rolling thread for chronicling the misadventures of dwight howard, nba center

i guess i could call him a controversy-free* Alex Rodriguez, and somehow the gulf between his desperation to be liked and the reality is even more enormous than A-Rod's.

he's never had a major scandal one can point to, he just shows up with a new franchise and walks into the locker room cracking jokes with his teammates and putting up 16/12 and pretty soon rumors are out that he's going to be fragged on the next road trip.

(*we'll see what occurs with this recent business)

god i always forget about the candy thing

the candy addiction is just idk its perfect?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EDqNg2-UUAASIaJ?format=jpg&name=900x900

has dwight been watching demolition man or

someone online said he's turned into bobby digital and that seemed otm

Dwight Howard said he bought a purple car because he was inspired by Thanos and the sacrifices he had to make to accomplish his goal. Man.

— Christian Rivas (@RadRivas) September 11, 2019

lmao

Dwight Howard tried to coin a nickname for the Lakers' second unit tonight: "The Bad News Bears. Not the Bad News Bears in a bad way, but 'we're gonna bring bad news to the other team.' That type of bad news."

— Kyle Goon (@kylegoon) November 4, 2019

he was so good against the spurs. he'll be starting soon. the lbj-ad-dwight frontcourt is so huge and athletic.

Dwight Howard is no longer eating 'McDonald's, chicken wings and honey buns every single day'

https://www.yahoo.com/sports/dwight-howard-is-no-longer-eating-mc-donalds-chicken-wings-and-honey-buns-every-single-day-161434689.html

he stopped eating candy but then it took him another 5 years to not eat mcdonalds every day

i swear he has the same set of quotes every season just a slight variation on each one

Why am I not surprised this dumbass already got pinched for not wearing a mask

lol seems like easy money in retrospect

dwight just generally not big on prophylactics

Lol. If you count the farts too my mans got a real problem with expelling

he's batman now

Sam Amick: "Dwight Howard apparently liked my idea of going with the "Batman" moniker in this series where he has bullied the "Joker."

"Batman's coming for you, Joker!" he yelled at Nikola Jokic from the bench three times near the end of the first quarter..."

lmao

https://admin.defector.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/28/2020/09/dwighthoward4.gif

http://comicvine1.cbsistatic.com/uploads/original/0/40/1489913-01_copy.png

salut

https://sports.yahoo.com/amphtml/sources-dwight-howard-was-under-the-impression-he-had-offer-from-lakers-signed-with-76-ers-instead-024630843.html?__twitter_impression=true

All-Star Joel Embiid also began recruiting Howard, sources said.

big mistake buddy!

those two are gonna be a DELIGHT together

https://www.tmz.com/2020/12/13/dwight-howard-lawsuit-los-angeles-lakers-nba/

Dwight stiffs snake caregivers

Dwight says he has started calling Tobias Harris “Prince Harris” because after the shot at the end of the Lakers game, “it was game...blouses”

— Kyle Neubeck (@KyleNeubeck) February 1, 2021

SIGH

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOOzpwFn6Tc

its painful how hard he tries and fails to be funny

he clearly grew up watching a lot of eddie murphy

referring to dwight as "the champ" is a weird reading of his career imo

he claimed it to be true himself before he even was one

seems like the kind of show that would appeal to him: glitzy, cartoonish, stupid, but with a big audience who cheer and scream like mad for every C-List celebrity who shows up.

I think that clip gave me a seizure. The kids these days with their entertainments, I tell ya

I still can't believe this show is real

singing competition shows seem like such an old fashioned idea, like a thing that was popular in the mid 20th century and no ones thought of them since, except of course theyve been everywhere for the past 20 years

the masked one is a copy of a korean show iirc

Dwight Howard was a surprise participant at the WWE Tryout in Nashville today. He told me he legit wants to join the WWE one day. pic.twitter.com/LiUnNqPsdv

— Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) July 28, 2022

the most obv retirement career for him

Dwight Howard announces that he's headed overseas to play in Taiwan for the Taoyuan Leopards.

(via taoyuan_leopards/IG) pic.twitter.com/ur9KL0Vdxh

— ClutchPoints (@ClutchPointsApp) November 8, 2022

bon voyage you goofy fool

Idk why more washed superstars don’t go this route. Looks so fun lol

shaqs hate for dwight has always been funny

Shaquille O’Neal agrees Dwight Howard being in Hall of Fame is questionable after matchup with Sim Bhullar: https://t.co/U2E4qTSPvm

— NBACentral (@TheNBACentral) January 20, 2023

that is a large man

yeah he makes dwight look really small

dwight is such a clear hofer its a testament to how annoying he is that this conversation is happening

yup

would be hilarious if he didnt make it on grounds of being annoying lol. sorry no one wants to hear your hof speech pal

i mean it's 50/50 he has to wait a few years as punishment for his jokes

can we get sim bhullar to join the lakers

over/under on dwight fart jokes in his HOF acceptance speech?