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scott seward, Sunday, 27 April 2008 00:31 (fifteen years ago) link

Here is a Description of the elastrator tools I use.

1.) Elastrator, with locking handle, heavy duty model.
2.) Elastrator bands, the quarter is there for a size comparison.
3.) Cat's Claws Scissors, the best and safest tool I have found so far for cutting the band off once it is applied.
4.) Smaller Cat's Claw Scissors, there are many types and sizes, the larger type like number 3 works a lot better than the smaller type like this one.
5.) Cuticle Cutters, you can find them in most personal grooming sections, it has a very sharp narrow and strong cutting tip, best if you don't have a Cat's Claw Scissors, but not as safe as the Cat's Claws Scissors because it has a sharp instead of blunt tip to it and the cutting action is not as good, straight instead of curved shears type.
6.) Wire Cutoff Clipper, also called a Diagonal Cutoff Pliers. Much like number 5 but made for electronics work and not as strong, the tip is better in some cases for cutting off the band, the Cat's Claws Scissors are still easier and safer to use in most cases though.
7.) Nail Clippers, they can work at doing it, but are a pain and you cannot cut the band in one clip, you have to more nibble at it a little at a time, getting that last bit can be really hard since it gets very thin and digs in hard.
8.) First Aid Scissors. With the blunt tip they are safer than regular scissors, and slipping it under the band is easier too like that, but you can still catch a bit of skin in cutting if you are not careful, and it still is painful getting it under the band once the band is dug in hard. You need a strong good version, weaker cheaper ones don't cut as well.
9.) Small Child Safe Scissors, not as safe as the First Aid scissors, but safer than regular scissors.
10.) Scalpel, the most dangerous method, you can too easily cut some skin by accident, especially when the band snaps and the skin jumps out suddenly, but it is sharp enough that if you will be using a blade than it will at least be easier and safer than other razor option. This one is a disposable scalpel, the handle is reused but the blades are extremely cheap and thrown away when used, to keep them extremely sharp and sterile.
11.) Package of one disposable scalpel blade.
12.) Letter Opener. I use this sometimes to slip under the band and lift it up, to make it easier and safer to cut. It has all smooth edges, but also is thin and very narrow, so it slips under the band very easily. Lubricant like KY Jelly or Vaseline will make it even easier to use. I would sometimes use this with scissors or razor to more easily and safely cut the band, without having the band right up against the skin and dug into the skin a bit too.
13.) Metal nail file. What I used before I found the letter opener. The letter opener is much smoother and stronger, the nail file is rough and weak, but an option if you don't have anything else handy at the moment.
14.) Blackhead Remover. It looks like it has two very tiny spoons on each end, each with a tiny hole in it. You can find them at most personally grooming sections. I used that also before I found the letter opener was better. This is smooth on all ends, narrow, and easily slips under the band, if you have one it will work well for you to pull that pesky band out from the skin to make cutting it easier.
15.) Benzocaine. This is the generic version, the name brand version is Anbesol, the generic is the same thing but at more than half the cost, just read the bottle for the ingredient Benzocaine and look for 20 percent of it, they come in varying strengths, 20 percent is the strongest you can get over the counter at this time. It is a topical anesthetic, normally used for gum pains like child teething. Use cotton swabs to apply it liberally on your sac about 5 to 10 minutes before you apply the band and it will numb the outer skin quite well, making it far less painful when the band digs in, getting a tool under the band, and that horrible snap when you cut off the band. If you have the band on for a long time dab some more on liberally to keep it numbed.


(Note: In the center of #2, the circle of elastrator rings, is a US Quarter. It is there so that you can get a reference for size.)

The Tools Used

You probably can find some items around your home to fit some of the needs here. For instance, a small narrow tee spoon, or spoon handle, can sometimes work well to get under the band so you can lift it up away from your balls so you can cut the band more easily and safely. Make sure that whatever you use that you have it on hand before you start, and have several types already, smooth is important, as well as safe to use against the skin, that would cut the band but NOT cut the skin in either slipping it under the band or cutting the band off. The band digs into the skin VERY tight, so cutting it off without cutting your sac as well can be a major problem.

