local businesses with horribly formed "names"

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Holy Crêpe

mick signals, Monday, 20 May 2019 21:15 (one year ago) link

Would go from 'horribly' to 'brilliantly' formed if that's next door to or across the road from a place of worship.

brain (krakow), Monday, 20 May 2019 21:20 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

Sorry, but just to err on the side of caution my children will not be crossing the threshold of Your Child is Mine Preschool, thankuverymuch.

Morrie Antoilette (Old Lunch), Thursday, 13 June 2019 14:01 (one year ago) link

ahahahaha

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 13 June 2019 14:51 (one year ago) link

Apparently, at one time, it was a lingerie shop.

https://i.imgur.com/fGeMf4g.png

Now it's just creepy as hell.

pplains, Saturday, 15 June 2019 02:25 (one year ago) link

Spotted in Bordeaux

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CAOGKeCUkAA632h.png

vanjie wail (qiqing), Sunday, 16 June 2019 10:15 (one year ago) link

Terrible, but it works slightly better with a thick French accent since the 'd' and 's' of 'bâtards' are both silent.

pomenitul, Sunday, 16 June 2019 10:24 (one year ago) link

'Greyed A Greyhounds'

...You didn't need to do that. That didn't need to happen.

Top Number One Most Of Smart (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 25 June 2019 13:51 (one year ago) link

There's an optometrist here called AccessorEyes.

nickn, Tuesday, 25 June 2019 16:53 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

Dog grooming shop called 'Going To The Dogs'. As it's a shop and not a mobile service are they just saying their shop is run-down and shit?

S-, Saturday, 13 July 2019 12:54 (eleven months ago) link

four weeks pass...

not a horrible name, but a marquee. Local Animal Hospital has a marquee that says

"WATCH ME SNIP
WATCH ME SPAY SPAY"

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 August 2019 17:56 (eleven months ago) link

no

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 10 August 2019 18:28 (eleven months ago) link

felt so ripped off. there were no gold in them trenches

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 13 August 2019 02:18 (ten months ago) link

If your poo is gold, you need to get the fuck out of Lollapalooza or whatever and see a doctor ASAP.

Allergic to Calvin (I M Losted), Tuesday, 13 August 2019 02:21 (ten months ago) link

I recently discovered that there’s a gift shop in NJ called Flowers in the Attic.

tokyo rosemary, Tuesday, 13 August 2019 03:36 (ten months ago) link

This is probably less a horribly-formed 'name' than it is an inexplicable-yet-amazing combination of name + business purview but

Life For Christ Karate Ministries

Amply Drizzled with Pure Luxury (Old Lunch), Friday, 16 August 2019 14:32 (ten months ago) link

I see all sorts of religion out there on the dojo.

pplains, Friday, 16 August 2019 18:09 (ten months ago) link

Granted, it runs a little more Eastern than whatever this is:

https://i.imgur.com/z3x890E.jpg

pplains, Friday, 16 August 2019 18:10 (ten months ago) link

i'm always driving when i pass this place so no photos but here is their website

http://ubadautodetail.com/

i kind of like the name but i'm not usually in the market for auto detailing. in fact i don't actually know what "auto detailing" entails.

Abigail, Wife of Preserved Fish (rushomancy), Friday, 16 August 2019 23:27 (ten months ago) link

three weeks pass...

It's not a local company, but a North American roofing business based out of Pennsylvania... but...

https://i.imgur.com/FRg4cI5.png

Every morning I drive past the local facility and every morning, I think about the 100% fabricated marketing conversation that my head insists on replaying:

CEO: I don't just guarantee we've got the lowest price – I certaintee it!

MARKETING GUY: Ok. I like it. But first, first, "certaintee" isn't really a word, and secondly –

CEO: Well I know that! I just made it up!

MARKETING GUY: Secondly, if it really was a word, how would it come to mean a more intense version of "guarantee"? It seems problematic, espe–

CEO: Fuck it! You know what, smart guy? That word's that's not a word is the new name for the company! How's that for an "intense version"? Haha, IT'S GODDMAMMED CERTAINTEED FROM NOW ON.

pplains, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 19:41 (ten months ago) link

Now, Watchpity, for losers who can't go to the awards shows but have to be on time to watch them on TV with acquaintances...

pplains, Thursday, 12 September 2019 00:37 (ten months ago) link

hey watchpital! i'm walkin' here!

andrew m., Thursday, 12 September 2019 14:38 (ten months ago) link

one month passes...

