I hear the LOLs echoing tonight but she hears only ROFLs of some quiet EXCELSIOR

slow clap dad joke A+

anyone ever notice that those little dog dishes you put your stuff into at TSA are actually dog dishes? Like, from PetCo and stuff? I wonder how much government money is going to pet stores.
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, January 14, 2019 6:22 PM

No wonder they let vets board first
― Evan, Monday, January 14, 2019 6:30 PM

haaaaa

crushed it

that's a good un

edit for context:

Is it controversial to hate the Kinks, especially Village Green?

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, January 17, 2019 8:36 AM (six hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

pls no kinkshaming

― Effectively Big Jim with a beard. (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, January 17, 2019 9:12 AM (six hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

from the brexit prepper thread:

non-non-toxic succulents can be used to coat arrow tips - though remember to leave the last one for you.

― Andrew Farrell, Saturday, 19 January 2019 16:17 (five hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Lol the effort involved in shooting yourself with a bow

― have you ever seen a VONC's tears? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 19 January 2019 16:37 (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Anyone with any sense knows you half bury the arrow in the ground and leap onto it from a step ladder. It's not rocket science.

i was thinking something involving standing on the drawstring as you lean over the arrowhead

(but i'm pretty sure the lol was intentional and belongs to AF)

soda on the life-changing magic of tidying up

First Reformed is a 2019 limited release here. It did play a festival in 2018. Saw it, but it just felt so 2017 to me.

― Frederik B, Tuesday, January 22, 2019 7:20 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Think we need to rewind, you watched that film some time, probably more than three times, Ethan Hawke's a two-time-nom, two-time-nom.

― Frederik B, Tuesday, January 22, 2019 7:39 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Nice

The three movies from the Top 100 I haven't seen are Shoah, It's a Wonderful Life and Jeanne Dielman

― ebro the letter (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, January 22, 2019 10:25 AM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

three very dark works

― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, January 22, 2019 10:28 AM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

two are very long works

― Your sweetie-pie-coo-coo I love ya (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, January 22, 2019 12:13 PM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

why did Bedford Falls get the works?

― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, January 22, 2019 12:18 PM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

my mum gave us some teething biscuits for our daughter from a company called BICKIEPEGS and occasionally i find the unbearably twee word BICKIEPEGS swimming unbidden into my consciousness and it makes me furious

even worse my daughter has a little drinking cup from BICKIEPEGS called the DOIDY CUP and i am occasionally haunted by the phrase ‘the DOIDY CUP from BICKIEPEGS’ which might be the worst string of syllables i’ve ever heard

― Effectively Big Jim with a beard. (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, January 22, 2019

wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it
http://www.bickiepegs.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/brand-page-banner.jpg

you can get glittery ones too
Plus something called DOIDYPEGS

doidypegs means something different in america i daresay

By the way, "DOIDY CUP from BICKIEPEGS" is the official drinking vessel of the Pete Buttigieg Presidential Exploratory Committee.

two strong entries, who knew

I've never seen any of those films other than the bit of thelma and louise where they drive off a cliff and then it stops,

Seems a shame those women were politically misguided

― anvil, Sunday, 27 January 2019 19:16 (fifteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the 1975 is a psyop

― ciderpress, Tuesday, 29 January 2019 19:08 (yesterday) Permalink

"Maroon 5 is band you're going to be hearing a lot of for many years to come!"

always is fine, 1941 is not fine, ready player one is roughly as embarrassing as your dad announcing over the school PA that he’s here to deliver the diarrhoea medication you accidentally left behind on the breakfast table this morning

― a surprise challenge that ended with a gunging (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, February 13, 2019 2:45 AM (eight hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wtf is going on juggalos are ICP fans and were mentioned before this revive

Also, the whole phenomena of the Juggalo culture associated with Insane Clown Posse.