Once the band is on, you don't want to then go around in severe pain looking for something to safely cut it off with. Also the band digging in makes it very painful to try to put anything under the band or lift the band up, that is why I have searched hard for smooth narrow objects, and ones that do not have sharp edges that would cut my skin as I am trying to slip it under the band but still have a cutting surface or method of cutting off the band once the tool is in place. So be prepared before you play, this will make the play far easier. Using the Benzocaine or other topic anesthetic is also very important to having fun, because cutting the band off makes a snap that is excruciatingly painful without using something to numb the skin.

My elastrators in both the open and closed positions.
The quarter is there to show you it's relative size. Notice how it has a very small opening, I find it very difficult to get my balls in it, even one at a time.

The upper two images are of the Heavy Duty model, with a locking handle. The lock holds it open while you apply the band, a very good thing to have. But this one does not open as wide, so I got a new one, the lower two images, which do not have a lock on the handle (I miss that a lot) but it at least opens up far easier. This one cost me $18.55 plus tax, shipping, and a dollar for a bag of 100 rings.

I got a newer one now (the lower two pictures in this frame), chrome plated, the opening is larger and far easier for me to get my balls in, but if you have very large balls than you still may have trouble or even not be able to get them in, however that is as large an opening as they get for an elastrator, since they are meant for small young animals. One problem with the chrome plating is that the tines that hold the rings are very slippery, the ring can slip off, and you DON'T want that happening while in the process of applying the band, like if it slipped off ONTO your balls, that would really hurt and possibly cause some damage to your balls.
I suggest you try ruffing up the tines on the chrome plated type, if that is what you get, or at the very least bending back the tines a bit so that when the band slips on the tines it would naturally slip more onto the tines than off the tines entirely, but don't bend them too much or you will have problems getting the band on the tines. I got the chrome plated one from www.cowdoctor.com, for only $7.99 plus tax and shipping.

If your balls will not fit into the elastrator at all than you need to get a different type of tool, called a Bander, it applies a band of surgical tubing around the balls, tightens them, and then puts a metal clip on it to keep them tight. A bander is much more expensive though, over $200, and many times can be hard for one person to "self" apply. The EZ bander makes a one man operation much easier if you can get one of them.

You can get the elastrator or a bander from Nasco Farm & Ranch, 1-800-558-9595 www.nascofa.com or you can buy the chrome plated elastrator from www.cowdoctor.com.

Don't forget to order bands with the elastrator, they do not come with the bands, but bands are cheap, usually around $1 for a bag of 100 bands. They also do NOT come with instructions on the use of an elastrator, I had to figure it all out on my own and do my own research, that is one reason I decided to make this page, for those who would need to know but would not know how if they were not told. It is assumed that those who buy such things already know how to use one, and finding instructions anywhere on how to use them is almost impossible.


My Heavy Duty Elastrator (older one)

Elastrator Closed Elastrator Open

My New Chrome Elastrator

Chrome Elastrator Closed Chrome Elastrator Open

(Note: The green band on the handle of the image to the right is there to hold the elastrator open so you can see how large it opens up. Normally you hold it open with your hand, not with that green band, but for the picture I had to figure out a way to keep it open without me holding it for the picture.)
Here is myself before I apply the band. Shaving my pubes makes it far easier, those pesky hairs can get in the way and also be painful as they get tugged around, but the main reason I shave that area is that I hate body hair, most especially hair on my balls or dick. IF I could I would shave all my body hair on a regular basis, but that is way too much to do on a regular basis, though I have done it on a few occasions. Also notice that my ball sac is very tight to my body, that makes it especially hard to elastrate. I have tried stretching my ball sac, but it stubbornly insists on hugging my body like this. My balls and penis are average sized, but my sac is not the low hanger I wish it was.

Myself Before Elastrated
Here I am stretching the sac in order to apply the band, it will not stay stretched unless I keep it like this.

