Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise Flick of 2019

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that was Henry Selick, tho

Big Fish is defensible.

resident hack (Simon H.), Friday, 18 January 2019 19:30 (five years ago) link

whaaaat

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 18 January 2019 19:56 (five years ago) link

I’m still fond of beetlejuice, an inevitable future star of this poll

gray say nah to me (wins), Friday, 18 January 2019 19:59 (five years ago) link

I like Big Fish and Sweeny Todd, everything else since 2000 has been bad. Worst are the Alice films, could not get through either.

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 18 January 2019 20:00 (five years ago) link

I liked Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, Batman and Ed Wood at the time and imagine that I still would if I watched any of them again. I can’t find any justification for his career beyond that.

Batman is bad, recently saw Batman Returns for the first time and it's great

sans lep (sic), Friday, 18 January 2019 20:02 (five years ago) link

Also, wow @ Kingsman 3. Have not heard a single person say a single good thing about the second (and few who had a good word for the first).

I think this one was greenlit alongside the second. The prequal is surprising, as I'd only heard about the third one and a Statesman spin-off series.

These films are pretty critic-proof. I thought the second came and went, but still made 100 Mil domestic (against a budget of 104 Mil, but still...)

These would be prime Trump movies, except, you know, BRITISH.

Infidels, Like Dylan In The Eighties (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 18 January 2019 20:02 (five years ago) link

Batman is bad, recently saw Batman Returns for the first time and it's great

Haven't seen BR since it opened. I mostly remember my friends and I leaving the theater feeling bummed out. It's reputation has grown in recent years, though, so it probably deserves a fresh look.

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Friday, 18 January 2019 20:06 (five years ago) link

I can't imagine wanting to sit through it again, just seems like a slog. I guess it's got the same 126 min runtime as the first one but in my memory it's 30 minutes longer.

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 18 January 2019 20:12 (five years ago) link

made a jfk-style fan thread for batman returns a few years ago -- batman returns (1992) -- but it ends w a twist cliffhanger that's yet to be resolved

difficult listening hour, Friday, 18 January 2019 20:42 (five years ago) link

the thread, i mean

difficult listening hour, Friday, 18 January 2019 20:43 (five years ago) link

What Women Want is such a random movie to remake

― jmm, Friday, January 18, 2019 2:36 PM

Seriously, this is one of the least bad ideas on the thread. I want a film about women reading the mind of Mel Gibson.

But even if it wasn't Mel Gibson, still more interesting than most everything else here.

Was already remade with Andy Lau and Gong Li
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhHqflh2kU4

Oscar Isaac as Gomez sounds great but since it's not live action it seems like a wasted casting choice.

John Wick 3, Pet Semetery and Hellboy are the only things I might see but probably wont see them at cinema.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Friday, 18 January 2019 20:47 (five years ago) link

Pet Semetary is by the folks who did Starry Eyes so I'm cautiously optimistic

resident hack (Simon H.), Friday, 18 January 2019 20:53 (five years ago) link

batman, batman returns, beetlejuice are all wonderful

but his best work is sleepy hollow

topical mlady (darraghmac), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:06 (five years ago) link

sleepy hollow and ed wood both v enjoyable; after that he+depp should have broken up.

difficult listening hour, Friday, 18 January 2019 22:10 (five years ago) link

yeah

sweeney todd was rotten

topical mlady (darraghmac), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:12 (five years ago) link

otoh helena bonham carter has continued to be tremendous in his stuff imo, including even alice which is one of the worst movies i've ever seen.

difficult listening hour, Friday, 18 January 2019 22:13 (five years ago) link

Sleepy Hollow's where he fell off completely for me

sans lep (sic), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:14 (five years ago) link

tim burton's early stuff is mostly pretty good, up through ed wood at least, and some of his stop-motion films since have been good

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:14 (five years ago) link

I remember almost nothing about Sleepy Hollow or Sweeney Todd.

Saw the Pet Semetary trailer last time I was at the theater. Looks like good trash, will watch.

composed of atoms just as all posters have been (Dan Peterson), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:14 (five years ago) link

Todd could have been good w/ decent leads

resident hack (Simon H.), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:15 (five years ago) link

xpost inasmuch as it felt completely empty and everything since has looked utterly terrible so I haven't seen it

curious about Big Eyes for Karazewski / Alexander script though

sans lep (sic), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:16 (five years ago) link

Big Eyes kind of sucked; beautiful set design for the home though. Script just didn't work great and that story should have been ore compelling. The Burton touch is very light.

I think the last film of his I enjoyed seeing was Sweeny Todd and not sure how I'd feel about that now. If Corpse Bride counts I'd say that's his last really good film.

akm, Friday, 18 January 2019 22:23 (five years ago) link

pet semetary looks like fun. I'm all for a slew of King reboots and remakes.

akm, Friday, 18 January 2019 22:24 (five years ago) link

oh wow this might be the grimmest one of these lists yet. i'm gonna have to ponder this.

|Restore| |Restart| |Quit| (Doctor Casino), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:26 (five years ago) link

I thought Big Eyes was pretty decent and a nice (sort of) change.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Friday, 18 January 2019 22:32 (five years ago) link

I hope the Playmobil movie sets up the Kinder Eggs trilogy like they've been teasing this whole time. Fan service or not, it's what I want to see.

