OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

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can we start one of these for weed writing

What name evokes so much? That of a world leader, a humanitarian or Nobel laureate? That of a sports legend, inventor, philanthropist or explorer? No. Once thought to be the most simple and humble of plants, it's now believed to be the most complex in Mother Nature’s entire garden. In existence since pre-biblical times, its cross-continent voyage began in Asia thousands of years ago, when a Chinese emperor discovered and unleashed its healing powers. Whether you use the Latin name of science, "cannabis," the U.S. government-imposed name, "mari(h)juana" or the 100-plus slang terms, its scope, breadth and reach is profound.

maura, Thursday, 25 April 2019 02:37 (six months ago) link

whoa i never knew cannabis was latin for science

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 25 April 2019 02:45 (six months ago) link

so much evoking

mookieproof, Thursday, 25 April 2019 02:49 (six months ago) link

It is Mother Nature’s Steve Jobs; celestially conceived to meet our bodies' built-in demand.

jmm, Thursday, 25 April 2019 02:59 (six months ago) link

can we start one of these for weed writing

I feel like "Vichy LA Weekly hires" is a separate category all of its own

blokes you can't rust (sic), Thursday, 25 April 2019 12:35 (six months ago) link

The cannabis industry has its own "F" word. Instead of the letter "F," the letter is "H," and the word is "high."

mick signals, Thursday, 25 April 2019 20:05 (six months ago) link

Loving that LA Times piece

Friday’s set offered a mix-and-match roll of contemporary rock varietals. Lemony new wave. Cherry-flavored ballads. Pineapple pop songs. Lime rockers.

Yum!

One Eye Open, Thursday, 25 April 2019 20:14 (six months ago) link

what the flying high?

Evan, Thursday, 25 April 2019 20:15 (six months ago) link

who the hell thinks cannabis is a simple, humble plant?

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 25 April 2019 20:23 (six months ago) link

two months pass...

This feature reads like it was begrudgingly written as a favor to someone:

In Carly Rose’s knockout of a debut single, this sly young pop singer describes her burning desire to disappear with somebody from an overcrowded gathering.

“I don’t want to dance, so just finish your Bacardi,” she moans over the creeping, bottom-heavy groove of “Birds & Bees,” which came out last month and quickly racked up nearly a quarter-million streams on Spotify and YouTube. And just before she rhymes "party" with the name-brand rum, she drops an unprintable modifier — two syllables, starts with F — to show how serious she is about leaving.

(.....)

stan by me (morrisp), Wednesday, 3 July 2019 05:20 (four months ago) link

An unprintable modifier, you guys! Pop music is sure crazy these days, lol

stan by me (morrisp), Wednesday, 3 July 2019 05:21 (four months ago) link

I too am faggot about leaving

flamboyant goon tie included, Wednesday, 3 July 2019 05:31 (four months ago) link

Felcher

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 3 July 2019 05:37 (four months ago) link

lmao fgti

space invaders are smokin penises!!!! (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, 3 July 2019 06:03 (four months ago) link

I checked out the song; it’s a few degrees better / more interesting than the description makes it sound, IMO (another failure of the writing).

stan by me (morrisp), Wednesday, 3 July 2019 06:30 (four months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Wow, you know, I’m really excited about Alex Cameron (musician) and I couldn’t imagine that somebody could be presented with his brilliant and rich and ripe-for-analysis body of work so far and instead rip it to shreds while doing a diarrhea

https://www.beat.com.au/the-best-and-weirdest-alex-cameron-lyrics/

flamboyant goon tie included, Friday, 26 July 2019 12:36 (three months ago) link

three weeks pass...

you will not trick me that easily, maura

brigadier pudding (DJP), Tuesday, 20 August 2019 17:25 (three months ago) link

wow that was awful, and I love Neil Young

L'assie (Euler), Tuesday, 20 August 2019 17:39 (three months ago) link

You weren't kidding, huh. This a masterclass in abysmal writing.

pomenitul, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 18:14 (three months ago) link

Also, lol @ '“I really wish this interview hadn’t happened,” he later said, seeming more downhearted than angry.'

pomenitul, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 18:16 (three months ago) link

That’s another thing about Young that rescues him from nihilism and self-pity: He does stuff, even if what he does sometimes seems loony.

cool opinion

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 20 August 2019 18:19 (three months ago) link

One thing I really do appreciate about Young is all the....ugh what do you call it (*gestures*) you know “stuff” he does.

omar little, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 18:24 (three months ago) link

From the comments section:

This article is painstakingly beautiful. If you have a child that is atypical in your life, it will pierce your soul. This sentence at the end made me cry.
“His lesson Is that everything human is shot through with imperfection. Filtering that out doesn’t make us more perfect; it makes us sick. He’s a great artist, which means that he sees and hears more, which may make him a loon, but is also why he is still worth listening to.”
The way David Samuels wrote this article conveys such love; love of Neil’s music, love for his son, love for something we’ve lost in streaming music.
Thank you, thank you for reminding us that music touches our souls, hearts, and brains and that to dumb it down is just plain dumb!!!

pomenitul, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 18:34 (three months ago) link

comments are awful as well, do not wade in

global tetrahedron, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 18:49 (three months ago) link

Neil Young is crankier than a hermit being stung by bees. He hates Spotify. He hates Facebook. He hates Apple. He hates Steve Jobs.

