the Artie Lange appreciation thread

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/artielange1.html

"Howard spoke to the elusive Artie Lange yesterday. He said Artie is fine and planning on returning on Monday. Howard mentioned something about Artie's stomach not feeling well but said it's up to Artie whether or not to tell the full story on the air on Monday. Howard did say that Artie was feeling pretty embarrassed at this point and knows everyone has been goofing on him. But he sounded good and promised he'd be back after the weekend. Howard also suggested that Artie see a shrink but Artie didn't sound like he really wanted to."

yeah, something to the effect of there being no god.

Does anyone have a transcription of his "Murderous bookie on Ash Wednesday" story?

Great story!! I rarely listen but I was lucky enough to catch this little gem. For me, Lange is definitely the Stern's show saving grace.

And to Norm MacDonald: 'You've got a personality like a dead moth. Why don't you get a horse and go live in a cave and don't bother anybody.'

Shakey don’t google Daniella Westbrook

So brutal

I don’t even know wtf is going on there. Cocaine dissolving pretty much all cartilage?

Or additives to it, and friction from snorting various things, yes.

I mean we’ve all seen addicts at their near worst, but that’s... kind of a new thing in my experience.

circa 1916 don’t google Daniella Westbrook

The "I accidentally snorted glass" story from a couple years ago I guess was true

Fall ‘19 looking like a good time for baby gorilla

Great to be home! 7 months 14 days sober but one day at a time. Lots of new stories to tell. Will announce some new tour dates on Friday. Thanks for the support. Love you all. pic.twitter.com/vkdN7gMCSI

— Artie Lange (@artiequitter) September 10, 2019

holy shit, good for him

Yeah. Stunned.

Hoping for the best. I'd see him if he comes thru

Exactly 8 months clean and sober today guys. I love u all for giving me yet another shot. You’re my extended family. My amazing fans. One day at a time. Peace. pic.twitter.com/lopduct42B

— Artie Lange (@artiequitter) September 30, 2019

He looks like some sort of Jim Henson studio Burt Reynolds puppet with its nose pressed against a windowpane.

I wonder if baby gorilla is at the Yankees game tonight and if he’s considering a relapse considering

it's really saying something that you can that picture and be....hey Artie's looking better

right

Goddamn that would be so cool though if he really does make it

https://i.redd.it/pdrqpycdt0t31.jpg

Is that Lisa G?

yes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjMGOaDPav8

always nervous about revives on this thread tbh

Great reunion with fat Joe
Liked hearing the Mitch stuff near the end
Harrowing tales about getting into cabs in unknown cities and trying to score

Artie makes an antipast order
https://vimeo.com/372697342

Ham
Cheese
Salami
Pepperoni
Scungill
Suppasad
Brezzhout
Gabagool
Fresh muzzadel
Wet muzzadel
Galamad
?
Roasted pepperS
Stuffed peppers
Artichokes
‘Scarole!
Sundried tomatoes
Fresh tomatoes
Broccoli rabe

Haha that Mitch bit is great

? = “pignol nuts”

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/artie-langes-halfway-house/id1489428604

xp wow, it's good to see him look so healthy. i was never even a fan, but i like seeing people turn it around.

https://i.imgur.com/JHT1ak0.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/hkY5c0z.jpg

there's nothing as potent as "box of rain" on loaded,

That I’d love to hear

https://i.imgur.com/TVJ1POc.jpg

Hope hes doin OK doin Zoom NA

Love baby gorilla

Felt OK opening the thread this time since the rolling obit thread wasn't updated

Baby gorilla surfaces

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvCS6Dj3ZhA

Another dispatch:

“You can find Arties new podcast, "Letters to Artie", by signing up for free at https://www.thecomicsgym.com/, but I have it right here:”

https://d1s2mr34drfhgh.cloudfront.net/videos/9a66116f0b9b6fb8208da53866b729b0.mp4

More sober talk about recovery.

How’s Artie been doing, anyway? Somebody in Portland tagged “Where is Artie Lange?” on a highway wall

In one of these recent updates he mentioned that after the nose drama ended, he started ramping up the number of appearances etc only to find himself moving too fast. My guess is he’s hiding out in his condo in Hoboken but I have no idea if he’s still on the wagon

God I hope so

Happy to announce that I’ve completed the NJ drug court program. Thx to my family and friends and fans for all your support

— Artie Lange (@artiequitter) July 14, 2022

"if i was a winner, i'd be home right now with a wife and a couple of kids, who were going into college, and i'd be fuckin buying them a car or something. i'm forty seven years old. i'm still in hotels, doing clubs. i'm doing radio interviews with guys i pretend to know. these guys on the radio are like, 'HEY GUESS WHAT ARTIE LANGE'S COMING UP. ARTIE LANGE'S HERE. HEY, ARTIE, DID YOU SHIT YOUR PANTS ONCE ON COCAINE? TELL US ALL ABOUT IT. WE LOVE YA. YEAH, HE TOLD THAT STORY ONCE...' on a radio show that doesn't exist anymore. and uh... you know, radio doesn't exist anymore. radio doesn't exist anymore. that's how big howard was. ... it's over. and if i wasn't a heroin addict that spent all my money on drugs, i wouldn't have to do this shit. but here i am, begging you to subscribe to some podcast. who the fuck even knows what this is?"

― dylannn, Wednesday, April 1, 2015 7:47 AM (two years ago)

― XxxxxxxXxxxxxxxxXxxxx (dylannn), Saturday, December 9, 2017 3:06 PM (four years ago)

good to see he's doing well.

"bob levy is basically jeffrey dahmer, if he read a joke book. and, you know, that sounds a little harsh but i love the guy. and, uh, he gets out there on the internet and stalks these women and throws out this web of... deceit and sleaziness and hair dye and bad coke, whiskey beer breath, and cheap fuckin target shirts and coupons for sizzlers two-for-one steak on a wednesday, forty thousand dollar house just outside of philly, which somehow has a built-in pool [gary: it came with the house], have no idea what the fuck that looks like... uhhhh... his poor child who's being raised by a father who's just not there and a mother who hates being with the father... the father's in the basement, it's damp, clearly doesn't have the proper heat or air conditioning, somehow he gets over to this disgusting, jizz-drenched, stinky, whiskey-sodden computer board and types out, 'who's out there? who's out there in fuckin virgin creep land that i can try to fuck with my web of grossness?' and eventually he gets some takers, some poor women who have a background that's clearly, uh... troubling... this girl has father issues, her father is some mad irish drunk and uh [gary: we don't know that] she has dyed black hair...."

― dylannn, Monday, 20 May 2013 18:11 (nine years ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/X6kZoLD.png

This is a clip of Artie telling a story about Norm MacDonald and Matthew Perry to Gilbert Gottfried. Of those 4, only Artie is still with us.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kf9D1Sos10