local businesses with horribly formed "names"

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Holy Crêpe

mick signals, Monday, 20 May 2019 21:15 (five months ago) link

Would go from 'horribly' to 'brilliantly' formed if that's next door to or across the road from a place of worship.

brain (krakow), Monday, 20 May 2019 21:20 (five months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Sorry, but just to err on the side of caution my children will not be crossing the threshold of Your Child is Mine Preschool, thankuverymuch.

Morrie Antoilette (Old Lunch), Thursday, 13 June 2019 14:01 (four months ago) link

ahahahaha

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 13 June 2019 14:51 (four months ago) link

Apparently, at one time, it was a lingerie shop.

https://i.imgur.com/fGeMf4g.png

Now it's just creepy as hell.

pplains, Saturday, 15 June 2019 02:25 (four months ago) link

Spotted in Bordeaux

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CAOGKeCUkAA632h.png

vanjie wail (qiqing), Sunday, 16 June 2019 10:15 (four months ago) link

Terrible, but it works slightly better with a thick French accent since the 'd' and 's' of 'bâtards' are both silent.

pomenitul, Sunday, 16 June 2019 10:24 (four months ago) link

'Greyed A Greyhounds'

...You didn't need to do that. That didn't need to happen.

Top Number One Most Of Smart (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 25 June 2019 13:51 (four months ago) link

There's an optometrist here called AccessorEyes.

nickn, Tuesday, 25 June 2019 16:53 (four months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Dog grooming shop called 'Going To The Dogs'. As it's a shop and not a mobile service are they just saying their shop is run-down and shit?

S-, Saturday, 13 July 2019 12:54 (three months ago) link

four weeks pass...

not a horrible name, but a marquee. Local Animal Hospital has a marquee that says

"WATCH ME SNIP
WATCH ME SPAY SPAY"

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 August 2019 17:56 (three months ago) link

no

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 10 August 2019 18:28 (three months ago) link

felt so ripped off. there were no gold in them trenches

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 13 August 2019 02:18 (two months ago) link

If your poo is gold, you need to get the fuck out of Lollapalooza or whatever and see a doctor ASAP.

Allergic to Calvin (I M Losted), Tuesday, 13 August 2019 02:21 (two months ago) link

I recently discovered that there’s a gift shop in NJ called Flowers in the Attic.

tokyo rosemary, Tuesday, 13 August 2019 03:36 (two months ago) link

This is probably less a horribly-formed 'name' than it is an inexplicable-yet-amazing combination of name + business purview but

Life For Christ Karate Ministries

Amply Drizzled with Pure Luxury (Old Lunch), Friday, 16 August 2019 14:32 (two months ago) link

I see all sorts of religion out there on the dojo.

pplains, Friday, 16 August 2019 18:09 (two months ago) link

Granted, it runs a little more Eastern than whatever this is:

https://i.imgur.com/z3x890E.jpg

pplains, Friday, 16 August 2019 18:10 (two months ago) link

i'm always driving when i pass this place so no photos but here is their website

http://ubadautodetail.com/

i kind of like the name but i'm not usually in the market for auto detailing. in fact i don't actually know what "auto detailing" entails.

Abigail, Wife of Preserved Fish (rushomancy), Friday, 16 August 2019 23:27 (two months ago) link

three weeks pass...

It's not a local company, but a North American roofing business based out of Pennsylvania... but...

https://i.imgur.com/FRg4cI5.png

Every morning I drive past the local facility and every morning, I think about the 100% fabricated marketing conversation that my head insists on replaying:

CEO: I don't just guarantee we've got the lowest price – I certaintee it!

MARKETING GUY: Ok. I like it. But first, first, "certaintee" isn't really a word, and secondly –

CEO: Well I know that! I just made it up!

MARKETING GUY: Secondly, if it really was a word, how would it come to mean a more intense version of "guarantee"? It seems problematic, espe–

CEO: Fuck it! You know what, smart guy? That word's that's not a word is the new name for the company! How's that for an "intense version"? Haha, IT'S GODDMAMMED CERTAINTEED FROM NOW ON.

pplains, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 19:41 (two months ago) link

Now, Watchpity, for losers who can't go to the awards shows but have to be on time to watch them on TV with acquaintances...

pplains, Thursday, 12 September 2019 00:37 (one month ago) link

hey watchpital! i'm walkin' here!

andrew m., Thursday, 12 September 2019 14:38 (one month ago) link

one month passes...

Not quite on topic, but calling a strip club ‘Burke and Hare’ (in Edinburgh) is kind of dark, maybe over honest?

Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Friday, 8 November 2019 16:20 (three days ago) link

I mentioned this elsewhere but I enjoyed seeing a business called "STAMP TRAMP - mobile notary."

tempted by the fruit of your mother (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 8 November 2019 16:24 (three days ago) link


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