to what extent does your life revolve around alcohol?

life is too goddamn boring, is the problem

I mean, my dad's family went teetotaller two generations back and I grew up listening to him build a new set of kitchen cabinets or noodling around with amateur woodworking

yeah that passage feels disingenuous, like if I stopped drinking I wouldn't just suddenly want to learn a foreign language or whatever, I'd still just waste that time somehow because I've got 2 kids and a million responsibilities, I'm not looking for more shit to do rn

re weed hangovers--i've definitely experienced this from edibles (which i generally prefer to smoking) but can't say it's happened to me just from smoking.

i'm one of those assholes who did Dry January this year for the first time and gotta say, I wasn't impressed. was kinda expecting to feel amazing and maybe see my gut flatten a bit. neither really happened. i'm also typically a fun, happy drunk according to friends so i don't see myself cutting it out any time soon.

I don't think it would change my life at all, I would just be drinking more Klarbrunn and tea when hanging out with my wife (as we did when I briefly stopped drinking for medical reasons, and as we're trying to do a few nights a week for general health). But some people drink way too much! Or at least use it as a primary hobby.

I think the difference re: the article and drinking is that some people who drink heavily are working their asses off and have no release valve. Like, the people I know who are working ridiculous hours and then have excess energy on the weekend because they just can't wind down -- and either don't have kids, or other obligations that take energy -- so they're doing marathons up until their 40s? Well, the people who fucking hate running are out barhopping or sitting around fishing and drinking and the drinking takes up both energy and time in a way they find pleasing, but can become troublesome if you're doing more of that than regular life.

If you have a non-physically demanding job and have excess physical energy, a few drinks with dinner and a nightcap is the way some people are bleeding it off.

btw it's worth clicking through from that article's author blurb to the two book summaries they linked

yea I've gone dry for a few weeks and I don't really feel or look notably better. I mean not as far as I can tell

not having a hangover at 7 AM when you have to deal with small children is pretty good though

oH, i did way too much looking into that author when I read that essay. xpost

it's as expected.

if there's anyone else I can expect to think "hmm, who is writing this, and why?" it's probably you :)

I have one a night usually , or none, during the week, and usually around 6 per session when I get out on the weekend. My other rule is that I stop when it gets dark outside. Which means I start early!

I am very, very predictable. And now I am opening a bottle of wine. xpost

drink heavily

I still think this is the crux of the article. There's drinking, and then there's *drinking heavily*, which is a different thing entirely. Like, there's eating, and then there's eating too much. And so on. The action is not the problem the excess is. Everything in moderation. (Except perhaps reading, you can't really read too much.)

Dry January

I think if you are a reasonable drinker, and *don't* regularly drink to excess, then what difference does it make, really? Cutting out alcohol for a month shouldn't be a shock to the system, anymore than, say, cutting out red meat for a month. But for further example, we had a neighbor night dinner a couple of weeks ago, and one couple was doing some fad diet. Whole 30? Whatever the fuck it was called, they were cutting out a lot of things, and alcohol was one of them. The guy, he made reference a couple of times to "all the drinking over the holidays" and stuff, as if it was so much drinking that yeah, of course, it made sense to take a break. And he kind of caught me squinting, I guess, because he quickly added "it's not like I'm an alcoholic or anything!" Which I totally get and totally believe. He's not an alcoholic ... he just drinks a lot, and certainly a lot more than me, to the extent that taking a break from drinking is a Big Deal. But in my case, drinking is so not a Big Deal, that I don't see the point in taking a break.

Like I said I didn't drink much at all before the age of, say, 30 or so, and rarely if ever to excess, and the same goes for pot. I had no problem with people around me smoking, but I avoided it entirely (even when I was in a touring band, which, phew, let me say, that was tough!). But I never had a problem with the concept and even said I could imagine myself starting when I was in my 40s. Certainly I can see the appeal, vs. drinking, though to be honest the one or two times I've tried edibles the effect was mostly negligible, or, if noticeable at all, not terribly unlike drinking, whose dosage (as such) I find a lot easier to follow.

