Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

My annoying future co-workers

Got a new job - yay - and asked my future manager to wait till I'd given my notice before sending out my references.

Naturally the HR team forgot and sent them out before I'd told my boss.

Fun discussion tomorrow!

I thought the (k) means it's kosher?

Congrats to Chuck on a new world of stupid annoyance!

Next time you have a rush request, how about instead of getting all over my ass you take your thumb out of your own sometime before the deadline, how about that.

Anybody else here read Ask a Manager to get more of stupid co-workers?

The one about the woman whose dad was dating her boss and they tried to get her to go to counseling with them - bonkers

Oh yeah, loved that one. The comment sections have everything moderated out of them but smug self-regard, but the letters are great.

Coworker (via email): Here is a thing that doesn't pertain to your job and that I have no reason to send you, and also as an added bonus I'm just forwarding it to you without any additional explanation.
Me (giving the benefit of the doubt, against my better judgment): Hi, I believe you might have sent this to me in error.
Coworker: You left a note in the file indicating that you wanted this information.
Me: (checks file, plainly sees the name of a completely different person who in fact requested this info, sets desk on fire and goes home for the weekend)

i’ve been helping to mentor a new admin over the past few weeks. last night she learned the horrors of end of month billing + sales shenanigans ie “i really need this giant complicated thing for which i can only give vague details handled NOW” at 10 minutes to 5pm last night. i felt so sympathetic to the stress of the experience that i stayed back with a senior coworker to help her take care of it.

i am liking my job a lot more than i did but that specific aspect of it still sucks beyond measure

yessss someone just reply-alled to 800 people and attached a healthcare flexible-spending account enrollment form featuring their ssn and everything

I believe the polite approach in this situation is, for the sake of clarification, to let all 800 people know that the email wasn't meant for you.

'please remove me from this thread'

It may seem unnecessary, but I promise that you'll see the more etiquette-minded individuals in your company doing just that very shortly.

And when you do, you should thank them for their manners (copying everyone on the thread, naturally).

The people who Reply All to ask to be removed are angels compared to the people who Reply All to scold everyone else about hitting Reply All.

who are these people who just piss all over the toilet seat and floor without cleaning it up ?! wth would you do that in your own house

The question which occurred to me lately is: how does one manage that neat puddle in front of the urinal without absolutely hosing down one's shoes?

I won't even detail some of the horrific scenes I've encountered in our professional office restroom used exclusively by professionals. Animals would be repulsed.

Not every request or piece of correspondence that you receive is a hot potato that you need to toss to me as soon as you receive it. If you spend 20-30 seconds examining these things and confirming whether they should even be forwarded to me at all, I promise they will not burn you.

sat here fixing things for a semi-hard deadline, kind of annoyed that the last week has had three mandatory end-of year meetings just eating into my time.

and then i look up and my team-lead is fannying around making the 'information radiator' that we have here, the one that normally shows build status etc, show snowflakes instead.

FEELING YOU. I'm out of the office for the rest of the year as of a week from tomorrow, I have a sudden annoying uptick in my workflow as I'm trying to get everything caught up, but oh hey let us please have a meeting every day because you might not feel as important if you weren't saying aloud the useless things that could be just as easily communicated (and twice as easily ignored) in an email.

ha, customer's christmas code freeze means that the thing i was rushing for them is no longer a priority.

i now have about 2 hours of things that i need to do this year.

I'm looking forward to working much of the xmas break for similar reasons - IT companies all have embargoes from like Dec 20 to Jan 2, so I'm likely to spend Dec 27-28 sitting in the office knitting, or playing video games cos there aint gonna be much work to do.

Pity its not overtime but oh well.

Last week the office manager sent an all-staff email saying she had put some samples (lotions/shampoo/etc I think) from her friend's "business" in the kitchen. I looked up the name and yeah it's some kind of MLM thing. I made some comment to a colleague I'm not sure it's appropriate for her to be shilling for some pyramid scheme in the office but then forgot about it.

