The most interesting pieces of soccerball trivia you know (that are 100% false)

70. The legendary sloping pitch at Easter Road was actually caused by the one-time St Mirren front pairing of Mark Yardley and Barry Lavety jumping for a high ball at the same time and landing simultaneously, thereby causing a sizeable movement of the tectonic plates underneath Edinburgh.

71. The story recently in the news involving a young goth couple thrown off a bus due to one walking the other around on a lead was a heavily disguised version of a similar story, quashed by Arsenal's legal team, involving Theo Walcott and Jens Lehmann. It is not known which player performed which role

72. Concerned colleagues and fans of Paul Merson recently staged an unofficial testimonial match in his honour, raising £132,000 to help the troubled star fight his financial difficulties. Overcome with gratitude, Merson immediately bet the entire sum on Brock Lesnar defeating Frank Mir at UFC 81.

73. Frank Mir is now expected to challenge Steve Howard at UFC83: Full Throttle.

74. Ever since moving to England to play for Chelsea, Petr Čech has become a massive fan of the Australian soap drama "Neighbours" and is hoping to score a cameo role as a randy Czech backpacker looking to score with some Aussie girls on Ramsay Street.

75. Wayne Rooney has shagged your mum

76. Yakubu was born in 1982.

77. All of the above are 100% false

78. The most viewed Youtube clip in Hungary is of Tamás Priskin lip-synching along to "Anthem For The Year 2000" by Silverchair.

79. Arsene Wenger's real name is Paul Wenger, but, being highly superstitious, he changes his forename in honour of which ever football club he is involved in:

At Strasbourg he was known as Lee Wenger
At Monaco, Hooky Wenger
At Grampus Eight, "Gramps" Wenger

The one exception to the rule was the three years he spent managing AS Nancy.

80. Middlesbrough player Lee Cattermole is a cross between a cat and a mole.

81. Massimo Maccarone was most renowned for his ability to pass ta ball

82. Michael Stewart once got a little crazy but he never yeehaw.

83. Wanderers FC player Charles Alcock, later chairman of the FA, accompanied his zoologist father on a trip to Queensland, Australia and brought back a stuffed wombat which was given pride of place in the club's dressing room. His twin brother Roderick dressed up in a costume resembling the wombat and paraded up and down the field at half time, earning himself a place in the histiry books as the first ever club mascot.

84. Jules Rimet was Lister's room-mate in Red Dwarf

85. Oldham Athletic's original nickname was "The Smiths" but was dropped after the 1983-84 season after Joe Royle was hit in the face by a wayward bunch of gladoli thrown by a group of black clad teenagers.

86. Struggling against loneliness and the language barrier when he moved to Celtic, Stiliyan Petrov passed the time by firebombing burger vans. A tearful Petrov vowed to halt the practice when an overthrown Molotov cocktail cleared his intended target and destroyed Glasgow's only Subway restaurant.

87. Your younger cousin's favourite TV funnyman, Julian Barrett, ran with Cardiff's notorious Soul Crew in the late 90s, and is actually banned from all British football grounds after a string of public order convictions.

88. Wycombe Wanderers' boss Paul Lambert is the voice of the speaking clock.

89. Duncan Bannatyne is really only the public face of his business interests, and all actual decisions relating to his so-called business empire are actually made by the real power there, Reuben Sosa.

90. During Glenn Hoddle's inaugural match as Southampton manager, he was angrily berated by his mother for chewing gum with his mouth open.

91 David Corbett, owner of Pickles, filmed a pilot for a television puppet show to rival that created by his brother Harry H. Unfortunately the nation was not ready for a stop-motion taxidermy show, even if its canine "star" had been a national hero whilst alive.

92. Stelios Giannakopoulos came from Greece and had a thirst for knowledge - he studied sculpture at Saint Martin's College.

93. Jimmy Bullard took Stelios to the supermarket, he didn't know why but he had to start it somewhere, so he started there.

94. Ruud Gullit inserted his erect penis into a football live during coverage of World Cup '98 with slightly embarrassing results.

95. Mido has a penchant for riding a Lambretta scooter and listening to the music of The Animals, The Small Faces and The Who - his monicker came about as he thought it was the most euphonic acronym of "I, Mod".

