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nsfw but strangely literary:
She was naked and her cunt was full and her breast very big. She had wet her cunt with her hand and her whole whole body was sore and stretched like a lumpy lump on her stomach. She told me that her breast was like a big jollity-bell, all full-grown. What did I do? I could not take care of my wife's tender and tender cunt. I took out something which will suffice. I put it between my hands and I touched the whole thing and gave her nothing which I could not do without. Now she was full of pleasure. She lay on the floor, she turned round and kissed me as if I loved her. No one knows what she said, for if I had done so she would have died."

thomasintrouble, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 10:18 (four years ago) link

It's such a good feeling
To know you're alive
It's such a happy feeling
You're
not so alone
It's such a really good feeling, man
It's such a great feeling
It's such a warm feeling
It's such a cool feeling
It feels like I'm alone
It feels like all the world is melting away
It feels like I'm alone
It's such a great feeling
It's such a happy feeling
I'm gonna give up right now (it's a great feeling)
It's such a great feeling, man
It's such a great feeling
I'm gonna give up right now (I give up right now) (it's a great feeling)
In the summer of my teen years, I never thought I'd do anything that would make me cry so tears rolled down my cheeks and I could only hold the sight of my mom lying on the bed and sobbing, all I could do was cry.
It took a while for me to grow up, but I did change. I stopped watching movies as I would always end up watching porn and video games. I stopped being an arrogant fuck who thought I already belonged to this world because I played videogames online

John Denver – Led Zeppelin IV (Part II) (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 10:24 (four years ago) link

<b>No regrets Coyote
We just come from such different sets of circumstance
I'm up all night in the studios
And you're up early on your ranch
You'll be brushing out a brood mare's tail
While the sun is ascending
And I'll just be getting home with my reel to reel</b>
Coyote's gone down for a while now
I'm trying to talk to you, he'll come crawling back out
Aha I know how bad the blues is
But you'll just see me getting to my farm
And the house will be standing up to all these years
You're in town for a job interview
I'm just hoping you'll be good at business
You know what to do with the wood I cut
And I hope it works out good
I hope my wife sees you again
I would have loved to have had my wife around
But she got divorced, but I'm glad she had you
The other thing is that we don't really have a choice
We just have to make it happen, we have to make it happen
We can't just stop there
So you're going to need an assistant
And that will cost you something...

thomasintrouble, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 10:57 (four years ago) link

That's actually pretty good tbh

thomasintrouble, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 10:58 (four years ago) link

favourite one so far probably a tie between the chronicles of Moffe and the book of Mule

imago, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 11:04 (four years ago) link

Wee Willie Winkie
Runs through the town
in the film, showing off his amazing skills of the running stride, high step count and the like. He also makes use of his big foot, which he shows off a few times. I always enjoy seeing guys with such awesome legs, so I'm glad he gets some recognition for his abilities.

imago, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 11:23 (four years ago) link

Here are the Laws of cricket:

2. No captain or umpire will call a ball for which the batsman does not feel the ball has touched his stumps, provided there is no attempt to steal the catch. The ball must be touched before being called unless the batsman feels the ball is not in his stumps. 3. When a ball is under-wicket or when it has already been called to a leg-before, the umpire or captain shall look on the next ball to the left as he shall see fit, and when he shall find the ball not to be under-wicket, he shall call it; and if the ball is to be called and the batsman feels, after having called it for two balls, that the ball has reached his stumps he shall, on a subsequent ball, call it, if he shall not see at then that the ball is to be called again and will not be passed by another batsman. 4. If any umpire or captain shall throw or throw-for in the line where a ball has been called to a stumps, either in the middle or down at length of the wicket which he sees fit, he shall throw it down in an alley or similar place if one is at hand. If a game falls out from the wicket into an alley after it has been caught, the captain shall

imago, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 11:26 (four years ago) link

Here are the rules of snooker:

The Snooker Court's rules for courts:

Each player starts with 3/5th of the ball in his bag when playing the game.

When a player leaves the bag, he must retrieve his 1st player piece.

When a third player player pieces leaves his bag, he must retrieve his 3rd player piece. This is what the player must do if he was not successful during their turn.

