Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

"Soundgarden is our Led Zeppelin."
Dude is 44 btw

"HAHA, that judge lady Sodom-eyer broke her leg on capitol hill! That's a sign you should stay away from that job!"

Not trying to stick up for dude, cause sheesh, but that's how my head pronounces it.

I like my coworkers but I hate listening to music in the office. If I loop an mp3 of white noise* through my headphones for the next 3 hours to drown out the office music should I expect it to be damaging aurally/psychologically?

*because I don't feel like listening to my own choice of music at the moment

So, All-Shell Dude was doing "Respect my authori-ty!!!" impressions of Cartman from South Park last week, informing me that "Cartman's the man". This after I mistakenly
made a crack that a co-worker's sunglasses were "very highway patrolman".

Keep calling him Ponch until he either gets the pop culture reference or goes back into his shell...

Still adjusting to life in cubicle-land after 14-odd months. Had a beer with some co-workers this past weekend - there's one guy that always manages to invite himself along, and none of us can stand him. This guy is your classic dork - quiet, awkwardly shy, with incredibly pedestrian taste in everything. I'm guessing he was the kid that got invited to the birthday party because someone's mother said so - the kind of guy who hovers on the periphery of the conversation and is desperate for an in, who is constantly interjecting but ultimately has nothing to add, and when he finally gets the "Really? Do tell!" that he so desperately craves, his stories are completely content-free. Also, he has a horrible you're-my-girlfriend-on-the-street-in-my-mind crushes on one of the women in my department, and any time she's at one of these nights he'll sit across from her, make wounded puppy dog eyes, and get visibly despondent if she happens to chat or act flirty with one of the other dudes in the group. It's at the point where she'll cut out early if he's there, which is a damned shame because she's hella smart and fun to talk to.

We'll have to be more clandestine in our plans from here on in.

― Tantrum The Cat, Tuesday, June 2, 2009 9:48 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This post makes me actually wonder if you work in the same company as me.

My cubiclemate from upthread found a large-ish bug in her apartment LAST WEEK and has spent the past 4 work days describing it to every person she sees, plus on the phone to every friend and family member. I think I've heard this story upwards of 50 times.

I went out of my way just now to help a customer with their new DSL upgrade by recommending some troubleshooting - this despite it not being at all part of my job, I just provision the connections - and when I suggested our helpdesk could do more in depth troubleshooting he replies to my email with "I'm on hold with them now, thanks for the hand ball"

Wanker.

OK, the next dude over will NOT STOP RANDOMLY WHISTLING ALONG with whatever's in his headphones. Sweetheart of a guy, otherwise, but JEEZ.

"Art is a lot different in Europe; people take it more seriously. Everybody has paintings up in their house. It only makes sense you know, because that's where it blossomed. And what do Americans have? Big screen TVs. Actually, I have a fifty inch plasma in my bedroom and 42 inch in the living room. Which is funny, because I don't watch much television."

― Feugh! (since somebody always asks: rhymes with "Peugh!") (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, June 2, 2009 10:12 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark

this sounds like something Patrick Bateman would say

My cubiclemate from upthread found a large-ish bug in her apartment LAST WEEK and has spent the past 4 work days describing it to every person she sees, plus on the phone to every friend and family member. I think I've heard this story upwards of 50 times.

― franny glass, Wednesday, June 10, 2009 8:10 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

THIS IS STILL GOING ON. She has literally screamed three times this morning while looking at photos of it. She is now on the phone reading out a wikipedia description of the species of bug to a friend. I may have a heart attack.

Get her a box of these:

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/0/02/Spiders_Ceiling.jpg

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Images off!

why does this women that sits near me have to verbalize everything that pops into her brain? constant string of mumbles and comments!! stop please!!

slurpy talky gaspy is trying to ween herself off caffeine. i'm hopeful...

Crouching over your wastebasket, clipping your fingernails. You guys are great to work with, but seriously, the ".........Snip!............Snip! Snip!............... ........Snip!" has got to stop.

why does this women that sits near me have to verbalize everything that pops into her brain? constant string of mumbles and comments!! stop please!!

Doesn't every office have one of these?

> Crouching over your wastebasket, clipping your fingernails.

was a man and a woman doing this on the train on sunday. god knows where all the little pieces went.

why does this women that sits near me have to verbalize everything that pops into her brain? constant string of mumbles and comments!! stop please!!

Oh dear, I'm afraid I am That Person in my office :/

Terrible habit of talking to m'self. I'm awfully aware of it, but its horribly compulsive.

was that meant for us?

No but this is - screw you hippy!

Argh, there's a woman on the bus I sometimes get (the one I shouldn't get because it gets me in 35 minutes late instead of 20 minutes early), and every time she clips her fingernails all over the bus, then douses them with some kind of nail strengthening serum while filing them, then varnishes them. Cannot stand this! Sounds horrible and fills the entire bus atmosphere with vile-smelling chemicals and keratinous dust.