Getting My Balls Ready
Here I am forcing one ball in first. I choose the largest ball, and force it in one at a time. The newer chrome plated one has more room, but this one here was a real problem trying to get even one ball in at a time, I had to squeeze the ball hard and force it through with some force, which of course is painful and ruins the fun for me.

Squeezing The First Ball In The Band

On the first image I have one ball in and am attempting to get the second one in. Believe it or not, it is harder to get the second one in, even though one is in already by now. I usually take a break once I get both in, and let the tool hang on my balls with it locked open for a few minutes, to let me catch my breath and allow my ball aches to go away before I slide the band off and have fun.

Notice how the tines are pointing TOWARDS my body, that is the proper way to have it positioned when applying a band. Once the band is over both balls and I am ready to release the band onto my ball sac, I feel for the cords to my testicles and the soft spongy tissue at the top of my balls, and make sure that I will not be releasing the band onto that soft tissue and that the cords are going to be cut off clean by the band, and not twisted or bunched up. I then release the band carefully, close to my body, once the band is on my sac I take the tool off and then slide the band more towards my balls, you need slack from your ball sac towards your penis or you will have problems with erections and much discomfort.


Squeezing The Second Ball In The Band Elastrator Over Both My Balls, Ready To Release Band

Here you can see the band properly applied. The bruising you see is from some earlier play with pins into my balls, not related to this banding. You can also see how tight it is for me with my sac still trying to hug by body with the band over my balls. Especially if you have a tight sac like mine than you must be sure you have as much slack as possible on the side of your body. If you have low hangers than you can either slide the ring up to your balls or slide the ring halfway between your balls and your body, whatever you like best. Just be sure that you have left enough skin on your body's end so that when you have an erection AND you masturbate with one that you have enough skin for that from your sac, and are not tugging skin from the band.



Band On My Balls Close Up Band On My Balls

Here you can see the band with a hard on.
Cool looking hugh. :))))

This is my favorite part, sexy, hot, feels good, having fun.

You can also see here why it is important to have enough skin from your sac so that you can have a comfortable erection. But also, if I were to really cut my balls off here and had not left enough skin from my balls on the side of my body, then getting an erection alone could cause the band to slip off and leave you with a nasty open wound and an embarrassing trip to the hospital.

Band On My Balls With A Hard On

Here I am cutting off the band, since I am only doing this for play at this time. It has an aweful snap to it when it is cut, that stings like a son of a bitch, beware of that, have some ointment ready for the irritation that will cause, and use the Benzocaine I mentioned to help make that sting a lot less.

I slip the Cat's Claw Scissors under the band sideways, once it is fully under the band I then turn it carefully (so as to not catch any skin by accident) and then carefully close the blades till it cuts the band off (again being careful not to accidentally catch any skin in the blades while cutting off the band). This type of scissors is the safest and easiest method I have found so far to cut the band off without accidentally cutting your sac at the same time, the band does dig in quite deep, so getting one without the other is not easy.

I had to remove the spring and safety catch on the scissors to make it work for me, but that was easy to do. Normaly they are made not to open all the way, for safety reasons, but for this use you need it to open all the way up, so you may have to remove a spring and/or safety catch on yours too if you buy one.


Getting The Cutter Under The Band

To see more pictures of my balls elastrated you can
go to this link.
My Balls Elastrated Gallery

Cutting The Band

Here I am preparing to put the band on my penis, instead of my balls. This is far more risky than doing your balls, so do this only at your own risk. But you will see how easily it will elastrate my penis, easier than it is to elastrate my balls. However do NOT elastrate your penis while it is fully hard, nor while it is fully soft, do it while it is semi-erect. The reason is that you can do more damage to the veins and insides when not erect at all, but fully erect you could burst a blood vessel by banding it because when you apply the band you force some extra blood towards the part of your penis above the band, and if already hard before you start that will mean you can cause too much blood pressure to be present and cause a blood vessel to burst or worse.