The player with the more expensive bag is called 'the Snooker'. When a player makes a successful play, he gets an additional piece to the bag.

When a bag is empty, a player cannot buy and the bag is returned to their opponent for free.

When the Snooker Court decides to give out a tie, you must make your bag a certain size!

It doesn't matter if the Bag is big enough or small, as long as both players have equal bag sizes the Snooker is not possible.

For additional information and for those interested:

Visit our site at www.snooketickets.com.

imago, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 11:30 (four years ago) link

Ton up

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 11:32 (four years ago) link

In one of the worst industrial accidents of all time, a company in Mexico named Pinto Plastics Corporation went into bankruptcy after they failed to sell the "green" aluminum used in their product to a Chinese company, resulting in many deaths and the injury of numerous others. The company was owned by Mexican billionaire Enrique Marichal. The company was owned by Marichal's close associate, Juan Pinto , a drug dealer from Guadalajara. I can't help but wonder if this was something that his girlfriend and their two sons thought was important enough to mention to the press. (Mariana said that the company 'brought about a wave of public outrage. They wanted to know if anyone knew anything about the accident, and they weren't informed of the fact that Marichal or his son had owned this company for years!) What happened next was pretty horrific . Pinto is accused of stealing more than 1,000 aluminum cans and dumping them into rivers where they sank, then dumping the aluminum cans into open fields. (As you know, not all of the cans found were recycled; Pinto's company was found dumping thousands of cans at a time.) By the time the rescue teams arrived, the victims had turned into floating cadavers, and the remains turned into "dead bodies" by then,

imago, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 11:43 (four years ago) link

Write me an e e cummings poem

I read it from head to toe and I'm going to make it

Erect and strong, like a man

Hear all the words in my head

My hair up, my arms out, my hands clenched

I want you all to see me like this

You want me to be like your real man

I promise you it'll be worth it

(I'm coming for you, cummings)

I know just the words to put on

You see me on this couch right here with you

I'm waiting for you to make your move

Eyes on you, my dick on you, you're

(I'm coming for you, cummings)

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 11:45 (four years ago) link

(the repeated (I'm coming for you, cummings) seals the deal imo)

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 11:45 (four years ago) link

Here are the rules of baseball: Rule 1,000 rules: No one is allowed to use the word "loser" unless you mean that the team that was eliminated (with winning teams) actually beat the other team's team, or you want to be a nice person. Rule 3,111, the rule that says you should always be "fair and balanced," goes against the spirit of the game in that it implies that losing sucks. If you ever find yourself saying "loser," then just stop doing it. Rule 4,5 is more forgiving of teams that are in disarray rather than a true winner and winner's hell. Rule 5,001 says the team that wins the division or a wild card game can't win the World Series. We're not even halfway through our season yet so it's not like a real World Series game will be played this October unless the Cardinals go on a winning run. Rule 6.13 says winning in baseball is like winning in any other sport: It's good enough for the moment; it's a part of an individual's personality. It takes more than one thing to win a World Series game. It's just baseball. But the fact that someone can't lose is actually quite ironic and kind of silly in light of how much baseball is actually about getting to the World Series. The World Series itself is much better than most other sports

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 11:49 (four years ago) link

all otm tbh

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 11:50 (four years ago) link

One of the worst disasters in human history unfolded when an airship carrying some of the world's biggest miners crashed into the sea off Peru's Pacific coast.

imago, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 11:52 (four years ago) link

tbf if they're real, and I feel they might be too good to be real, mick signals' suspenseful thrillers are also the best

imago, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 11:55 (four years ago) link

'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a
fly could be seen
A dark cloud hung overhead
And in the middle of the night
There wasn't any light at all
There was only the darkness
And it was night
And all through the house
Not a light or bird was stirring
Not a spirit was stirring
The night came and it was cold
There was only the darkness And all through the house
Not a spirit was stirring There was only the darkness And all through the house
There was only one light
A night for the cold
A lightless night for Christmas

John Denver – Led Zeppelin IV (Part II) (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 12:03 (four years ago) link

Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God
I dunno but today seems kinda odd
No barking from the dog, no smog
And
heathers don't sing
And my feet and hips are still cold
And the dog bark was kinda funny
Oh, she's like a ghost that smells like  beer
She smells like beer
She sings  Beer
She'll sing Beer again and again...oh my god
That would be pretty awesome.
Yeah, I want that.
I want all kinds of beer.
I want beer.
I want all kinds of beer.
All kinds of beer.
It'll be really nice to play with some beers
(That's how I felt inside)
That would be so so nice.
Heh. Heh. Heh. heh (Heh)
Oh, look what I'm making.
I bet they're making you a good choice.
Oh, a little bit extra.
That's good, that's good.
Just make sure if there is anyone that needs to hear about that, just tell them.
That would be so good.
It's all about having  something interesting 
That's the  only thing you have to go back to.
(That's how I heard)
I like  a good adventure.

The Pingularity (ledge), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 12:06 (four years ago) link

This is the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears: Goldilocks, the first dog, is a shy, curious dog. He loves to play with other dogs, run and jump. However his favorite thing to do is to play hide and seek. However, he is no match for the three bears. The bears attack Goldilocks everytime you enter the house, all the time, and they all attack him from the shadows. It's a sadistic story, but it is very funny, and it is quite a story if you get over that feeling that the characters will end up in jail because of this. It's also an amazing story in its own right, because it is only when you see the movie that this story really comes out. It's more of a "What if?" story. The Three Bears, in contrast, are beautiful animals. They can be friendly, funny, outgoing. They love to jump, run, jump and swim. So I hope you will enjoy this film, and keep coming back to it.

John Denver – Led Zeppelin IV (Part II) (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 12:07 (four years ago) link

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by ichor by a voodoo witch in the attic. But I'll be damned if they couldn't get it right."

"Oh dear, this is getting uncomfortable, Mrs. White," I mewled, and he paused. "I guess I'll have to do this sometime before it gets too intense." I looked out the window. A strange cloud of steam crept up into the house where they kept the car. I sat back in my chair and picked up the phone. This sounded like a real emergency. I had the number of the agent who sent me my report of the previous night, and I dialed the number: "Hello? Hello? I didn't mean to disturb your peace and tranquility during your sleep." "I see you had that, Mr. White. No need, but could I speak to one of your servants for a minute?" I heard a few seconds where nothing happened. The man who answered the phone said, with one voice, that he hadn't noticed anything unusual; that he knew I had the number the night before, and that he was expecting a report of your condition. I answered and he immediately hung up as if on cue – because I was an idiot!

I did get a few minutes' time to myself. I went to the window and watched some odd things move by.

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 12:24 (four years ago) link

Could Messi do it on a cold and rainy Tuesday night in Stoke?

I've thought and felt for ages about it. Every once in a great while I have gone for him on a cold and snowy night in Stoke City on a nice day without being aware that I was going to do this. I'd do it. But I would only do it on a cold and rainy Tuesday morning on a beautiful day (the Tuesday before game day). I'd try to go for a long ball before the game even started, but of course, I would leave it in the net. But there are very few things like Messi's trickery, and it makes me sad because this isn't something I think about. I don't think it'll happen.

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 12:32 (four years ago) link

I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You'll never need to
fear us
And your death is not my choice
I'll keep doing my best for you
I'm going to let loose on you
And we can do this on our own time
So put down that phone right now
Put down the hat you're wearing
We've been waiting to be together forever
Yeah, we made this happen
I didn't know you could still be alive
And you look like you are so in love
And it's crazy to see you crying on those stairs
So give me another kiss
Give me a kiss on the cheek
I'm gonna cry right now (Don't miss this!)
Give me a kiss on the cheek
I'm gonna cry right now (Don't miss this!)
Baby, we did it, did it (Don't miss this!)
Baby, we did it, did it (Don't miss this!)
Baby, we did it, did it (Don't miss this!) Baby, we did it, did it (Don't miss this!)
Baby, we did it, did it (Don't miss this!) Baby, we did it, did it (Whatcha playing with this?)
Don't miss these tears (Don't miss this!)

John Denver – Led Zeppelin IV (Part II) (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 12:59 (four years ago) link

Let me tell you that I have made a bad mistake this evening.