― Totally different head. Totally. (Austin), Wednesday, February 13, 2019 11:50 AM (six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^alley oop

if u use the modulo operator on homelessness u will be left with a fraction of a homeless guy which you can then roast over an open fire while microdosing

― lag∞n, Friday, February 22, 2019 6:20 PM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

he's not wrong

there are very few of these phrases that actually annoy me because words is words but "made a cool million dollars this year" drives me up the wall.

one of the harry potter books (the biggest one?) has all the characters saying things “coolly” about 600 times

― seedy ron (Autumn Almanac), Friday, March 8, 2019 8:10 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Haha, someone ran a count. 59 times across all the novels.

https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/66dz7t/i_looked_at_the_frequency_of_word_pairs/dgi5qfg/

― jmm, Friday, March 8, 2019 8:17 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

jeez

― seedy ron (Autumn Almanac), Friday, March 8, 2019 8:17 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

coolly high hermione

― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Friday, March 8, 2019 8:21 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

enjoying the media enjoying the chance to hysterically react to a couple of bell-ends running on the pitch
― Carpool Tunnel (Noodle Vague), Monday, March 11, 2019 5:16 AM (nine hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wait are you talking about the unprovoked physical assault or something else?
― Matt DC, Monday, March 11, 2019 5:29 AM (eight hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

spurs fullbacks
― ~mine own~ bitcoin (darraghmac), Monday, March 11, 2019 5:32 AM (eight hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

bravissimo

we normally use Footcelsior to prevent tender Americans from having to go through this tbf

*issues a yellow card*

as a tender American it's really no trouble, but this is a good tip

A 9-year-old thread called "Footcelsior."

It's no wonder why we all go by assumed names here.

in itself the footcelsior moniker was intentionally clumsy fyfi

you ppl worry too much

― xyzzzz__, Thursday, 21 March 2019 22:43 (twelve minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

comrade alphabetical has been stockpiling tinned mung beans since 2015

― mark s, Thursday, 21 March 2019 22:47 (eight minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Mao Tse-mung beans.

― Carmel Sprout (Tom D.), Thursday, 21 March 2019 22:53 (two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the great lupini forward (towards a lol!)

from the thread "A year with swollen appendages (and other ailments): 2019 Detroit Tigers"

20 March

Matches really needn't last more than an hour. Productive chat with Rob about generative bullpen management and fifth base.

*somewhat revolting, unnecessarily descriptive anecdote about potentially making it to "fourth base" with a one-third-his-age concessions employee whose pleasantry was mistaken for flirtation*

Designing alternate pitching motions for Jordan. It seems hopeless.

Pine tar is an utter assault on every sense.

― Andy K, Wednesday, March 20, 2019 7:16 AM (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the cheek of calling me faux naif when ye are governed by that!

― fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 23:01 (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That’s not a naïf. This is a naïf.

― Tim, Wednesday, 27 March 2019 00:08 (nineteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

alligator pea

2,000-odd people voting for Neil Hamilton are beneath contempt really

― Boles to the Wolds (Noodle Vague), Friday, 5 April 2019 07:34 (thirty-four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Have a modicum of respect for they have all since died.

― nashwan, Friday, 5 April 2019 07:36 (thirty-two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

honestly idgi

they are alleged to have been old ppl for the purposes

ah yeah lol slow brain lately

"lately"

Died of shame.

voting shame thresholds have been lowered so much by the tories, ppl are about ready to vote for the Gary Glitter-Hitler party's nazi/UKNambla/disabled euthanasia manifesto without needing smelling salts in the voting booth!

Gary Glitter-Hitler party

I thought only U.S. Citizens could vote for Trump hahahah

there is no 18-24 data for wales so it's the only bit of the map using figures for 18-34

There is no-one in Wales aged 18 to 24.

― Angry Question Time Man's Flute Club Band (Tom D.), Friday, 5 April 2019 16:10 (five hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

too old to leave, too young to dai

― fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Friday, 5 April 2019 16:21 (five hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i actually thought 'someone could excelsior that' but neglected to do so myself. part of the problem

Excelsioring yourself is just the weakest, most desperate shit

deems does this and it's kind of ok but only when he does it cos it's his thing