The paragraph that follows also features a remarkably anticlimactic dénouement:
Matthew has striking blue eyes with pale lashes, and, thanks to the procedures, a wide jaw and jutting chin. “I’m definitely more happy with the way I look now,” he tells me, although his life is far from transformed. He lives with his parents and works at Best Buy, an arrangement he originally conceived to help save up for surgery. He’s now planning new procedures, including one to fix what he describes as a bump on the tip of his nose, although I don’t notice it.
― pomenitul, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 14:48 (four years ago) link
“I hope everything goes well and this will be a real change,” he wrote on the forum. “But where do I need to begin? I need women, lots of women, to make up for my miserable life. I need a new social circle, a new identity, a new life. I’ve been thinking of leaving my country. I want to live in hotels in tropical countries and live a playboy life there, only fucking hot blonde European girls. I have the money, I have the freedom. I need to go and leave this goddamn rotten place, need to leave everything behind, my old life.”“I think you are expecting too much from just some jaw implants,” replied another user.
“I think you are expecting too much from just some jaw implants,” replied another user.
another user otm
― michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 14:55 (four years ago) link
Nutcases.
― Ned Caligari (Tom D.), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 14:57 (four years ago) link
The second time we speak on the phone, Truth4lie tells me he has just been released from the hospital after attempting suicide. His last jaw-implant revision was still monstrously swollen, and he was so anxious about it that death seemed easier than looking at his face in the mirror.He swallowed pills, then read on Google that his final hours would be slow and painful. So he called an ambulance. When he woke up in the hospital, it felt like being reborn, joyous, akin to the dopamine rush he always felt after being operated on.“The prospect of a better surgery result is keeping me alive,” he tells me.
He swallowed pills, then read on Google that his final hours would be slow and painful. So he called an ambulance. When he woke up in the hospital, it felt like being reborn, joyous, akin to the dopamine rush he always felt after being operated on.
“The prospect of a better surgery result is keeping me alive,” he tells me.
― pomenitul, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 15:06 (four years ago) link
keanu/
i need women
lots of women
/keanu
― daenerys baker (darraghmac), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 15:07 (four years ago) link
it's the saddest story jg ballard never wrote
― michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 15:07 (four years ago) link
contrapoints obliquely addressed this whole phenomenon in her latest video
― Flood-Resistant Mirror-Drilling Machine (rushomancy), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 00:40 (four years ago) link
https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/inside-the-community-of-men-who-fuck-themselves
― j., Wednesday, 29 May 2019 14:16 (four years ago) link
Genuinely informative.
― pomenitul, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 14:25 (four years ago) link
look forward to reading that later. it'll be a treat after my day is done.
― FernandoHierro, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 14:28 (four years ago) link
treat yourself, as it were
― j., Wednesday, 29 May 2019 14:33 (four years ago) link
the lack of judgement in that is refreshing
i mean, look, i brought the judgement with me, def. but it not being there was yes refreshing.
― daenerys baker (darraghmac), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:17 (four years ago) link
yes, good job men for bravely refusing to judge other men, save that shit for women doing normal things
― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:33 (four years ago) link
What?
― pomenitul, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:35 (four years ago) link
is that a joke web site?
― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:37 (four years ago) link
I didn't check their other publications, are there articles mocking women among them?
― pomenitul, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:38 (four years ago) link
dear lord
― daenerys baker (darraghmac), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:40 (four years ago) link
def need a men-only thread for reading articles about fucking themselves
add it to the list
― daenerys baker (darraghmac), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:41 (four years ago) link
/theres-only-one-reliable-way-to-make-your-loads-bigger
― jmm, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:44 (four years ago) link
I never thought I'd see a more perfect Cosmo analog for men but there it is
― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:45 (four years ago) link
What an interesting website for the Dollar Shave Club. I just learned that the FDA only recently approved an anal sex condom. I live for tidbits like that.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:48 (four years ago) link
the FFNGGHH ptesumably also involved
― daenerys baker (darraghmac), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:49 (four years ago) link
I think I just need to stop using the Internet for a year or two
― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:50 (four years ago) link
today i learned about something called "scalp micropigmentation" (here is a GIS result https://www.google.com/search?q=scalp+micropigmentation&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiR7JvFjMHiAhVHnKwKHYnzDNwQ_AUIDigB&biw=2211&bih=1113) in which you can literally get millions of tiny dots tattooed on your bald head and apparently it is meant for people who want the look of a non-bald person who shaved their head rather than a balding person who shaved their head. you are still bald with this look, mind you - it is stubble tattoos not fake hear. you still have a bald head, but like, it's not a bald head it's a shaved head man. jesus fucking christ
― marcos, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:56 (four years ago) link
*fake hair
― marcos, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:57 (four years ago) link
men, always with the cosmetic trickery
― lumen (esby), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 15:59 (four years ago) link
This Mel website is informative.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 16:02 (four years ago) link
tbf i was fairly judgemental upthread. i can try and place myself more outside the experiences of others if it helps.
