Furtive Nips 2: Ghost Protocol

I don't know, Aimless, are you playing dumb for effect or did you not read my post?

In an hour I head to my aunt's house (really my first cousin once removed, but Cubans acknowledge no such distinctions) for a round of catered food, a welcome relief after many years enduring her mediocre cooking. My nieces, sister, and bro in law are in Ohio visiting his parents, so with the exception of my cousin's brood it'll be a small and quite kid-free affair.

Brad, Neanderthal, Dowd, et al., – my best wishes.

I went to visit my folks yesterday, as I'm with in-laws on the 25th. My dad's managing decently with Parkinson's. My mom is going blind very, very rapidly, and she's in denial. She still drives during (eek!) daylight hours ("but only to places I know!") She tripped four times while walking the dog. My wife, father, and I chipped in to buy her an iPad so she can read National Geographic, since there's no large-print edition. However, she can't see/find the home button to turn the device on. And she can't get the timing right so that she can log in. It's unclear how much of this is vision-related, and how much is some kind of dementia. There are lots of neurology visits planned for the near future.

My parents were planning to spend the day with my sister, but they're feuding. This means my elderly folks will be alone, and won't get to see their only grandkid. My sister's miserable because she's poor, trapped in her house with the kid, and her partner works on X-mas day. I can't really do anything for any of them.

Eleven years ago I started the other thread to vent about how (especially) annoying my parents' behavior had become. From the vantage of the present, though, it's clear that their eccentricity was the onset of the illness / neurodegenerative conditions that're now defining characters in their lives.

Done with work now. CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE, poxy fules!

working tomorrow ;_;

Remy, my sympathies. (I made my recent post before reading through today's replies.)

gbx, I hope it's a short day!

drove down sat afternoon. visits since:

college friend home from aussie life with aussie wife, 8/10, little mermaid princess 4 yo 10/10

sick aunt, sick uncle, 8/10 black humour is good

her aunt her uncle, 6/10 but lego collection demo from lunatic 6 yo 8/10

emergency overnight at the in-laws after last minute development of rare f-i-l good humour dictated it wise to maximise exposure while the grinning-and-bearing was good 6/10 and only then because i am happier to raptly listen to why black fellas are bad for football than most ilxors iirc

/sat

sun

got away lightly by only having all the cooking, cleaning and shopping to do ably assisted by one (1) niece and one (1) brother. also installed one (1) problematic ssd into one (1) struggling laptop before an evening visit to kiwi-english aunt and cousin 8/10 they think im a smartarse but i left with a trifle

/sun

mon

right

on road for eleven for the island visit run, hit island at midday and rota read:

1. old friend #1's parents- 9/10 the aul fella was home and let us off after the bare minimum ten mins. no food.

2. school friends who married, he fixes my car when i have one, once upon a time i was almost hitched to her cousin, my aul fella was once upon a time almost hitched to her mother-7/10 she only wanted to badmouth friend #1 above, kids seem nice, hes given up survivalism training and sold the speedboat, theres hope yet. tea offered, declined.

3. old friend #2's parents- 7/10. the aul fella and various generations of offspring. tea, biccies, an hour discussing how bad the darts team has gone. brough a box of quality street, departed empty handed, which would never have happened if his mammy had been home.

4. family friends, parents generation- 8/10. packed full of kids, dogs and itinerant granduncles, mayhem and goodnatured killings at all angles, bonus old friend from house #3 above was there, recovering from a wedding. chicken wraps (dyou mind, wraps) offered, declined and served regardless with tea and biccies. dropped off a tin of shortbread left with a box of toffees.

5. maternal homestead- 9/10. 7 first cousins, two uncles, one matriarch aunt, 28 (i counted) various resultant offspring, three sittings of dinner (all declined and respected), several outrageously poorly lit tales of yrs truly and brothers for the benefit of flagging-but-enthralled niece, three rounds of tea, porter cake and biccies, brought the big m&s tin of posh biscuits (go big for the home house) left with a christmas cake that nearly broke the back axle of the rental and the niece feathered with notes of various euro denomination.

6. upon arrival back from the island, summonsed to uncles- 8/10. six shots of good whiskey and facetimes with various globetrotters until we pled santa preparation deadline

/sun, i hope

wait its now /mon right

right?

gbx, I hope it's a short day!

― Groove(box) Denied (Raymond Cummings), Monday, December 24, 2018 5:25 PM (ten minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

should be --- I'm on call, so I just gotta round on patients in the morning, and be available to the residents by phone for the rest of the day/night, I'm anticipating a quiet one

you’d think by now everyone would be sick to fucking death of the same four carols over and over and over and over and over and over again

not to mention that snow motifs have no bearing whatsoever bang in the middle of summer

We watched kingsman. It ends with an anal sex joke and then text comes up “dedicated to the memory of my mother Kathy”

perfect

Going to my sister's tomorrow morning, where our mother will join us. I have completed my Christmas Eve ritual of watching The Thin Man, and am considering how drunk to get.

skyped w family in Aus
live from mum’s ipad, 8 ppl shouting hellos/jokes/stories/insults w delay in the uncarpeted family room makes for a very boisterous/confusing hallmark card w bonus long shots of the ceiling while mum orients the ipad & dad telling me joeks & stories 90% off camera bcz he doesnt quite get how it all works