Not quite on topic, but calling a strip club ‘Burke and Hare’ (in Edinburgh) is kind of dark, maybe over honest?

Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Friday, 8 November 2019 16:20 (eight months ago) link

I mentioned this elsewhere but I enjoyed seeing a business called "STAMP TRAMP - mobile notary."

tempted by the fruit of your mother (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 8 November 2019 16:24 (eight months ago) link

one month passes...

Fisticuts Barbershop.

visiting, Saturday, 28 December 2019 02:06 (six months ago) link

there is a t-shirt printing business called "Hittn' Skins" here

a dumpster rental place called "Bin There Dump That"

a shoe store simply called "Shoooz"

a formal wear store with the unfortunate name "T & A Formal Wear"

and a dumpster rental called "Kenny G the Dumpster King"

looking for Mon in Alderaan places (Neanderthal), Saturday, 28 December 2019 02:47 (six months ago) link

Incredible

championship winning vibration (Spottie), Saturday, 28 December 2019 04:32 (six months ago) link

https://i.ibb.co/1fPmcrF/IMG-4362.jpg

the woefullest shirker (NickB), Saturday, 28 December 2019 12:27 (six months ago) link

On Brick Lane yet another place has opened in honour of our old prostitute murderer, this time a chip shop called Jack the Chipper. Slightly worried that the council might eventually get around to making us all have a play on his name at some point. (For example: About a year and a half ago they opened the Turkish barbers ‘Jack the Clipper’)

a hoy hoy, Saturday, 28 December 2019 13:47 (six months ago) link

four weeks pass...
two weeks pass...

Handbag store that promises Bohemian Luxury: BOHLUX.

I_Got_Loaded, Monday, 10 February 2020 21:54 (five months ago) link

Loving Bottoms Diaper Bank

Hot, Now, and Oh-So-Very Wow! (Old Lunch), Thursday, 20 February 2020 12:40 (four months ago) link

OMG I thought nothing would top that today, and then thirty seconds later:

Bringem Young Academy

Hot, Now, and Oh-So-Very Wow! (Old Lunch), Thursday, 20 February 2020 12:41 (four months ago) link

Murica

https://i.imgur.com/jOULzSh.jpg

nothing in the dialog (unregistered), Saturday, 22 February 2020 01:56 (four months ago) link

https://thedailyrecord.com/2020/02/20/after-raising-74-million-zerofox-eyes-ipo/

Baltimore cybersecurity firm ZeroFox announced the completion a $74 million funding round Thursday, and CEO James C. Foster said an initial public offering is likely in the company’s future.

El Tomboto, Saturday, 22 February 2020 02:06 (four months ago) link

CREME BEAU-LE
(SALON)

conrad, Monday, 24 February 2020 22:39 (four months ago) link

gross

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 25 February 2020 02:51 (four months ago) link

LOVE

BUTTON

Expart of Languidge (Old Lunch), Friday, 28 February 2020 19:24 (four months ago) link

you used your finger to press myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Friday, 28 February 2020 19:26 (four months ago) link

Not going to subject my phone's browser to the preceding 900+ posts, but just in case no one has mentioned the many, many dog groomers who name their business "Doggy Style" I'll go ahead and nominate them all, and pray that they someday break free from the tacky shackles of awful taste that bind them.

cat, Saturday, 29 February 2020 20:19 (four months ago) link

Yesterday, I learned of a nail salon called Finger Bang

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Saturday, 29 February 2020 20:25 (four months ago) link

Somewhere there's a hubcap shop with a pun on rimming in its name and no, I will not google it.

cat, Saturday, 29 February 2020 20:40 (four months ago) link

two months pass...

Lanarkshires (sic) first dedicated self service dog wash

https://www.inairdrie.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/81334257_captain_dugwash.jpg

Not really horribly formed, pretty funny actually.

Angry Question Time Man's Flute Club Band (Tom D.), Monday, 4 May 2020 16:17 (two months ago) link

four weeks pass...

stolen from a friends twitter when he visited Downham Market in Norfolk

https://imgur.com/QlV8Seg
https://imgur.com/yR7VmYo

( X '____' )/ (zappi), Wednesday, 3 June 2020 13:03 (one month ago) link


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