I will admit I got sick to death of people saying what a difference it made listening to music high. I always thought, huh, I love music and listen to it all the time and don't feel like I'm missing anything, why would I want to fuck around with that? If I started smoking pot I would do so either to relax (like alcohol) or to focus concentration, if I was working on a project or something.

lol It would be awesome to print up a shirt that said "Dry January" on the front and "Drink Heavily" on the back.

Listening to music while high is boring. I used to quilt while high and I was like a machine. I could knock out 3 quilts in a week.

Could I imagine my life without alcohol? I guess, but only in the same way I could imagine my life without bread, or sugar: I think it would be worse!

not to single you out, i'm just using this as a jumping-off point, but i find this a little depressing! i mean i feel the same way. i cut out soda and juice almost completely (i have maybe a root beer once per year, and OJ occasionally if i'm sick) and don't really miss them. i guess it could be said that they're worse than alcohol in some ways, since they're consumed at greater quantities and at a great cost especially to kids, but it's weird to think that choosing not to drink alcohol whatsoever would make my life worse. there are certainly social aspects to it that come into play, and cultural, and of course one can't live on water and coffee and tea all the time.

seeing alcoholism in my family makes it more tempting to just quit completely.

I don't know what show I was watching with friends and they (who are around 50 yrs old) commented on how people used to talk so much about "dieting" and people don't do that anymore. I was like, are you kidding? That's all people talk about. Except now they don't want the bad connotations of saying the word "diet" or even "atkins" so they say they are cleansing, or doing keto, paleo, eating clean.

I think the point of not doing something for a month isn't necessarily a grand gesture of abstinence, but partially an effort to define the place of the thing that you are abstaining from in your life.

I mean, you could have two drinks every Friday night and none the rest of the week, but what if that first Friday no longer feels like Friday? And depending on how much of a creature of habit you are, how are you going to react to a week without a Friday?

This is how Rome fell, people

drinking soda only feels good for the small window of time when it's actually on your tongue

a few good beers can keep you happy for hours

xpost, this is funny because I *only* drink water, coffee and tea. (and alcohol).

i had some water when i woke up, then made a coffee, and now i'm about to make a tea.

Oh, I wasn't thinking of sugary drinks, like soda and juice, I was talking about the idea of cutting out *dessert*.

I guess I think of it as more zero sum than I should. I don't think my life would be *worse* without alcohol, but it definitely wouldn't be *better*. I don't see how it could be, since it's not a problem now. I'd save some money I guess? But really at best life would be the same, only minus the alcohol, which would be ... a kind of worse. Because something was taken away, for no real purpose. Important note: I have no history of alcoholism anywhere near my family, or among my friends (afaict).

yeah water, cof, tea is basically all i need out of beverages especially if water includes seltzer

I only drink water, tea and coffee (and alcohol). I could go without tea and alcohol, but not without coffee.

I have dessert like.. a few times a year

now, take away my occasional salty/spicy snacks and I'm angry

water, beer (go weeks-long stretches without), and a Dr Pepper once every month or two. water is great, I feel like an asshole demanding more from the world than that lol.

I am kind of a water pusher but I don't understand in her essay where she feels pressured to drink. You are 50 years old. C'mon. And her friend that she adores sucks for not sussing out refreshments ahead of time. But I understand that it's hard to come up with essay topics.

yeah it's something she just did every day for decades and it seems super weird not to so she feels judged?

many midwesterners are fucking weird and, even if they drink regularly and aren't particularly religious/moral, think drinking is bad and anyone who abstains is affecting a morally superior position

if she's a minnesotan she's stuck halfway between catholic/lutheran morality and it's a hellscape of weird judgment and passive-aggressiveness

