Noisy Neighbours

The walls in this council flat are paper thin. When I moved in, there was a Mancunian living here who used to invite all his drug dealer friends home from Herbal and large it at about 4am. We had a row so bad that first the landlady came upstairs, then she called the police. The next morning she changed the locks.

In moves this very quiet, rather sensitive novelist. We get along fine for several months. Until quiet, sensitive novelist develops writers block and GOES SLOWLY MAD ... as writers do. The night before our record release party, (when I'd gone to bed early to get plenty of rest) he came home from the pub just before midnight and started blasting his banging techno again. Cue massive fuckoff row so bad that I gave my notice to move out.

A few days later, he mysteriously disappears. Turns out that while my landlady and I were both at the record release party, he blasted his music so loud that the NEIGHBOURS came round and complained. What happened next is a matter of dispute, but he gave his notice and he has barely shown his face round here all month.

He says now he wants to move "somewhere he can listen to loud music late at night." Yeah, buddy, when you find it, let me know where it is, cause I am NEVER coming round. You have the right to play music loud at night the day that you buy your own house, with at least a quarter of a mile of empty space in each direction. I'm a freaking musician, supposedly the loudest, most inconsiderate bunch on earth, yet if I have the urge to listen to ANYTHING after 11pm on a weeknight, I use headphones. It's called neighbourly courtesy.

The end. Grrrrrr, now I'm all upset and unhappy and worked up and I wonder if I can get Joolz to give me a toerub to calm me down.

(expecially when all they listen to is the same three early 80s AOR songs over and over again)

This will cure any flatmate of any noise. Turn your amp up all the way. Turn your guitar up all the way. Balance guitar on top of amp. Play with any pedals you have handy, to render the feedback even more piercing and annoying. Keep going until your housemate's ears bleed. If they complain, turn off amp, remove earplugs from ears and say "huh? sorry, I couldn't hear you."

Repeat any time your housemate's music bothers you, and they will soon stop.

We had this guy next door (incidentally in the same flat as the above-mentioned wannabe gangsta) who was this just-out-of-home kid with a Karaoke machine. He would sing the same Herbie song a quarter-tone flat, at the top of his lungs, at maximum amplification, for hours on end. He was so loud that neighbours came to complain. Neighbours who were over a block away.

Despite complaints and eviction threats, he continued to sing really, really badly and really, really loudly. Eventually, we called the landlord ourselves and shortly afterwards he was evicted. If I had the chance, I would beat him to death with his own shoes. Brat.

As if that wasn't enough, he gave his key to some friends of his who went and squatted in his now former apartment. We had the nasty business of kicking them out on behalf of the more vulnerable tenants of the same building.

I don't understand how people can just harbour exactly zero consideration for people other than themselves. Even when I'm blasting music at 3 in the afternoon I feel a little pang of guilt, let alone in the evenings or the middle of the night! Fuck those cunts. Bastards.

This why you should not piss off smart people.

My brother, while at Columbia, had a problem with his dormmate's stereo. (In Columbia, they put the students in these weird dorms with suites, supposed to mimick actual apartments... yeah, where the fuck in Manhattan are you going to find apartments that big?) Then he discovered that one wall socket outlet in his room was hooked up to their circuit breaker, while the others were on his own circuit. So he built this electrical device which he hooked up to the rogue socket which had the sole purpose of overloading the system and tripping the circuit breaker. Every time their stereo was too loud, he turned his evil machine on. The suitemates learned through Pavlovian reinforcement not to play their stereos too loud, as they thought it was the stereo tripping the circuit breakers. Mwah hah hah, even the Ivy League is full of stupid cunts.

Do I have to have asked them to turn it down first?

They also like to have music on loud enough for them to hear it in the garden. I wouldn't mind if it was decent music but dinner jazz really is very, very vile.

They are all cunts.