I have a bad habit of making little "aah"/"ulp"/"grmph" noises whenever I inflict some embarrassing slapstick pratfall upon myself (e.g. opening the window yesterday and discovering on turning round that I'd somehow got entangled in the blind cords), which happens way too often, and then I feel obliged to explain it, and then... but luckily this office already has an Unnecessary Running Commentary Woman and so I am probably safe from that title while she's here

The sound of someone clipping their fingernails is the most horrible sound in existence. I have had to deal with the on-the-bus clippers before and it is like torture. If it was going on at my place of work I think I would have to make a complaint or something.

slurping and gasping and talking about the Twilight books and Angels & Demons. guess we're still on the caffeine : /

talking about the Twilight books and Angels & Demons at an incredibally rapid pace

incredibly

and hey guys, if you have an "emergency", please contact me via email. do NOT leave me a voicemail. I always have my blackberry on me, but I'm away from my desk phone probably 40% of the day. in fact, I should never return to my office to see a voicemail light flashing. like ever. unless it's some jack-legged vendor who I won't be calling back anyway.

also, unless you work at 1) a hospital 2) police station 3) fire station, it's not really an "emergency" ffs. just FYI.

^ should probably tell 'em that. voicemail feels more urgent than email, to me. xp.

if this were a client I'd totally understand. but these are coworkers. they know what's up.

"This is, like, a great time to be Iranian. You know what the best part about this is? We had nothing to do with it! It's all on them!

"That's hacker speak for a 'Blackberry'. 'Crackberry' refers to how easy it is to 'crack' the phone and add illegal applications."

NO IT DOES NOT IT REFERS TO THE ADDICTIVE QUALITY OF THE BLACKBERRY INTERFACE AND THE FACT THAT ACOLYTES OF THE DEVICE NEVER STOP USING IT FUCK FUCK FUCK SHUT UP

Now he's holding forth about 'breaking into' an iphone

lol

also, unless you work at 1) a hospital 2) police station 3) fire station, it's not really an "emergency" ffs. just FYI.

OMG this, yes. I hate, hate this. I work for an architecture firm and deal with these "emergencies" all the time. Like I get a voicemail from a frantic contractor asking me to call him back because he has an emergency on site. Call him back and it turns out the painter wanted to know which color to paint the door frames. So not an emergency, by any definition. Besides if there is a real emergency, I'm not going to be able to do something about it ffs.

In IT support everything is an "emergency" and usually it's something like "the keyboard cable fell out". See also "ASAP". "The client wants this done ASAP" "Yes I know, so does everybody!"

Argh bane of my life, that. Customers who shriek and flap about urgent orders, has a deadline omg (and sometimes it's true, say if they're relocating offices).

And then what happens? We fucking knock ourselves out for them, complete the order...and then they sit on their hands and dont even connect up the router for weeks.

&^^%$%^$

"You know, in this system we've created over the past two thousand years? As humans? I don't think we're capable of helping each other. Not at this point. There's a lot of very simple solutions to complex problems. But we overthink it. That's why we're all fucked."
^conversation started about cellphone carriers, moved to Iran elections; this was his wrap up speech.

lol I have never met him, yet I want to punch him

Twenty minute conversation about Natalie Merchant, who he says he knows from her Woodstock days ends with: "It's cool. She's a scorpio. They have a technique for reinvention. Rise like a phoenix."

He also tends to hold forth about Barry Windsor Smith.

I can just picture what a complete tossbag he is. Also, re: punching, unfortunately he sounds like the kind of guy who, when someone punches him, whines "whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy did you doooooooooo thaaat?" and has no awareness at all that he is being an annoying bore.

again, he's not the worst guy. it's just some of the things he says makes me want to take a hatchet to him.

That's the problem - someone who mugs pensioners you can be justifiable angry with, but when it comes to saying "well there's this guy at the office", complaining about him just seems a bit petty. But you still want to slap him.

Actually I remember a similar character from somewhere I used to work years ago. It was a call centre, and this guy was fed up of people interupting him while he was on the phone using a hands free headset. His solution was to go out and buy one of those flashing police lights that crap mobile DJs have. he put it on his monitor (lolCRT), and would switch it on every time he was on the phone. After about an hour of flash-flash-flash, several people in the office wanted to knock the shite out of him. I often wondered how that situation escalated so quickly, and I think it was because now everyone had a justifiable reason to criticise the guy.

and hey guys, if you have an "emergency", please contact me via email. do NOT leave me a voicemail. I always have my blackberry on me, but I'm away from my desk phone probably 40% of the day. in fact, I should never return to my office to see a voicemail light flashing. like ever. unless it's some jack-legged vendor who I won't be calling back anyway.

this is one of the 1,000 reason for me disconnecting my work voicemail!

My boss is belching over and over at her desk 3m away. I can hear it through my music/headphones.

It was a call centre, and this guy was fed up of people interupting him while he was on the phone using a hands free headset. His solution was to go out and buy one of those flashing police lights that crap mobile DJs have.

OK lol at his ridic solution, but jesus h, I hate people who walk up to you when you're on the phone and just start jabbering away at you. I just put my hand up in their face when they do it. Yeah, it probably looks rude but they started it.

"Ha, look at this! They're calling this issue of the Village Voice the 'queer issue'. Every issue of the Voice is the queer issue!"