"Maroon 5 is band you're going to be hearing a lot of for many years to come!"

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who would hire a personal trainer and nutritionist to go with him on vacation to Newark.

when i was watching this my abiding feeling was "this isn't very good, but it's the best that maroon 5 can possibly do"

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who would talk you into getting a massive back tattoo, go with you to the shop, get a phone call just as the needle turned on, say "he really needs to take this," leave and never come back.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who would send back an entire table's meals at a family-owned Turkish restaurant for being "too salty".

despite the tone and tats, there was something very Slim Goodbody about his torso when he peeled off his shirt.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who would start a fistfight at an Ikea over the last shopping cart.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who would punctuate a eulogy with eyebrow waggling.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who gets the last laugh, because he does. I interviewed him (twice!). Here's one exchange, from what may very well have been 15 years ago:

RE: You've said before that your first concert was Warrant. No matter how good you are, and how hard you try, ten years from now you could be the next Warrant.

AL: Exactly. I’m kind of expecting the inevitable downfall. We are just a rock and roll band. We’re having success, but we’re not superheroes. There will be a time when it starts to peter off a bit, and we’re totally ready for that. We’re just hoping it last as long as possible.

RE: Does this mean you've been putting all your money in the bank?

AL: Well, we want to have fun, too. (laughs)

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who would housesit your husky and you'd come back to the smell of one missed indoor dogshit that you can't find anywhere.

Man, even Anthony Kiedis wouldn't get "California" tattooed on his stomach

— Jeremy Gordon (@jeremypgordon) February 4, 2019

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who would walk into a restaurant and *then* take off his shirt, like Sean Penn in "Fast Times." Except he would do it in the back seat of his car and have the driver roll down his window so that the person handing over the food could see it's him in the back, and he'd say "keep the change," wink, and then drive off, and then the guy working the counter would say to himself, wait a minute, he never paid!

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who would housesit your husky and you'd come back to find them in bed drinking coffee together.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who makes an extremely halfhearted effort to stop the elevator door from closing when he sees you running from down the hallway but somehow never manages to hold the button.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy that would launch a line of caffeinated wine.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who has a shower stall that just mists Axe Body Spray.

https://i.imgur.com/l2wb358.jpg

he looks like Max Fischer starring in one of his own high school plays, in the lead role of a lifer at the world's toughest prison.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy that would vacation with the guy from Train.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who buys a Harley and gets all the Harley swag which he wears to all the Harley events he doesn't take the bike to.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who doesn't take his Men's Health magazines into the bathroom because he wants to keep them in good condition.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who builds a special room to age Fireball Whiskey.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy that gifts all his friends and family Maroon 5 shirts for the holidays.

https://pics.wikifeet.com/Adam-Levine-Feet-2937742.jpg

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy that would take a picture of himself making that pose and then post it on the internet.

https://media.pitchfork.com/photos/5c585f81973b5279a897095e/2:1/w_790/Adam-Levine.jpg

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy that says "for all intensive purposes."

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who keeps a pen and notebook by his bedside explicitly to keep track of his forearm circumference.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who only liked Genesis after Phil left.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy that keeps a dream diary, but only for sex dreams.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who has strong opinions about sandalwood.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy that hangs out naked in the locker room, talking to his financial advisor.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy that would admire jimmy fallon

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who says he's never been on Reddit but actually has three different logins.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who would start a "men's lipbalm" boutique.

Adam Levine looks like what Jason Schwartzman sees staring back at him when he gazes into a pond during a lonely walk in the park

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who would market translated Japanese toilets.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy that would own several roadside zoos in Texas, for tax purposes.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who gets genuinely angry if he sees you not recycling foil yogurt tops.

Jason Schwartzman looks like what Demetri Martin sees staring back at him when he gazes into a pond during a lonely walk in the park

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who vapes in a sauna.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy that collects luxury cars but doesn't know how to drive.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who rides hard The Simpsons season 24.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy that calls all his bandmates "bro" because he doesn't know their names.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who has never seen a foreign film because he doesn't want to "read a movie."

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who would install a mirror on the ceiling of every room in his house.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who rides hard The Simpsons season 24.
― a large tuna called “Justice” (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, February 4, 2019

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who gives out Crosley Cruisers w/Maroon 5 vinyls as party favors.

xpost It's going to sound impossible, but I almost said the exact thing, only I was going to say Season 30. (Which my daughter was making fun of yesterday.)

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who rides down to get his mail on a custom Segway.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who uses his cellphone as a walkie-talkie when out in public.

Adam Levine looks like the kind of guy who's five issues short of a complete collection of Penthouse.