Elastrator Ready To Band My Penis

I pull my penis through it, trying to get as much in the band as possible, but I do NOT release the band until I am sure that my penis is neither too hard nor too soft. Applied properly you should have a naturally erect penis with the band on, the same hardness as if you just had a normal hard on during sex. I also slip the band off CAREFULLY. Do NOT let it just slip off, it could cause brusing or other injurings, instead try to slip it off one tine at a time, carefully, so that it does not snap onto your penis but instead will just gently slide off in the end.

Also note that the tines are pointing INTO my body, not towards my penis, so I can get as much of my penis banded as possible.


Stretching My Penis To Get The Band On All The Way
Here you can see the band on my penis. If you look carefully you can see a blood vein bulging on my penis, and it is not even fully erect here. Imagine how much worse it could be if you applied the band while fully erect, beware of that. With practice you will know exactly how hard your penis should be before you slip the band off the tines and onto your penis to elastrate it.

Band On The Base Of My Penis

Some more pictures of my penis banded, the one to the right is after about an hour or more, I did not time it but that is about right. Since there is blood already in my penis when I banded it, it can go that long and not go gangarene on me, but that does not mean it is safe or that it could not happen to you. There are no stats for this, no surveys, no valid studies, so if you decide to do it than proceed with extreme caution and realize you are taking on an extreme risk, and please do not think that just because it was OK for me that it would be OK for you, we are all different and I can just be lucky as well.

See how the band digs in. If I had put it on fully soft than it would possibly do damage to the veins, maybe cause erection problems, probably cause circulation or nerve damage, and more. By having some blood engorged in the penis already, the erectile tissue acts as a protection against the more vulnerable areas. Also if you did not have some blood engorged in your penis already than you have less oxygen and nutrient reserve, so 20 minutes elastrated soft can do FAR more permanent damage than a whole hour while almost erect would. Keep in mind though what I said about not putting the band on while fully erect, the pressure that increases when you put the band on cannot escape and could cause blood vessles to burst in that case.


Another View Of The Band On My Penis Penis Stretched To See The Band On It Better

Here is just another view, also more than an hour into the banding, but I do not know exactly how long. I have gone as long as 2 hours, possibly a little more since I did not time the longest one either, I was having too much fun. :)

But going that long took a lot of sensation from my penis, permanently, beware of that. Some will return, but not all, and it then is more vulnerable to subsequent bandings because even though some nerves can recover they are very weakened from their ability to recover again in the future if you do this again. Also the brusings you see are from piercing with needles I did for fun, they had not healed fully when I banded it for these images, but it does not have anything to do with the banding itself. However you WILL many times get some bad bruising and swelling where the band was, which may last a while, days or weeks. If you band again immediately after taking a band off I have also found bruising is more severe.

(Note: Just because "I" was able to go as long as 2 hours does NOT mean you can, nor does it mean it is safe to go that long, nor does it mean that if I went 2 hours again that I am safe myself.)


To see more pictures of my penis banded you can go to this link
Penis Elastration Gallery

Band On My Penis, Showing Skin Darkening

To read more about how I am numbing my penis by using an elastrator, you can go to this link
How I Numb My Penis

The elastrator is made for small young animals, not for adult large humans. It can be fun for play, and it has worked for a few to really castrate themselves with, but it really is the wrong tool to use if you seriously want to castrate yourself this way. If that is your goal than get the EZ Bander, or another banding device, they use surgical tubing and a winch to synche it down far tighter and stronger than the elastrator ever could, then puts a metal clip on it and cuts off the extra tubing. A bander will cost you $200 or more, but that is not much if you consider how much a castration operation costs and what you are using it for. You can get one at Nasco Farm & Ranch (1-800-558-9595) www.nascofa.com

Now to settle some rumors/myth versus reality.

Just because someone may have successfully castrated themselves with an elastrator or bander, or other self castration method, does NOT mean that it is safe or that they even did it properly. Some people are just plain lucky, the unlucky are not alive to tell you the wrongs they did. I am many times asked what the safest method is for castration. If safety is your primary concern, then NO castration is the ONLY safe method. If you must get castrated though, then a licensed doctor WITH good references from several patients he has castrated already is the safest way and only method I recommend.