My girlfriend (who let me tell you is only my 2nd girlfriend of all time) said I am "invited to dinner" with her and her parents. I was very aghast, nervous, and bashful to be invited to such a situation. But I knew it must be done.

I sat down at the table and the table turned to be in front of us.

"Ohhh!"

She's got a group, and it seemed like it was the perfect spot for our evening. The kids were on the dance floor and, apparently, the kitchenette where all kinds of awesome things were made, including a huge box of cookies and a gigantic bag of chocolate chip cookies…that's right!

"Honey, just tell me how much you love cookies!!"

She's telling me about her favorite type of cookie and I could not but nod. I had never, ever heard about cookies before she even spoke. The kids had been here before and I had grown used to them by now.

They weren't quite sure which type of cookies to call their favorite but that didn't matter. They all know what kind of cookies they wanted to order!

The kids also mentioned there might have been a special dessert in store for me. I did not know

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 13:07 (four years ago) link

Oh, my love, my darling
I've hungered for your touch
A long, lonely time
Time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much

Are you still mine? Are you my heart?"
That night on the floor, the night when I finally broke down and cried at the sight of her
You didn't deserve what I could do to you
I felt so empty inside me
I felt so sad that I was hurting myself
You didn't deserve my love anymore
I told my parents she loved me and they took care of her for months
I'd go to a store and pick up anything to take home, but nothing
I went to the bank and had everything written down
I'd wait in line for days, but I could barely get in
I finally broke up with her for no reason
After that night, I've always struggled to get it to stop
I couldn't even keep my eyes on you The only thing on my mind is I'm sorry you can't see me
That one night after that last night the day before, we broke up
I looked at her, and I realized what I should have done, and I couldn't seem to decide why
She's mine, I can take her away, but I can't take my love out with me
I can't bring her back to this world, not

o_O

Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 13:08 (four years ago) link

The setlist included:

1. I Wanna Be Your Dog
2. I'm Going To Love You
3. I'm Just A Bad Little Dog Lover
Sober When You Close Your Eyes [Coldplay]
My Sister Has Two Fingers On Her Side
Mississippi Half-Step Uptown Toodeloo
I Don't Even Get That
Don't Want It
It Don't Matter, Cause I Don't Feel Love
The Girl With Every Need
If I Die, Will She Leave Me?
The Night They Called a Baby Baby

mick signals, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 15:35 (four years ago) link

tbf if they're real, and I feel they might be too good to be real, mick signals' suspenseful thrillers are also the best

― imago

Accused of impersonating an AI! Does that mean I fail my Turing test? No, I just generate a lot and only post the greatest. We could start a "Talk Like Transformer" thread but that might be boring.

mick signals, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 15:52 (four years ago) link

Track list from the Marilyn Manson album Portrait of an American Family:
1.
What I Like About You (Grateful Dead, 5/6)
2. I Don't Like Mondays (Bob Dylan, 5/9)
3. I Heard It Through The Grapevine (Stevie Wonder, 5/16)
4. In My Lifetime (Bill Haley, 5/20)
5. I Love You, Man (Neil Young, 5/27)
6. The Man Went To Hollywood (Led Zeppelin, 6/2)
7. How Sweet It Is (Elvis Presley, 6/9) (2:36 min)
8. I Don't Give a Fuck (Johnny Cash, 6/17)
9. Good Looking Loser (Neil Young, 6/24)
10. Love is a Muscle (Bill Haley, 6/30)
11. This Town (Nirvana, 7/6)
12. Come Down and Talk To Me (George Harrison, 7/13) (1:21 min)
14. I'd Like A Lot Of Dicks (Grateful Dead, 7/20)

John Denver – Led Zeppelin IV (Part II) (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 16:11 (four years ago) link

I'm copying mick signals now, sorry. But what a movie!

In this romantic comedy, the three main characters, a man (Tiffany Thompson), a woman (Joan Allen), and a dog (Billy Tinkler ) are given a choice: go back the way they came or go as far out as humanly possible, far enough that you risk death. Based on the novel of the same name by Tom Wolfe (The Name of the Wind, The War of the Roses), the movie was a major box-office success, but after it was released, its ratings began to dip. A number of studios, including Sony Music , tried to buy the rights but it all fell into the hands of MGM, with the movie eventually falling victim to the company's control and ownership of the rights. MGM decided to release the film in theaters, with an early draft of the screenplay written by William Goldman.

emil.y, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 16:14 (four years ago) link

Love this one.

