US Politics February 2019: This is one of the great losers of all time.

Mustard needs to set that to a great beat

Our auto-autotuning POTUS.

Sometimes I just need to say it explicitly and really let it sink in: this man is the President of the United States.

sort of the natural end product of that shining occupation

National Emergency, Day 1. A nation holds its breath in terror. Will we survive this? pic.twitter.com/HrmoChgC1e

— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) February 16, 2019

Also....THAT'S the private club that's supposed to be the height of members-only luxury? I've seen breakfast rooms as nice as that at airport Ramadas.

— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) February 16, 2019

United Club is better than that

Nice Vampire Weekend tribute in the next room tho.

Man, that omelette station chef could do us all a favor and take one for the country.

I’d like to think the egg mix has had a distinct scrotumy taste for a while now.

Omelet station has a choice of the finest... ketchups

Goddess, goddesses, gods or God, end this world please

tbf, i think i see tabasco there too.

Did he really declare a national emergency? I didn't get a Presidential Alert about it on my phone.

What's up with his face?

Ark of the covenant opened

We’re all gonna ignore the “walk the walk” poster?

Trying to

fucking nytimes, this is just an enraging subhed at the top of their homepage right now:

Data suggested that the harsh immigration policies may be achieving some of their intended effects.

what are these "intended effects" ny times? what is the INTENTION behind trump's harsh immigration policies - policies like locking up thousands of children? like building a giant medieval wall? if you listen to trump, you hear that it's "because we have tremendous amounts of drugs flowing into the country" or because violent criminals cross the border and attack people.

but the piece goes on to profile a woman named natali who's fleeing a honduran gang who had threatened her. and a guy named elde, who wasn't dissuaded by trump's policies at all and tried crossing the border but failed. "i'll just keep trying" he says. and a 50-year-old woman with her teenage daughter who, when asked if she would try crossing illegally if that were her last option said "yes".

LITERALLY NONE OF THE STATED "INTENDED EFFECTS" OF TRUMP'S POLICIES ARE BEING BORNE OUT IN THESE INTERVIEWS

but all that aside - the ACTUAL "intentions" of trump's immigration policies is just as likely, and arguably more likely, to be aimed at bolstering his poll numbers and to deliver on demagogic promises he made in the 2016 campaign.

so we have a story about some people finding it difficult to cross but basically saying they're going to keep trying anyway because their lives suck so hard where they come from. the headline to that might read: "MIGRANTS SEEK US RESIDENCE DESPITE SETBACKS"

or: "TRUMP POLICIES FAIL TO DETER HARD-LUCK MIGRANTS"

or if you were writing a story about trump's "intentions" with these policies you might write: "TRUMP APPROVAL STUBBORNLY LOW DESPITE EMERGENCY"

but instead?

Data suggested that the harsh immigration policies may be achieving some of their intended effects.

Hear, hear Tracer.

I recently had a minor epiphany of sorts, which I haven't yet been able to put into practice, that I should be challenging the "immigration problem" rhetoric I still occasionally encounter among my acquaintances* by asking them to answer two simple questions: Do you think the "problem" has gotten worse since the Clinton years? And do you know what the Illegal Immigration Reform and Immigrant Responsibility Act of 1996 did?

*Mostly white, Southern old-timers from 12-step meetings, who seem pleasant enough until they get to running their mouths outside in the smokers' circle

Sorry for the HuffPo

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5c67b7a3e4b033a79942d86d?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=main_fb§ion=politics&utm_campaign=hp_fb_pages&__twitter_impression=true

good morning!

"...a thing called the Nobel Prize,”

that's a great link bernard. vox really delivers the goods sometimes.

Nothing funny about tired Saturday Night Live on Fake News NBC! Question is, how do the Networks get away with these total Republican hit jobs without retribution? Likewise for many other shows? Very unfair and should be looked into. This is the real Collusion!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 17, 2019

otm, get it done america

It's true his tweets are funnier than SNL

I totally support Trump and the GOP starting their own competing comedy show.

WASHINGTON — Senator Lindsey Graham, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, vowed on Sunday to investigate whether the top officials at the Justice Department and the F.B.I. plotted an “attempted bureaucratic coup” to remove President Trump from office, and said he would subpoena the former F.B.I. director and the deputy attorney general if necessary.

Mr. Graham was reacting to an interview in which the former F.B.I. deputy director, Andrew G. McCabe, confirmed an earlier New York Times report that the deputy attorney general, Rod J. Rosenstein, had suggested wearing a wire in meetings with Mr. Trump and that Justice Department officials had discussed recruiting cabinet members to invoke the 25th Amendment to remove Mr. Trump from office.

Mr. Rosenstein has disputed the account.

