lol. enjoyed all of these updates. this might be common, but our 3 year old now measures long time periods in "naps". so if I say "so and so is happening in 3 days," he always responds "oh, 3 days" as if he understands but then always follows up with "...how many naps?" and i love it.
― Fictitious Business Name: (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 19 April 2019 21:52 (five years ago) link
the other day my 10-y-o looked like he could barely keep his eyes open. i'm like "you ok over there?" and he looks over at me wearily and mutters "man's tired"
― Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 19 April 2019 23:12 (five years ago) link
our son has been doing this thing which is killing me in both senses. i'll say something, and he'll add something like, "...dadda said mysteriously, as he loomed over his son."
or just now, I said, "You'll need a shower tonight for sure," and he responded, "I need a shower???! he said, taken aback." sometimes this goes on for like five minutes and i have to escape to another room.
"Stop doing that!"
"....dadda cried out, desperately!"
― omar little, Tuesday, 23 April 2019 01:10 (five years ago) link
hahahaha thats next level. How old is he!?
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 23 April 2019 04:13 (five years ago) link
I love it.
― DJI, Tuesday, 23 April 2019 04:13 (five years ago) link
More infuriating than funny: mr 11 has said endlessly he doesnt want any easter chocolate cos "chocolate is my enemy!" (he has celiac and a few years back absolutely WOLFED down so many sweets he spewed, so hes kinda gone off them"
OK I sez to myself, I'll just get a couple of token Elegant Rabbits or something and pop them in the fridge for the lads.
Come sunday morning Mr11 comes downstairs asking "is it safe to come down?" "err...why wouldnt it be?" "aren't you putting out all the eggs to hunt"
...you mean the eggs YOU DIDNT WANT? *ragequits easter*.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 23 April 2019 04:15 (five years ago) link
trayce, that reminds me of someone who said 'Hell hath no fury like a toddler whose been given exactly the sandwich he asked for.' Of course, at 11 it's even more enraging.
Omar, that is the best thing i have ever heard.
― And according to some websites, there were “sexcapades.” (James Morrison), Tuesday, 23 April 2019 11:25 (five years ago) link
Did I mention Elisabeth doesn't want kids? "Push a baby out of my bum? No thanks. I'll adopt puppies instead."A few months later:"As Ophelia doesn't want kids, I'll have a baby. It's important to continue the family name."Which will be hard because:"Sex? Ewwww. It's two naked people twerking against eachother."
― nathom, Tuesday, 23 April 2019 14:49 (five years ago) link
I was saying to Ophelia how great it was the school recommends continuing Latin & Old Greek. "Your grades are very good!"Ophelia:"It doesn't mean bec I have good grades, I love Greek."Ok. Lol.
― nathom, Tuesday, 23 April 2019 14:51 (five years ago) link
hahaha
― buttigieg play the blues (crüt), Tuesday, 23 April 2019 14:52 (five years ago) link
Text from my wife: "Opal is climbing at the playground and she just pointed at the bench and said “can you do me a favor, sit over there”"
― dan selzer, Wednesday, 24 April 2019 14:47 (five years ago) link
surved
― Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 24 April 2019 15:54 (five years ago) link
I was telling my 4 year old about the Greek Gods. He climbed up the tree in our front yard and yelled, "I am Ohius, God of the Trees. When I throw leaves up I am happy. When I throw leaves down I am angry."
― We were never Breeting Borting (President Keyes), Wednesday, 24 April 2019 16:04 (five years ago) link
I don't know if this came from cartoons or other kids or cartoons filtered through other kids, but lately my 4 year old has started to yell BOOYAH! and very flavor flav-esque YEAAAHHH BOOOYYYYYY!s when he gets excited about something. The former is a phrase my wife has hated forever so I laugh my ass off that he's adopted this.
Not necessarily saying things but he's also been asking to hear Roger Miller's "Do-Wacka-Do" lately and alternates between listening intently to the lyrics and dancing maniacally.
― joygoat, Wednesday, 24 April 2019 16:52 (five years ago) link
My daughter got BOOYAH from Cyborg on Teen Titans Go. But she also got "The Light Begins to Shine", so it's not all bad.
― And according to some websites, there were “sexcapades.” (James Morrison), Thursday, 25 April 2019 23:46 (five years ago) link
'Hell hath no fury like a toddler whose been given exactly the sandwich he asked for.'
LOL yes, I love those irrational tantrums.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Friday, 26 April 2019 01:58 (five years ago) link
Opal at dinner holding a piece of arepa at the end of her fork. “It’s like a dinner popsicle”.
― dan selzer, Saturday, 27 April 2019 22:16 (five years ago) link
was talking to my 3 year old about dinosaurs and asked her if she knew where baby dinosaurs came from and she immediately answered "from the forest of wolves"
― silverfish, Saturday, 27 April 2019 23:58 (five years ago) link
That’s a Mountain Goats song iirc
― don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Sunday, 28 April 2019 00:58 (five years ago) link
kids say the darniellest things
― what if bod was one of us (ledge), Sunday, 28 April 2019 21:16 (five years ago) link
"It's not my fault! You raised me!!"
― ArchCarrier, Monday, 29 April 2019 18:23 (five years ago) link
I tell my parents that sometimes and I'm 30
― don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Monday, 29 April 2019 18:33 (five years ago) link
Some time ago I made some reference to going to work and "bringing home the bacon".
Now opal constantly pretends to go to work. She picks up some kind of bag, really any bag, and says "I have to go to work. Have to bring home the bacon" and she walks to the front door, waits 10 seconds then comes back and says "I back, I bring home the bacon".
