NOBODY:
FUTURE DAD: Here, let just take my shirt off too.
https://i.imgur.com/b0T5oxW.jpg
― pplains, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:19 (five years ago) link
"Maybe if I just sorta start creeping away slowly, she won't even notice –"
https://i.imgur.com/Ygdo9CI.jpg
― pplains, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:21 (five years ago) link
"Dammit! She caught me."
https://i.imgur.com/oq1iFi6.jpg
The thing about these that gets me is, like, other people have had a baby before you clods, why are you burdening us with this as if you are the inventors of pregnancy
― moose; squirrel (silby), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 15:08 (five years ago) link
Does this constitute cultural appropriation? A couple decades of whites making fun of African American naming practices culminating in little Lakynns and Tatums running around is somehow both weird and predictable
― rob, Monday, April 1, 2019 6:10 PM (yesterday)
I totally get this line of thought, and 'white people names' are often pretty stupid, but Tatum isn't a new invention by a long shot.
― emil.y, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 15:15 (five years ago) link
damn you're right, apparently it's Old English! but yeah, in terms of those two photos, the girls' names list is considerably more "innovative" than the boys', so gender would unsurprisingly be a big factor here too
― rob, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 17:12 (five years ago) link
Your children should be named for a dead relative, all other options are questionable
― moose; squirrel (silby), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 17:32 (five years ago) link
I find it interesting that Tatum was originally a feminine name (Tatum O'Neal was the first Tatum I ever heard of, and cursory research seems to suggest it skewed heavily female). I think the fact that there's at least one famous man with it as a surname gives it a more masculine feel, and possibly the 'um' ending feels more masculine too??
― emil.y, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 17:52 (five years ago) link
Sorry, this is a bit off the topic of laughing at idiots.
my problem with "Tatum" is it sounds like a name you'd give to a porky puppy
― frogbs, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 17:57 (five years ago) link
Funny how, these (white) US names all sound futuristic and computer-generated, whereas in the part of Europe where I'm from, the trend for parents is to dig out outdated retro names from a hundred years ago.
― nathom, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 20:13 (five years ago) link
‘tatum’ sounds like some kind of heavily-processed potato product
― mr greta t. gremlin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 20:29 (five years ago) link
Tatums, gotta munch’um!!!
― licorice oratorio (baaderonixx), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 17:47 (five years ago) link
*mynch
― a photographer, satanist and ukip voter (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 17:55 (five years ago) link
The straights mormons are at it again
― moose; squirrel (silby), Monday, April 1, 2019 3:21 PM (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfIehCrO4Zs
― ☮ (peace, man), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 18:10 (five years ago) link
lmao
polio coming for all the unvaccinated children of essential oil moms pic.twitter.com/yJIe8hniKX— ΘΎΡΑ (@piramno) April 14, 2019
― arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 15 April 2019 08:40 (five years ago) link
harsh but fair
― don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Monday, 15 April 2019 16:09 (five years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/ZW6SW4n.jpg
― pplains, Wednesday, 23 October 2019 00:52 (four years ago) link
the answer to that question of course is, as always, no
― president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Wednesday, 23 October 2019 01:20 (four years ago) link
i saw this photo right after reading a chapter about the largest cattleyard operations in the world to that point, mid-1800s Chicago, with a description of a well-do-do urbanite lady standing expressionless in a small patch of open space in the middle of the chaos, with blood running underneath her shoes
― It is my great honor to post on this messageboard! (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 23 October 2019 16:06 (four years ago) link
Had she just given birth?
― pplains, Wednesday, 23 October 2019 16:20 (four years ago) link
lol
you know, the text didn't say!
― It is my great honor to post on this messageboard! (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 23 October 2019 16:36 (four years ago) link
it didn't say that she had not NOT just given birth, so
A woman in Iowa died during a gender reveal announcement on Saturday after flying debris from an explosion from what amounted to a homemade pipe bomb struck her, the authorities said on Monday.The woman, Pamela Kreimeyer, 56, died instantly after she was struck in the head by a piece of metal from a device that was intended to reveal the sex of the baby, the Marion County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement on Monday....“Our investigation showed that members of the Kreimeyer family were experimenting with different types of explosive material on Friday and Saturday in an attempt to record a gender reveal that could be posted on social media for friends and family,” the statement said.The family was trying to create a device that could shoot colored powder into the air to share the gender of the baby, the statement saidGunpowder was placed in the bottom of a homemade stand that was welded to a metal base.“A hole had been drilled in the side for a fuse, a piece of wood was placed on top of the gunpowder and colored powder was placed on top of the board,” the statement said. “Tape was then wrapped over the top of the metal tubing, inadvertently creating a pipe bomb. Instead of the gunpowder shooting the powder out the top of the stand, the stand exploded sending metal pieces flying.”One of these metal pieces struck Ms. Kreimeyer in the head, “causing instant death,” the statement said.She was standing with other family members about 45 feet from the device. The projectile that struck her continued 144 yards farther through the air and landed in a field, the statement said.
The woman, Pamela Kreimeyer, 56, died instantly after she was struck in the head by a piece of metal from a device that was intended to reveal the sex of the baby, the Marion County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement on Monday.
...“Our investigation showed that members of the Kreimeyer family were experimenting with different types of explosive material on Friday and Saturday in an attempt to record a gender reveal that could be posted on social media for friends and family,” the statement said.