If you haven't asked AT ALL, yes, it's cuntist. If you've asked repeatedly and had them simply ignore your requests and/or repeat the noise instrusions, then DESTROY SHOWING EXTREME PREJUDICE.

or squealing saxophones.

its great it really is.

As if that wasn't bad enough, then they moved in their entire extended family! I think there's probably 8-10 people in a two bedroom apartment. There's just talking and yelling in the hallway all hours of the day and night, people coming and going, etc. The worst part of all is last night, I could hear the little girl (about 10, not the baby) living there just screaming and crying for a disturbing period of time. I have no idea what's going on in there, all I know is that I'll be glad to be out of here when the lease is up in April.

Yes, and me a Bauhaus fan and all.

Nicole, you don't live in Queens by any chance, do you? Cause those sound exactly like the wife-beating child-abusing cuntists that drove me from home in Astoria.

hehe...we'll that's why i like 'em. the devil's music.

Also, I had always wondered until that period in my life who it was who collected those terrible plates with drawings of old cottages and puppies on (always by someone like 'Best Puppies On Plate Painter Nominee 1987'), that you see advertised in the Radio Times. The demographic turned out to be 28 year old 6'3" bikers. I hadn't guessed.

This is, indeed, the best way of dealing with things. (no sarcasm) I hate these people.

I knocked on the door at 3:30 AM and politely asked them to turn it down, which they did...slightly. I know they were smashed and your volume judgement tends goes out the window, but that's not much comfort when you're tossing and turning at 5 AM. We've always tried to be super quiet if we come back late from a club, and that's always at weekends and not on a work night. (we're all 9-5 Mon-Fri types)

So - I just loved facing my last day of work on two hours of sleep. Not all of us have finished for the chrismas break...

But hey, they didn't get a lie in. My boyfriend buzzed their intercom on the way out to work, and I played a nice selection of party hip hop (Edan, Mos Def) before I left. I heard signs of life as I was leaving, ha!

Godfucking downstairs neighbour's band playing over 3 hours now. what a day to have a hangover. "WWWOOOOO"

oh goody a drum solo noqw

hearing your neighbours peeing - classic/dud? I can't decide, there's a sense of comfort to it but there is also a sense of TMI.

Can you hear plops from poopy

do tell

important update I can't hear the neighbours anymore and the worlds a beautiful place

yay :)

and no more broken windows?

nah not so far I'm kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop but for now I'm nearly happy by god

glad to hear it, 'nearly happy' is the most mortals can hope for

(that sounds so depressing which is not what i intended)

well I was gonna leave it at that cos tbh ive a fair chance of only kicking on from here and didnt wanna sound smug

<3

Wanna show my appreciation for conrad itt

I never get a read on that guy.

It took us an entire year to get our noisy neighbor thrown out, which is amazing, considering that he was a squatter.

Can you sue local government if they won't evict a squatter who is making your life hell? Shouldn't the county evict him if he doesn't belong on a vacant property? Can we sue the owner for aiding and abetting a nuisance?

Yelling outside now

"I don't wanna walk in the rain, Harry Fuckin Heroin!"
"I wanna cigarette!"
"You only care about yourself, fuck off and die!"

there is a particularly violent in-law, who when he visits my neighbours they manage to keep him outside the house. But the loud chatter always continues into the early hours - no matter how cold the outdoor conditions are. And they seem powerless to ban him, because he keeps returning and he is abysmal. I'm not a curtain twitching type, but my bedroom window is almost adjacent with their back door because of the hill our house was built on, and this show never seems to end:(

My neighbors aren't noisy but they leave a black and white pit mix outside 24/7 that can be. She's also started breaking out from the lack of attention into my backyard or into the front yards and tearing up my trash.

Talking to them has been pointless and it seemingly never happens when I can call animal control, so I've started just throwing the trash in their yard.