“I think everybody in the country needs to know if it happened,” Mr. Graham said on the CBS program “Face the Nation,” calling Mr. McCabe’s assertion “beyond stunning.” He added: “I’m going to do everything I can to get to the bottom of Department of Justice, F.B.I. behavior toward President Trump and his campaign.”

Asked by the program’s host, Margaret Brennan, if he would subpoena Mr. McCabe and Mr. Rosenstein to testify, Mr. Graham said, “How can I not if that’s what it takes?” He promised to have a hearing to find out “who’s telling the truth.”

was lindsey graham always this loathsome? he's gone from 95th percentile asshole to 99.999th god-tier over this past year

He tweeted that about SNL just to twit Lorne Michaels into having Stephen Miller host it. Lorne would 100% do it, if asked.

?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=main_fb§ion=politics&utm_campaign=hp_fb_pages&__twitter_impression=true

def most likely to have a a closet full of skeletons in David Pecker's safe

xpost Graham

He tweeted that about SNL just to twit Lorne Michaels into having Stephen Miller host it. Lorne would 100% do it, if asked.

speaking of NBC late-night hosts, i have to admit i wouldn't mind watching jimmy fallon rustle and tussle the top of stephen miller's head like he did trump's

Lindsay Graham's performance as Compromised Senator #2 is a little too on-the-nose for my liking but tbf the script is also to blame, as his crooked motivations shouldn't be this glaringly telegraphed this early in the story.

Weird how at one point South Carolina of all places had an Indian-American governor, an African-American senator and um, Lindsey Graham.

Someone forgot to bring the applesauce sign to Europe with them.

Speaking to a security conference in Munich, Pence tells his audience he brings greetings from President Trump... and not a single person claps. #awkward pic.twitter.com/JkFpsKqfgk

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) February 16, 2019

OMG -- Pence was visibly shook in Poland when he received absolutely no reaction to what was clearly supposed to be an applause line about how "the time has come for our European partners to withdraw from the Iran nuclear deal." pic.twitter.com/biRxARZkcM

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) February 16, 2019

The idea that Pence didn’t have more self awareness how unpopular this decision was internationally might negate the perception that he’d be more skillful at getting through bad policy ideas than Trump has been.

He’s extremely stupid, and there’s a long public record of his stupidity to back it up.

o do i have this right

1) there is a national emergency on the texas border
2) the president is vacationing in florida
3) the veep is out of the country

xpost i wasn't that familiar with pence before he became VP, so i always kind of thought people were exaggerating his stupidity. but he really is fucking stupid and his trademark blank look is a result of the complete inactivity inside his head rather than any sort of steely resolve or poker face

theoretically someone could fill up his cavernous brain cavity with an agenda or information or some sort of purpose, but no one has done it so he's just the weekend at bernies 2 dead guy, standing there and occasionally making his arms move to sign documents

he says the words that mean the things, and he says them in the right order, what more do you want?? does he have to SHOW you his pair of gray Bike coach's shorts for to understand he's that kind of solid dude? come on now

Talk about a bubble... everywhere that guy goes, people are cheering in the right places. It must be confounding to hear that stone cold silence. He may have excused it in his head that the mic must've dropped out.

I posted this a few months ago. Doesn't matter how big the crowd, Pencey still gonna do the booming Political Title FIRSTNAME LASTNAME when he gets to do it.

https://t.co/eJG4oDztLV

— Together (@IndivisibleLRCA) September 21, 2018

bless his heart, as they say in parts of the country (not sure about indiana).

"mom, i said the words"

*cries*

Trump will be on campus in a couple hours. Two buildings away an anti-abortion group, the kind that loves gruesome blown up photos of eviscerated fetuses, has its annual display. He'll love it!

a guy with his history and profile seems soooooooooo open for criticism on this angle. i could build a 50 acre toxic sludge lagoon with potential shitposts tbh.

The editor of a small-town Alabama newspaper published an editorial calling for “the Ku Klux Klan to night ride again” against “Democrats in the Republican Party and Democrats [who] are plotting to raise taxes in Alabama.”

Goodloe Sutton — who is also the publisher of the Democrat-Reporter newspaper in Linden, Alabama — confirmed to the Montgomery Advertiser on Monday that he authored the Feb. 14 editorial calling for the return of a white supremacist hate group.

“If we could get the Klan to go up there and clean out D.C., we’d all been better off,” Sutton said. Asked to elaborate what he meant by “cleaning up D.C.,” Sutton suggested lynching. “We’ll get the hemp ropes out, loop them over a tall limb and hang all of them,” Sutton said.

https://www.montgomeryadvertiser.com/story/news/2019/02/18/alabama-newspaper-ku-klux-klan-to-night-ride-again-linden-democrat-reporter-goodloe-sutton/2910436002/

I bet that editor is a registered Republican.