harry bickling-baker schooled and owned

― mark s, Wednesday, May 29, 2019 2:30 PM (nine minutes ago) Bookmark

easy targets yes, but old enough to know better and to be mocked by middle aged message board denizens

tory boys are never old enough to know better

Bad news, these are all moderates now, since Esther McVey has declared that she would pursue No Deal as her first and only choice.

having the time of my life with a bunch of bookshelves, they're all just out of frame, laughing too (at me)

My boy has taken opium then.

Rory Stewart’s a canny good illustration of the violence wreaked upon British masculinity by TE Lawrence, Patrick Leigh Fermor and Bruce Chatwin

— Viva la Paul Crowther Brigada (@pdkmitchell) May 30, 2019

Mildly interesting thread on Rory Stewart lit

Wait...is he genuinely your choice or are you actually in the tank for some mad accelerationist fave?

Choice for leader? No, I don't care I want a general election and Corbyn at 10 (and btw I'm no accelerationist either, but I know I can give that impression).

He has added some mild unexpected amusement to what is a fucking grim situation, just riding that wave rn.

Fair play.

Malthouse or death.

Love Gove. McVey’s the way. Raab’s fab.

Hunt's Not A Cunt

let’s not sell ourselves short, we can have malthouse AND death

hey Malthouse has a middle-classerised scouse accent, it must have been as laugh-a-minute as being in Bread growing up in his house innit Jess?

This is sweet:

A very moving symbol of modern Britain in Woking mosque. Thank you so much for the hospitality #greenfairunited #rorywalks pic.twitter.com/n2H218792D

— Rory Stewart (@RoryStewartUK) May 31, 2019

Shane it will enrage the racists in his party

https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2019-06/1/4/asset/buzzfeed-prod-web-05/sub-buzz-30790-1559379473-1.jpg?downsize=1040%3A%2A&output-quality=auto&output-format=auto

curb your enthusiasm theme music is strong with this montage

what has happened to Cleverly and Javid here? I know they are both fucking running jokes ... but no more than the rest of them!

... Harper, Malthouse. Javid's one of the frontrunners, suppodely.

..osedly

Re that montage

I’d like to report a murder pic.twitter.com/XxKZ1N8lYS

— Leicester Legend Grace Petrie (@gracepetrie) June 1, 2019

god javid is such a moron

lads ye will have yere fun with thick paddy here but if ye for a second think i swallow an actual tory mp called penny mordaunt i mean rly

she’s named after a ship darragh

The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one... but still they come...

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/jun/02/sam-gyimah-joins-tory-leadership-race-offering-second-referendum

Waiting for May to throw her hat in the ring at this point

"Stewart has done well to bump an actual contender (Mordaunt) from there."

Is that why she's not standing?