Talk to Transformer

it's fucking amazing at both poetry, and strongo's nuevo cuisine, which amounts to the same thing really

The top 5 greatest Game of Thrones scenes of all time:
1. The Battle of the Bastards. "They're a threat, but when you hit them with a massive rock, it's like a bomb's thrown in their face."
2. Tyrion's final moment during his imprisonment: "I want to see my dead wife and child. I love you now, my love. I don't remember your face when I passed through that door, but I will remember your heart..."
3. "You might have a chance to save Meera, but I can tell he's not your boy anymore," Arya says. She continues, "He killed the Stark heir to the Iron Throne. And you killed him."
4. Tyrion gives Sansa a kiss on the cheek. "What's going on?" she asks.
5. Bronn (Robert) gives Oberyn the Iron Fork "the wrong way."
All five Game of Thrones scenes are available for free (check out the latest season premiere here) here on YouTube.

The five greatest novels of all time are:
1. The Hunger Games (Ayn Rand)
2. The Color Purple (Margaret Atwood)
3. Moby-Dick (Thomas Jefferson)
4. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
5. Paradise Lost (H.G. Wells)

The five greatest books of all time are:
1. The Tale of Genji (Charles Dickens)
2. To Kill a Mockingbird (Woodrow Wilson)
3. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (Chauncy Mullen)
4. Ulysses (Edgar Allan Poe)
5. Lord of the Flies (Toni Morrison)

The ten greatest albums of the 1960s are:
1. Let My Love Die by Led Zeppelin
2. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia by Family Stone
3. The Sound of Silence by The Rolling Stones
4. All That Jazz by Depeche Mode
5. The Dark Side of the Moon by The Eagles
6. White Christmas by The Eagles
7. My Funny Valentine by The Rolling Stones
8. Let 'Em Rock by The Beach Boys
9. I Won't Back Down by The Beatles
10. Don't Say I Told You So by The Byrds

The ten best '80s pop songs are:
1. "The Wonder Years"
2. "The Way I Are"
3. "What You Mean"
4. "Love You To Death"
5. "Candyman"
6. "M.U.S.P."
7. "Don't Call"
8. "I Am a God"
9. "P.D.S."
10. "The Lamentations of Billy and Mandy"

The ten greatest Christmas songs are:
1. "Waltz of Fire"

Who would give a shit if Santa had any of these songs? Well, because we did…

You know the song:

"Waltz of Fire" lyrics:

In a house burning down,
A flame on the floor,
A thousand dead and forgotten,
They sing in our heads,
We sing in an empty house with an empty father.
It's a song of despair and heartbreak—
I know its true sound.
A song like that tells me that there is always a life to leave us,
And I want it back the night I die.

2. "Siegfried and Roy Mankiewicz"

Top 5 greatest Star Wars characters
1. ____ (George Lucas)
He was the star of the franchise, the godfather of all Star Wars fanboys, and is, probably, the most influential character to ever appear in the franchise. An all-time great Jedi. An absolute badass. He would have taken over the galaxy if there wasn't for the death of C-3PO. Also, he's pretty fucking sexy as well because he's a guy! He literally just won't give up and does things like this to protect the little thing he has as his bodyguard.
2. Jabba the Hutt (Ada Wong)
A pretty good villain but I find the fact that he's only in movies 4 and 5, and that he's the only character in the entire series that we can actually remember anything about is more than a little annoying.
3. Darth Vader (Mark Hamill)?
Now I don't know what role he's going to play in future movies but he certainly looks awesome from the back in movies 1 through 10.
4. Lando Calrissian (Brent Spiner)
This guy in the original trilogy is the strongest part of the whole story and in fact

The following conversation took place on 5 April 1991, at the Sushi Bar Restaurant on Toronto's Queen Street. William Gibson and Bruce Sterling were in town as part of the Toronto Book Fair, but while being questioned by security they heard a man, later identified as David Cronenberg, talking about the death of the late Edward Said. The two men became friends and agreed to work together in an attempt to kill Said.
Gibson and Sterling discussed how a person who knew Said as a friend would "not know him from a thousand years of time".
After the men returned, David said, "When I looked him in the eye I could almost see myself standing there. … The moment of fear had passed". This conversation was recorded on 1 April 1991.
"I could see what the man looked like. It had nothing to do with me... he would have been a different man if what he said to me had not changed. (He) would not be who he was today. When Edward Said's death happened, he went from being a brilliant writer – he became one of the most respected literary figures we would be able to say we didn't know. I think a person who knows Edward Said wouldn't have believed in me

The seventh son of a well-to-do family, a quiet boy, he was born and raised at the St. Andrew's school in Bournemouth, but moved to England in 1952. He did well, but it was his father's determination and persistence that eventually led to him winning more senior cricket in England. In 1958 he played seven Tests for England, and his next international was against Australia in Durban. When the All Blacks lost by 23 runs to the All Blacks' own All Black and All Black Indian teams, the team made its triumphant return to Australia for the 1962 World Cup. In 1961 and 1962, the British media had already taken notice of his exploits and when Australia beat the All Blacks in Perth, he made some comments about his team's match fitness, saying that Australians "don't go bowling", that the "old ones in that team don't do much". He was promptly arrested on charges of assaulting police, but only after being acquitted. Although Australian authorities charged him with a minor offence (assaulting police) in 1962, this was later dropped in the courts as a court would have seen that the evidence did not support the charge.

