Things You Just Don't Care About

love doggies tbh

Maxim: People who appear to be listening when you talk about your pets/children/health problems/golf game are only doing so because they want a socially sanctioned excuse to talk about THEIR pets/children/health problems/golf game.

Of course this applies to lots of conversation, but I find it particularly acute around those topics.

There is "empathetic listening" and there is "waiting to talk."

If you have pets and you are listening to someone talking about their pets, odds are you're estimating how long you will be permitted to talk about your own pets.

my cat is awful (pees on stuff, attacks my girlfriend. but cuddly and nice like 50% of the time) so I'm usually just envious when hearing about other people's kitties

he's just aping your behavior

pffft, fuck sake

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRWsh85P2T4

"My Dog Is Smarter Than Your Kid"

I Just Purposefully Rear-Ended You

yea dogs

cats too

pictures of peoples’ dogs and cats

You’re all monsters.

^^ otm

Benson is one of many exceptions

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6Q8IhDM_P4

most dogs are pretty decent

especially their ears

my cat is awful (pees on stuff, attacks my girlfriend. but cuddly and nice like 50% of the time)

lmfao

Dogs are solid.

I love all the furballs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEhYGmLRFXM

Dogs are fine, doggos and puppers will be shot in the street

I wouldn't want to have to care for one but dogs are alright. Fuck cats and their oversized egos though.

I'd say more than half of my verbal interactions with humanity is smalltalk about dogs with other dog-walkers. I don't know if that makes me a doggo and honestly couldn't care less.

I assume wins was referring to internet canine-speak: 'doggos' for dogs and 'puppers' for puppies, etc. (cf. the genuinely insufferable 'RarePuppers' subreddit).

I was. Insufferable is the word

I was talking to someone earlier with a chocolate lab called Fergus, she was saying how she's only just recovered from a broken knee after tripping over the dog-lead last year. Dog-talk gets real sometimes!

No doubt, but how do you feel about phrases such as:

• heckin' heart eyes
• bigboye
• smart boi
• hooman
• happy woof woof
• goodest of boys
• boopable nose
• etc.

oh that's some cloying shit. I wouldn't use them myself, but am probably just as soppy as ppl that use them though so feel awkward about judging.

making a Fairly solid argument that tthe same societal sickness that led to Minstrel Shows manifests itself today as "Doggo Shit"

— wint (@dril) July 17, 2018

there is this guy with 2 springer spaniels with bells on their colours that make a delightful noise as they clank about. I made an innocuous comment about it being nice to hear some live improv on the mountains. He really didn't like the comment and I think he thought I was taking the piss out of him. Maybe should try some doggo talk next time.

collars

Haha, I'm pretty sure that 95% of the world population views references to free jazz or improv or abstract art in a negative light. Liking that stuff is 'unnatural' obv.

There’s also the fact that most people are probably more likely to understand improv to mean zany comedy shows than cafe oto type stuff

I feel quite strongly that dogs are definitely funnier than 100& of stand-up comedians. Even if their routine does include very unsavory stuff like fucking settee cushions and tearing the sleeve of your best winter jacket.

there have been a few moments in my life where I feel like if it wasn't for my dog I might have stopped interacting with the world (especially during peak winter) and gone into a black hole of depression. So there is that as well.

Dogs seem to enjoy themselves, where most animals don't, which is a plus. They are aldo smelly, dirty, loud and sometimes dangerous. A bit like a metal band in LA in the 80s.

My sister has a dog - which hates me and all men - but I don't know any other dog owners. I know lots of cat owners though, forever billing and cooing over their boring charges.

Two friends of mine – a couple – own a black cat each. One is anorexic due to some unnameable trauma, which it routinely unloads on bipeds such as myself, as well as on her feline roommate, who now copes via bulimia. Every time I visit them I come one step closer to acknowledging Satan's existence.

Paulie from Sopranos was otm: snakes with fur.

Benson is one of many exceptions

― calumy (rip van wanko), Friday, January 18, 2019 9:44 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Aw!! <3

Furbaby is by far the worst term. But I blame the humans and not the dogs.

I live for dog videos.

Fuck cats and their oversized egos though.

― pomenitul, Saturday, January 19, 2019 3:10 AM (six hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post

this is stupid btw

To each their Stockholm syndrome.

*blows the 'stockholm syndrome reference' whistle*

toot toot

I suffer from Stockholm syndrome reference syndrome.

if we start associating stockholm syndrome with people who love their cats, which words are we going to use when we visit stockholm and notice someone who is being held captive in a dungeon but insists that they're happy?

We must imagine Sisyphus happy

Thou shalt imagine Sisyphus happy.

I must imagine Sisyphus happy. And I do, I like thinking about that. Whoever is making me do that, it’s a good idea!

I embrace my furry catpurr I mean captor

sissypuss

To each their Stockholm syndrome.

― pomenitul, Saturday, January 19, 2019 9:53 AM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ok, sorry you never met a cat that liked you

I have, actually. Happens about 27% of the time.