<3 those buggers

nice. love is the best stuff.

so tired of chipper mormon idiots and their broods. i came back to my sister's house where i'm staying and the cheerful yokels were out of sight in the dining room playing some ungodly board game, loudly and soberly of course. it took all i had not to turn around at the front door and go to the bar but i'm on the wagon myself so i managed to sneak downstairs to my room with no one noticing. cannot wait until this godawful fucking holiday is over and i get to drive back to my weirdo isolated red rock paradise with another 365 days in between me and the shittiest time of year.

weirdo isolated red rock paradise sounds awesome I’d rather be there too

^gets it

my god they will not stop giggling and singing dumb shit like pimply hormonal byu students

i wish you quick and safe passage back to bedrock maps.

in other alarming observations, my ‘nips’ have become alarmingly long and voluminous with years.🙁

cheerfully allowed my sister to show the “greatest showman” movie and it wasn’t the worst thing i’ve seen this year. wins seeing the kingsman ending with the epilogue is making me laugh

I'm sorry to hear that, remy, much love.

The pub in Dublin contained DV and a former minor ILXoR* - it was a very good time, and then we headed off to the bus station, at which point we got a text saying that I'd left a bag with all of the wedding invites in the pub. And then a taxi and then the same taxi back to where my sister works, to take her up on an offer of a lift back (which we were sure we'd be too early for).

And today I've had to figure out how to detach the 12-bullet magazine for a Nerf rifle (which is a Nerf pistol with an attachable stock and scope, which makes me think of some Nerf Assassin) and how to program a 'smart watch' which has exactly one button.

*and a friend that stars in a story I'd been telling for a decade - very validating to confirm that I'd actually been getting the details right (though fuck him if I hadn't - print the legend)

So my (mixed race) sister got a pair of boots for Christmas from her (white) husband and uhh

https://i.imgur.com/9ooGD1J.jpg

😳

good mourning!

Where's the gift return receipts?

how does that happen

country of origin = ?

racism

Spain

Where's the gift return receipts?

just me and the 3 relations; escape in nine hours

B&N was sold out of The Princess Bride, so happily i got the 12yo niece Some Like It Hot instead!

In my local drinking snowballs and random East European shots, it's a good day

love to celebrate xmas at laguardia airport

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DvRTPbpX4AAOZG7.jpg

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas... and someone has wanged their tree in the bin already!

I’m not sure what the problem with boots is upthread?

Partner and I will be telling the family kid #2 is on the way later today. I never wanted a second and I’m not sure I have the energy to pretend to be excited (or, tbh, happpy in general). My mother and sis will be over the moon tho.

Home now watching The Return of the King as part of Starz' LOTR marathon, cleaning the apartment in preparation for my folks coming over mid afternoon for early dinner. I hope to join friends after dinner.

merry christmas to those who celebrate pic.twitter.com/4XDqIOezys

— bran, like the muffin (@kungfulasers) December 24, 2018

oh dear

I’m not sure what the problem with boots is upthread?

COLOR: CRAZY OLD NEGRO

I thought maybe that that name was an infelicity of translation or of truncating some other part of the style name but at least one online retailer gamely reports the color as “crazy old negro” so

Ooohhh - I didn’t realize that colour was for the boots! Yikes

xp
I was thinking similar but I figured if they got the "crazy old" part right they would have done "black" too. And also, how does "crazy" modify "black" as a color?

I started out being annoyed with the little one running around pushing buttons and issuing edicts but I've become sympathetic. we all need saving from ourselves. I got some mushroom powder and the k-punk book and have been allowed to slope off and bask in the warm feeling of recognition

Found a cool local flyer for Mr Veg’s fave the Toy Dolls from 1985 & got it framed for him for xmas, on a wild hunch that he probably was at the gig.
He totally remembered the gig & was there (yay) but the best part: one of the bands on the lower billing was his brother’s band & I didn’t even know!

Cool

ah my 4yo is a big fan... of their 'nellie the elephant'

yeah that one goes over great with little ones! that and james bond lives down our street were guaranteed hits at my niece’s birthday parties when she was a kid

i have reached my mom’s house; it is of course a mess

npr-stylee xmas music is depressing the fuck out of me and i wish i could get jon solomon’s show instead

for those in your position, the thought that Christmas comes but once a year should provide a small amount of relief. just hang on a bit longer and it will all be over.

My spouse and I very rarely have conflicts. Except today, apparently.

cannot wait until this godawful fucking holiday is over and i get to drive back to my weirdo isolated red rock paradise with another 365 days in between me and the shittiest time of year.

i don’t live in a red rock paradise but otherwise I am feeling this. i feel like i’m dying here. uh for real my in-laws have the painting with the republican presidents - with trump, it’s the updated one - sitting around the poker table hanging above the mantle. not even that though it is more just the non-stop social obligation going from 7am to 10pm and feeling so distant from the routines that ground me otherwise. get me the fuck out of here. i feel so worn down.

Yeah, funny how that works

Ugh, that sounds awful.

Being the better person is its own reward, right?

I watched Spike Jones dvds with my dad

for 3 seconds, with that spelling, i assumed it was the 1940s comedy band guy

Being the better person is its own reward, right?