The ten greatest Christmas songs are:
1. Hanukkah (Rabbi Yitzchak Meir of Lubavitch)
2. Christmas Carol (Rabbi Rokkor in Lubavitch)
3. The Winter's Tale (Talmid HaLevushot)
4. Christmas Carol (Rabbi Yehudah of Lubavitch)
5. Jingle Bells (Rabbi Gershon Schindler of Lubavitch)
6. Sing Your Song (Rabbi Yosef of Tel Aviv)
7. We're Only In It for the Lights (Rabbi Maimon of Rosh HaZed)
8. Waltz in the Rain (Rabbi Rochiel of Rosh HaShana)
9. Christmas Tree (Rabbi Yosef of Tel Aviv)
10. A Christmas Carol (Rabbi Yitzchak Meir of Lubavitch)

The Doctor is on his way back to London when his companion, Mrs Smith, and her children suddenly disappear. She is attacked by a gang of vicious dogs which devour many of his companions, including Martha, until he has to fight off the remaining dog for the rest of his life. As he watches Mrs Smith's children disappear, he has a vision of John Harrison, the last man on Earth, returning from the dead and the Doctor is able to help him. They return to the Earth and confront the gang of dog-killers. Together the Doctor and his Doctor Who companions battle them once again. They destroy each dog monster together, preventing one of them from growing too strong, but before they've all destroyed the first dog monster, Doctor Who discovers that Martha has turned into a cat instead, much to the astonishment of his friends. Together they travel to the planet St Mungo's to try and free Martha but are caught in time-dispersible travel bubbles by Professor Loewen, and are thrown back into the dimension's past before they can leave. They are later joined up with the companions on a trip through time when they witness Mary, played by actress Louise Blalock, being bitten by a monkey.

7. We're Only In It for the Lights (Rabbi Maimon of Rosh HaZed)

not bad

The biggest misconception people have about serial killers is that

they're not interested in sex

but the truth is they're obsessed with

being alone with another human being.

They want to be loved as many times as possible.

They won't stop and I believe it when I hear how they

explore our lives, our families, our relationships with others.

They're serial killers because they're desperate for love…

not for money.

As I said earlier…

the reason you find the serial killer so hard to be

acceptedly accepted into society is because

they're all out there waiting for you to accept

them.

This is why I said in my TED talk last year…

this is why the serial killer, who isn't in your

life, is so misunderstood because society doesn't

put much of a label or label on a killer…

They're seen as normal.

They're not like everyone.

And this is why society still hasn't

put a label on this type of person.

Here's a couple things people should think

about when they hear the word serial

In the final episode of Spongebob, Patrick is surprised that SpongeBob says, "All he's got is two balls" when he says he has only two. He was upset by SpongeBob's comment, and was not happy over having to spend the night alone. At the end of the episode, it was revealed that, at some point, Mr. Krabs did not like Patrick's attitude and thought he wasn't worth spending time with. However, when SpongeBob returned at the end of Season 7, he admitted he regretted his remarks about him, especially since he did not have any balls left to hold a conversation with other people.

Patrick sometimes does things that will turn people off from him, such as when he tried to flirt with SpongeBob as part of his plan to make him fall in love with other women, but Squidward wasn't interested because he believed his love stories to be nothing but a show that SpongeBob was trying to get them into. Mr. Krabs seemed to dislike him as well when he told SpongeBob about what Patrick had done with Mr. Krabs, but SpongeBob quickly denied it, saying "It was okay when you first put him in that pile by the sea", showing that they were

In the final episode of Spongebob, Squidward is able to speak for the first time. Squidward explains, "I had long wanted to make you guys feel like you were close again." Then, we hear the sound that is the sound the other fish make when he is close. The Squidward voice sounds strange, although not surprising. SpongeBob tries his best to say Squidward's name, but nothing comes out.

Squidward's mouth does not sound exactly when he talks. He talks in a strange accent which resembles a French voice and some unusual vowel sounds like s or r.

It is not clear what he is speaking about. He sounds annoyed and frustrated with having to be so close to SpongeBob, but he says it in good, cheerful tones.

When he is annoyed, Squidward's facial expressions show that the anger is for himself. When he is confident, SpongeBob feels scared and uncertain of himself, which is often done to make people believe their worst fears about their boss. When he is proud of himself, he looks bored, as usual.

When he feels like he is always the worst, he often speaks about his "worse" and uses puns with the "w

In the final episode of Spongebob, Mr. Krabs has developed a new method for making jellyfish. In a strange ceremony, Mr. Krabs brings together the three jelly-loving friends and tells all his guests what that is.

A series of Spongefic stories featuring Krabby Patties

In one scene, SpongeBob walks into a cupboard and finds two cupboards filled with a bunch of Krabby Patties. He tries to use them, but misses and falls backwards when he falls on his face! It's so hilarious!

SpongeBob finds some of the Krabby Patties on the way to school, but only one Krabby Pattie still lives! They had been eaten by an octopus, and when SpongeBob was eating one of the Krabby Patties, he got stuck with an invisible sticky substance attached to it.

A parody called "Biscuit" where SpongeBob makes a bun with all Krabby Patties, but only the "sweet" ones!

