Barfly Best Practices

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I had to completely refactor my mental calculus when drinking (or eating dinner) in Manhattan because the idea of separate checks or the wait staff splitting the check just does not compute. I mean, fair enough, I'm a traveler in a strange land, I must learn the ways. But it also explains why Venmo took off like crazy in NYC more than other places -- you're constantly having to send your friends cash because they got the tab!

mh, Tuesday, 21 May 2019 19:50 (two years ago) link

so I guess I'd recommend paying per drink when sitting at the bar with a chum to make it easier, or carrying enough cash to just divvy up the bill. Or just buy the drinks and give the person you'll never see again a "you can get it next time!" wink

mh, Tuesday, 21 May 2019 19:51 (two years ago) link

three months pass...

Keep in mind: mixed drinks don’t have a set alcohol content

calstars, Wednesday, 28 August 2019 00:16 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

When paying in small denominations, lay the cash out in separate piles for the drink and the tip

calstars, Sunday, 22 September 2019 16:43 (one year ago) link

When finished with a can, crush it slightly to let the bartender know what’s up

calstars, Sunday, 22 September 2019 18:00 (one year ago) link

four weeks pass...

If there are multiple bartenders and there is one you favorite, don’t be afraid to tell the others if you’re approached that you’re “good” with a wave of the hand. Then just be patient til you can order with your preferred.

calstars, Sunday, 20 October 2019 02:33 (one year ago) link

One way to hit on a bartender is to say, “buy you a drink?”

calstars, Saturday, 26 October 2019 01:21 (one year ago) link

four weeks pass...

An experienced server (one that’s probably worth your time) will tip cash face down. When you collect your change, leave the bills for the tip face up.

June Pointer’s Valentine’s Day Secret Admirer Note Author (calstars), Saturday, 23 November 2019 00:35 (one year ago) link

what is this nonsense

-_- (jim in vancouver), Saturday, 23 November 2019 00:45 (one year ago) link

servers must fucking hate you

-_- (jim in vancouver), Saturday, 23 November 2019 00:45 (one year ago) link

barfly best practice: run a tab, pay once, when you leave, tip 20-25%. fin.

-_- (jim in vancouver), Saturday, 23 November 2019 00:46 (one year ago) link

does the alcohol go in the mouth or can it be drank another way

Jordan Pickford LOLverdrive (Neanderthal), Saturday, 23 November 2019 01:09 (one year ago) link

brownie, Saturday, 23 November 2019 02:43 (one year ago) link

I don't get this leaving cash out on the bar.

Yeah, if it's a tip, but keep it in your pocket otherwise.

pplains, Saturday, 23 November 2019 03:11 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

Keep in mind — from a bartender’s perspective, there’s nothing more useless than a patron commenting on the music.

calstars, Friday, 3 January 2020 22:04 (one year ago) link

ugh, nice newer bar and this group came in and they all are sitting, not waiting in a line. and two are doing the “holding cash up to get service” move. ok, it’s a small space and they are servicing _your group_ from left to right. you are the only people this guy is serving. and the guy near me has money in hand and singles on the bar in front of him, in some passive aggressive “this is the tip” move. and when he is about to be served, he puts those singles back in his wallet


babu frik fan account (mh), Saturday, 4 January 2020 06:35 (one year ago) link

If the tables are wobbly, place your drink in the middle

calstars, Saturday, 11 January 2020 01:50 (one year ago) link

If the drinks are wobbly, place your

papa stank (Neanderthal), Saturday, 11 January 2020 02:01 (one year ago) link

four weeks pass...

came here to post the same video as brownie upthread

doorstep jetski (dog latin), Monday, 10 February 2020 10:56 (one year ago) link

six months pass...

When paying with a card at a new place, provide the most exclusive plastic (or metal) that you can. This may lead to better service and customer prioritization in anticipation of a large tip.

calstars, Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:12 (ten months ago) link

rich people are bad tippers so this probably won't work

Temporary Erogenous Zone (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:14 (ten months ago) link

my wife got a 10% tip from one of the countries wealthiest real estate developers/art patrons

Temporary Erogenous Zone (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:15 (ten months ago) link

lol yeah

solo scampito (mh), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:47 (ten months ago) link

this thread makes going to the bar seem like going to the soup nazi

brimstead, Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:51 (ten months ago) link

“When in groups of 5 or multiples of 7, make sure to all sit on the same side on the booth and throw 8 five dollars bills folded into airplanes towards the bartender every 24 1/2 minutes”

brimstead, Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:53 (ten months ago) link

also know the code name for your drink. calling it by its real name is an insult

muntjac wagner (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:54 (ten months ago) link


Temporary Erogenous Zone (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 23:56 (ten months ago) link

Assuming the bartender is busy, lower your cost per hour at the bar by bringing a thermos or flask from home

calstars, Monday, 24 August 2020 21:56 (ten months ago) link

PROTIP: Don't go to a bar during COVID

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 24 August 2020 22:43 (ten months ago) link

one month passes...

Sometimes a big tip is necessary to alert a new or unfamiliar bartender that you’re “worthy” of buybacks. So if there’s someone new behind the bar, be generous and look forward to the next time for reciprocation.

calstars, Sunday, 27 September 2020 22:00 (eight months ago) link

one month passes...

Just stand in one place and drink until you fall over

calstars, Sunday, 1 November 2020 23:42 (seven months ago) link

three months pass...

If it’s busy, and you score a good spot or table: to deter squatters, order doubles, and have a spare drink on the table at all times

calstars, Sunday, 14 February 2021 18:35 (four months ago) link

how is that not a dick move

brimstead, Sunday, 14 February 2021 19:58 (four months ago) link

If it’s crowded, place your half empty drink in clear view of the bartender so that it’s clearly visible when they make their rounds. This allows them to quickly assess, together with a nod on your part, that you’re in need of another round.

calstars, Saturday, 27 February 2021 01:49 (three months ago) link

half empty? we only drink half?

brimstead, Saturday, 27 February 2021 02:40 (three months ago) link

Drinking half is a dick move

calstars, Saturday, 27 February 2021 02:42 (three months ago) link

Tip directly into the recipients hand / vision

You all stealin what’s not yours can gfy

calstars, Monday, 1 March 2021 00:28 (three months ago) link

two months pass...

When arriving at the bar and verbally greeting the bouncer or bartender, volume is more important than content

calstars, Saturday, 1 May 2021 21:44 (one month ago) link

strolls into doorway, screams "FUCK UP CUNT!!!" across the room, returns to outdoor seating and waits for preferred beverages to be fetched.

bobo honkin' slobo babe (sic), Saturday, 1 May 2021 21:51 (one month ago) link

When paying cash and breaking a large bill, if you have enough for a tip in small bills, give that to the bartender when he gives you your change. This precludes the never-graceful “let me give you a tip from the change” interaction

calstars, Sunday, 2 May 2021 17:56 (one month ago) link

one month passes...

Don’t creep or hit on the staff

calstars, Saturday, 5 June 2021 20:25 (two weeks ago) link

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