The family was trying to create a device that could shoot colored powder into the air to share the gender of the baby, the statement said
Gunpowder was placed in the bottom of a homemade stand that was welded to a metal base.
“A hole had been drilled in the side for a fuse, a piece of wood was placed on top of the gunpowder and colored powder was placed on top of the board,” the statement said. “Tape was then wrapped over the top of the metal tubing, inadvertently creating a pipe bomb. Instead of the gunpowder shooting the powder out the top of the stand, the stand exploded sending metal pieces flying.”
One of these metal pieces struck Ms. Kreimeyer in the head, “causing instant death,” the statement said.
She was standing with other family members about 45 feet from the device. The projectile that struck her continued 144 yards farther through the air and landed in a field, the statement said.
― It is my great honor to post on this messageboard! (Karl Malone), Monday, 28 October 2019 17:32 (four years ago) link
but what was the baby’s gender tho
― non-euclidean lenin (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 28 October 2019 17:33 (four years ago) link
"inadvertently creating a pipe bomb" jesus
― president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Monday, 28 October 2019 17:35 (four years ago) link
chef's kiss to that gender reveal
― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Monday, 28 October 2019 17:36 (four years ago) link
Well then.
I guess...
https://i.imgur.com/TCIgxtK.gif
... she wasn't expecting that!
― pplains, Monday, 28 October 2019 18:30 (four years ago) link
something something nuclear family
― mick signals, Monday, 28 October 2019 18:46 (four years ago) link
- "Psst. By the way, the baby's going to be a girl!"
- "Ok, that's great. Listen, I think he's about to do the eulogy..."
― pplains, Monday, 28 October 2019 19:29 (four years ago) link
This may be the worst + funniest gender reveal I have seenhttps://www.instagram.com/p/B4IzA14gTje
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 00:02 (four years ago) link
whatever happened to just posting an ultrasound on Facebook and having half the people guess incorrectly?young people today do everything wrong
― silverfish, Tuesday, 29 October 2019 00:46 (four years ago) link
I mean, if you're looking for a silver lining, this happened during the gender bomb prep, not during the full-on reveal with 36 close relatives standing around it.
― pplains, Tuesday, 29 October 2019 01:37 (four years ago) link
after human cloning is perfected, people will reveal the gender of their baby at a party by murdering their favorite aunt/uncle. then they will feast on smoked michael bay.
― $1,000,000 or 1 bag of honeycrisp apples (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 02:27 (four years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/newdIWa.jpg
― pplains, Monday, 6 January 2020 02:51 (four years ago) link
ahahaha
― kinder, Monday, 6 January 2020 08:22 (four years ago) link
You're right, this is the wrong thread. Let's pray that there's never a right thread for these, ok?
https://i.imgur.com/GykEMsH.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/LoWNXiC.jpg
― pplains, Friday, 27 March 2020 03:16 (four years ago) link
The dang hets don’t know when to take a break
― silby, Friday, 27 March 2020 03:21 (four years ago) link
diabetesdiapersanddeadlifts
― ℺ ☽ ⋠ ⏎ (✖), Friday, 27 March 2020 03:41 (four years ago) link
https://66.media.tumblr.com/cd024949509273abef7bea75f2b6b41c/tumblr_p11ntiU3is1ud05ppo1_1280.jpg
― bam! Free bees! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 1 April 2020 12:32 (four years ago) link
this would make all three series so much better
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 1 April 2020 17:27 (four years ago) link
i socialized my ilx thought on twitter, i'm sorry
This is why copyright sucks. Baby Jesus Sonic with Batman and Shrek as Joseph and Mary, guest starring Wayne Gretzky as the wise man, would be incomparably greater, even if it were poorly executed. SEGA, Disney, and WB wouldn't let it happen because they know they can't compete. https://t.co/mQKK5l4h0H— a load of baloney (@weinventyou) April 1, 2020
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 1 April 2020 17:34 (four years ago) link
what's weird is i don't think most people are recognizing all the Nativity scene references. i guess they're obvious enough that they don't bear mentioning, but i love the subtle inclusion of jesus/sonic, shrek as the virgin mary, batman as best supporting actor in a miniseries.
https://www.reddit.com/r/classic4chan/comments/51aza7/request_batman_embracing_shrek_whos_pregnant_with/
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 1 April 2020 17:36 (four years ago) link
The queen is tethered to my belly inside of a cage. Poetry. pic.twitter.com/KyAJQLEza5— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) July 3, 2020
― rob, Saturday, 4 July 2020 00:48 (three years ago) link
amazing! unbeelievable!
― kinder, Saturday, 4 July 2020 09:31 (three years ago) link
I'm not sure what disturbs me more: the bees, or "Poetry."
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 4 July 2020 13:27 (three years ago) link
the baby's name will be poetree
― contorted filbert (harbl), Saturday, 4 July 2020 13:40 (three years ago) link
Poignant explanation from the Bee Lady (who, btw, is still carazy as hell.)
― pplains, Saturday, 4 July 2020 23:45 (three years ago) link
I.. couldn't see an explanation about why she has bees on her, which to me was the notable thing about the photosMany sympathies and best of luck to her family though
― kinder, Sunday, 5 July 2020 15:57 (three years ago) link
Combo of difficult experiences + love of bees?
I mean, no, it doesn't add up on my calculator, per se...
― pplains, Sunday, 5 July 2020 16:45 (three years ago) link