In this romantic comedy, an aging couple tries to find the perfect marriage, including choosing among three wives. The film is considered modern day Dostoyevsky and Tolstoy.

emil.y, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 16:15 (four years ago) link

Okay, one more.

In this romantic comedy, a married Chinese couple go on an expensive date to celebrate the success of their own marriage. The actress played the wife with her eyes closed, the love interest with the eyes closed and the husband with his eyes open. In "Cantonese," the man was playing the love interest, while in "Korean," the actress played the husband who is still asleep. In "Ciao," the actors sang in unison all over a bed, then the husband got up and walked away without saying anything, only standing with his hands folded in front of him and watching from the opposite direction.

emil.y, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 16:20 (four years ago) link

The rabbit killer left his home for the clough
And said goodbye to his infertile spouse
Carried air rifle and firm stock of wood
Carried night sight telescope light

Took an electric pen out his pocket to do some cleaning
And wrote out his vows
And wrote an old love poem inside of the pen ink

Covered his nest with a wild meat
Sunk deep as a rock a small white speck of light
Hovered over his tomb in a black haze
And told his tale of a man so broken down he's never had the chance to smile again

And when they got back home he'd gone insane from his grief
And when the doctor discovered them the man was dead
With the remains of their wedding dress in the oven in his garage

That is the very meaning of a rabbit kill,
Or do you think the fox and the cat didn't kill them too
The rascal shot from his house in one swoop
A rabbit shot twice, then twice more
And his wife is now a dead witch

This true story was the inspiration for a classic song titled "You'll Never Win" by The Kinks, by the Rolling Stones.

mick signals, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 16:23 (four years ago) link

Kind of plausible:

In this horror film, when a man was shot in the head and killed in a parking lot at a local mall, he is resurrected as a zombie to play the part of the owner of the mall. But when his new owner tries to sell him back to the city, he's faced by resistance from his own family members.

emil.y, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 16:27 (four years ago) link

Poking Transformer is the lazy person's creative act. (< Some ilxor will now use this as the basis of another Transformer performance piece.)

A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 16:27 (four years ago) link

Mother died today. He is also buried in the city of Yeni, which is a town outside of Belgrade, Serbia. That day, a woman in a car died shortly after she made the fateful decision to travel to Belgrade via Sarajevo, the Serbian capital.

The accident occurred while the car was stopped at a red light, with no driver present; however, the driver got out and turned around to see someone sitting in his vehicle who was walking towards his car. The woman then got out and drove across the median where they did a U-turn and drove away. Her injuries caused her to fall to the ground but were not life-threatening. It is believed that she may have been driving under the influence, but the police have not ruled that out.

Serbian police are currently investigating the accident. In a statement, police said they will "do everything possible and ensure justice while taking the appropriate measures to preserve the sanctity of life." The driver has reportedly been given a suspended prison sentence of just over two years.

"If a driver is not given a warning warning, then you will lose your license to drive and you will end up dead," Karo Vidjic told the Washington Post, while also admitting she was shocked by the tragedy. "I'm sure this is not the first time this driver has done this, but it

Matt DC, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 16:28 (four years ago) link

Call me Ishmael. I will be pleased to meet you. The place where these books are kept is called the Tower of Babel," I called out. At that moment, the door swung open, and the tall face, wearing the familiar green uniform of an employee of a government agency, burst into the room. "This fellow is Ishmael L'Ouverture, here to assist." I nodded at him. "I understand he is a member of the government intelligence. However, he has no authority to sign this letter, so I will have him leave." He walked up the stairs to where I stood, and as soon as he reached me, he turned around and walked out. I thought he was going to leave, but in a hurry, I said "What are you doing here?" and he answered me with a puzzled look. "I see that there is more to that situation than I realized, My lord! Can you explain who it is?" "Yes, Sir." I continued, "This is a man called 'Sebastian,' and a fellow who I suspect of being the culprit behind this whole mess." "Why do you say the villain? Why are you calling him a villain, Ishmael? Are you the man I was investigating just before yesterday's incident?" "No, Sir! It is something else." "What's that?" "Do you