Dry January

I think if you are a reasonable drinker, and *don't* regularly drink to excess, then what difference does it make, really? Cutting out alcohol for a month shouldn't be a shock to the system,

mm well tbh i do tend to go pretty hard pretty regularly

I have dessert like.. a few times a year

now, take away my occasional salty/spicy snacks and I'm angry

never had em

oh my god dot's pretzels are the truth

I checked and apparently they only carry them at Ace Hardware here? idk

What I'd like to know is who are these people who have parties where, if you don't drink, you freeze to death? That weirded me out more than the not drinking itself.

a lot of personal essays fail because they seek to generalize experiences that most people don't have at all. this is a great example.

lol yes

too much even when i'm on self-imposed wagon (fer example, now) it's on my mind a little, i am seriously not so happy with me.

i don't drink a large qty, and i'm typically not too impaired, but both conditions have been increasing in the past year.

Yes LBI that was very strange. I have been in a lot of rooms - sober, tipsy, and drunk. I have also experienced a lot of evenings where the food schedule was delayed or amorphous.

I have literally never thought "this room would be comfortable if I were drinking" or "this delay in the food conveyor belt would be tolerable if I were drinking." In each case, I guess I would put on a jacket or eat something or, um, just... deal with it and wait? Seems like that's a weirdly specific situation that she blamed on OMG Pervasive Booziness! instead of the specific situation with that host in that moment.

Personally I don't feel much attraction to something like abstaining in January, or Tuesdays, or during the full moon, or whatever. No judgment for those who do, it just seems arbitrary and therefore unnecessary.

What if you're in drynuary and you happen into a fine convivial occasion where it makes sense to enjoy a beverage that symbolizes and celebrates camaraderie, fellowship, a good food pairing, and the just plain joy of a sensuous life (that happily happens to include champagne)? You say no because of an arbitrary promise you made to no one in particular just to... just to what? Demonstrate your freedom from compulsion? Sounds like the opposite of freedom to me. But then I am a notorious libertine.

I think in the writer’s case she realized these were her drinking friends and everything was awkward when she wasn’t drinking. Waiting for someone seemed to take forever, the room seemed colder, and she felt judged by her absence of drink. The worrying about spoiling dinner in the piece is so weird — eat the snacks and get a light dinner or share an entree, who gives a shit?

i'd feel shitty if i were betsy and doug or whatever their names were

I occasionally take a month off or whatever, it's good for me,and I drink enough that I notice slight differences (bank balance, being slightly better rested at work). It I also good for me to see that I can do it because I've been drinking heavily for 23 years and while I'm not am alcoholic I'm definitely not in total control of my consumption.

fair

I wonder if I’d have certain life things in a different order or shape right now but drinking, recreational or otherwise, is a side effect or symptom of other life choices imo

My drinking is a side effect of being from the west of scotland mainly

My drinking is a side effect of the drinks being delicious

My drinking is a side effect of inability to raw dog reality

i don't drink at all anymore but if you asked me to quit sugar i don't think i could do it

like once or twice a year, inevitably at a party where I'm uncomfortable and don't know anyone, i do the YEAH FUCKIT drink binge and knock out three to five drinks fairly quickly and nothing good ever happens and i always feel shitty the next day and that sort of inoculates me against socially drinking at all and i guess that's good?

mostly i'm just conscious of the fact that i have a personality that leans toward overdoing everything and a history of alcoholics in the family
i had a year or three of make-believe alcoholism that started thinking about becoming actual alcoholism followed by a pause and then another half-hearted attempt in that direction and a few moments of the lure of self-destruction in utero and now it's just wiser to stay away from that machinery.
whether it was wine or beer or liquor, having one drink aways felt like bullshit, if i was gonna do it i wanted to get real fucked up every time.
whenever i was starting to get just a little drunk that's inevitably when reptile brain suggested doing more and then i start doing dumb shit and blacking out.
i'm proud of living long enough to know my limitations but a little ashamed that i don't have the will/dna to allow that to be part of my life and that's about where it's at.

My drinking is a side effect of inability to raw dog reality

i've tried not eating sugar in its most obvious forms so many times and i get maybe a day, maybe two days if i'm lucky. i don't think i can do it.