This morning she said "I bring home the chicken". Guess she wasn't in the mood for bacon.
― dan selzer, Wednesday, 1 May 2019 19:40 (five years ago) link
omg thats too cute
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 1 May 2019 20:54 (five years ago) link
aw.
― ☮ (peace, man), Wednesday, 1 May 2019 21:01 (five years ago) link
wife is away today, just me and Opal. At lunch we're finishing these peanut butter and jelly roll-ups from the fridge. Opals "goes oh there's jelly too" and I say "it's PB & J" and she says "what's PB &J" and I say "that means Peanut Butter and Jelly, instead of saying Peanut Butter and Jelly, you can say PB & J"
Fast-forward a few hours, I need to go to the bathroom and Opal insists on joining. She really doesn't like being left alone that much especially if we go to the bathroom. We're going to be potty training soon so we figure it's educational anyway. She comes in and sits down and says "what're you doing?" and I say "I'm going to the bathroom" and she says "pee-pee"
and then she yells out "Pee-Pee and J!"
Sorry if that's TMI but Pee-Pee and J is one for the books I figured.
― dan selzer, Saturday, 4 May 2019 23:52 (five years ago) link
Our 3yo apparently memorises the books we read her and likes to correct us when we take even minor liberties - "She gave it her coat to keep warm" "No to STAY warm!" - so I was reading "Peace at Last", about a bear who can't sleep:
Me: "The hour was late"Her: "No the OWL was late!"
I started to explain then saw there was an owl in the picture and thought fuck it :)
― The Pingularity (ledge), Tuesday, 28 May 2019 10:54 (four years ago) link
Opal does that too but usually when I make changes on purpose to add her name. We’re potty training and we’re trying to get her to drink plenty of water and the other day said “drink up it’s hot out and you have to stay hydrated” and she said “like a bear?”I.e. hibernating.
― dan selzer, Tuesday, 28 May 2019 14:07 (four years ago) link
I took our 4yo to a Marvel Comics exhibit and there was some stuff there about Captain America fighting Nazis. My son started asking lots of questions about Nazis, like, "Does Hitler hit people?" Then we sat down to eat in the dining area and he yells out, "DONALD TRUMP IS A NAZI!"
― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Thursday, 13 June 2019 14:43 (four years ago) link
yr kid otm
― L'assie (Euler), Thursday, 13 June 2019 15:18 (four years ago) link
Opal's favorite thing is whenever I say something like "Mommy will be home in no time" or "your snack will be ready in no time" she says "my snack will be ready in YES time"
― dan selzer, Thursday, 13 June 2019 15:23 (four years ago) link
My dad used to say "no way José" (except he said it "ho zay") and I would say "yes way José". At least one time I asked for a coke and he said "no way José" and I said "yes way Coke way". Kids are linguistic innovators.
― don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Thursday, 13 June 2019 15:55 (four years ago) link
my mother in law used to said that "no way José" was cussing & so my wife couldn't say it when she was a kid. moms say the darnedest things.
― L'assie (Euler), Thursday, 13 June 2019 15:57 (four years ago) link
6yo daughter picks up her mum's cup of tea. "Mmm, tea. So flavourless, so refreshing!"
― And according to some websites, there were “sexcapades.” (James Morrison), Thursday, 13 June 2019 23:43 (four years ago) link
otm
― don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Friday, 14 June 2019 01:25 (four years ago) link
Hahaa!
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Friday, 14 June 2019 15:19 (four years ago) link
after getting a bit wet while walking near the ocean:"I've got ocean all over me!"
― silverfish, Tuesday, 9 July 2019 23:08 (four years ago) link
we took Opal to the beach a few years ago. She wasn't into going in the water but we got her close to the edge, then as the wave came up she ran back up the beach, laughing and yelling "it's following me!"
― dan selzer, Wednesday, 10 July 2019 14:25 (four years ago) link
both cute and slightly horror-movie-ish
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 14:36 (four years ago) link
speaking of"hunger games? isn't that pretty scary?""oh it's a 12, daddy it's fine""but you're 10. and Paul's 7""it's ok. i like killing."
― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 17:12 (four years ago) link
The life cycle of a human, according to my five-year-old:
1. Baby2. Kid3 .Adult4 .R.I.P.5. Zombie6. Ghost7. Ultraplasm8. Space Ranger
― Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Thursday, 11 July 2019 05:08 (four years ago) link
agree
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 11 July 2019 05:15 (four years ago) link
When he was three:
[listening to Beethoven's violin concerto]
Kid: "Who is singing this?"Me: "This isn't a singer's voice, it's a violin"Kid: "I thought it was a dolphin"
― Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Thursday, 11 July 2019 05:23 (four years ago) link
I just learned that Opal said she had basil eyes like momma. She has brown eyes like me. Nicole has hazel eyes. Nicole tried to correct her but she screamed “no I have basil eyes”
― dan selzer, Friday, 12 July 2019 00:29 (four years ago) link
🎶she’s got basil fawlty eyes 🎶
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 13 July 2019 19:04 (four years ago) link
“Put your slippers on”“Where is them?”
― calstars, Saturday, 13 July 2019 20:06 (four years ago) link
me to 4yo after what appeared to be a nice playdate with Ollie: did you have fun playing with Ollie?4yo: yes. I never want to see him again.
― kinder, Thursday, 25 July 2019 16:12 (four years ago) link
ha!
― And according to some websites, there were “sexcapades.” (James Morrison), Friday, 26 July 2019 01:59 (four years ago) link
haha
― estela, Friday, 26 July 2019 03:46 (four years ago) link