Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise Flick of 2019

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I hope the Playmobil movie sets up the Kinder Eggs trilogy like they've been teasing this whole time. Fan service or not, it's what I want to see.

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:34 (nine months ago) link

I'm cool with the Starry Eyes peeps but having rewatched it recently I can confirm that Pet Semetary is hardly among the King adaptations begging to be remade.

A Nugatory Excrescence (Old Lunch), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:34 (nine months ago) link

Hey I know, even though it's only been a couple of years why not take a stab at a Dark Tower adaptation that somehow avoids being universally panned?

A Nugatory Excrescence (Old Lunch), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:36 (nine months ago) link

because the series itself is an actual car crash ending

topical mlady (darraghmac), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:52 (nine months ago) link

I hated Burton’s Willy Wonka remake too much to be properly outraged by his Alice. Also, I only got about 30 mins into it.

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Friday, 18 January 2019 23:01 (nine months ago) link

Is it a 'remake' of the first movie or a new adaptation of King's book?

because the book is one of his best. No reason someone else shouldn't have a crack at it

Number None, Friday, 18 January 2019 23:41 (nine months ago) link

Well, it's an unnecessary readaptation, then.

I still wanna know why no one's taken a crack at The Long Walk yet (possibly my favorite).

A Nugatory Excrescence (Old Lunch), Saturday, 19 January 2019 00:41 (nine months ago) link

xpost

You bring up a good point. If this is another go at adapting a well known novel, than it shouldn't be here for the same reason that I didn't include Greta Gerwig's Little Women. I guess it comes down to determining whether the filmmaker is treating the source material as the novel or the earlier adaptations. In both cases, the popularity of these novels likely outweighs the popularity of any one film adaptation of either of them. I shouldn't have included it.

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Saturday, 19 January 2019 01:44 (nine months ago) link

Stephen King is the franchise.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Saturday, 19 January 2019 01:48 (nine months ago) link

Hey I know, even though it's only been a couple of years why not take a stab at a Dark Tower adaptation that somehow avoids being universally panned?


I don’t know if this is the joke or what but I believe amazon are still going to make their dark tower series even tho nobody gave a shit about the dark tower

gray say nah to me (wins), Saturday, 19 January 2019 09:49 (nine months ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Thursday, 24 January 2019 00:01 (nine months ago) link

Glass was fairly hilarious. bring back two characters nobody's seen in almost 20 years, give them very little dialogue or purpose, and have most of the talking done by the psychiatrist sitting in a chair. 45% of the movie.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Thursday, 24 January 2019 01:47 (nine months ago) link

i believe sopranos has a similar idea

topical mlady (darraghmac), Thursday, 24 January 2019 02:20 (nine months ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Friday, 25 January 2019 00:01 (nine months ago) link

Predicting now that the (correct) winner will also make the most money and get a sequel.

E Pluripubis Unum (Old Lunch), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:05 (nine months ago) link

I only just learned this morning that somehow Aquaman is a massive, billion-dollar-+ global hit instead of the hideous tanking bomb it so obviously ought to be (this is based on not watching it, because why would I do that to myself?).

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:10 (nine months ago) link

Oh, I see Aquaman wasn't even an option. nor Bumblebee.

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:10 (nine months ago) link

Both released last year in the states.

Infidels, Like Dylan In The Eighties (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:11 (nine months ago) link

Have a vague suspicion that Bumblebee is secretly launching a Transfomers reboot series tho.

Infidels, Like Dylan In The Eighties (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:12 (nine months ago) link

heard Bumblebee described as "basically a horse/girl movie"

Norm’s Superego (silby), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:35 (nine months ago) link

Bumblebee was actually...fun. slight but fun.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:35 (nine months ago) link

More family friendly

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:35 (nine months ago) link

Have actually heard good things, first non-animated Transformers movie I've had the slightest spark of interest in, sometimes these cynical cash-ins can surprise u

E Pluripubis Unum (Old Lunch), Friday, 25 January 2019 01:43 (nine months ago) link

Sorry, I am in Australia and also very old, so for all I know these movies came out in 2014