― FernandoHierro, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 16:11 (four years ago) link
"It must needs be remarked that the skull of the Chad ..."
"The one who showed up at the loft door with a box of diskettes from the Finn was a soft-voiced boy called Angelo. His face was a simple graft grown on collagen and shark-cartilage polysaccharides, smooth and hideous. It was one of the nastiest pieces of elective surgery Case had ever seen. When Angelo smiled, revealing the razor-sharp canines of some large animal, Case was actually relieved. Toothbud transplants. He'd seen that before.`You can't let the little pricks generation-gap you,' Molly said."
`You can't let the little pricks generation-gap you,' Molly said."
― Françoise, Laurel, and Hardy (K. Rrosé), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 16:14 (four years ago) link
hahaha, I thought of that too!
― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 16:18 (four years ago) link
The fact that their current banner/logo says "MEL Beta" is probably doing them more harm than good, though.
― shared unit of analysis (unperson), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 17:43 (four years ago) link
I thought it was a joke.
― pomenitul, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 17:44 (four years ago) link
Ugh, yeah I forced myself to ignore the beta in that context since the guys who sincerely try to use it to categorize their whateverness are trash anyway.
― Yerac, Wednesday, 29 May 2019 17:49 (four years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/global/2019/jul/28/looking-for-mr-t-the-politicisation-of-testosterone-and-toxic-masuclinity
― pomenitul, Sunday, 28 July 2019 10:21 (four years ago) link
I pity the fool, indeed.
― Daniel_Rf, Sunday, 28 July 2019 15:17 (four years ago) link
yesterday marks the 4th time I saw a male friend/family member drinking a White Claw who immediately got kinda defensive about it
― frogbs, Friday, 16 August 2019 14:02 (four years ago) link
thought White Claw was pretty firmly positioned as the cool dude alcopop
― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Friday, 16 August 2019 14:15 (four years ago) link
only a matter of time before bros start icing bros with White Claw.
― Evans on Hammond (evol j), Friday, 16 August 2019 14:19 (four years ago) link
Seems like a lot of dudes operate under the misapprehension that if they're spotted using a product that doesn't reek of motor oil or have an X-TREME font splayed across its packaging that they'll spontaneously turn into an actual woman.
― Amply Drizzled with Pure Luxury (Old Lunch), Friday, 16 August 2019 14:38 (four years ago) link
Man if it were that easy
― president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Friday, 16 August 2019 14:39 (four years ago) link
white claw tastes fucking disgusting though
― american bradass (BradNelson), Friday, 16 August 2019 14:39 (four years ago) link
It says 'hard seltzer' on the can, your balls are golden.
― pomenitul, Friday, 16 August 2019 14:42 (four years ago) link
true, nominal hardness in a product is a get-out-of-jail-free card
― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Friday, 16 August 2019 14:48 (four years ago) link
I never thought it was particularly marketed to men
at least not in the way MIKES HARD LEMONADE was
don't think it has much to do with the packaging (I think most of these people would be embarrassed to drink anything with a skull on it) but rather the perception that if you're drinking something alcoholic in a can it's gotta be beer
― frogbs, Friday, 16 August 2019 14:48 (four years ago) link
it's definitely marketed to men, they just seeded the Internet with memes instead of making obnoxious ads
― the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Friday, 16 August 2019 14:51 (four years ago) link
did they really though
i'd totally buy that they paid the ain't no laws when you're drinkin claws guy, singlehandedly giving millions of dudebros permission to semi ironically drink a Claw
― frogbs, Friday, 16 August 2019 14:53 (four years ago) link
wait i thought white claw was clearly marketed to women? nothing says "ladies" like unsweetened fruity selzer with booze i have even seen stupid memes about it being for "hot girls only" i have ingested exactly 1 white claw and it was ok, unremarkable
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 16 August 2019 15:00 (four years ago) link
Is it 'soft' seltzer, though? I think not!
(Grasping at straws, obv.)
― pomenitul, Friday, 16 August 2019 15:01 (four years ago) link
This is reminding me of when all the noize board kept talking about Sparks (the drink).
― Yerac, Friday, 16 August 2019 15:02 (four years ago) link
no because soft drinks = nonalcoholic, hard = alcoholic
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 16 August 2019 15:02 (four years ago) link