Matt DC, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 16:29 (four years ago) link

Incomplete list of failed monarchs:

Sultan Hassan Ibn 'Abbas (1044H - 1406 H) - King of Iran, defeated by Mongols in 1406 - Killed in battle in 1406 - Noted to have been "married at the age of 12"

Sultan Mehmed II (1404H - 1542H) - Noted to have been married at 13

King Farouk III (1538H - 1606H) - King of Saudi Arabia, defeated by Arab troops in 1406 - Killed in battle in 1406 - Noted as having been "married at the age of 12"

King Fahd (1602H - 1719H) - Noted to have been "maried" at a "young age" at age 16

King 'Abdullah II (1719H - 1726H) - Noted to have been (born) at age 10 when he married his niece

Abd Al-'Aziz II (1728H - 1744H) - "Noted to have inherited "a very high ranking position as emir" when he married his sister's half-sister, 'Ibra'ha; died at age 26, age of 28

King Muhammad II (1742H - 1749H) - "Married twice, both young

imago, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 16:31 (four years ago) link

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. Now in regard to him who has the skill of raising a wife, there is no difference of opinion as to which is the worst thing; while in regard to him who has not such skill, no difference is discernible. Thus it is a thing commonly agreed, that where there is a good fortune, a wife is required and is a prize reserved for the master of men; where there is no such fortune, a wife is not requisite. Where there exists a fortune of some kind, a wife shall be reserved only for those who possess a certain skill. In regard to the other two kinds of fortune, though a wife may be required of any number (even as among men), all alike are the losers, and the better to the master. This is so even as with regard to the women: where there is something to make them beautiful, a wife is also necessary; whereas the women who are deficient in this respect only are regarded as inferior. Where, however, women are not esteemed good at all, yet a man does not think it necessary to make a wife at all; but, if he does make her, he will give her his free, as though he had a certain right to her. Where, by any one, is a man to have a mistress?

Matt DC, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 16:32 (four years ago) link

In shocking scenes, ute driver Thomas O'Keefe, 31, pleaded guilty to stealing a dead pig's head from a farm in County Donegal to sell on the black market – before he was caught.

O'Keefe, of Ballymun, County Donegal, admitted to driving with his car upside down as he approached the farm to sell the head on the black market shortly before 8.30am yesterday, September 15.

The head was stolen from the farm, at O'Loughry, in Baledagh, Co Meath County, before being sold in a pub in Meath City to a friend of Mr O'Keefe.

The dead pig was then left across the road where it died.

O'Keefe admitted using forged identification documents and a credit card in order to defraud the company holding the pig's head.

Judge Martin Fitzgerald said that while he did not like selling black market items, he could understand the feeling of being unable to put the offending back out on the market.

But O'Keefe claimed that he would have sold the pig if it had not been stolen from him and his brother.

Mr O'Keefe's brother Sean, 28, pleaded guilty to stealing from the pig's family.

Speaking after the sentencing, O'Keefe said: "I feel sick that I am sitting here

imago, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 16:53 (four years ago) link

My favorites are definitely the ones that hold a cruel mirror to the fundamental inanity of all human expression.

mick signals, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 16:55 (four years ago) link

The name of the new James Bond movie is “'Zero Days “ and it will have a large production run of around 100 days, or roughly 3.4 years. The plot of the movie revolves around 007 infiltrating a global crime syndicate and stealing a precious secret object from a vault. This device will change the course of history. Bond is trying to escape from Russia and he travels all over the world in an attempt to find it. Bond falls in love with one and then is separated from his love. Bond finds his way to London in a special stealth plane that is specially built to be stealthy. And once at London's Royal Arsenal, 007 finds himself in an area controlled by a mysterious organization called Hydra who has captured all the secret weapons and weapons equipment to destroy the world. Bond and an American couple (Paul Giamatti and Sean Young) are hired by Captain Jack Harkness (Michael Pena), Director of Hydra (David Yates) and Major (Tom Hardy). The mission is simple, save the world from Hydra. All of Bond's problems come to a head with one particular guy, James Stewart (Gary Oldman), a spy for Hydra who has stolen a secret project.