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 25 January 2019 04:25 (nine months ago) link

Child's Play
- assuming this is just the 8th Child's Play by Don Mancini, keep going man. If it's some dumb remake, I hope Mancini gets a bunch of money and wanted to stop

so it turns out this is some dumb remake, but Don Mancini, the creator of Child's Play and writer of every movie and director of most, did NOT want to stop and is now doing a Chucky TV show that may or may not be in a third continuity

Son of Shaft
- afaik the Sam Jackson one was already Son Of Shaft and that was fuckin' NINETEEN YEARS AGO. I'm down if it's Jackson playing his own son this time though

so it turns out Sam Jackson was the NEPHEW of Shaft in the 2000 Shaft, but he is Shaft again in the 2019 Shaft, but now Richard Roundtree (of the 1971 Shaft and Shaft's Big Score (1972) and Shaft In Africa (1973)) is the grandfather of Jacksonshaft's son John Shaft III?

also, it is called Shaft, not Son Of Shaft, probably due to this confusing and dumb situation. wake me up when they have the guts to finally adapt the second novel though

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zjeSwmEp5AY/Tn5dD6e8IBI/AAAAAAAAIaA/7s8cwkonUg4/w1200-h630-p-k-no-nu/Shaft+Among+the+Jews-1.jpg

The Very Fugly Caterpillar (sic), Thursday, 7 February 2019 08:05 (nine months ago) link

omg

Norm’s Superego (silby), Thursday, 7 February 2019 15:44 (nine months ago) link

The way things are going we’ll be waking sic up before the decade’s out tbf

gray say nah to me (wins), Thursday, 7 February 2019 16:04 (nine months ago) link

three weeks pass...

- this seems pretty ill-advised all around but Mignola seems to have pursued it actively so he can do what he likes

turns out iii: he's been cutting the creators of B.P.R.D. characters out of participation and royalties, so fuck this one too :(

steven, soda jerk (sic), Saturday, 2 March 2019 22:15 (eight months ago) link

"The Addams Family
- wtf? anyway I just saw Addams Family Values for the first time two months ago and I'm down if Ricci is in it and Sonnenfeld's directing"

neither are; it's a computer animated thing. sounds terrible, could be good, who fucking knows

akm, Sunday, 3 March 2019 02:34 (eight months ago) link

If it has a remake of Hammer's "Addams's Groove", this movie will be amazing

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Sunday, 3 March 2019 02:35 (eight months ago) link

It is in fact a feature-length adaptation of the 'Addams Groove' video so you're in for a treat, yeah.

a meating wes convaned (Old Lunch), Sunday, 3 March 2019 15:47 (eight months ago) link

one month passes...

pretty ill-advised all around but Mignola seems to have pursued it actively

nope:


What were your conversations with director Neil Marshall like?
Well, I never … I mean, I never really had much of a conversation with Neil. I only met him once or twice, I guess, before filming began.

Why allow a new, rebooted movie to happen?
I have no say in these matters because I don’t hold the film rights.

blokes you can't rust (sic), Sunday, 14 April 2019 01:47 (six months ago) link

If one considers what is inherently promised by these sequels and reboots, one finds that the promise is often fulfilled.

Hangover Ape (Old Lunch), Sunday, 14 April 2019 02:22 (six months ago) link

two months pass...

detective pikachu

it’s good, folks

RUSSIA’S SEXIEST POKER STAR ELECTROCUTED BY HAIRDRYER (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 18 June 2019 20:42 (four months ago) link

This sure looks like a contender, folks:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R1-ZZTcTBY

Morrie Antoilette (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 18 June 2019 22:30 (four months ago) link

I have zero attachment to the Banana Splits but the fact that this is happening makes me IA.

Morrie Antoilette (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 18 June 2019 22:32 (four months ago) link

two weeks pass...

https://www.tor.com/2019/07/05/almost-every-sff-horror-comic-book-upcoming-adaptation/

List was so long I couldn't look at each one.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Saturday, 6 July 2019 19:29 (four months ago) link

I imagine some of these will be in development for another decade.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Saturday, 6 July 2019 19:30 (four months ago) link


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