star wars 9 grim resignation thread

btw lol @ jj

Y'ALL. #StarWars pic.twitter.com/nnCuKbaaiA

— Andrew Heiss, PhD (@andrewheiss) April 12, 2019

why would you even see this one, Doc

btw this is a sincere question for Morbs, no shade at ppl who see all of these no matter who makes them or how much they suck: I’ve seen 26 fuckin’ James Bond movies

why would you even see this one, Doc

btw this is a sincere question to Morbs, no shade at ppl who see all of these no matter who makes ‘em or how much they suck: I’ve seen 26 fuckin’ James Bond movies

Honestly, though, how much fun would the discussion be if they were all unimpeachably amazing

the worst thing bout star wars now is feverishly hot takes on what scalded star wars bros will take issue with

just imagining the collective groans in the cinema when we get to the Rey vs. TIE Fighter bullfighting in the desert sequence and she completely whiffs with the lightsaber

^^ This is why I've seen all the recent SW and Marvel things at smaller theatres out in the suburbs or someehing, usually days or a week after the films open. Black Panther is a recent exception. I can't deal with the vocal uber fans "awwww"-ing every time a character dies or "wooohooo" -ing whenever someone pops up on onscreen. No, I don't "hate fun" but I really hate overtly vocal expressions of fandom. Makes me cringe. Cosplayers as well.

I went to Dark Knight on opening night and this guy in the crowd timed a loud fart right as the movie started

Actually saw Force Awakens In NYC on its opening night and -- yeah --- that was it.

xpost lollll

It me.

they all arrive at the dunes across from the Death Star debris and go "wow, look at that!" and then carry on to their intended destination: another bar scene

droids keep getting smaller while lightsabers, like hairdryers, remain stuck in the same form factor as they were in the 70s

the lando and chewie bit is actually the first time the post-credits scene has been used in a teaser trailer; JJ still has some tricks up his sleeve, you see

Did he shoot from a script this time or is this gonna be another movie written in the edit bay

Which Beastie Boys song will he play in this one (my money is on 'Girls')

(Probably played over the climactic Rey/Ren fight in lieu of the same old John Williams snoozeage)

Which Beastie Boys song will he play in this one (my money is on 'Girls')

Whills! to keep a journal
Whills! to study the Force
Whills! That's all I really want, is Whills
two at a time, I want Whills
defying oblivion through compassion, I want Whills

ridin cross the land
kickin up sand
first order's on my tail because i'm in demand

one lonely bb-8 i be
all by myself without nobody
the sun is beatin down on my spherical DOME
i have no diegetic function, i wanna go HOME

you cant you wont you dont HOTH

I'm kinda trying to do something with egg man here but it doesn't seem to need any changes

the first few lines are about Lobot iirc

Excuse me, I have to go pitch a Beasties-scored Lobot movie to Disney real quick.

Egg Raid on Lobot

Lololol

Vader will show up in this one surely.

Jar Jar please

Mace Windau

I wonder if Force Ghost Luke will finally get those power converters he was supposed to pick up forever ago.

Toshi Station has his picture behind the counter lest any of their clerks ever gets suckered into ordering shit that some fershlugginer Skywalker won't ever wind up paying for.

I wasn't sure I was spelling Toshi Station correctly but I looked it up and my spelling was 100% correct. Whew!

change thread title to Egg Raid On Lobot imo

Since I didn't go to Star Wars Celebration this year for the first time since 2012, I've been at home this weekend watching all the livestreams and stuff. Not a lot was revealed during the Episode IX panel aside from the title, some stills (new costumes, Naomi Ackie's new character, Rose and Rey talking in what appears to be a Resistance base, etc.). But yeah, I was watching when the Ian McDiarmid thing happened, and the room went pretty insane.

Also watched the livestreams for the upcoming new "The Mandalorian" show, which actually looks pretty good. The sizzle reel and trailer that were shown were blacked out on the stream, but they've leaked to Reddit and some other places. (Recap and photos at https://www.starwars.com/news/swcc-2019-9-things-we-learned-from-the-mandalorian-panel) They're using a lot of practical and in-camera effects and models, and the actors are doing a lot of their own stunts.

Anyway

https://i.imgur.com/8AKM3n7.jpg

With the return of the Emperor, can Luuke Skywalker be far behind?

well they have to establish Jorus C'baoth first

and we'll need to know about his teenage years

not related to the new movie, but got a bit of a scare when I went to look up Boushh on Wookiepedia the other day and was met with a distressingly short article. https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Boushh

Fortunately, I realized that they had divided each page into Canon and Legends tabs: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Boushh/Legends

"Legends" is obviously where the ridiculousness lives.

Episode IX trailer would have been better with Billy Dee's laugh in place of Palpatine's

Only the Legends are real imo.

agreed

With the return of the Emperor, can Luuke Skywalker be far behind?

does abrams have the stones to bring this epoch-spanning, generation-spanning series to a close with the epic reveal of mark hamill playing his own evil clone? only time will tell

If JJ cannot be persuaded, perhaps we will have to enlist the services of JJJJ.

j jonah jameson... junior?

JJ Abra'ams

guys what if jj abrams is the evil twin of j abrams

jj bottom

OMG, it would be the dumbest and most beautiful thing in the world if like Chewbaca and IG-8 and Jar Binks suddenly showed up out of nowhere to confront the clones that had replaced them years earlier.

jj binks

keyser_soze_reveal.gif