Old ILX Posts Which Continue To Haunt Your Thoughts

sorry libs, ted cruz is fuckable now

― fans annoyed as emily atack screams over nick knowles' kumquat (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 8 December 2018 14:04 (five hours ago)

five hours ago is old now?

an instant classic, as it were

Ted Cruz's First Fuckable Day

Jesus, no

So he was totally fuckable before today, is what you're saying.

ted cruz is a straight hottie and all of you have known it since 1983 when risky business came out

fair point

http://robindescamp.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Ted_Cruz_harmless_ducks.jpg

^do not heed if you rate me (wins) wrote this on thread so i was at dinner with a britisher. she ordered a prawn and rocket pizza. when it came, she put ketchup on it. I have pics on board I Love Everything on Jul 15, 2013

That salad is the sort of thing ppl sometimes do on come dine with me and they're really confident that it'll win them the competition, as theyre cooking they say to camera "I came up with it myself, the secret is to put pringles in the soup" and then later it cuts to one of the horrified guests going "it tasted a bit like he put...pringles...in the soup?"

Not entirely sure why, but it stays with me.

Context:

guy right behind me (in a call centre, mind) comes in, sits at his desk at 8.59, waits for the first call of the day, inhales like he's about to cartoon blow the fuckin wall down and says EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWW until lunch time. he takes an hour off, bums round, whatever, sits back at desk, another huge breath in, fills the aul lungs up good, that phone rings, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEEEYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWW until 5pm, logs off, goes home, presumably to a fuckin stable i dunno

― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Tuesday, July 17, 2012 3:26 PM (six years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The post that actually haunts me:

haaaaa

I solved it!

We just got a call in from someone insisting on caint as gaeilge- it was transferred to this guy, and he speaks irish like a warrior poet, and QUIETLY

― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 4:29 AM (six years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

god that fella turned out to have a tragic tale might write it out sometime

do we have a crazy coworkers you were afraid would stab you then you found out their story and you pitied them but were just as sure they would eventually stab you thread

No but we definitely need that thread.

the plot thickens

I had a very similar experience with a coworker I later found out was a Vietnam veteran

I worked with a guy recently who loathed me and I loathed him, an older guy, everybody nicknamed him *Blakey but I said he was more like **Nosferatu... only scarier. Anyway, I'm sure there's a tragic story behind him, he'd been demoted either because of drink or inability with new technology or both and people who knew him years ago said he was completely different and a pretty nice guy.

*from 'On the Buses'
**not from 'On the Buses'

Mind you, there are some people who stick up for him and who find him very helpful and pleasant - but they are all, without exception, attractive younger women.

the bastard

I imagine him assimilating them with a horrible gurgling drooling sound like something out of Burroughs.

it was so iconic when lagoon posted

who da fuq is ross

Apparently you mistook Must-See TV for a suggestion.

i smell a class action suit. what is monetary equivalent of several years worth of thursday nights from my youth that i can never get back?

Hi, this is John Maus. Watch Qaddafi's death videos on Spotify.

― polyphonic, Friday, 21 October 2011 07:45 (seven years ago) Permalink

i'm not sure what klimt's the kiss is *actually* about, but it makes me feel sad because it vividly depicts to me a love and a tenderness that i have never found to exist in real life, and it saddens me that i haven't and also it saddens me that i have doubt that it exists at all.

― gem (trisk), Monday, 6 September 2004 07:43 (fourteen years ago)

Really stupid mistakes are just Nature's way of creating everlasting remorse that will sink its barbs into your mind and fester there like gangrene for the rest of your life. That'll teach you.
― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, July 30, 2005 6:45 PM (thirteen years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

(On a modestmickey thread - unusually tactless for Aimless)

You never followed my distinguished career on Ask A Drunk.

this post has been quoted and acknowledged elsewhere but I want to bring up again this excellent Fizzles post circa its 5.5 year anniversary

craftsmanship, consumerism, virtue, privilege, and quality

Best Buy 3 wrote this on thread Most despicable character on It's Always Sunny In Philly... on board I Love Everything on Jul 9, 2010

It's an amazing show, and you can pick up both seasons for only $34.99. My name's Jason and I can help you with all your television comedy questions.

So my kid's been sick with diarrhea for a while. Doctors don't really know what's wrong with him. They think he had a virus and his intestines aren't bouncing back quite like they should or something. He's been managing through life but just constantly has the shits. Anyhow, we brought home a collection kit from the doctor's yesterday and we collected a sample. Wife texts me from home just now and somehow they've misplaced it. Just a lonely little diarrhea sample lurking in our house somewhere.

