That is actually an awesome idea, will support ur kickstarter
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 16 February 2019 23:18 (five years ago) link
I like where you're going with a fool that shows who talked the most. But I fear they will take that as meaning that they contributed the most, which is usually the wrong takeaway.
Can you set it so that the loudest, most domineering people have their volume progressively reduced? Or put their voice through a wacky filter that makes them sound like Tweety Bird?
― Gunther Gleiben (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 17 February 2019 00:14 (five years ago) link
Ha, imagine the time-lapse version shown at the end, just an oblivious guy's face getting bigger while his mouth keeps opening and closing.
― pplains, Sunday, 17 February 2019 00:24 (five years ago) link
Great idea. But my approach in 100% of these meetings is to speak as little as possible while also making sure I have spoken enough to be remembered as having spoken. Just creating the illusion of contribution. And this would mess with that. But I guess I could learn to exploit the way that any noise - paper torn, pen clicked, knee slapped - results in momentary focus, and effect stealth domination.
― Eyeball Kicks, Sunday, 17 February 2019 01:04 (five years ago) link
I'm dying
― frame casual (dog latin), Monday, 18 February 2019 23:57 (five years ago) link
I'm actually dead. I wonder if Karl's idea could be adapted to real life meetings. like, you could hire someone to work a foot pump
― frame casual (dog latin), Monday, 18 February 2019 23:59 (five years ago) link
another version might be to give everyone identical screen space but to adjust the zoom based on speaking time. the dominant speaker might just be a close-up of a mouth or eyeball, while the quiet people would get zoomed out so far that they'd just be a vaguely human shape behind a desk in the background of the office
― Karl Malone, Tuesday, 19 February 2019 00:06 (five years ago) link
my current twitter profile is a plant, and i just made a joke involving fruit on a tree, and it got me thinking that from now on maybe i should only talk about things as if i were a talking plant
― Karl Malone, Saturday, 23 February 2019 00:35 (five years ago) link
self-suck dump truck
― moose; squirrel (silby), Friday, 1 March 2019 01:37 (five years ago) link
A third party database of youtube video ids and titles, for all those (future) threads full of unlabelled broken embeds when the original vids have disappeared.
― what if bod was one of us (ledge), Sunday, 10 March 2019 16:06 (five years ago) link
that's a terrible idea because youtube links will always be there! google is so big and important that surely someone will make sure that all the references to billions of videos made during the early years of the 21st century remain intact!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfdkQGQ5xpA
― but i'm there are fuckups (Karl Malone), Sunday, 10 March 2019 16:09 (five years ago) link
ikr, imagine the loss to history if the thread of manic strumming ends up full of broken embeds.
― what if bod was one of us (ledge), Sunday, 10 March 2019 16:12 (five years ago) link
that would be like if i posted hundreds of awful gifs to a single thread using a photobucket account, and then photobucket got taken over by ancient aliens so i deleted everything in a panic, leaving the original thread in a somehow even uglier state than before
― but i'm there are fuckups (Karl Malone), Sunday, 10 March 2019 16:16 (five years ago) link
A remake of Edward Scissorhands called Edward Tablethands, where the titular character has a pair of cheap Android tablets instead of hands.
― just another country (snoball), Saturday, 23 March 2019 14:21 (five years ago) link
A Streetheart/Honeymoon Suite cover band called Suiteheart
― Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Saturday, 23 March 2019 23:53 (five years ago) link
Does anyone have Randy Newman's email address? I'd like to pitch him my idea for Newman Sings Newman, an album of tunes sung from the perspective of Wayne Knight's irascible Seinfeld character.
― The First Time Ever I Fly @ U Face (Old Lunch), Monday, 25 March 2019 16:31 (five years ago) link
Gotta wait until I get the bad guy from The Fifth Element to offer his version.
― pplains, Monday, 25 March 2019 16:42 (five years ago) link
(Gary) Oldman shouts at clouds
― kinder, Monday, 25 March 2019 18:20 (five years ago) link
To make a book after the fashion of Cory Arcangel’s Working On My Novel (and numerous ilafl compendia) called The Tweet, Now Deleted,
― milkshake chuk (wins), Wednesday, 24 April 2019 15:49 (five years ago) link
https://www.instructables.com/files/deriv/F8C/A9FY/H994TN1Z/F8CA9FYH994TN1Z.MEDIUM.jpgI was gonna post here about making a ski free game where you get to be the yeti but a quick google search decimated that idea. *sigh* Their game doesn't even look like ski free.
― ilm jive mind (FlopsyDuck), Thursday, 25 April 2019 01:38 (four years ago) link
might as well rewrite moby-dick from the perspective of the whale
― difficult listening hour, Thursday, 25 April 2019 02:39 (four years ago) link
moby-dick was due for a reboot
― these are not all of the possible side effects (Karl Malone), Thursday, 25 April 2019 02:46 (four years ago) link
While rummaging through the hard drive of my desktop computer I just found this list of bad Star Trek Voyager fanfic ideas:
― just another country (snoball), Sunday, 28 April 2019 16:47 (four years ago) link
this thread is for terrible ideas
― the late great, Sunday, 28 April 2019 16:57 (four years ago) link
the first two are gold
― the late great, Sunday, 28 April 2019 16:58 (four years ago) link
I’ve sat on this for over a year. I haven’t posted it because it would only work in an emotionless world but here goes:
One of my terrible ideas is for non-traditional marriages to be called marrieges. The federal law would allow marrieges to behave exactly like marriages in every code/law of the land; the only difference (besides the spelling) is that marrieges wouldn’t claim any association with christianity, only a civil union and all that that entails.