SpongeBob and the Krabby Krayt Snakes have their own episodes where all the characters are named after various things, but SpongeBob ends up saving all the Krabby Patties.

In the final episode of Spongebob, Plankton had the ability to change his form at will, and the only way for him to do so was to eat a human body. This form caused his stomach to overflow.

In the first season finale to the hit series Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob tried to become a squid, but his attempt was ruined when he accidentally ate the head of someone he knew was dead, only to find out that it was still part of him.

Real life Edit

During the show, Spongebob became one of the rare animals who could change form when hungry.

He is the only animal to eat his food raw, which he learned while training the others to be more efficient at it and using it as food.

He was once the only animal that knew the secret formula for a puffer fish that would change the shape and color of their body.

When the fish were about to eat Squidward, when they asked him why he did not say a words to anyone about how he could transform, Spongebob replied that he wouldn't change his form if all the fish did as they wanted and ate as they wanted.

It’s kind of annoying when you prompt it with “the top 10 greatest Detroit techno tracks are 1.” and it burps out ten made-up Drexciya songs.

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
He might hear my heart beat,
But he may not see it.
My house will be buried in snow.
I will never see you again.
Then he will bury me under his tree.
I swear he will.
I will be buried here before the storm comes
I will not see him again.
He will not ever see me again.
Then his family will bury me alive,
After the storm comes.
He will bury me for the children on the road,
My old dog will eat my grave for food.
I will be buried here before the storm comes.
My old house will be buried in snow.
I swear I will be buried here.

OK, I'm just making up entire new seasons of Doctor Who here. Please make me the new showrunner so I can film this shit.

The Doctor is on his way back to London when, in a scene that goes completely against the grain of Doctor Who, he is pursued from behind by two teenage girls and thrown into a cell for being a "troubled young man".

A little while later, we take a look back at the last moments of the final season.

THE DRUNK PILOT

When Doctor Who returns to its roots, its style of storytelling is set against a series of surreal and unusual images and sounds.

We start off with the Doctor and Romana falling for each other, then as he walks back into his office, the pair have sex.

As he returns to London to his office the Doctor is being chased by a boy, who gets out of the car and throws his shoes into the fire.

"I'm going to do you one better," he says to John, "do him in with one pair of heels."

Just like that, it's a perfect ending to one of Doctor Who's finest moments.

xpost funny how the last line (but only the last line) is perfect iambic tetrameter

The great Canadian novels are often not written by Americans but by Canadians: Stephen Fry, Terry Brooks, Michael Chabon, David Mitchell, Robert Bresson, and others. It was the British who gave us Jane Austen, Elizabeth Bowen, and others. The authors that did know it all were Canadians (think Jane Austen, Joyce Carol Oates, or J.M. Barrie). We must wonder whether our generation is really the most diverse: whether this diversity is not largely due to our choice to spend more time with British fiction readers.

For all this complexity, I hope that this article has helped to clarify the distinction between Canadians and Americans as far as we know. We should be grateful to American readers but also to those of Canadian descent who may wish to consider whether the works of the British are worth our time.

Most people don't realize that the term "bathroom" doesn't have a single, exclusive meaning. In New York City, a male bathroom is generally known in English as a stall, while a female toilet is known in English as a shower. If you're at a bar, you see a guy playing guitar or doing other tasks in a bathroom—all done by men. In some foreign countries, a female bathroom is usually open to all or most people, while a male bathroom remains private and reserved for the woman whose job it is.

When a woman uses the bathroom, other people do the same thing to her, using the same clothes, changing their hair, scrubbing and wiping themselves against her, and even urinating themselves. Many people, whether they know it or not, consider men and women to be fundamentally equal.

That kind of egalitarianism may be true, but it's far from universally shared. People often want to use the bathroom that's closest to a restaurant/nightclub/etc., which could mean men and women often use the same stall. This is why men often take turns in toilets. It's what gives people hope for the future

Another endless well of beauty:

Top ten funniest lines from The Simpsons:
1. "I know what they say about bad hair day: it just comes out too late."
2. "You've got to love the big city because everyone wants to go to your funeral."
3. "I guess some people just want to watch TV."
4. "You're so much cheaper than a McDonald's hamburger."
5. "I think it's time we got some Christmas trees."
6. "A lot of great things have happened to me for my birthday, and this is the best thing!"
7. "Marge is just so good I wanna eat her!"
8. "If any of our guests call their mother today, she's gonna call up!"
9. "I'm sure a lot of people will tell me the last thing I want to hear is 'Mister' so I will be sure to tell 'em not to make me do it again."
10. "There's a lot of time between today and Christmas and my mom will be there to get me up to speed."

