thread to get over a breakup

Discovered the opposite of a seven year itch. In the last couple of weeks I've dreamt about my ex 4 or 5 times - dreams of still being together or of breaking apart. You're not helping, subconscious.

I wonder if it's a "thing" -- i remember going through it around that time. Realized yesterday that I have no logical reason to have a kitchen table, because I drink coffee in bed and eat in front of the tv, though my ex would have his morning coffee at that table, but he hasn't lived with me for 9 years, so I might as well move that table into the room I use as my office, where it would be useful, and then I can have more room for storage where the kitchen table is now.

I'm sure it is a thing. I'm under the weather and depressive atm and I'm dealing with that consciously as best as I know how so this is Probly some escape valve for my brain. The recurrence is unsettling and annoying tho

also winter

Yeah, especially the darkness

when you find things you hate/have no use for/think are ugly but somehow kept hanging around because your ex liked them and they literally became part of the furniture. Getting rid of those things can be very liberating

i haven't directly read or watched marie kondo, but as i understand, you should ask yourself if those items bring you joy, and then say thank you to them before discarding

i definitely did not follow that advice the last time i was getting over a breakup. i believe i just held the items in my hand for a while, crying, before throwing them in the garbage and drinking heavily

i moved the table into my office, moved my music gear around to take advantage of the space left by the table and actually played/practiced. I am accepting that I won't have that romantic domesticity anymore, and I'm just gonna be a single person with space to play percussion and electronics and have a bunch of books and that is fine.

Drifting towards a similar realisation but not quite at the "it's fine" stage most days

heh - it's only been "fine" for 3 days so ... and it's been 9 years since we split. I feel like I suck at getting over breakups considering how long it's been. The other posters in this thread seem way better at it than me.

I'm mostly over the breakup, despite the last couple of weird weeks. I think part of the process of getting over it was recognising how much it was my fault, and waking up to my bad behaviour. I think that's also partly why I'm resigning myself to a single future - it's hard to meet people looking for a relationship as you get older, and I really don't feel like I'm a catch, or trust myself to do the work to become one, :/

you proposed to plax yesterday!

I know but they never replied ;_;

He likes oatmeal iirc

anyway <3 to all obv