Figured the revive was for this:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/84-year-old-norcal-woman-accused-of-shooting-at-noisy-children/ar-BBJ0RBQ?li=BBnbcA1

moved again since, note taken thus far tonight:

night sun 29th July

door being slammed in what can only be described as intentionally violent manner such that sound carried loudly through to other apartments loudly enough to prevent any chance of sleep.

repeated at intervals of c.5 mins from approx 23.50 through 01.00

i can only surmise intentional and vexatious due to frequency, the regular intervals between and the violence of the slamming (you could literally hear the run-up on each occasion).

unsure whether they were seeking to aggravate or provoke an adjacent neighbour, ourselves or genuinely undergoing a traumatic personal event (no noise of conversation or of any other kind throughout period save for the doors, no signs of others in apt, etc)

like im not sleeping at this stage because i have an uneasy feeling this guy is out to murder someone tonight tbh

hmmm

that was a whole seven hours ago and conrad hasnt shown up to be a creepy cunt yet

can someone check on him

you got an non emergency police dmac

i would call them

definitely had domestic abuse cases in my building and yeah the non emergency sorted it out, was worried they would kill each other

thing is im sure he was alone

Upstairs has a plumbing problem. Everyone she flushes the toilet the pipes make a sound like the horns of Jericho for as long as the cistern takes to fill up, a couple of minutes. She must know this and yet still flushes every single time, even at 10 to midnight, 3am, whatever.

i don't care about noise so much because there is so much of it you have to learn to live with it. But this morning I got up and the arseholes next door had thrown loads of bottle tops, cigarette butts over the wall. They'd launched a plant pot at my bird table, breaking a corner off it whilst probably coked out of their heads at 2am. I went into shouty red mist mode and banged on the door this morning and dumped all the rubbish onto their doorstep when they didn't answer. Then totally lost the moral high ground by threatening to beat the shit out of the little twat that finally came out of the house. I know this type of behaviour isn't big and clever and often has very unsatisfactory outcomes. But it is a part of council estate life that usually ruins my mood for the day and is sadly necessary at times. But I hate turning into fucking Travis Bicke over stupid little thoughtless thugs. what a shit life it can be at times, and I'm not a strong enough person to rise above it all:(

conversely: no you are a hero

it didn't feel like that tbh. I got that horrible feeling when you know you aren't being good and could do much better and you feel like you are adding to shittiness of your own world. But on the other hand fuck these arseholes!

Some cunt threatened me from a flat window the other week and I just calmly took my glasses off as they came running down for me, and then they totally shit out and backed off when they got near me. I think I'm a developing a misguided sense of badassness from that, that will probably be the end of me tbh :p

no look i spend most of my time in these interactions furiously imagining what im definitely gonna do to the cunts next time definitely and too much of that gets into your gut too.

think its riskier but maybe better to step up every now and again unless you do actually get killed which obv isnt an ideal outcome

next door has got themselves a drum kit. by god i hope they get bored soon.

thread title is a good name for a garage pop band

Upstairs' noisy toilet seems to be in that state where it's emptying faster than it fills. Horn noise has been going for 15 minutes now. Put a fucking sock in it.

And now things are resonating along with it.

My neighbour's dogs are destroying me at the moment. He has 3 shih tzus, the little yappy shitwits. Because of work restrictions, I'm up later in the mornings and generally home a bit earlier at the moment. He works 12 hours a day, 5 days a week, and they start when he leaves the house (6.30am) and pretty much bark until he returns (6pm). He's very hard to engage with, and, because they are silent when he's around, he doesn't - or can't/won't - compute what they're like when he's out of the house. In the summer, he often left them in the garden and they would bark all day. Someone must have complained because they're entirely confined to the house now. Other neighbours have been in and they shit inside. He leaves giant nappies around the house - I've seen him disposing of them when he gets in. It used to be his mum's house; when we first moved in here they had an entirely unhinged alsatian that we could hear literally climbing the walls.

I've considered being a good neighbour and asking if I could/should walk them but I've been friendly to one in the past and got nipped for my troubles, so no thanks. The RSPCA aren't interested and I've spoken to the council but seriously, the complaint system involves us keeping a six-week diary of the disturbance and the whole process makes me feel like a cunt. I don't really know what to do.

