US Politics April 2019 Thread: 'I find that pretty hard to believe'

wrong thread sorry

The differences are stark between what Attorney General Barr said on obstruction and what Special Counsel Mueller said on obstruction. #MuellerReport

— Nancy Pelosi (@SpeakerPelosi) April 18, 2019

I suppose the reporter did back flips paraphrasing for the sake of the lede:

White House counselor Kellyanne Conway on Thursday compared special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation to a “political proctology exam” on President Trump who emerged from the metaphorical procedure unscathed.

And he will still regardless be dead long before most of us.

His parents lived to the ages of 93 and 88, so he'll be around a while yet. Admittedly as a drooling, senile, nappy-shitting wreck, but maybe someone in that state can still be prosecuted?

They weren’t obese speed freaks. Trump is on borrowed time healthwise

Eastwood's still allowed to make movies so idk

uuuugh, no, am i really here on the morning of the mueller report thinking about whether or not maybe trump will finally get in trouble when he's 90

...Sorry, is Conaway under the impression that proctology generally leaves patients scathed? If so, she might want to encourage her husband to shop around for someone who doesn't reduce his rectum to a blighted ruin.

@2600: OK, we'll probably regret this but we made a *searchable* PDF of the #MuellerReport available at https://2600.com/MuellerReport.pdf. Please share.

I got no hits with "piss"

try "urine" for a surprise hit

Try doodoo if u want the whole doc to open

Ah. TWO impeachment referrals today. https://t.co/sXJGmhMi24

— Ned Raggett (@NedRaggett) April 18, 2019

Knew he was too good to be true.

wtf mayor pete

is it okay to admire the crispness of the Mueller team's prose? I'm reading this shit like it was Bernanos.

Worth reading:

http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2019/04/a-massive-and-unbelievable-crime-on-a-scale-before-unseen

Is there perhaps an untranslatable German word which aptly describes the irony of engaging in full-bore criminality so as to put yourself in a position where you have become immune to the consequences of said full-bore criminality?

That word is likelier to be found in the Russian language.

i've generally been p skeptical that the report would turn up anything actionable but man

kind of agree that they should at least attempt impeachment

Taking a break from working at home (!) -- on paper... I heard spme NPR earlier. So how many besides Sotosyn are actually reading the whole thing?

I mean the thing is...the report seems to seriously call into question the legitimacy of the election. And if he was elected on the basis of super shady shit, I don't know how you can use his current status as a basis for abstaining from SOME sort of action. It's like if someone killed a dude before he was hired at a new job and showed up at his workplace assuming his identity and then all this shit came to light years later and the employer and authorities just throw their hands up and are like, 'well, he signed a contract with the guy's name, what can we even do?'

@dick_nixon these people, sir. these fucking people. pic.twitter.com/8rDZI00UFm

— Grant Alpaugh (@GrantAlpaugh) April 18, 2019

Guys I am not optimistic that Jared Kushner is going to deliver on that whole peace in the Middle East thing. pic.twitter.com/zyaLBkEKX3

— Jim Swift (@JimSwiftDC) April 18, 2019

All we have read so far says Mueller was deeply concerned with intent, as he should be, and took pains to look for mitigation where possible. But he did not find much. It does not so far say intent is almost impossible to prove without access to the witness.

— Richard M. Nixon (@dick_nixon) April 18, 2019

XPs You make him head of the Lucky Strike campaign.

A month ago I said on this board that Impeachment is a Political Act, therefore Pelosi was right to quash impeachment chatter at that moment.

It's April, and, fuck yes, this guy has to go even if it fails. Failure will not "embolden" the GOP. Failure to impeach the kind of lawlessness that would put get one of us burned alive and our smoking ashes sent to prison would be the failure.

I'm legit staggered by the level of criminality that Mueller reveals, and the prose in the report does not weasel. Each section summarizes what he concluded.

Does Pelosi's tweet today mean she is open to pursuing obstruction to possible impeachment, or am I confusing her with "like, 5 people"?

It takes a criminal, etc

To my fellow Republicans: Having read the Mueller report, you may decide that nothing in it requires or justifies the impeachment of Donald Trump. But, having read the report, do you have no qualms about deciding this man deserves our party's renomination as president?

— Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) April 18, 2019

Bill Weld not trending yet

We've all been there… pic.twitter.com/SXTPGuiphZ

— Anton Troianovski (@antontroian) April 18, 2019

Fun to see this confirmed.

Sater wasn’t able to set up any meetings with the Russian government for Cohen so Cohen got frustrated and tried to go direct - by e-mailing Putin’s press secretary at his public contact address, which he misspelled so it didn’t reach him. It’s like emailing ‘Sarah.Sanders @ whitehouse.gob’ while trying to reach Trump.

I don't see Mitch ordering a hit on the Grifter so they can nominate Pence

xxp

I'm reading this shit like it was Bernanos.

come on, you'd read this if the prose was Jackie Susann

^that is the geekiest burn I've ever seen

is it? she was America's Most Popular Writer when I was a tot

these fucking people

“Based on what we have seen to date, going forward on impeachment is not worthwhile at this point. Very frankly, there is an election in 18 months and the American people will make a judgement,” House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer told @DanaBashCNN .

— Manu Raju (@mkraju) April 18, 2019

I have no idea what Bernanos sounds like in English (and to be perfectly honest, he doesn't strike me as a paragon of stylistic crispness, which is to his credit) but as usual, the translator hath been consigned to oblivion. I do agree that Mueller & co.'s prose is delectable.

xps

Just coming to post that xp

Milquetoast motherfucks

Adam Schiff being crisp on the teevee now

come on, you'd read this if the prose was Jackie Susann

― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius

I don't understand
Jackie Susann

A month ago I said on this board that Impeachment is a Political Act, therefore Pelosi was right to quash impeachment chatter at that moment.

It's April, and, fuck yes, this guy has to go even if it fails. Failure will not "embolden" the GOP. Failure to impeach the kind of lawlessness that would put get one of us burned alive and our smoking ashes sent to prison would be the failure.

― recriminations from the nitpicking woke (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, April 18, 2019 2:49 PM (twenty-two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm legit staggered by the level of criminality that Mueller reveals, and the prose in the report does not weasel. Each section summarizes what he concluded.

― recriminations from the nitpicking woke (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, April 18, 2019 2:49 PM (twenty-one minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

all this on one side

"total exoneration!" on the other

in the middle, the first reaction of the political commentator, speaking just after Barr finished his press conference, was (paraphrasing) "it is difficult to see how this is anything but the best possible news for Trump, politically speaking", before the fucking report was even available online

the NPR commentator, i mean. god, i almost drove my car into the lake when i heard that

So they were interested in colluding with Russia but didn’t? All the while hiding a 300 million dollar business deal with the kremlin?

Truly amazing to see the Democrats extend their theory of "People will get mad at us if we do the things we're supposed to believe in" to encompass not just things like poverty relief or healthcare but the basic requirements of the constitution

— Tom Scocca (@tomscocca) April 18, 2019

are there well-placed Democrats at this moment extending this theory?

yeah the media's handling of this has been ridiculous. so much credence in Barr as impartial messenger even up to today's fucking press conference.

the NPR commentator, i mean. god, i almost drove my car into the lake when i heard that

― these are not all of the possible side effects (Karl Malone), Thursday, April 18, 2019 3:16 PM (seven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I heard that, too, and rolled my eyes, but it seemed like they quickly qualified ("we just mean *politically*") and then tried to back away from it. More enraging to me was when they gave airtime to the RNC spokeswoman to engage in blanket denials and whataboutism.

Alfred, I think that's in response to this tweet (already posted)

“Based on what we have seen to date, going forward on impeachment is not worthwhile at this point. Very frankly, there is an election in 18 months and the American people will make a judgement,” House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer told @DanaBashCNN .

— Manu Raju (@mkraju) April 18, 2019

Tom also pointed out that "there is an election in 18 months" is an argument for congresspeople to do nothing for 3/4 of their terms.

it brings me no pleasure to report this, but the mueller report has two spaces after every period

— gamer wife (@bijanstephen) April 18, 2019