Many think that the Burdizzo or Elastrator/Bander is safe and/or easy, and painless. (A Burdizzo looks like a huge pair of pliers or a huge clamp, that crushes your testicle cords without having to cut open the sac to do so, the testicles than atrophy inside your body and become functionless.) Well it is easy, but not safe, and it can be botched in more ways than I have room here to fit. If the Burdizzo is not used properly by an experience person it can cause lifelong testical pain that I am sure you do not want, but not get you castrated, also it is VERY painful. Another myth, that such methods are painless, even advertised to be painless to animals, that is bullshit, ask anyone that has ever used on on himself, elastrators, banders, Burdizzos, are all VERY painful to use. Of all, the Burdizzo is the one I hear the most about people who have done it wrong and have many painful regrets.

Many think, and it is highly advertised for animals as being so, that you can band or elastrate the balls and then let them just die and drop off in a matter of six weeks. Well for an animal it can and has been done, same for a human, but it is NOT the method you want to do. You have an EXTREME risk of blood poisoning from gangarene if you do so, I don't care how many bands you put on it. Also an elastrator band could fall off before the wound is fully sealed but the skin is loose enough to break free, causing a life threatening situation. Some know this and do a band and cut method, that is the safest method of banding/elastrating, but remember that I said NO method is safe, this carries many risks, but is at least safer than letting them stay on till they fall off on their own. Two of the most common bad results from cut and band is either the band still lets some blood ooze, especially with the elastrator band, or the band falls off early and you can bleed to death in minutes, as well as risk of infections and other risks.

If you are going to do a band and cut method with an elastrator band, then use at least three bands, one immediately next to the other. This way if one falls off you still have backups, and it is more likely to fully seal the blood flow. The Bander, not to be confused with an elastrator band, is better, but still I would use two bands just in case, one band could work well IF you apply it correctly and strong enough. The bands must be fresh and do NOT use any petrolium lubrication like Vaseline, otherwise you can get early failure from fatigue or deterioration of the rubber. Keep the area as sterile as possible, use sterile latex disposable gloves, and use as sharp a blade as you can get (like a disposable scalple), being sure to maintain absolute sterile conditions. Disposable scalples can be found on BME, Nasco Farm & Ranch, and other sites on the net. Make sure you apply the band so that you leave enough extra skin from the sac on your body so that erections and/or sex will not be hindered by lack of skin, some scrotal skin is used for your penis in an erection. Otherwise just your nightly erections can cause the bands to slip off, as well as cause many problems in sex or erections.

When applying the band, feel for your testicle cords through your sac. A very hot bath for 20 minutes before you start would help with this. Shave the area as well, or use a male hair remover to that area. You want to have the band make a clean cut across the cords, and you do not want to accidentally catch part of the soft gelly like tissue at the top of your testicles either. Put the band on closer to your body when you apply it, remove the tool, then slip the band closer to your balls so that you have some scrotal skin slack for your penis to get erections without struggling for skin.

Make sure that you also leave enough skin AFTER the band, if you cut too close to the bands than there is not enough skin for the bands to grab hold of with normal everyday movements and stretching. Keep the area sterile as it heals, changing dressings at least twice a day, use sterile dressings with a good antibacterial ointment. Make sure the ointment is fresh too, many people do not realize that they expire and are do not work after a certain amount of time on the shelf. In about 6 weeks time the area will heal and the bands will almost pull off easily on their own. Beware that the area will get very smelly, since you have dead skin there rotting away, so try to keep it dry as well, but wash it with lots of soap and water twice a day, preferably an antibacterial soap. If you have any signs of infection than go to the doctor or hospital, that area is an incubator for germs, and many major veins/arteries are in the immediate area. It is better to face some embarrassment and questions than to loose one's life over such fears.