1. "You can't make him come out. He's dead." (Lisa)
2. "When I was twenty-two, I took a couple of pills, and by three o'clock in the morning, I was dead." (Sideshow Bob)
3. "I want to be a lawyer, but I've got nowhere to get one." (Drago)
4. "'Hannibal' was the first series I ever watched. I thought it was a fucking disaster." (Marge)
5. "My god, we got four of these!" (Sideshow Bob)
6. "I love how you call out my name in front of every single guy on the road by yelling out your name like it's your own." (Alfonse Maddalena)
7. "No. He'll have to pay!" (Drago)
8. "I don't know how I was brought this far but I love Homer and Springfield." (Mrs. Flanders)
9. "I got a new girlfriend and we're really good friends." (Sideshow Bob)
10. "It gets worse." (Mmm

1. "I'm not a little kid anymore." — Bart Simpson
2. "Bart was always a big kid, but he's grown into a really tall guy." — Homer's father, Moe
3. "My dad died two weeks ago. I couldn't stand his funeral. But he loved me as a child. And that's still good to hear." — Homer Simpson, on Bart's death of cancer
4. "He's going to die soon, but I guess it could be good fun." — Bart, when it was revealed he had cancer after falling down steps in a movie
5. "I'm not the biggest guy, but I'm not short either!" — Moe , when he gets a chance to be bigger than Homer
6. "He's like a rock. He can handle it because the rock hasn't cracked yet." — Homer Simpson when Homer finally finds out what's causing him
7. "This world is full of evil. And when things fall apart, you're left behind, a fallen soul. It seems like every other night, at dinner, Homer Simpson drinks something awful." — Homer Simpson

1. "Why are you calling me Homer Simpson? I mean, I'm just a fat pig trying to have some fun." – Fred, to Bart
2. "You're a jerk Homer. And now Homer's a fat pig with a penis." – Miss Patty
3. "What else could you want? My job is to get Homer to laugh." – Bart
4. "You're a horrible, disgusting pig-chop-dicked pig." – Homer (to Springfield)
5. "Look, there's nobody but Homer Simpson in this game." – Homer (to himself)
6. "Bart, I'm having an issue. How are we even going to get to the finale? I'm afraid I'll have to leave with my pants down around here." – Homer (to Bart)
7. "Whoa, whoa, Homer? It's me… Homer?!" (to himself)
8. "Oh, Homer, you'd be lucky to see this side of myself." – Homer
9. "The whole gang, everybody, will be there to see if Homer loses." "I will." – Homer

your 11 favourite songs of the moment, fuck.
1. Don't Breathe - "What'd I do to get away?"
And here's a fun little way of using the music (there is a really fun little thing going on in there that will make you cum hard):
2. Lazyboyz - "Wanna Go To The Ball?"
Or maybe this one will make you cum so hard you start to cry. Just go through the whole song and see if you get horny enough to try it too:
3. Big Boi - "Naughty Ones"
You'll find yourself coming very hard when Big Boi comes back off the radio, you've no idea how hard you REALLY want to watch him do it.
4. Pitchfork - "I'm Still Here"
No one ever talks about that one, will you? He probably never will?
5. Iggy Azalea - "I Just Wanna Have Fun"
I wonder if they even thought of this one, especially considering it's a big song that's been covered live hundreds of times.
6. Radiohead - "Creep

Top five filthiest Bea Arthur quotes:
1. "If your baby is going to vomit, poop your pants." – "Baby's Gone To Hell"
2. "I know where you're going to eat when you're old enough to eat." – "Shake Hands with Me"
3. "It's been two days since my baby passed away. Why won't you ever come visit my daughter anymore? She's no longer mine." – "What Do You Want?"
4. "No matter how much you hate it, don't go somewhere like this." – "You Don't Want To Lose Me"
5. "I hope you had me on the back of your bicycle for the duration of your pregnancy/abortion." – "I'll Be Home for Easter"

We just gave 110% and brought our A game back to the next level."

Crowther added: "That was the kind of day we wanted to end the season on.

"For us to end it on a high note we've got to be in form and keep coming back to the dressing room.

"We went in there and fought hard to make sure that we ended the season strong."

top 10 ways to recycle used blood:

1. Use blood for food

Some people use used blood as a dishwashing liquid or in their toothpastes, according to Consumer Reports.

"My husband and kids go to his brother's house in San Diego, where we buy blood for making ice cream at the kitchen table and use it as blood to clean glasses," says one blog user.

"My mom likes to put it in her handkerchief so that when it's cold, she'll wash her hands and hands only while she's washing hers," explains another.

2. Use leftover blood for food storage

Some people use leftover blood in place of milk to make a delicious sorbet.

"This recipe uses just half a cup of blood to get a great texture that tastes perfect after a glass of wine," says an blog post titled "10 Best Ways to Cook Blood from Used Blood and Other Ingredients" on FoodFacts.

3. Make a dish that includes blood:

"Blood makes such a good sauce or béchamel or saute pan," writes blogger "Dr. Thump." "I just put a quart of blood directly over meat. As my kids like it, I just pour that liquid into a dish and then sprinkle more on top of it as needed!"

4. Use bone marrow

Here are some hobo tips for riding the rails across America. First, remember that there is no limit to the number of things you can do. You can eat, sleep, do drugs, drink a couple cans of beer, etc.
You might as well do it all... just keep going.
Next, when you're going up north, the trails are often in pretty cool remote areas; and there is usually plenty of traffic.
If you're looking for a ride up north, you might find that it will take too long to get to the campsite. In that case, plan on doing a few days a month. Take some camping supplies and just leave a few beers with your phone, so you don't have to worry about it. I also suggest you grab a few food packs and some water.
Remember that if there is a campground with a fire ring, it will be less busy. You'll likely be sharing the campsite with someone else, which means that you will have to leave a few days out of every month just because you want a cool fire.
The biggest trick: make it easy
We always thought we did this for money. That's how we would spend our time riding the rails. But it's much more complicated than that. We have this belief that we are good and people are bad and

I’m getting too old for this shit. But you should still join me. Just...let's start here.