'Zero' is the latest instalment of the James Bond series from Ian Fleming's spy agency, 007 Enterprises.

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 17:04 (four years ago) link

2017: The goat was inaugurated on December 3. No reported attempts to burn the goat were made.[54]

2018: The goat was inaugurated on December 2.[56] An attempted burning of the Natural Science Club's goat occurred on the night of 15 December, resulting in minor damage to its left front leg.[57] The Gävlebocken twitter account recorded two incidents: an unspecified 'harassment' on 7 December[58] and an intrusion into the goat's enclosure on 31 December, from someone claiming to need to use the toilet.[59]

2019: The goat was inaugurated in October. Despite this, there was "some kind of conflict, with the club members getting upset, screaming and yelling", and that "about a hundred people participated in the opening of the garden".[60] On 3 November a group of about 100 people broke a window to enter the goat pen, threw stones and lit an effigy of the goat. In response, a number people shouted abuse; many shouted: "You'll burn us", "you're pigs! Don't you see? You're animals!". Others shouted: "We got a goat".[61]

jmm, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 17:09 (four years ago) link

The name of the new James Bond movie is “The World Is Not Enough.“ The video begins with Bond and Skyler kissing, and Bond exclaims, "And I'm your boyfriend, for crying out loud!"

The entire video is an hour long, because Bond is the only one who gets to kiss Skyler.

You can tell that James Bond is super into his relationship with Skyler, because when a little girl watches the whole thing, she says, "This looks very romantic!" It was also announced that Skyler would actually see the Bond movie when it comes out later this year.

Bond may not be perfect, but he can make an average lady smile with love and humor. Let us know your thoughts below about this amazing story!

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 17:10 (four years ago) link

In this super-hero movie, the guy can shoot his gun, so he can shoot his way into a fight. I always ask why these guys are so good at shooting. They don't know that they look like idiots. It seems that I'm not the only one who feels that way. They are all over Tumblr, and in the comments section people are complaining that these people should be banned. You know a good movie is bad if it looks like something stupid.
Posted by Lana K. at 11:47 AM

closed beta (NotEnough), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 17:17 (four years ago) link

In this '80s screwball comedy, ersatz comic-book detective Harvey Dent leads a team of misfits who investigate crimes involving "magical" objects: stuffed dogs, dolls, musical instruments, and all kinds of other junk. A big deal? You bet. But it takes guts, character development, and some shrewd plotting to pull it off in the manner of David Lynch, the man behind cult hit Twin Peaks and countless other Lynch-like works.

That's right: The film's story does not only take place in a world with dinosaurs and giant frogs and ghosts and wizards, we were treated to a visit from the very first film in the series -- Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me.

In addition to the characters, urchin Sam Houston and he dogboy Tex, who have been outed by their mutual friend and fellow gang banger Dent, the film also includes a hilarious side-story about a girl who comes from another world, played by Scarlett Johansson. Her parents didn't know they had any daughter until she was about three.

And speaking of gender! This movie is about women and sex! Oh, and yes, they have the coolest, most sexy boobs in the world. You can see one right at the beginning, though, as we see what looks like a girl's boob. So cool.

mick signals, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 17:18 (four years ago) link

Sometimes food is not about perfection. That is the case at the hottest new restaurant in New York, where the food is about ersatz perfection.

There will be times when you're not prepared: your face gets greasy; the kitchen isn't a good deal.

But in general, they've gone out of their way to create a place where if you don't want to eat, you'll be expected to try the food anyway. But even though The Good Life's prices are ridiculously good, you're still going to feel bad for wanting to avoid having your food. We just never want that food. It's either worth it, or you don't, or a restaurant in San Francisco would be like a family in Japan. You buy what you want. It's never bad to eat.

"Our philosophy is to get customers' money, and at that price point, it doesn't matter if you like food. What makes you think you have to pay for food for us?" says chef Robert A. Williams, whose family made the New York-inspired, Americano-and-veggie meal menu.

When you're sitting in a tiny bar, in an outdoor restaurant, with nothing better to do, and don't have an excuse to go somewhere else to buy something better?