Some have used wire, wire ties, leather cords, and other items, in place of elastrator or other castration bandings. That is not advised for anything other than play, they would not work properly long term, nor would they cut off the blood supply as well. Metal especially is a problem unless it is stainless stell, it can cause major health problems against the skin long term. Regular rubber bands will NOT hold long enough or be strong enough for a real castration either. The bandings used for Banders or Elastrators are specially designed to be strong and long lasting, but even they can fail too soon if too old, not stored properly, or exposed to petrolium products or some other chemicals. If you are doing this for a real castration than ONLY "sterile" KY type gelly should be used if you must use some lubricant, emphasis on sterile. You can find sterile lubricating gelly at your local pharmacy. Remember that play and reality do not mix well. If you are seriously going to castate yourself using bandings than some play methods will not work or may even kill you. Have a partner at ALL times as well, even for play, just in case something goes wrong, but most especially if you are going to do this for real.

As you can see I also elastrate my penis. That is great for fantasy but if you are considering cutting off your penis using this method than realize that it is not as easy and safe as it may look. Of course you have to pee while it heals, a regular catheter will not work, the band would cut it off as much as it cuts off the blood supply. An elastrator band really is NOT strong enough to fully cut off the blood supply either. When I elastrate my penis I still get some small amount of blood into my penis, I know this because it gets a bit harder by the time I have to cut off the band than it was when I applied the band. Also you have erectile tissue at the base of your penis that would still be there, and getting an erection after cutting off the exposed part of your penis could push the band off and cause major hemoraging, you could die in minutes. Remember that this is a very large vein we are talking about here, actually three large veins, one to either side of the penis and one smaller one in the center, but still far larger than the veins in most of your body. I have a whole page dedicated to just my elastrating my penis, you can get to it by clicking on the link to the right here. How I Numb My Penis

Even for play there is more risks in banding your penis than there is in banding your balls. Some risks are loss of the abiltity to get an erection, inability to get an orgasm from lack of sensations (permanent loss of sensations if you do it long enough), gangarene which causes blood poisoning (and from a vein that would poison your blood stream directly, very dangerous if you had it on too long), blood poisoning from having the band on in the first place (as the band is on the blood is not able to dispose of toxins that the blood normally carries away from cells, so the toxins build up. Removing the band can introduce a sudden flow of toxins directly to the heart and lungs, brain, and other vital parts of your body), bursting a blood vessel, internal bleeding, brusing and discomforts that can be painful for days and intense swelling (especially where the band was applied), urethral damage (which can make simple peeing very painful but also can cause an infection internally that makes you have to go to the bathroom to pee all day long even though there is nothing to pee out, not a pleasant situation, very similar to a bladder infection), more than usual vulnerability to venerial disease (if you have or have had VD than the risks are greatly increased since VD also causes damage to the urethra, but also if say you have Herpies than you could make that problem several times worse as well by banding your penis, you have weakened all the cells in your penis by doing this, making it a breeding ground for such things with not as good a defense as you body used to have against it), infections, and more. This is only a short list, definitely not all inclusive, but it gives you an idea of the risks you take if you do this.

Before you do any of this, especially if you plan on a real castration, then realize and accept in advance that you may very much have to go to a doctor or the hospital if anything goes wrong. Plan for that, have a friend with a car ready just in case, and do not delay calling for help if you must. Please do NOT let fear of exposure of what you have done keep you from getting the emergency help you need. Most have had to go to the Emergency Room, keep that in mind, MOST, and most of them got over that and went on with life, embarrassments or phsychiatric evaluations usually do not last long if you are an intelligent and sane person. In most cases they do not like what you did, but many times such doctors have heard of or experienced worse or similar, and as long as you are not crazy you will be let out soon, most times the next day or few days later, to go on with your life. Don't let fear keep you from the help you need if things go wrong.