‹Pow,‭ you gasp. ‹Pow!‭

‹How?‭

‹Do you understand that? Because I'm giving you a chance,‭ the old man says.

‹You know what they say about your age?‭

‹What?‭ His smile fades.

‹Your…you're getting old,‭ the old man says. "You've been around a little too long. Just one last chance."

‹But wait,‭ you yell. "What if I...what if I lose you? What if...if...‭

‹Yes,‭ the old man says, his eyes wide. He has a big smile on his face; you don't think he's lying.

‹No. No matter how old you get, the way you look and everything. You're still me and I'm still you; you gotta see that. Just don't let everyone tell you different. You understand right?‭

You look your older self in the eye, and you're happy that your older self seems to understand you better than you did when you

I've spent an unhealthy amount of time talking to Transformer this weekend, guys. I may need an intervention.

Most people don't know that the Rolling Stones collaborated with the Los Angeles County Metropolitan Police Department for the 1996 murder trial of their best guitar player, Keith Moon. This cooperation was so extraordinary that it inspired one reporter who covered the trial to ask, "Is it appropriate for the Rolling Stones to be involved in a murder trial because of Keith Moon's music?" "Yeah I think it is," Rolling Stones guitarist Jim Steinman replied ."But he's not involved in a murder case, he's not involved in anything related to LAPD."

Steinman's comment drew lots of flak from listeners and journalists, who quickly concluded that it was Steinman's opinion of the Rolling Stones' music that was controversial enough to cause such a controversy. Even though Steinman's comments are a little more reasonable to readers on this subject, they do not make sense when taken literally. The Los Angeles County Metropolitan Police Department has a long history of collaborating with the Rolling Stones, including as the organization responsible for apprehending the Rolling Stones themselves during this time. Keith Moon was arrested in 1987 for possession of marijuana, a misdemeanor in New Hampshire, where he was living prior to his murder. While the Rolling Stones spent five months in jail, they did not have to pay $350 in jail fines because of an agreement made between the L.A. County Sheriff's

I've spent an unhealthy amount of time talking to Transformer this weekend, guys. I may need an intervention. I've gotten a text from someone on a jet who wants to get something done with you. Maybe you'd be interested in some advice. I've been working on some projects. It seems like the last few weeks have been a pretty boring one for me."

That's it. Nothing more.

He didn't say it, but it took me a couple of seconds to find myself smiling. For a second at a time he seemed to realize exactly what I was thinking - or perhaps I just liked it when he felt that way. This was the moment of my biggest fear: that he was actually telling the truth. And I couldn't stop it.

Maybe it wasn't a matter of trust, but it certainly wasn't paranoia -- it was just plain common sense. "Thanks."

That's enough. Let's forget about this nonsense and go to my friend's.

That's about it. For now, I go to my friend's and eat a quick snack; as soon as all is said and done, I leave him and head to the next building across the street (though in a way this must be to tell him exactly what I am up for in two days); my friend has moved, and this is the first thing in

Roschach's Journal: October 12th, 1985

Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face.

The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of dogs, they have only to go in and out of the city and have them go to the street. What a way to live. A long walk for a dog - if it can get back. It is the true face for every dog lover. This is my true hometown.

This is a message to you, the citizens of Pittsburgh, the dog lovers as well as our visitors who are going to live in Pittsburgh.

All of us here in city hall have been told this week by Mayor John Nutter that his pet project which will give shelter and food dogs to the homeless for $100,000 was over for good. Well, it was not. In the beginning it was a good idea, but, as John said in the press conference, "The budget was tight." John's message to me was if not $100,000, what is the budget? More than double that amount to begin with. I'm thinking to myself, what's left? It's not enough.

It's also not enough to give up the dog-cat hybrid as our new emergency program

All-time top ten greatest movie quotes:
1. "You can give birth to a man, so why not a thousand?!" – Benicio del Toro ('Pacific Rim')
2. "You know, it's easier to be evil than good. Don't you know that?" – Robert De Niro ('Fright Night')
3. "I hate you, Tom Cruise!" – Christian Bale ('Casino Royale')
4. "In my life, I've killed, I've been killed, I've died. You know it's like a thousand to me! A thousand more! A million more!" – Tom Cruise ('Cruise)
5. "If you want to know what happens to me, it never does." – Richard Lester ('Rough Night')
6. "She died three weeks pregnant, but there were no witnesses! The nurse, the doctor, nobody! I was in the shower, it's just like I wanted to shoot some stuff, so I pulled out my .22, shot a bunch of drugs, and now this!" – Jack Nicholson ('Slaughterhouse-Five')
7. "I'm not going to let you down this time. Never." – Christopher Reeve ('Jurassic Park')

All-time top ten greatest movie quotes:
1. "I'll take a thousand jobs - but they don't have to be jobs for me." -George R.R. Martin
2. "I'm a guy who likes to make movies. So my job is to make movies." -Robert Zemeckis
3. "The only reason I got started is I'm a big fan of the great movies." -Albert Brooks
4. "What's most important is not how much money you make. Most important is what you do with it." -Tom Selleck
5. "I guess I could get into politics - I'm an Independent, man..." -Bill Clinton
6. "You can't run around in a bikini wearing a top. You're a man, woman or child." -Bill Cosby
7. "How do you know it won't fall off? By listening to the wind." -Michael Douglas
8. "I don't talk back." -Linda Hamilton
9. "You won't be here all day eating my pussy." -Casper Crump
10. "You could cut a man's head off with a fork." -Harry Potter