That's what they try to get back at you on The Good Life

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 17:28 (four years ago) link

Conversation this morning w/ my 2 year old daughter...

E5: What this?
E3: Notes From Underground by Dostoevsky.
E5: What Dusty-dusty about?
E3: A man who's sad because he can't make any friends.
E5: Him sad in his room?
E3: Yeah, pretty much.
E5: Where him friends?
E3: They went away because he was mean to them.
E5: Him get mad?
E3: Yes, sometimes he gets mad.
E5: (thinks for a moment) Read to me?
E3:
???? But you know, I've heard him say some pretty terrible things to other people....and it's probably because he's a shitty writer.
E5: (picks up the book and starts slowly reading the manuscript) ...but it's also what makes you sad!
E3: That's absolutely true!
E5: And do you feel that way?
E3: Yeah.
E5: Why do you feel that way?"
E3: Cause I don't like any of the books.
E5: What do you mean, what books are bad?
E3: Yes! Like the books about that book that people keep asking me about

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 17:32 (four years ago) link

ESTRAGON: Nothing to be done.
VLADIMIR: I'm beginning to come around to that opinion. All my life I've tried to put it from me, saying, Vladimir, be reasonable, you haven't yet tried everything. And I resumed the struggle. So there you are again.
ESTRAGON:
No. I've done everything I say.
VLADIMIR: Just like my father. You know what I'm saying? That's precisely what I want – no. I want to have a conversation with my father again. And I want to make sure that he's in his room with his wife.
ESTRAGON: How can I do that? I've not seen her since last fall.
VLADIMIR: She might go out with some man today at the zoo. So I'm going to spend some time with her. Don't forget, my son, the mother of my daughter, never speaks without her own permission. And I know that this is impossible for you. But I don't know how to go home yet. For you, this is my last day in prison but with the mother of the child of the one whom I murdered. What can I do for you right now?
ESTRAGON: Please don't bring up the baby's name.

John Denver – Led Zeppelin IV (Part II) (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 17:41 (four years ago) link

In this Booker prize-winning novel, a man named Edward Everett Wiggin awakes one day to find that his father-in-law is dead and he has the power to move on with his life. After discovering that this power is the result of an experiment performed by a doctor named Lenny Hirschbeck, Wiggin goes on a search to learn more about his father-in-law. But Edward, as he begins walking through the city streets, begins to sense the presence of a ghostly figure. As this mysterious figure, who calls himself the King of the City, is passing by him, Edward finds himself falling in love with this apparition, who turns out to be named Mr. Mott. But is the King really Edward? Or is it something more sinister, in the form of a twisted demon? Written by Anonymous

emil.y, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 17:42 (four years ago) link

Yikes, but also awesome.

The best song lyrics in the world are:

I made love to the man

But his blood and semen left my body

They say I don't know why, I just like to make him fall down

I am so sorry but I have to make him laugh and then I will leave it alone

I am so sorry that I made love to you, I only wish my body had grown stronger

I love my body and my love and my heart but also I don't really care

Because I have made love to my own body

I didn't think it was so good to make love to myself, I was like a robot with no brain cells I didn't understand it from the start but I had to leave my body alone, I couldn't really love myself and I couldn't love anyone outside of myself. I just wanted to love myself and I wanted to see my body grow, to grow up with more power and to be stronger than anybody else, to learn everything and I would learn everything.

Then one day

I made love to the person's blood, sweat and tears, then they died

I made love to their soul, then they left my body and I didn't understand why

I thought only the man died.

Now I can see and taste my own flesh

Because I love my body

emil.y, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 18:10 (four years ago) link

Police thwarted by goat stuck on roof who ‘only respects one man’

The goat stuck on the roof of an apartment building has been removed but a number of police officers have been injured.

The incident happened on Saturday at 7.22am when a police van was stopped at about 7.35am by four young men wearing goat suits.

During questioning, the officers had learned the four men were looking for a goat.

During this stop, one officer's arm was broken by the goats, and one policeman's neck was injured.

Police believe it wasn't an isolated incident and have asked people to contact them if they witnessed similar incidents.

The police are yet to confirm if it is related to the incident that resulted in the goat being stuck on the roof of apartment block on September 23.

jmm, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 18:32 (four years ago) link


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