― how's life, Wednesday, April 29, 2015 9:44 AM bookmarkflaglink

sooooo....didja wind up ever finding it? have this image of like, finding it 4 years later and there being rodents and flies everywhere.

I have no idea! oh dear god.

We've discussed the theme song already:

Law and Order show
Law and Order show now
Law and Order show
Okay so first comes the law part,
and then comes the order part
First we'll arrest them and
then we'll indict them and
then ...

There is gonna be a twi - ist
And it'll blow your mind

Law and Order show ...

― nabisco, Friday, October 26, 2007 1:54 PM (twelve years ago) bookmarkflaglink

orrrder show

I have no idea! oh dear god.

irl tee hee

lol nabisco's law and order lyrics

Was Nabisco a script consultant on Netflix's Love?

The post that actually haunts me:

haaaaa
I solved it!

We just got a call in from someone insisting on caint as gaeilge- it was transferred to this guy, and he speaks irish like a warrior poet, and QUIETLY

― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 4:29 AM (six years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Monday, December 10, 2018 9:52 AM (one year ago) bookmarkflaglink

god that fella turned out to have a tragic tale might write it out sometime

do we have a crazy coworkers you were afraid would stab you then you found out their story and you pitied them but were just as sure they would eventually stab you thread

― puppy bash (darraghmac), Monday, December 10, 2018 10:28 AM (one year ago)

ok darragh now this is the post that haunts my thoughts

ok ill get on it

on 77

!!

oh i meant at some stage

also why did you choose the phrase '30 packs'? i'm curious to what wheels turned when that 'fell out of your ass', also what wheels turned when you decided on the phrase 'falling out of your ass', also why you felt the need to deploy sexual imagery 3 times in your 'zinger' - "i need to know!" i'm also curious as to what drives you and morbius to continue posting here - i can't imagine it's 'i like the conversation' and god knows it's not 'i like the folx there and they like me' cuz i'd guess neither of you could find five threads either of you posted on more than four times that didn't eventually feature the majority of the posters on said thread calling you douchebags, i could be wrong i don't know. who do you like here? who likes you? name names - "i need to know!" i'm curious in what drives a man to post on a messageboard filled with people he doesn't like that like him even less. i don't think it's trolling but i can't figure out exactly what it is. not trying to 'zing' you here (i'd've accused you of shooting zesty ones out of your cock or buying 27 packs of stroh's or something - hit em up oops style), sincerely interested (perhaps, yes, if only to answer why do I continue posting here?). i'd ask others why they bother to engage morbius or oops but i've been there so i sorta understand the impulse.
-- j blount (jamesbloun...) (webmail), November 12th, 2005 2:59 AM. (papa la bas) (link)

I regret the purchases that represented some other course my life didn't take. The 5-string bass guitar. The small PA and DJ lights. The ill fitting scuba gear. The coffee-table erotica. The roadside geology guides.

― Sanpaku, Tuesday, March 24, 2020 10:46 PM (twenty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

no. not old, just planning ahead

"there goes max," they say, "the switzerland of blowjobs"

― max,Tuesday, 27 March 2007 23:13 (thirteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

u old

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Thursday, 23 August 2007 23:59 (thirteen years ago) link

u wait

― Pleasant Plains, Friday, 24 August 2007 00:00 (thirteen years ago) link

*clock strikes midnight*

where is jon when we need him

if spurs end up with

lloris
walker kaboul vert bae
dembele sandro paulinho
lamela soldado chadli

plus some cash for the stadium, they should put up a statue of levy and baldini

― mizzell, Thursday, 1 August 2013 15:34 (seven years ago) bookmarkflaglink

Hmm

I'm not sure if it was an ILX post or not, maybe I'm hallucinating it bc I can't find it, but I thought j0rdan had some thoughts on how he couldn't stand to see people's thumbs in photos where they were holding something for the camera, and every time I'm about to post a photo somewhere online in which I'm holding something and my thumb is visible I'm reminded of it and weirded out by my own thumb. So I inevitably post photos where I'm holding something and it looks like it's just sort of floating in the air because I make sure my hand cannot be seen. If I'm holding it at the back and only my arm is visible, I don't even show the arm, because I don't want it to look like the post on a yard sign.

Tipsy Mothra's post immediately after the final episode of Mad Men where he figured out an ending that had been conceived four years earlier exactly.

do we have a crazy coworkers you were afraid would stab you then you found out their story and you pitied them but were just as sure they would eventually stab you thread

― puppy bash (darraghmac),