It’s a dumb idea in that it caters to anti-gay-marriage Christians and would likely cause many gay people to feel separate but not equal and left out of Christianity. At the same time there is nothing actually stopping gay people from being Christians.... and if there ended up being no unintentional consequences from my terrible merriege idea, it could effectively shut up anti-gay-marriage Christians while providing a tongue-in-cheek way of letting gay people get married without having to hear anti-gay-marriage stuff in the news anymore (eventually).
I’m sure there are many more reasons why this is a terrible idea and I cringe thinking about the kind of feedback I’d get if I were to suggest this is anything but a terrible idea.
― ilm jive mind (FlopsyDuck), Saturday, 4 May 2019 00:26 (four years ago) link
it's just a piece of peper
― kinder, Saturday, 4 May 2019 08:47 (four years ago) link
Patar Pipar pickad a pack of picklad pappar
― just another country (snoball), Saturday, 4 May 2019 09:19 (four years ago) link
A John Foxx era Ultravox tribute band that only play toy keyboards, called Yama!-Ha!-Ha!-Ha!
― just another country (snoball), Sunday, 5 May 2019 13:38 (four years ago) link
Retro futuristic storage units for less than £20 a month: Space £19.99
― koogs, Monday, 20 May 2019 16:03 (four years ago) link
Ok I had this idea earlier for twitter but it belongs here
Concept: eating popcorn at the movies but instead of popcorn it’s a bucket of room temperature tortellini— Evan (@silby) May 21, 2019
― don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Tuesday, 21 May 2019 06:25 (four years ago) link
I assume you're talking about just scooping it out by the handful. I don't know if it's a worse idea with or without sauce. Hmm.
― 5 favrite kind of animal. jaguar. giraffe. (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 21 May 2019 12:01 (four years ago) link
this thread is for terrible ideas, what is this glittering gem of an idea doing here
― michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 21 May 2019 12:03 (four years ago) link
Honestly, I was just trying to be supportive of the effort. Sorry, silby, but you've failed this thread.
― 5 favrite kind of animal. jaguar. giraffe. (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 21 May 2019 12:12 (four years ago) link
http://www.joeydevilla.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/ben-padgett.jpg
gypsum caves. salt caves are old news. book some time in one of our many gypsum caves and reap all of the health benefits of gypsum. each gypsum cave is an empty room with drywall.
― i got bag sauce in my bag (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 23 May 2019 23:15 (four years ago) link
you've been high but you've never been eating pasta with your hands outside of olive garden high
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 24 May 2019 15:27 (four years ago) link
trisha does not explicitly state that you shouldn't dump garth's tortellini breakfast bowl into your purse and take it to the movies
― i got bag sauce in my bag (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 24 May 2019 16:41 (four years ago) link
A supergroup consisting of Jeff Beck; Beck Hansen; and Isaac, Taylor and Zac Hanson. Called, of course, Jeff Beck Hanson.
― mitt the hoopla (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 25 May 2019 16:50 (four years ago) link
A political party called Leave Brexit.Aims clear from the name. Any further elaboration would be flowery waffle for latte-sippers.
― kinder, Monday, 27 May 2019 09:03 (four years ago) link
The ‘Love Trumps Hate’ sign is similarly ambiguous
― i will never make a typo ever again (Karl Malone), Monday, 27 May 2019 14:24 (four years ago) link
Har Mar Superstar tribute act featuring a grandmother from Texas, called Yee Har Grand-mar.
― just another country (snoball), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 18:36 (four years ago) link
'bus radio' - basically the bus equivalent of in-store radio stations in supermarkets. The between-song banter could be relevant to travelling by bus, and there could even be shout-outs and dedications ("this next record is dedicated to the guy at the front with the skateboard - several other people on board think you're an obnoxious loud-mouthed tool").
― just another country (snoball), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 18:56 (four years ago) link
is it broadcast by someone at the back of each particular bus?
― don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 20:08 (four years ago) link
an a.i. jeff ross is dj of each bus
― i got bag sauce in my bag (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 20:11 (four years ago) link
Agile Ed Debevics. basically you hire our scrum masters to take over your Agile office. they are really mean to you in meetings, but they do coordinated dances between the cubes. plus milkshakes.
― Cecil replies to your e-mails (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 30 May 2019 21:43 (four years ago) link
An LP of George Gershwin songs done in a breakcore/bassline style, called "Fascinating Riddim"
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 30 May 2019 22:26 (four years ago) link
Convincing Force MDs to license their biggest hit for use in commercials for a popular dating app.
― Fiat Earther (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 11 June 2019 12:15 (four years ago) link
To cash in on Lion King hype, open a SoCal restaurant specializing in an Italian egg-based dish: Laguna Frittata.
― Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Thursday, 11 July 2019 05:04 (four years ago) link
https://www.opendining.net/menu/4f6fe948428cee8d050ffa93
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Thursday, 11 July 2019 06:36 (four years ago) link