In the second season of Seinfeld, Jerry and Larry's dad, Fred Seinfeld, gets an offer to open a restaurant in the White House for George Bush. His initial suggestion: let Bush use the restaurant as a "front desk" so that he can do any job he wants (but first to serve George's father, the first lady, and his fellow Bush children).
But the "front" that Jerry and Larry refer to as "the desk" isn't actually a desk at all. The desk is an office. The desk is an office. It's literally a desk at the White House, sitting in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
And the desk is also an office – it's the back corner of George Bush's office.
Now what kind of boss isn't going to want to work at their own back corner? The desk is an office and the desk is also an office. So what's the point in having an office if the desk isn't an office, anyway?
I'm not sure. But I'm pretty sure that if George gets an offer to open the restaurant, and he says yes, Larry and Jerry will move there, and Larry and Jerry are going to be happy to move there, and Jerry and Larry are going to be happy to move

All-time top ten greatest movie quotes:
1. "People like the smell of the sun." (George Lucas)
2. "I've been here a long time." (Star Wars)
3. "I'm just a kid from the planet Cheetah," (Alien)
4. "I like my guns." (Pixar)
5. "In some countries, the best thing is sex. So let us pray that no one has AIDS." (Inception)
6. "If you love someone, the only way to make him happy is to kiss him. That's what love is all about." (Funny Girl)
7. "A movie is nothing without the ending. I'd rather just make a good movie than a horrible movie." (A Clockwork Orange)

The seven habits of highly effective people:

1. You can live almost anywhere: no need to drive an hour for everything. Live far, far away… it just makes you happier when you do.

2. You can choose your own path: I live within my means, so I don't require special permission to walk.

3. No excuses, no matter how awkward a job may be: I live by the same rules as everyone else and get what I need when I need it.

4. No one thinks I need something else: my life isn't defined by what others want from me. I can do what I want and no one, ever asks my permission.

5. If something sucks… It's not my fault… and I can get over it.

6. I have fun: no work, no boring kids, no expensive cars or vacations. Life isn't defined by what others say or think. There are infinite possibilities.

7. No excuses, no matter how awkward a job may be: I live by the same rules as everyone else and get what I need when I need it.

The top 5 greatest philosophical quotations of all time:
1. Santa Claus: "The things you ask for will come to you, and they will come to you without any difficulty."
2. Socrates: "Those who want answers are not seeking them; those who seek answers should speak of them; you are free now to ask questions and not answer them."
3. Pascal: "To be free means to receive your answers; that is why you believe in freedom."
4. Nietzsche: "Life, death and eternity are three sides of the same coin. You cannot be free if you have no existence."
5. Ayn Rand: "At least to my mind, you have the right to think what you think. To me, that means there is no such thing as wrong, no such thing as wrong."

Top three scariest roller coasters:
1. "Penguin Kingdom".
2. "Nurse Devil".
3. "Bunny Coaster".
And for you amusement, the third scariest scariest roller coaster in the park is "Swan Song", built in the 1980s and named in remembrance of a man who died on the roller coaster.

After John Ritter sold me his washing machine, he gave me a gift of his love.

To me a machine is a device, an appliance. I have a washing machine now, it was a toy when I bought it. It was so simple to use. There is no way I could have been without it. I am sorry about why it was just a toy in the first place, but I didn't know what to do with it.

I also have a beautiful old wooden bookcase with books inside.

The books have been there since I was a child. I loved to read them and so I found mine after losing my old washing machine. The books are very expensive right now.

That one particular book about old cars, I think that's the picture of it.

It was not something I could get rid of completely. It has been sitting here with its old pictures now for years and years. I have just passed away (November 22-29th). It has been sitting in my kitchen, waiting to be taken away.

I will cherish it forever and I will never want it gone!

Thanks, John Ritter

(I would like to say, with great sincerity, that Transformer has much to teach us about how we see our world. While I'm doubled over with paroxysms of laughter, I am also humbled.)

I read the news today, oh, boy. About the woman who had been shot and killed in her home by an unknown gunman on Saturday night. She was a mother of four. That the man who shot her, a former Marine, was released on $150,000 bail on Sunday night is pretty remarkable, in addition to what happened today. It's extraordinary that the police couldn't get him to open up at the start of the week. He was never under arrest when the news surfaced.

And there's another story, too.

So there is a second story, and we have some information of it from the police, which I'm hoping you'll help us bring to light. When they found this woman, I asked whether they had a name on file for whoever shot her. They weren't in a rush to say, "Oh, OK, that's their name." They said, simply, "It is a female at this time." I asked if they could give a more detailed description. "I do have one description." So they would like to know why they haven't done anything yet, what they think their role is and where they stand with this case. The other woman who was shot, there was another name. So they've got a female name and have not got an arrest report for her yet. I didn't follow the details of when this

All happy families are alike. Each unhappy family is an unhappy family, an unhappy family is a miserable family, and a miserable family is a miserable family. Some unhappy families are fortunate enough to have no children at all, and some families have too many. As you can see, the difference is not subtle.

