♫ Your NOMINATIONS for the best songs under 2 minutes poll ♫ (nominations close MARCH 1ST)

Scratch that I feel bad for bending the rules and I think the silence is an important part of it

Oh damn throwback!

Fagatron - Asskickatron (1:48)

Stereolab - Black Ants in Sound-Dust (1:56)
Stina Nordenstam - Proposal (1:57)
Daphne & Celeste - Golden Doldrum (1:57)
Denim - The New Potatoes (1:55)
Mitski - Strawberry Blond (1:54)
Mitski - Class of 2013 (1:50)
Serge Gainsbourg - Ah! Melody (1:47)
Go-Kart Mozart - Plead With the Man (1:36)
Stina Nordenstam - Clothe Yourself for the Wind (1:36)
Sleater-Kinney - The Professional (1:31)
Tori Amos - Mr Zebra (1:07)
British Sea Power - Favours in the Beetroot Fields (1:17)
OMD - This is Helena (1:58)
Prince - Sister (1:32)

Brakes - Heard About Your Band (1:31)
Brakes - Cheney (0:12)
Papa M - Sorrow Reigns (1:19)
tompaulin - Wedding Song (1:48)

I have finally trawled my iTunes and this is my extremely extensive list of things I would like to nominate as a result (for now)

Serena-Maneesh - Un-Deux (1:57)

EMA - Coda (1.01)
Game Theory - The World's Easiest Job (1.33)

so now that the nominations have slowed to a trickle of dozens upon dozens per day, i'm going to go ahead and say

NOMINATIONS DEADLINE: MONDAY, FEB 25, MIDNIGHT (WHATEVER TIME ZONE YOU WANT TO USE)

Aw no, I was hoping it would be Tuesday or Wednesday, give me a little more time to go searching through my brain. But I guess noms can't go on forever, I'll have to just work hard through my hangover tomorrow.

Maura pointed out that Ween's "Pumpin' 4 The Man" isn't on here

Ween "Pumpin' 4 the Man" (1:31)

Captain Beefheart & the Magic Band - One Rose That I Mean (1:53)
The Durutti Column - Beginning (1:41)
e.s.t. - Ajar
Elliott Smith - Georgia, Georgia (1:46)
The Fall - Coach and Horses (1:49)
The Fall - To Nkroachment: Yarbles (1:23)
Felt - Red Indians (1:54)
Felt - Ferdinand Magellan (1:59)
Geisterfahrer - Himmel auf Erden (1:57)
Giant Sand - Thrust (0:35)
Gonzales - Oregano (1:25)

Guided By Voices - To Remake the Young Flyer (1:43)
Harmonia & Brian Eno - When Shade Was Born (1:31)
Hatfield & the North - Bossa Nochance (0:40)
The High Llamas - Cuckoo Casino (0:56)
Idaho - Let's Cheat Death (1:37)
John Cale - Days of Steam (1:58)
Joy Division - Drawback (1:47), RCA demo

Fantastic song that I could nitpick over--how long the actual song is vs. what it's listed as--but I won't bother: the Jamies' "Summertime, Summertime." I know there are a thousand songs just like it that are going to miss by a second because of this gray area.

speaking of, i have been ruminating on the issue of how to decide which songs are eligible, and i'd like to propose something. as henry clay once said, a good compromise leaves absolutely everyone incredibly angry, and provokes entire generations of communities and families to take up arms against those who supported the compromise, fighting to the death.

i have been unhappy with my approach on this up until now, because it's been very inconsistent. when songs are around or just above 2 minutes, i've been listening to them and trying to figure out where the last bit of sound occurs as the song fades out. so maybe a song is technically 2:02 on Spotify but 5 seconds of that are silence, so I'd say it counted. but in practice, that's a very sloppy and time-consuming way to go about things, and each time i do it i feel worse and worse.. and also, there must be tons of songs that are listed at 2:01 and 2:02 that people didn't bother nominating, even though they might have been eligible using my previous method. i don't like that.

so what about this: Spotify will be the decider of what is under 2 minutes. if Spotify says it's 2:00 or longer, it doesn't count, even if the song clearly fades out a few seconds before the 2 minute mark. Spotify has the vast majority of nominated songs, and i'm constantly looking at it because i'm updating the playlist as i go, so that's why i'm going with it as the primary arbitrator of song length. if Spotify doesn't have a song, the fall-back option will be Discogs, which should cover all other songs.