Neil, I have some good news for you my dude.

triple-washed (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 20 August 2019 18:55 (three months ago) link

lol they shit on Zuck only to praise Edison further down

triple-washed (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 20 August 2019 19:02 (three months ago) link

this article is now frontrunner for the thread title imo

sleeve, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 19:07 (three months ago) link

His ire this afternoon, directed through me and my notebook and my Sony digital recorder,

I was hoping to soothe the old rock star, who spoke to me through the headphones of my Sony Walkman at the moments I felt most isolated and alone.

someone tell me at the end they reveal this is an advertorial for sony

american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, 20 August 2019 19:19 (three months ago) link

no such luck, but did you hear that "high-end consumer digital-sound-recording systems" were made by companies such as Sony?

maffew12, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 19:31 (three months ago) link

His music helped shape the melodic-depressive post-Beatles catalog of Pacific Northwest angst, which was brought to its songwriting peak by Kurt Cobain of Nirvana and Elliott Smith, the Irving Berlin and Cole Porter of suicidal ideation and addiction. Cobain committed suicide on April 5, 1994. Smith, who was an even more intimate songwriter, in the same catchy, brilliant, self-pitying vein, stabbed himself through the heart and bled to death on Oct. 21, 2003, in an apartment in Los Angeles. While the circumstances of both deaths are disputed by conspiracy theorists, Neil Young is indisputably still here.

sorry this is outstandingly bad

american bradass (BradNelson), Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:10 (three months ago) link

the Irving Berlin and Cole Porter of suicidal ideation and addiction

idk this is p hilarious

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:13 (three months ago) link

anything goes

Mordy, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:13 (three months ago) link

Kurt Cobain jazz hands

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:15 (three months ago) link

sirius should be simplified to 3 stations: pre-Beatles, Beatles, and Radio Margaritaville (post-Beatles)

triple-washed (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:21 (three months ago) link

post-Beatles catalog of Pacific Northwest angst

I think my favorite part of this is the implication that between 1969 and 1989, *nothing* happened in the Pacific Northwest

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:25 (three months ago) link

like, why are the Beatles even in that sentence?

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:25 (three months ago) link

i'm fascinated by the choice to wait until the fifth time he mentions elliot roberts, 20 paragraphs in, after describing elliot's porch, after watching tv in elliot's living room, and after elliot orders pizza for everybody, to point out that elliot is not currently alive.

fact checking cuz, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:31 (three months ago) link

the reveal happens in this sentence, a masterpiece of bad editing:

His second studio album — and first with his longtime band Crazy Horse — “Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere,” is my personal favorite Neil Young record, and was also Elliot Roberts’s favorite (he died two months ago).

fact checking cuz, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:32 (three months ago) link

last sentence from Brad's quotation is also a tour de force of bad independent clause usage

rob, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:33 (three months ago) link

Courtney Love paid the Mentors dude to kill Kurt, but Neil Young is still alive

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:38 (three months ago) link

Biggie killed Elliot Smith

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:39 (three months ago) link

he killed elliot roberts, too, iirc

fact checking cuz, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:40 (three months ago) link

How in the world does that sentence quoted by fcc even make it through the lightest of editing?

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:41 (three months ago) link

While the circumstances of both deaths are disputed by conspiracy theorists, Neil Young is indisputably still here.

this is, indisputably, an amazing way to make a non sequitur immune to criticism for being a non sequitur

j., Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:41 (three months ago) link

what's with all these comments about how ppl don't know how music is supposed to sound bc they only listen to streaming? i go to concerts regularly, play piano every day -- i think i know what music is supposed to sound like. i also use spotify extensively. it sounds fine.

Mordy, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:44 (three months ago) link

pbbbbbblt

Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:46 (three months ago) link

that's why it's so bad, it's even ruined your ears for real music, ruined. ruined!!

j., Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:47 (three months ago) link

Soon as I saw the thread revive, I knew it was this article. One gem is his description of Mozart as "perhaps the most perfectly structured and at the same time most effortlessly fluid sound that human beings have ever made." [fart joke redacted]

dinnerboat, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 20:50 (three months ago) link

While the circumstances of both deaths are disputed by conspiracy theorists, Neil Young is indisputably still here (Elliot Roberts died two months ago).

mick signals, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 21:09 (three months ago) link


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