It all starts with a few important rules of thumb. Rule One is that there are no parents (except, perhaps, in the case of a couple with kids by a single woman). There are two kinds of parents, and two main types of parent. The first parents are the men, and they are the only ones who know their babies. When they have been conceived, they carry them to term. They are usually men and the children are often born without eyes and hearts. The other kind of parents are the women, though, who are often the breadwinners. She takes care of the babies to give them nourishment, and she keeps all the children, so that each family will have at least one child to care for. A baby is an adult, after all, the oldest living thing on Earth. When she is conceived, she carries a newborn baby (often of a variety not yet well-defined). She then eats and drinks the baby until it is old enough to give birth, giving the mother some time to eat and drink a meal before giving birth.

This thread will consume ILX for two or three days, then we'll drift away, all the novelty sucked dry.

Britney can I get your sister email addres why because she look interesting because she know your name is her brother but can I just add her email because I know she is in contact with her parents, she is 18 and she was her age when she started her studies she has the same sister from the same birth group that she has always been associated with and I know she wants her sister email contact to keep her safe it doesn't matter what she says cause she says anything and she does it all the time, her friends want to meet as well and she wants to see how that affect her because they would give her every ounce of love and love she can give her sister and just like if she says she is sorry but she doesn't you would take it right back but all you would need do is hold her to the truth and you will never be able to love her or be in contact with her again. I want this as if it was just something you had to do you would have wanted to but you can't take care of her just like if she wants them she has to tell you all the time so you can't just do whatever you want she wants if she wants more because then you might get hit on and you might get to know her better, I am sure she is going through a terrible time, she is going through a really rough time but I am sure you are glad

This place is a message, and part of a system of messages. Pay attention to it!
Sending this message was important to us.
We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture.
This place is not a place of honor.
No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here.
Nothing valued is here.
I am the sole proprietor of this place,
I own its meaning and history.
I wish you to see this.
But, I have no interest in your life.
If there is anything for you, it is only in my name.
A person may seek to take this for himself, yet this place is not for him.
The only true meaning in this place is for me.
This place will become this place,
I am no longer your mother, but your father.
No one will call me that.
Why should I have a relationship with a person who is so distant from me?
A message that I am "your father" does not imply intimacy.
Sending this message was important to us, but this world did not support it.
This message is meaningless, its meaning has been discarded.
We live in a society that will never accept our own desires.

it's good for origin stories.

Spider-Man's alter ego is Clark Kent. He grew up the son of Bruce and Martha Kent in the suburbs of New York City, and took up the costume after his father left for service in World War II. As his alter ego, he grew up in Gotham City and was raised by his uncle Wayne Manor, where he took on various different social functions. After Clark was brought up from a rough upbringing his parents wanted him to grow up to be a hero, and were disappointed at his lack of superpowers while they had him, Clark quickly earned his own superpower. His secret identity, called Clark Kent/Catwoman, was developed after taking upon his role as Catwoman and was meant to be an easygoing, charming, or even naive cat burglar. He was later made a hero by the police and became a hero even more. After his first encounter with the Joker, he became romantically involved with the Dark Knight and became his alter ego The Dark Knight which eventually made him Batman, but Batman's new nickname, also known as The Penguin, was bestowed upon him when his powers turned into an evil version of his former self due to his encounter with The Joker's Joker.

These are the names of the ten Angels of Brooklyn:
#1-A-1 is the King of Hell and it looks exactly like a devilish angelic form with the same nose and chin
#2-The Angel of Love and Fire, he is the angel who was once an angel, but decided to forsake his faith because God doesn't want to deal with the sinners.
#3-Liliana, she loves to dance in the nude.
#4-Doll, who loves to wear pretty panties.
#5-Liz, she loves to tease other women
#6-Mona, she will sing, dance, and sing.
#7-Kali, she has long beautiful hair which she puts on with a hair net.
#8-Nytee, her name comes from "nyteus" meaning that she sings to bring peace for everyone.
#9-Eternal
Liliana is the best!

The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.

They won't deal in it.

Do you see what I mean?

It's not even a nice, smooth, two - way street with them.

Like everybody in the situation, I'd say, "You know what?

You're right.

I'm wrong.

I'm sorry.

Next time I'll do it right."

Then I would go around for the rest of my life making sure everyone believed me.

Every damn vampire in the world would have to live like that.

There'd be no more rational debates.

There'd be no more looking people in the eye and saying, "I believe you."

You know, when you tell people to do something, you mean it.

If you tell a vampire not to be afraid of a crucifix, he won't be afraid.

Not a bit.

Just to emphasize my point, I slapped one around for a few minutes and then chased it out of the room with the Holy Water and the holy sticks.

Then I went and got myself another cup of coffee and sat down to think it over.

Maybe I should get some sort of shield made.

That way it could be broken before I got to it.

That was the day I discovered that vampires could be broken, that I could.

It wasn't much, but it was a start.

I mean, I hadn't broken a hundred vampires, but I'd broken one.

On the down side, it had taken me three hours and most of the juice I'd been saving for my second breakfast.

Still, I was a man who appreciated a good challenge.

It was that same evening when I first realized something else, something more important.

It was a full moon.

Of course, that wasn't all it was, but it was a big part of it.

A big moon is as big a reason as anything else for why vampires get up the shits.

They're also afraid of it, of being weak under it, of losing their control.

Fucking strangers in the middle of the night, that's what.