I've not even mentioned that my wife works shifts (12 hour night shifts, at a busy maternity unit) and the little pricks often wake her during the day. I know it's not the dogs' fault but I'm currently considering a nice piece of steak au warfarin.

my neighbour has a dog that he keeps in a cage (I know because the box marked "acme portable dog-cage" blew into my garden from his yard when it was windy). It has a daily anguished howling and crying routine, where the noise doesn't bother me because I just blast out loud music. But it does sadden me that this piece of shit neighbour called the police on us when my son was having an autistic meltdown and it's so miserable to hear such an unhappy dog. He once had the gall to shout threats at my missus who is five foot tall and spare change and has MS. My paper tiger counter-threat to break his legs with my lump hammer seems to have done the trick because I've not heard anything since, but still the poor suffering dog howls in the medieval torture cage every day.

first warm bank holiday of the year and the neighbors are sat out on their roof balcony thing, which is about 10 ft from where I'm trying to sleep.

upstairs neighbor, who would be even closer, has rearranged her entire flat and now sleeps out the front because of this.

because I live on a steep inline my upstairs bedroom window is almost level with my neighbours side garden. I mostly get on with her fine but she has some dodgy family and friends. When they have summer parties it invariably turns into a brawl with various braying drunken loudmouths shouting loud death threats at each other until 4am and it sounds like they are right next to our bed. And then when I get up next morning I go into a rage myself and sweep up all the broken glass and cigarette butts that have been thrown over the wall and unceremoniously dump them on her front path from the dust pan and then she apologises to me and then I'm struck with the feeling that we are all bad and should all feel bad!

I know her surname is Wraith from accidental mail, but some of her family really do own that name. I can't understand why some people would keep letting someone back into their house for parties who almost unfailingingly get's pukingly drunk and beats up another guest almost every time they return.

maybe one of the wraiths married
a badpenny

lol a+!

any thoughts on soundproofing an apartment? Recommendations on means, pricing, vendors?

OK so a guy next door has decided to wheel out some kind of sound system into their back garden and start blasting out his shitty music at about a million decibels, a whole crew of feckless tattooed twats seem to have moved in next door in the last few days. Got a mind to start blasting this Pierre Henry boxset I'm trying to listen to back at him in response, that'd serve the cunt right.

... LOL, he's gone back inside, it looks like he'd gone out to the back garden to smoke a fag and that to live without his music would be impossible to bear.

What we are plagued with in my road are foxes and, in case you haven't experienced it first hand, foxes make the most horrendous and LOUD screaming and shrieking noises at all hours of the night - honestly it's like someone's torturing a child right outside your window. I often find myself lying there wishing I had one of those old fashioned hobnail boots I could hurl at them and then you hear some angry dishevelled person hanging out their window shouting, "Get out of it!"

I've got used to the foxes round my way but they do love to wait until five minutes after I've gone to bed to commemorate that with a cacophonic serenade. Our neighbours below are great and much like us although they've had the TV on a bit louder in recent years to the point we can often hear theirs while watching ours - not so bad that I would complain, just thinking maybe they got a better system to compensate for ageing ears (will be in the same boat soon enough).

Deafness is usually the reason for loud TVs. God knows how my Mum's neighbours put up with her having her TV on all day at excruciatingly earsplitting volumes.

I had the vulpine ones screaming and hollering and chittering and roaring outside my window at around 3 a.m. recently. I took a peek through the blinds, expecting to see the fur flying and endless seas of fox blood, and what did I see? A group of them lounging around on the grass without a care in the world, occasionally lifting their heads to spew forth yet another volley of infant-disembowelling cacophony. You have to give them respect for that I guess.

Your neighbour sounds like a right wanker, I'd hit him with Pierre, Iannis X and some Throbbing Gristle for good measure, all playing at once, until you've trained him in Pavlovian fashion not to try it again.