What is more important to concern yourself with than this is to be SURE, absolutely sure, that castration is right for you, before you do this to yourself. Many people have a hard time differentiating between that they love in fantasy versus what that would really be like for them in reality. For many fantasy is all it should be, and there is nothing wrong with that at all, enjoy it and have fun. You cannot put back those parts once done. If you are sure you want a real castration though, then get chemical castration from a doctor that specialized in Transexuals, so you can at least try out castration before you do it for real. Even though you are not a transexual those types of doctors are the types that would most likely understand and sympathize with men who want castration but not a sex change, in fact I am sure they have seen several already. Such a doctor could also get you the operation for castration in many cases, if you have been in their care long enough for them to know for sure this is what you want and your decision is soundly based, and especially if you have been on chemcial castration therapy with them for at least a year and still want the real thing. Like I said, if you must get castrated,
a licensed doctor is the safest way.

(Note: I am not a doctor, nor a professional, I am only sharing what I have learned and some of my experiences. I can be wrong, I am only human. Do you own research, it is YOUR life at stake here if you try these things, and beware that the risk can be many and life threatening. I do not take any responsibility for anyone that uses this information and has complications due to it. This is for informational purposes only, not intended to be used as a course on self castration.)

So there you go, I hope it was descriptful enough for you. If you have questions that you feel should be answered on this page,
or you have suggestions for additional content or warnings for this page, than please let me know,
suggestions are taken seriously and appreciated.

scott seward, Sunday, 27 April 2008 00:32 (fifteen years ago) link

Well that pretty much explains it.

filthy dylan, Sunday, 27 April 2008 00:44 (fifteen years ago) link

:-/

jim, Sunday, 27 April 2008 00:44 (fifteen years ago) link

What is more important to concern yourself with than this is to be SURE, absolutely sure, that castration is right for you, before you do this to yourself.

^^ truth bomb

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 27 April 2008 01:28 (fifteen years ago) link

http://img505.imageshack.us/img505/3279/pancakeslq9.jpg

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Saturday, April 26, 2008 9:16 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

^^ truth bombs

sanskrit, Sunday, 27 April 2008 01:41 (fifteen years ago) link

^^http://www.canyoncourt.com/package_images/dennys_logo_lg.gif

am0n, Sunday, 27 April 2008 04:10 (fifteen years ago) link

jesus fucking christ on the mother fucking cross

TOMBOT, Sunday, 27 April 2008 07:22 (fifteen years ago) link

but the first tmnt movie was filmed in 1989

kingfish, Sunday, 27 April 2008 07:42 (fifteen years ago) link

Why did I just read even a fifth of that :|

Trayce, Sunday, 27 April 2008 08:09 (fifteen years ago) link

According to an interview in Ornette: Made in America, Shirley
Clarke's movie about Ornette Coleman, he asked a doctor to castrate
him, but the doctor convinced him that getting circumcised would be
enough.

Ward Fowler, Sunday, 27 April 2008 09:25 (fifteen years ago) link

A friend of my dad's used to work in a group home for the mentally disabled. One of the residents had been watching an educational program about monks of some kind who castrate themselves as a means of being closer to enlightenment (this is the explanation I was given, I don't know a thing about that, what sort of monks or anything...), and later he came by to check on him, catching him with his balls out and just going to town on them with a child's safety scissors. He didn't get far (I'M IMPLYING SOME SMALL AMOUNT PROGRESS HERE), but jeeezus. I can never think of that story without the mental picture of a scrotum rolling around the "blades" of that scissors.

RabiesAngentleman, Monday, 28 April 2008 13:50 (fifteen years ago) link

My friend's mom worked at a school for the mentally impaired as a helper or something. One time she left the class unattended for a short period and when she came back four or five of the students were missing. She found them in the bathroom having sex. It caused a huge uproar and made the news.

filthy dylan, Monday, 28 April 2008 15:10 (fifteen years ago) link

WHOA. Shit man.

You know, for some reason I don't totally understand I always read your posts and in my head imagine you're Dylan Ny0uki$. Not completely sure why. Weird thing is a friend of mine who also lurks/posts here a bit said the exact same thing to me (we were talking about the brainbombs?) and we had this "whoah wtf you too" moment. It was weird.

RabiesAngentleman, Monday, 28 April 2008 16:13 (fifteen years ago) link


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