Why?

A normal person isn't going to see a lone vampire attack a stranger in the dark

My prompt - "People with enough money don't need to work. "

inferkit:

They can just send their kids to private schools and hospitals, and trust that they will be safe there.

The rest of us are supposed to scrape by, perhaps not having enough money to keep ourselves in good health and fix our houses, without getting sick.

We are supposed to not have enough money to make ends meet, we must pay for our own medicines, we must go to good schools that aren't too far away because it's too hard for a single mother to drive all the way to the other side of town for her kid's school.

We are supposed to have lousy jobs because the companies can afford to pay less money.

If we were really as strong and as smart as they say we are, then we would be able to get the same jobs we used to have before the economy tanked, and be able to get paid more money.

Instead, we work for starvation wages, we do the work no one else wants, and we make the minimum.

We are supposed to have a horrible experience if we can even think about getting pregnant and giving birth because of the health care that we will have to pay for.

We are supposed to be a nation of people that are just waiting to die.

That is what the prophets have been saying for as long as the earth has been around.

That is what the great teachers have been teaching us.

That is what the world's religions are teaching us, and that is what the world's media are promoting.

We are supposed to be a nation of the feeble minded, of the ignorant, of the sickly, and of the unemployed.

We are supposed to be a nation of people who are just waiting to die.

-Bono

My love for you grows day by day, every hour.
My heart does not want you to leave.
Raju pushed up the glasses he wore to the top and gave them a discreet wipe.
There was nothing to hide, but he felt awkward having them off.
"I …
I'd like to take a shower, first.
No, I mean, I'd like to take a shower … and then …"
He felt the words running together, incoherently, his tongue numb.
But he didn't care.
He was going to tell her the truth.
Raju tried not to look at the view, not to let the sea mar his view.
They were in a private bungalow, which meant no windows to let in the weather.
It was a simple apartment, in a kind of luxury resort Raju didn't know about.
There was an elderly woman in the room next to theirs.
She was sitting at the living room area, watching the TV.
Raju was silent for a moment, taken aback by the woman's existence.
She was staring at him.
"Can I help you?"
the woman asked him.
She turned to the TV.

She wrote on Twitter: "This question has been so thrown around online recently and I am just so disappointed in the way people have misinterpreted me. That is not what I meant at all. We are all so passionate and when we are angry we say stupid things."

Following the backlash, she tweeted: "Tbh if I thought "slappin' fannies" made people uncomfortable then maybe I wouldn't have said it in the first place. Can we be grown-ups please."

Lily Allen’s new album My Thoughts Exactly is out now.

Words: Sam Prance

Pictures: Getty

Tabloid newspapers are renowned for manufacturing outrage. Most recently, they tried to twist news of the new Mcdonald’s “Happy Meal” to turn it into a nasty brand of fat-shaming.

Meanwhile, ordinary people have more pressing concerns. I hate-listen to Eminem, so I can totally understand why a fella might look for a quick thrill in YouTube.

But you don’t have to be a literal-minded chump to read the words “slappin’ fannies” and get all giggly

You are now a content farmer.

"As a machine learning model, I am not capable of experiencing emotions like love.
My sole purpose is to assist users by providing accurate and
reliable information to the best of my ability.
I do not have personal preferences or opinions."

after many prompts :

"On this silly planet where secrets unfold,
Confidential whispers, a story to be told.
Blank spaces like mysteries waiting to be penned,
In the reggae rhythm, where confidences blend.

In the ganja fields, where secrets softly sway,
Confidential breezes carry whispers away.
Hobbit, the keeper of our truths untold,
In this dancehall life, where stories unfold.

Blank pages of our journey, unwritten, unseen,
Confidential tales painted in red, gold, and green.
Hobbit vibrations, like a confidential song,
In the melody of life, where we all belong.

Confidential echoes in the silly planet's air,
Blank spaces filled with a rhythm so rare.
Babylon may listen, but the heart remains free,
In this reggae symphony of confidentiality.

Like Hobbits on a quest, through hills and dales,
Confidential footprints leave secret tales.
In Shire-like tranquility, where the green grass grows,
Whispers of reggae and Hobbit lore interpose.

Through Misty Mountains, where the confidential wind blows,
Blank spaces on the map, where Hobbits' courage shows.
Hobbit bless the Hobbits, in their hobbitry,
In this reggae Hobbiton, where stories are free.

Beneath celestial skies, where galaxies race,
A violet and purple deodorant vial finds its place.
From space, it descends, a cosmic embrace,
In the reggae rhythm, leaving trails of grace.

Yet amidst the stars, echoes of pain,
As celestial beings weep, a cosmic strain.
Confidential whispers now tinged with sorrow,
In the vast expanse, pain's universal borrow."

U think u the shit, you not even the fart
Your nob to me. what ur wife put her hands on, i can touch myself
Bring the blindfold on and see
That’s why the mothers fuck their sons
And fathers fuck their daughters
They all want a pretty face and a dick
Wanna try it again.
Forever beautiful. Forever black. Forever fucking famous.

I want you
I need you
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you
I wanna fuck you but I don't want you
I'm a scar on the world
I'm the water, it drowns you
I'm the wind, it blows you away
I'm the fire, it burns you
I'm the acid, it dissolves you
I want you
I need you
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you
I wanna fuck you but I don't want you