Scam jam, thank you ma’am (Sparkle Motion), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:34 (five years ago) link

I'm cool with the Starry Eyes peeps but having rewatched it recently I can confirm that Pet Semetary is hardly among the King adaptations begging to be remade.

A Nugatory Excrescence (Old Lunch), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:34 (five years ago) link

Hey I know, even though it's only been a couple of years why not take a stab at a Dark Tower adaptation that somehow avoids being universally panned?

A Nugatory Excrescence (Old Lunch), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:36 (five years ago) link

because the series itself is an actual car crash ending

topical mlady (darraghmac), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:52 (five years ago) link

I hated Burton’s Willy Wonka remake too much to be properly outraged by his Alice. Also, I only got about 30 mins into it.

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Friday, 18 January 2019 23:01 (five years ago) link

Is it a 'remake' of the first movie or a new adaptation of King's book?

because the book is one of his best. No reason someone else shouldn't have a crack at it

Number None, Friday, 18 January 2019 23:41 (five years ago) link

Well, it's an unnecessary readaptation, then.

I still wanna know why no one's taken a crack at The Long Walk yet (possibly my favorite).

A Nugatory Excrescence (Old Lunch), Saturday, 19 January 2019 00:41 (five years ago) link

xpost

You bring up a good point. If this is another go at adapting a well known novel, than it shouldn't be here for the same reason that I didn't include Greta Gerwig's Little Women. I guess it comes down to determining whether the filmmaker is treating the source material as the novel or the earlier adaptations. In both cases, the popularity of these novels likely outweighs the popularity of any one film adaptation of either of them. I shouldn't have included it.

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Saturday, 19 January 2019 01:44 (five years ago) link

Stephen King is the franchise.

Robert Adam Gilmour, Saturday, 19 January 2019 01:48 (five years ago) link

Hey I know, even though it's only been a couple of years why not take a stab at a Dark Tower adaptation that somehow avoids being universally panned?


I don’t know if this is the joke or what but I believe amazon are still going to make their dark tower series even tho nobody gave a shit about the dark tower

gray say nah to me (wins), Saturday, 19 January 2019 09:49 (five years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Thursday, 24 January 2019 00:01 (five years ago) link

Glass was fairly hilarious. bring back two characters nobody's seen in almost 20 years, give them very little dialogue or purpose, and have most of the talking done by the psychiatrist sitting in a chair. 45% of the movie.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Thursday, 24 January 2019 01:47 (five years ago) link

i believe sopranos has a similar idea

topical mlady (darraghmac), Thursday, 24 January 2019 02:20 (five years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Friday, 25 January 2019 00:01 (five years ago) link

Predicting now that the (correct) winner will also make the most money and get a sequel.

E Pluripubis Unum (Old Lunch), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:05 (five years ago) link

I only just learned this morning that somehow Aquaman is a massive, billion-dollar-+ global hit instead of the hideous tanking bomb it so obviously ought to be (this is based on not watching it, because why would I do that to myself?).

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:10 (five years ago) link

Oh, I see Aquaman wasn't even an option. nor Bumblebee.

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:10 (five years ago) link

Both released last year in the states.

Infidels, Like Dylan In The Eighties (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:11 (five years ago) link

Have a vague suspicion that Bumblebee is secretly launching a Transfomers reboot series tho.

Infidels, Like Dylan In The Eighties (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:12 (five years ago) link

heard Bumblebee described as "basically a horse/girl movie"

Norm’s Superego (silby), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:35 (five years ago) link

Bumblebee was actually...fun. slight but fun.

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:35 (five years ago) link

More family friendly

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Friday, 25 January 2019 00:35 (five years ago) link

Have actually heard good things, first non-animated Transformers movie I've had the slightest spark of interest in, sometimes these cynical cash-ins can surprise u

E Pluripubis Unum (Old Lunch), Friday, 25 January 2019 01:43 (five years ago) link

Sorry, I am in Australia and also very old, so for all I know these movies came out in 2014

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 25 January 2019 04:25 (five years ago) link

Child's Play
- assuming this is just the 8th Child's Play by Don Mancini, keep going man. If it's some dumb remake, I hope Mancini gets a bunch of money and wanted to stop

so it turns out this is some dumb remake, but Don Mancini, the creator of Child's Play and writer of every movie and director of most, did NOT want to stop and is now doing a Chucky TV show that may or may not be in a third continuity

Son of Shaft
- afaik the Sam Jackson one was already Son Of Shaft and that was fuckin' NINETEEN YEARS AGO. I'm down if it's Jackson playing his own son this time though

so it turns out Sam Jackson was the NEPHEW of Shaft in the 2000 Shaft, but he is Shaft again in the 2019 Shaft, but now Richard Roundtree (of the 1971 Shaft and Shaft's Big Score (1972) and Shaft In Africa (1973)) is the grandfather of Jacksonshaft's son John Shaft III?

also, it is called Shaft, not Son Of Shaft, probably due to this confusing and dumb situation. wake me up when they have the guts to finally adapt the second novel though

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zjeSwmEp5AY/Tn5dD6e8IBI/AAAAAAAAIaA/7s8cwkonUg4/w1200-h630-p-k-no-nu/Shaft+Among+the+Jews-1.jpg

The Very Fugly Caterpillar (sic), Thursday, 7 February 2019 08:05 (five years ago) link


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