96. Nicky Butt prefers to call himself Nicholas and doesn't understand why people snigger at his full name.

97. Dave Kitson's unlikely career as a football hero was almost scuppered by his father Mike Batt's insistence that he follow him into the music industry. A youthful Kitson reluctantly contributed the lyrics to the Mansun songs "Railings" and "Everyone Must Win", the latter a bruising plea to his father to let him pursue his own dreams, before Batt relented.

98. Ray Stubbs is widely rumoured to have been the man who first alerted Christian Voice to the existence of Jerry Springer: The Opera.

99. Garth Crooks has some talent

100. Ray Parlour Jr. who you gonna call?

101. Michael Dawson is a failed basketball player. Whenever he is reponsible for a Tottenham defeat he can be found in his bedroom, loudly sobbing apologies to an enormous picture of Patrick Ewing.

102. Andy Cole's rap single "Outstanding" was a number one hit in Latvia.

103. Thanks to US ringtone sensation Soulja Boy, the hot new slang amongst American teens is "Paul Jewell that ho", an act involving taking a girl out to a pleasant meal at Pizza Express.

104. Ron Atkinson became the first person to make a Mansun reference on British television in 1998, commenting that Wimbledon winger Neal Ardley "needs a wide open space - he's freezing in that right-back position". Clive Tyldesley's response: "It'll be Joe Kinnear's Taxloss if he doesn't sort that out..."

105. Highland League club Forres Mechanics were the target of a recent failed buyout by an American consortium led by Chuck Eddy and Frank Kogan

106.

107. This:

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was originally going to be endorsed by Eamon Dunphy, until he was introduced to the joys of Kakuro, a game he now regards as infinitely superior.

108. The Mr Men character Mr Rush was based in every way on Ian Rush. When the Liverpool striker signed for Juventus, the minor British cartoon character-shaped void in the Liverpool dressing room was swiftly filled by Gary Gillespie, whose looks and personality formed the basis for Morph's plasticine pal Gillespie

109. Eamonn Dunphy's famous claim that he wouldn't let Steve Staunton "drive the train to Cork" was a sly dig at the Ireland coach for not returning Dunphy's copy of Microsoft Train Simulator. Dunphy's favourite MTS route is the Hitatsu Line.

110. AC Milan striker Pato takes his name from his favourite ILX poster, King Boy Pato, and actually celebrates every goal in tribute to the former Esteban Buttez by either saying "mah niggah", mentioning some early 80s Manchester bands, or being ignored.

111. Fabio Capello ed il suo delegato Grooverider hanno imparato parlare inglese fluente sopra l'ultimo mese

112. Due to a spelling error, the captain of England's first team under Fabio Capello with be Zesh Rehman.

113. Fabio Capello was disgusted to discover during his first training session with England that Chris Kirkland was the only member of the squad capable of doing press-ups properly, leading him to exclaim "Look at those cunts. The fuck are they doing on their knees?". In order to avoid offence, his translator told the press that Capello had in fact been taken aback by the size of Micah Richards' shoulders.

94. Ruud Gullit inserted his erect penis into a football live during coverage of World Cup '98 with slightly embarrassing results.

114. This incident was recreated by Ian Wright as part of a never-screened ad for his recent 'bloopers' DVD, 'It Really Shouldn't Happen To A Footballer'

115. Southampton's St Mary's Stadium had originally been planned to be built on a purpose built "soccer rig" five miles off the south coast of the Isle of Wight for tax purposes. The plan was abandoned in favour of signing Lee Todd from Stockport County.

116. In 1975, to attract younger fans who would more likely to be getting their news fix at 5.00 in the afternoon, the board at Fulham decided to change the name of their ground from Bosanquet Cottage to Craven Cottage.

117. Willie 'Prince' Albert is not only the oldest professional footballer currently in the game in England, he is also the only man to have scored in every FA Cup final.

118. The white horse of White Horse Final (1923) wasn't white at all, but green.

119. Paolo Maldini attempted to sue singer Scott Walker in 1997 after becoming convinced that the song "Farmer in the City" was a disguised accusation regarding Maldini and an illegitimate son. Maldini dropped the case when Walker personally assured him that the song - and indeed the entirety of 1995's Tilt - was in fact an elaborate criticism of Matt Le Tissier's refusal to leave Southampton for a bigger club.