pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

*the difference

.23, surely

Needs more π.

If you take a test and get one question wrong you get a 98. It’s possible to be nearly perfect but not perfect.

Do you hear albums that way?

X got one question wrong on ‘Los Angeles’ and they got a B- and a stern essay on their permanent record

Sister doesn't have Lee Ranaldo yelling "kick it!"

therefore, 9.8

I don't know if it's a common thing but when I was an undergrad you couldn't get more than an A in the humanities at my university because they deemed it impossible to objectively determine how much an essay deserves past a certain point. I still think it makes sense.

we really need an additional decimal point here

They should really get someone who has never heard of Sonic Youth to blind review these things.

the tricky part is finding someone who has never heard of Sonic Youth but is also qualified to write music reviews

qualified? qualified!? hey buddy don't get all conde nast on us

yeah... thanks...yeah, we're going to need employees who haven't obtained their SY qualification certificate to go ahead and move down into the basement by end of day, yeah, it's only temporary until the certificate program is completed and verified by HR, thanks...

Like a young person who is very interested in audio sensations from sound waves. Wish there was a name for that

"hipster"

You could also hire a jazz/classical gatekeeper to do it. Chances are he (yes, he) has never knowingly heard Sonic Youth.

Lol, Evan

that's a pretty cool concept, but if i'm honest with myself, the historical/cultural context is most of the reason i read those reviews. and some reviewer coming into it blind isn't gonna be able to offer anything on that front.

"Sonic Youth? But these guys are old. Must be some of that 90's 'irony.'"

Looks like there are a lot of SY reaction videos on YouTube. Whether they are good/qualified, idk.

yeah, i was gonna say this is a whole subgenre
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bOxB41ZCbg

which leads to
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9ROT_o4q30

and then hopefully kids react to motley crue reacting to kids reacting to motley crue next year

i want to see kids reacting to the Shreds videos

Watch Bob Saget Rate The Beach Boys With John Stamos, Indie Rock, and College

I never watch these, but kinda intrigued by this one... worth it?

Ok, turns out he has no idea what indie rock is, lol

relatable

has anything received a 9.9?

their original review of homogenic was a 9.9

also Miles Davis - Live/Evil, reviewed by Ryan Schreiber!

http://web.archive.org/web/20021021010024/www.pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/d/davis_miles/live-evil.shtml

sh*t, c*t

I knew they lost substantial traffic post-acquisition but they’ve had steady growth in the past year.

https://traffic.alexa.com/graph?o=lt&y=t&b=ffffff&n=666666&f=999999&p=4e8cff&r=1y&t=2&z=30&c=1&h=150&w=340&u=pitchfork.com

also Miles Davis - Live/Evil, reviewed by Ryan Schreiber!

http://web.archive.org/web/20021021010024/www.pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/d/davis_miles/live-evil.shtml

I was worried this wouldnt be written in the classic sex-obsessed house style of early pfork, but then I got to the end of the first sentence.

Selena Gomez Buys a Sturgill Simpson CD in New Jim Jarmusch Movie Clip: Watch

Jenny Lewis Launches Signature Weed Strain

big news day

Once again she sings instead of merely naming the track: “Is this love, is this love, is this love, is this love that I’m feeling?” Not a bad choice. Because when you listen to Carly Rae Jepsen, it usually is.

what usually is? Love that you're feeling? Or a bad choice?

I feel like the writing on this website gets shittier and less coherent every day

it's sloppy writing, but it's also very clear that the writer is saying "love that you're feeling"

This adult's reaction to old Tommy Lee reacting to young kids reacting to old Motley Crew is pretty positive.

Now here’s a headline:

Synth Repairman Accidentally Gets High By Touching LSD Left in Vintage Buchla

He makes the kind of music you drop everything and anything to listen to. I was at a birthday party in the middle of the afternoon and left the scene to retreat into a bathroom to let Jai’s coos and wash reverb to flood my ears.

Imagine.

It's easy if you try.

afternoon birthday parties are pretty awesome

jai's coos

https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/pavement-terror-twilight/

The core paragraph or so of this review — where it actually discusses/evaluates individual tracks — is good; it makes good points, has some good/perceptive lines. But the rest of it is sooooo long, it’s exhausting. Especially with all those hyperlinks, it feels like he gathered every available scrap of online info about this album into a mammoth research project.

Blur’s Graham Coxon famously credited Pavement with inspiring his band to ditch Britpop for lo-fi noise on their caustic 1997 self-titled release.

I don't know how famous this crediting was. I'm going to check Bartlett's FQs.

I remember that being said at the time (and I didn’t follow Blur specifically, guess the quotes just sort of circulated in the rock press...)

yeah, that was a big thing in the uk music press at the time for sure

i hope jai's coos were in e

Blur was caustic?