why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

lol tracer

"He tells Parisians he shares their pain - IN FRENCH" - so he shares their bread, then?

lol!

MORE 👏 WOMEN 👏 WAR 👏 CRIMINALS 👏

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/58419692_2257450447646511_8303455437223624704_n.jpg?_nc_cat=106&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=b650d010814e683d047885e560cc9dd8&oe=5D76C31C

lol, this is going to be a trainwreck
https://techcrunch.com/2019/04/30/facebook-dating-secret-crush/

https://scontent-frt3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/58381053_659943941127321_3356062572938788864_n.jpg?_nc_cat=109&_nc_ht=scontent-frt3-1.xx&oh=c4c9c2f94e9685019d6d369c1ca424e7&oe=5D6D2C6E

At least two of these girls are clearly making a number of non-positive judgements.

that meme is the equivalent of the now-defunct ilx TITTWIS posts. you love being around positive people? how very nice for you. tell me more.

I love being around gram-positive bacteria.

I love being around HIV-positive people.

I love being around positive battery terminals.

proton pals

https://scontent.fhuy2-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/60010466_2335189730028690_3242713721662865408_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_ht=scontent.fhuy2-1.fna&oh=6b2351a0e7f49cabddca2cb7ae9763bf&oe=5D5DC69B

jesus

actually i'd like to go on record as not ever knowing what the fuck i'm doing, thx

off the top of my head I cannot think of a single person who knows exactly what the fuck they are doing

i could elaborate on this story but i'm not gonna but i mean imagine liking this

stop being so fucking forgiving xp

the quality of mercy knows exactly what the fuck it is doing

https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/64440121_1288828511279087_1428083575177084928_n.jpg?_nc_cat=103&_nc_oc=AQlQOwgp0QHXT9PiSpKdXvR3Z4WsfsdDeEodsk4XTSmBubmEHLnokZAxxyj0r-cJLyw&_nc_ht=scontent-lax3-2.xx&oh=58a6b27492c24700ee1e383b5eeedf27&oe=5D7E00FA

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/relationships/if-you-cant-handle-me-at-my-worst-you-dont-deserve-me-at-my-best-declares-sociopath-20181214180601

Ok, I'll think about single use plastics if you think about the two transatlantic holidays you take each year.

The FaceApp hysteria is the dumbest freakout in recent memory.

Based little in fact, shared by 90% of my friends

the funny part is people are posting it on Facebook which has years and years of pictures, records of what you did and where you went

bUt ItS RuSsIaN

"If you don’t know what’s going on, Face App is a Russian app that has been proven to turn on your camera when you aren’t using it as well as go through your pictures. Because it is an app that you download through an App Store they will be able to match that data with your personal information. The face scanning nature of the app probably also means they are trying to start tracking Americans if they enter the country."

This is an intelligent person who is so incredibly on point on a wide variety of sociopolitical topics and then they write this Weekly World News fodder

unfriend
delete facebook

Nuke from space to be safe

Also Cats sucks

^ this is a pretty much perfect final message. do it!

It's 2019, we're all gullible idiots now. And that's OK.

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/47276347_565164730615381_8555368300064800768_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_oc=AQmFkYMSMHH7ItAHyMhbn9KqUkrztat1GaDN_v2lYpiHlvVx758lMCwKApu4REY5hGs&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=ef1f33ebca0e9d0fcc30573931aabf6f&oe=5DB36821

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/67299726_2065351877103382_5864453542592380928_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_oc=AQmyX8ha9qflzkF5npwcqYBur-0wbYd1zvoy9nTPOy3LcDs3T_TKBWdH_mGvRd49uMc&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=c0580652e0ddb75b2009046c34fe655c&oe=5DB33E5E

THEREFORE TRUMP 2020

Ok lol at “Well, our kids are assholes”

hard to imagine that the person who wrote this could raise asshole kids but hey, millennials, what are you gonna do amirite

https://scontent.fhlz2-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/11016819_721099204661829_2732389479366159709_o.jpg?_nc_cat=107&_nc_oc=AQkEIXxgee46-s-jAmwuUvhT1dL5qXXBER03BBoc7lD1jfKEE2kOtZ698RTqxCxGgo4&_nc_ht=scontent.fhlz2-1.fna&oh=35b756641e634bafb383351add2eb84a&oe=5DDAAFAD

hmmm yeah that's gonna be a no from me dawgi

am i supposed to sue someone named fitzmaurice? i mean i will

So, if I understand Sue F. correctly, she's essentially saying that in her view there is no such thing as offensive speech or an offensive FB posting. Well, I have a few choice words for her.

#liveinthemoment
#neverforget

FOR ME AND MY FAMILY
PERSONALLY, SEPTEMBER 11
WAS A REMINDER THAT LIFE IS
FLEETING, IMPERMANENT, AND
UNCERTAIN. THEREFORE, WE
MUST MAKE USE OF EVERY
MOMENT AND NUTURE IT
WITH AFFECTION,
TENDERNESS, BEAUTY,
CREATIVITY, AND LAUGHTER.

< blurry photo of statue of liberty >

- DEEPAK CHOPRA

SUCCESS.COM

https://scontent-dfw5-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/67276410_2285798551749931_5415900781834403840_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_oc=AQnhvXehDVGpK65Xz6124-H6agcIvzuAicb0erkZjt2n2nUYqBgGPy-wB-RcfHwO7Uw&_nc_ht=scontent-dfw5-1.xx&oh=6d95bcc2bdca765fb76d0419b915e9b9&oe=5E34F699

and that teacher.... was bob marley

how did she say that stuff in all caps tho

rising cadence as she gripped the podium and spittle flecked her chin

She wrote 9x1=7. Her students laughed. Nevertheless, she persisted.

“OK BUT THEN WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS FOCUSING ON ME YELLING AT YOU??” yelled one troubled boy

Everyone gets an F

and that teacher...was Subway Jared

Lol at the idea of a math teacher thinking his students should be proud of his ability to do 90% of his multiplication tables correctly

I posted the gif on my FB, everybody clowned it but of course i got one "aw i find it lovely :((("

"I took dozens of sips from my beer and no one congratulated me on it, yet when I poured the beer all over my lap everyone laughed."

or, as it's more commonly explained in bad joke parlance: "but you fuck ONE monkey..."