The Australian Zeitgeist Tracking Thread

Labor never met an ethical challenge they couldn't fuck up.

Also tonight, got polled by robot and asked who would get my first preference: "press 1 for the liberal party, press 2 for the liberal party"
I imagine this poll was paid for by the Liberal Party, and organised with their usual shitwittery. Bear thi

Argh fuck

bill shorten totally fucking things up? never saw it coming

Looks as though they finally got this cunt: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/australian-court-convicts-once-powerful-vatican-official-on-sex-abuse-related-charges/2018/12/12/da0d909c-fe20-11e8-a17e-162b712e8fc2_story.html?utm_term=.afb4b2a9a21b

Even though it can't even be reported here, ffs.

real normal prime minister

#auspol story of 2019: our latest PM (ScoMo) had nice white shoes photoshopped onto his feet for his official https://t.co/eXNtcX7xTa site?! Yup. Regular bloke. Our tax dollars hard at work. #shoegate pic.twitter.com/kA0gG0yy9L

— luxe (@lukerhn) January 8, 2019

still kind of amazed his schtick ISN'T going down well, given how stupid the Australian electorate has revealed itself to be

I mean, a gurning turd in a series of baseball caps doing a perpetual thumbs-up is about their level

*the prime minister fires the starting pistol for culture war season*

if he even gets to 26th january before dutton fires off the first libspill of 2019

I see that he's 'firing' up the 'base' with pissweak Menzies-isms.

While Dutton is 'firing' up the 'base' by sending a family back to Sri Lanka to face likely torture.

This should be just in time for me to become a citizen. I need to buy some board shorts and thongs so I can make hem as daggy as possible in time for the ceremony.

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/newpix/2018/09/05/07/4FB8D25500000578-6133129-image-a-91_1536129341652.jpg

you must be this classy to become a citizen of the commonwealth of australia

I will really have to let myself go to get my moobs back,.

Why is ScoMo barbecuing eggs in the smoking cage of an RSL?

That is the most bizarre photograph of a politician I've ever seen.

Well, at least since the photoshopped shoe thing.

https://i.ibb.co/hFDFV4H/4964.jpg

not sure if the weird unit is kissing that can of xxxx gold or pretending to drink it

why didn’t you turn to your left and ask him

another photoshopping there, I won't stand for it

maybe this pointless fuckbiscuit can stop fighting culture wars nobody asked for and ~run~ ~the~ ~~~country~~~

or, bin himself

can't believe the kids aren't into James Cook, thank heavens the current prime minister is addressing this serious problem with a very expensive wooden ship

don't worry, the fearless opposition leader has a strong opinion

Shorten says the Endeavour's tour around Australia "sounds very nice"

— Josh Taylor (@joshgnosis) January 22, 2019

if my opponent were a massively unhinged and hilariously stupid fucktangle i’d keep a low profile too tbh

I dunno, it might not to be so smart to keep such a low profile, it's a long game and it's not like Scott Morrison can fuck up everythi-- oh.

'What they've done to us is appalling': Liberals fume after Scott Morrison intervenes in key seat | @michaelkoziol https://t.co/gurAeXTwwL

— The Sydney Morning Herald (@smh) January 22, 2019

in the brexit thread andrew farrell said they’ve got a roomba in charge of the country, which means we’ve got a broken racist jack-in-the-box with one hand pungent with blisters from wanking himself into a coma over his own photo in charge of our country

honestly i am perpetually gobsmacked that any single human being can be that fucking stupid

Tomorrow: the Prime Minister accidentally sets fire to John Howard's old tracksuit while demanding that PC do-gooders respect the deeds of Matthew Flinders' cat, Trim.

tfuck is Mundine a Liberal now for anyway??

He's a Businessman, and $ trumps all

let's just say they moved him to A BIGGER HOUSE (IN NOWRA)

I mean he was in the Lib Dems until 2 weeks ago, the man's obviously a dickhead

now advocating for swab tests on every attendee at the gates of music festivals, to arrest anyone on ecstasy, and thus remove any need for pill testing

a+ first policy as a ScuMo candidate

Aaaaand he's already got section 44 issues: https://www.buzzfeed.com/joshtaylor/warren-mundine-sky-news-show-grant

another dim star for the mediocracy

still not as offensive to me as the dog rooter bloke getting a right wing media watch on sky news, however

Blob Stanten declines to pay homage to Melted Wax Candle in Nu Yawk

While I am loathe to praise Blidge too much, he's taken the approach that the ALP should have taken for years - don't suck up to Rupert, but don't give him any ammunition either.

sorry blidge but i'm a cruskits man vote 1 cruskits

Back to school means back to making school lunches. pic.twitter.com/TtoxT62ins

— Bill Shorten (@billshortenmp) January 29, 2019

Nice burn on the splashback there Bill.

Why is Cliv e Palmer sending me hate mail, shouldn't he be in prison?

God, I feel so sick. Fuck this government to hell, fuck it to death and dig it up and fuck it some more.
I was in the Bay Area in November and thought well at least we are not as bad as this. Two months later I can't breathe the air in my island city.
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2019/feb/05/tasmania-is-burning-the-climate-disaster-future-has-arrived-while-those-in-power-laugh-at-us

coal is good though

If Labor gets in they'll stop giving spending money in tax rebates to old fuckers who didn't pay the tax in the first place than on schools! This madness must be stopped!

By the way, I made this joke on Twitter and it may be my greatest ever achievement, so despite the disdain it has been greeted with, I'm inflicting it on you all here, too.

Let's face it, he isn't even Paul Lekakis. #auspolhttps://t.co/kEZQ9lvrvc

— Caustic Cover Critic (@Unwise_Trousers) February 5, 2019

Timmy Wilson is bravely fighting Labor's mad scheme to not give away free money to old entitled rich fuckers by hosting bingo nights around the nation and colluding with his financial industry mates, great timing.

He has one of the most punchable faces ever seen.

katharine murphy's calling for him to get the fuck out of parliament

Ah. No. Read closely. Every country has human rights problems. Government is the enemy of human rights.

— Tim Wilson MP (@TimWilsonMP) December 14, 2018

we all have known for ages this guy is cooked but this guy is really cooked

Actually, I’m in the Parliament. The government is the executive and bureaucracy. I’m sceptical of all governments all the time, as I am of any centralised power ...

— Tim Wilson MP (@TimWilsonMP) December 14, 2018

I mean, realllly cooked