Kim Gordon thinks Cobain was murdered

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In an "Alive and Well" newsletter, Kim Deal said she suspected that Bean Cobian, alias JoJo, gave AIDS to Kurdt Russell.

― Caught Red Handed at Sam's Hofbrau (Bent Over at the Arclight), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:01 (eighteen years ago) link

Get out!

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:10 (eighteen years ago) link

In the first performance of "The Jack," Bon Scott pointed to all the groupies one by one while singing, "She's got the jack!"

― pooooooo, Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:10 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: The film doesn't explain why Kim killed herself. Can you?

COBAIN: I don't even know that she killed herself. There are people close to her who don't think that she did...

UNCUT: Do you believe the theory that Kim was killed by someone else?

COBAIN: I do, yes.

― owen moorhead (i heart daniel miller), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 18:22 (eighteen years ago) link

I hear Kim Gordon thinks Cobain was JUST A KITTEN!

― Eppy (Eppy), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 21:31 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: Do you think that Kurt Cobain killed himself?

GORDON: Yes I do think that Kurt Cobain killed himself.

UNCUT: Do you think that Kurt Cobain was murdered?

GORDON: Yes I do think that Kurt Cobain was murdered.

UNCUT: So who did it?

GORDON: Jon Poneman.

UNCUT: Weird.

GORDON: Yeah.

― billstevejim (billstevejim), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 23:04 (eighteen years ago) link

please tell me that was actual published in uncut.

― Special Agent Dale Koopa (orion), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 23:06 (eighteen years ago) link

The real mystery surrounding Last Days is that video of Michael Pitt's band that comes with the DVD.

― billstevejim (billstevejim), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 23:09 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: The film doesn't explain why Kurt killed himself. Can you?

GORDON: I don't even know that he killed himself. There are people close to him who don't think that he did...

UNCUT: Do you believe the theory that Bean Cobian is Jojo?

GORDON: I do, yes.

― discus (dr g), Thursday, 10 November 2005 00:33 (eighteen years ago) link

Apparently Kim Fields is about to hold a press conference where she plans to announce that Kurtwood Smith gave JoJo Cobian a government-created dose of the clap.

― Caught Red Handed at Sam's Hofbrau (Bent Over at the Arclight), Thursday, 10 November 2005 02:27 (eighteen years ago) link

dude that was the least coherent post I've ever read and I've been here a while and shit

just sayin'

― Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Thursday, 10 November 2005 02:50 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: The film doesn't explain why Kurt killed himself. Can you?

GORDON: I don't even know that he killed himself. There are people close to him who don't think that he did...

UNCUT: Do you believe the theory that JoJo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling is loosely based on Richard Pryor's own life?

GORDON: I do, yes.

― gear (gear), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:12 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: penis

GORDON: Flash, aa-aaaah! He saved every one of us!

UNCUT: sausage

GORDON: Trust the Gordon's fisherman.

― Fellow Player Alonger, Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:16 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: Shall we go, then?

GORDON: Yes, let's go.

They do not move.

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:30 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: You're forgetting one thing

GORDON: What's that?

UNCUT: Peanut Butter Jelly with a baseball bat

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:41 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: I am uncut.

GORDON: Me too.

UNCUT: Do you believe a theory?

GORDON: I have evidence.

BEAN COBIAN: I am jojo.

GORDON: Your dad was murdered.

― discus (dr g), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:49 (eighteen years ago) link

YAKOV: IN SOVIET RUSSIA, MURDER DADS YOU!

UNCUT: That is very fascinating

JOJO BEAN: I AM DOGFACE BOY

JOE PISCOPO: smell my panties

GORDON: FUCK OFF

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:58 (eighteen years ago) link

GORDON: I WAS THE ONE WHO MURDERED.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 04:59 (eighteen years ago) link

GORDON HAS A BEER AND CHEETS ON HIS WIFE

― discus (dr g), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:01 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: So, after all that has happened, who do you think murdered jojo's father?

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:05 (eighteen years ago) link

dying here

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:05 (eighteen years ago) link

JOJO Gordon-Bean: YOU ARE UNCUT.