i recognize this will make some people angry. i'll make a list of the songs that will now be excluded from the nominations that i've already cataloged, and i'll continue to list them as i go through the rest of the thread (i'm at around song #500 right now, with many more to go). but really, i don't think it will end up eliminating that many songs. if you look at the spotify playlist so far, almost everything is under 2 minutes, and just a handful are at 2 or above.

anyway, before i begin the mass deletion exercise, i'll wait to see what you all think. clemenza, i'm assuming you will be a target of most of this, because you've been the most vocal about advocating for songs that end up being technically just a hair over two minutes. i hope you'll understand, but i think that just using spotify's data as an arbitrator will make things much more simple and consistent. and if you like, we can do a side poll of songs that are listed as between 2:00 and 2:02 on Spotify, so they're not left out entirely.

what do you all think? sorry for long post but wanted to explain the reasoning

also, anticipating a complaint: if you don't have spotify that's totally cool, just nominate a song if you think it's below 2 minutes. if our music overlord spotify doesn't agree, i will let you all know

Jay Reatard – “Blood Visions” (1:32)
Jay Reatard – “It's So Easy" (1:10)
Jay Reatard – “Not a Substitute” (1:05)

The problem I have with the Spotify thing--and yes, I have a team of lawyers and a stockpile of ammo at the ready--is that it may not be the original version. It could be some mediocre re-recording of "Problems" that the Everly Brothers did for the Gusto label in 1971 to make some well-deserved money, instead of the original Cadence version in 1958. That happens all the time on YouTube, on Soulseek, and in other contexts; I assume it happens on Spotify, too.

If it's 100% guaranteed the original version on Spotify--if that has been checked--and they list it as over 2:00, sure; you get to make up the rules. Even with "Problems," where virtually anything else you check has it listed under 2:00.

xps yeah Karl, ditch this weaselly nonsense, use Spotify as the arbiter

Problems, problems, problems--problems all day long. (1:58 on YouTube!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viS6szdHPXE

that's a very good example, because spotify has "problems" at 2:01, even though it clearly fades out by 1:55.

well, how about this amendment, then. we'll call it the clemenza accord.

if you feel that a song has been unjustly excluded due to a weird version of it being on spotify, kindly produce proof via discogs. for example, for "problems", the following would do:

"hey karl malone, i'm nominating the original version of the everly brothers' 'problems', which is 1:54: https://www.discogs.com/The-Everly-Brothers-Problems/release/2139517";

please, though: use discogs as your secondary source, not something else. i don't really see youtube as a very helpful secondary source, it just raises more questions. most of all, i just want a simple process

That's just Sleeve venting his pathological (and bizarre) hatred for me. I can say this because he file-killed me--my life hasn't been the same since--and he won't read this post.

Fair compromise; thanks for giving some thought to these things.

songs slated to get the axe:

jerry lee lewis - boogie (2:01 on spotify)
kleenex/liliput - Split (2:01 on spotify)
misfits - mommy can i go out & kill tonight? (2:02 on spotify)
super furry animals - do or die (2:06 on spotify)
the plastics - I AM PLASTIC (2:18 on spotify)(i checked Discogs because it appears on couple different releases, but even there, the shortest listed i could find is 2:01)
gloria edwards - lonely girl (2:00)
idlewild - self healer (2:00)
no age - my life's alright without you (2:00)

Hey karl malone, I'm nominating the original version of Jerry Lee Lewis's "Lewis Boogie," which is 1:59 on Discogs: https://www.discogs.com/Jerry-Lee-Lewis-Lewis-Boogie/release/4669109.

(I'm waving the white flag on "Split," though--also 2:00 on Discogs.)

I think the Spotify Protocol is a sound method.

Here are my last batch, 1:30 to 1:59 - do suspect that my nominations are only 50% on Spotify, but it was fun to listen to them anyway.

Serge Gainsbourg - Valse de Melody (1:31)
Serge Gainsbourg - L'appareil à sous (1:33)
Kenickie - J.P. (1:34)
Lung Leg - Chop Chop (1:34)
Pinkfong - Baby Shark (1:36)
Kunt & The Gang - A Picture of The Queen (1:37)
Fanfare Ciocarlia - Sirba de la Lasi (1:40)
Stereolab - Space Age Bachelop Pad Music (Mellow) (1:44)
Pulp - 59 Lyndhurst Grove (1:46)
The Rakes - 22 Grand Job (1:46)
The Yummy Fur - The Career Saver (1:47)
The Male Nurse - Magic Circle In The Sky (1:51)
GFOTY - Don't Wanna / Let's Do It (1:52)
Greg Foat Group - Yeah You Are (1:54)
The Divine Comedy - Festive Road (1:55)
Rezillos - Somebody's Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight (1:56)
The Perfect Disaster - Down (Here I Go) (1:57)

i hereby do declare that "lewis boogie" has been exonerated and shall remain eligible