UNCUT: I am, yes.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:07 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: But setting that aside, what do you think really happened?

JJG-B: YOU ARE UNCUT

UNCUT: ok you got me

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:13 (eighteen years ago) link

Kim Mathers and actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt ("Third Rock from the Sun") have apparently united in an effort to educate the public about the fact that beans can lead to suicide-by-AIDS.

― Caught Red Handed at Sam's Hofbrau (Bent Over at the Arclight), Thursday, 10 November 2005 10:08 (eighteen years ago) link

In a story that may or may not be related, Gordons Gano and Shumway have given an exclusive interview to Bikini that reveals their shared belief that Lil' Kim sent a harmless AIDS-o-Gram to Kurt Schilling (sic).

― Caught Red Handed at Sam's Hofbrau (Bent Over at the Arclight), Thursday, 10 November 2005 10:13 (eighteen years ago) link

GORDON: Eww, it looks like a pig in a blanket.

UNCUT: ;o(

― amon (eman), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:14 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: S

>GORDON goes south.

>You are in a stately mansion. Exits are N and W. You see: COBAIN, a SHOTGUN.

UNCUT: Kill COBAIN

>What do you want to kill COBAIN with?

UNCUT: Kill COBAIN with shotgun

>GORDON shoots COBAIN

― zebedee (zebedee), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:40 (eighteen years ago) link

This thread is murder. Launch a criminal investigation already.

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 17:41 (eighteen years ago) link

xpost, ha ha Infocom.

UNCUT: LAUNCH criminal investigation

> I'm sorry, I can't do that right now.

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 17:46 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: Do you want to come back to my place?

GORDON: I thought you'd never ask.

― Pete Scholtes, Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:34 (eighteen years ago) link

This is an ex-thread.

― Pete Scholtes, Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:35 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.jerzbear.com/media/music/images/17648f.jpg

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:43 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: Do you believe the theory that Kurt was killed by someone else?

GORDON: It was Il Duce in the loft with the shotgun!

UNCUT: By deuce you've done it again, Holmes.

― Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:49 (eighteen years ago) link

hey, this thread got way better.

― Special Agent Dale Koopa (orion), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:52 (eighteen years ago) link

jesus i'm crying

― Fetchboy (Felcher), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:56 (eighteen years ago) link

"I didn't do it!"

http://www.nrk.no/img/376318.gif

(#1 google image search result for "courtney love", btw)

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:14 (eighteen years ago) link

she needs an adams apple

― Special Agent Dale Koopa (orion), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:15 (eighteen years ago) link

lolz

― rentboy (rentboy), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:20 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah he definitely killed himself

― gear (gear), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:25 (eighteen years ago) link

*collapsing in tears of laughter*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:33 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: 'twas beauty who killed the beast.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:44 (eighteen years ago) link

KIM GO-GO Jordan: or...er, perhaps not.

UNCUTE: yeah.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:45 (eighteen years ago) link

UNCUT: Do you believe Mojo Jojo killed Mojo Nixon?

GORDON: I do, yes.

UNCUT: WATERGATE.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 10 November 2005 19:54 (eighteen years ago) link

"Didn't do it! Nope!'

http://www.deansplanet.com/images/celebs/broads/courtney_love/kurts_mistake/scary_courtney_07.jpg

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 21:41 (eighteen years ago) link

"Tell me, was it Courtney?"

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/fine_line_features/last_days/_group_photos/michael_pitt2.jpg

― Ian Christe (Ian Christe), Thursday, 10 November 2005 21:45 (eighteen years ago) link

it's really too much, I shouldn't read this in public!

― Jacobs (LolVStein), Thursday, 10 November 2005 21:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Kurt Cobain's childhood dream that Kim Gordon is his mother comes true in Heaven.

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/fine_line_features/last_days/_group_photos/michael_pitt2.jpg

― Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:16 (eighteen years ago) link

"Mommy you won't let them kill me, will you?"

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:21 (eighteen years ago) link

"Darling, they already have..."

― Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:29 (eighteen years ago) link

(cue eerie music)

― Edward III (edward iii), Thursday, 10 November 2005 22:30 (eighteen years ago) link

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