Marathons – Peanut Butter (1:57)

Hey karl malone, I'm nominating the Soul Queen of Texas version of Gloria Edwards' "Lonely Girl" which is 1:58 on Allmusic: https://www.allmusic.com/album/the-soul-queen-of-texas-the-crazy-cajun-recordings-mw0000244619

The track lengths aren't listed on Discogs so an alternative secondary source was needed! But the version in my iTunes library is 1:57 and Youtube version is 1:55.

Oh and Discogs does actually have the track length on "100 Hits Northern Soul" which is 1:57 and I imagine is the same version (but I can't verify)

https://www.discogs.com/composition/b6ddb019-1bf4-4928-a19d-c4938b16ac65-Lonely-Girl

I feel like I haven't done due (doo?) diligence when it comes to doo-wop. All the stuff I used to throw on mix-tapes 30 years ago, I only have a fraction of that on my hard drive. And I'm too lazy to start pulling records off the shelf and checking times. I looked over a couple of online lists, which mostly consisted of hits. I know there are at least a couple of lesser known songs that would make my list. But again, lazy.

Shonen Knife - Elmar Elevator

Umm is there like a 1000 nominations already? I don’t come in here fo a week...

tyrannosaurus rex - the seal of seasons (1:49)

Oh dang, of course. But also:

Tyrannosaurus Rex - The Throat of Winter (1:57)
Tyrannosaurus Rex - The Misty Coast of Albany (1:41)

Something I was very happy to discover via the Spotify playlist: there's a 24-song Chefs compilation. Had no idea. Also, I vote for the last line of the Chefs' "Food" (which will be very high on my list) as the most perfect last line ever in a short song: "This is the end of the stupid song!"

Rosa Yemen - Larousse Baron Bic (1:38)
Solomon Burke - Stupidity (1:56)
Television Personalities - Parties in Chelsea (1:41)
The High Numbers - Zoot Suit (1:59)
Angry Samoans - Inside My Brain (1:38)
Orange Juice - Intuition Told Me, pt. 1 (1:10)
The Pretty Things - Get the Picture? (1:55)
Small Faces - What’cha Gonna Do About It (1:58)
Small Faces - My Way of Giving (1:58)
The Jam - Boy About Town (1:57)
The Zombies - What More Can I Do (1:39)
The Zombies - I’m Going Home (1:50)
Milton Nascimento - Saídas e Bandeiras Nº2 (1:31)
Lee Dorsey - Great Googa Mooga (1:57)
Lee Dorsey - My Old Car (1:59)
The Clash - White Riot (1:56)
Crystal Stilts - Love is a Wave (1:59)
Kim Fowley - The Trip (1:57)
The Clean - On Again/Off Again (1:46)
The Soft Machine - Why Am I So Short (1:37)
UK Subs - I Live in a Car (1:36)
UK Subs - She’s Not There (1:37)
UK Subs - I.O.D. (1:24)
UK Subs - Kicks (1:52)
Germs - No God (1:54)
The Yardbirds - Psycho Daisies (1:51)

I believe there is a three track per artist limit (re: UK Subs)!

that is true. another late rule addition. as a result of your infraction, by the light of the burning citroën, you must now pick one of those 4 UK Subs songs to be sentenced to death

harsh.

I Live in a Car goes, then (shout out to TV Blues at 2:08).

*sounds of "i live in a car" being strangled in background*

The Loud Family - North San Bruno Dishonor Trip (0.45)
The Loud Family - Sword Swallower (1.45)
The New Pornographers - Another Drug Deal of the Heart (1.28)

Also, can I get a ruling on:

The Clash - White Riot (1:56)

It comes in at an even 2:00 on my iTunes (originally from the lat 90s reissue of the US version of the debut, if that matters), but I'd definitely vote for it if it qualifies.

1:56 on spotify = a-OK

Summer Walker — Baby (1:28)

*sounds of "i live in a car" being strangled in background*

― Karl Malone

monty python - farewell to john denver (0:16)

let's make it a TRUE daily double

VU - Here She Comes Now

2:05 on spotify, so i'm afraid there she goes now

incredible to ctrl+f frogs, see 1300 nominations, and only get here now so close to the deadline

The Frogs - Richard Dick Richards (1:40)
The Frogs - Homos (1:55)

this is what you were born for