This morning she sent another all-staff email complaining that she went to get the samples today and 2 are missing, and they aren't free so she has to pay for them unless someone owns up to who took them. I mean she said they were samples, they are usually free aren't they? I'd be pretty annoyed if I had taken one and was now asked to pay for it.

Yes, I'd argue that the 'free' in 'free sample' is assumed and redundant and if you refer to something as a sample it's pretty much on you if you meant 'actually not a sample at all'.

Just picturing a panic-stricken Costco employee on the intercom, 'attention customers, I had a trayful of tiny plastic cups of trail mix laid out and now I see that two cups of trail mix are missing, please don't force me to alert security.'

I just checked the original email and it wasn't the office manager (sorry office manager) but someone else with the same first name.

She even says please try out these samples at lunch and if you want to order some we can get them before Xmas.

But yeah lol that's what I was picturing too

my boss has been going around telling people she is “off for her morning constitutional” - meaning off for her morning walk. don’t have the heart to tell her that that’s the archaic meaning of that phrase and that she’s actually telling people she’s off for her morning jobby

Horses have the courtesy to combine both activities

the archaic meaning of that phrase

when did it acquire this alleged new meaning, outside of a joke euphemism

It's not in Websters. I don't recall it ever being anything other than "a walk"

It sounds like it should be, but.

OK, its in the Urban Dictionary as such, filed under "ten minute club"

i had to look up what a "jobby" was. very glad i did.

Uhh I get that "morning constitutional"'s real meaning isn't poop but uhh its secondary use is nowhere near as obscure or "ten minutes" as y'all are claiming. Least not in these parts.

But i'd also argue the primary usage isn't archaic and everybody would know she meant a walk so...

What’s wrong with ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’?

Uhh I get that "morning constitutional"'s real meaning isn't poop but uhh its secondary use is nowhere near as obscure or "ten minutes" as y'all are claiming. Least not in these parts.

I adjure my honorable fellows to consider the source.

I've never said it in my life!

can’t believe ur all cutting about announcing ur jobbies like this

I just meant of course ILX's most openly bowel-movement-centric poster is jobbying for Big Poopa

ahem

pulling rank

the og plopper

What’s wrong with ‘dropping the kids off at the pool’?

― suzy, Wednesday, 19 December 2018 17:55 (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The other week I was supposed to deliver a presentation and asked if everyone had arrived and a colleague said "A___ will be five minutes, he's just sending a friend to the coast" which was a) far tmi and b) a new one to me

Admittedly I’ve learned most of my poophemisms from guys from Glasgow and surrounds, LOL.

So there's a co-founder at my company who is a tremendous piece of shit, but luckily is almost never around the home office, preferring to jetset elsewhere. Today he was in and 1. had this to say about the women of Bermuda: "The girls in Bermuda are so beautiful [obnoxious, lengthy physical description of their characteristics], but they're so stuck up. They remind me of Persian girls..." (The fact that he is Persian does not make this much more palatable, as you can imagine.)

He then went on to claim to be friends with Rihanna.

he's just sending a friend to the coast

Is this some like, visual of poos floating off out to sea from the sewers?

I think so.

I used to hear "little brown soldiers going AWOL" a lot.

someone responded to my out of office message by saying "I know, Neanderthal, no need to remind me"...thinking I was manually writing this email to everybody who emailed me while I was out.

Right now, we're doing a training redesign with a third party that we're paying. They've been awful from the very beginning - they were cheap, not particularly good, and they're completely in over their heads - they're used to training materials for simple how-to tutorials, not a complex, 560 hour training course. Their staff has also been a revolving door and they've sometimes hid new hires from us, despite them having to go through background checks prior to working with us.

In any case, it came to the point where we had to tell them we were not happy with their work, and they decided to try and save face by finding fault with our partnership...possibly to stave off a termination of the contract. So the main guy in charge on their end accused us of giving "non-actionable feedback", and inflating the feedback by focusing predominately on nitpicky things like punctuation.

A Trump-esque claim, because this is an outright lie that can be easily disproven. There were less than 5 comments left for punctuation out of near 100 comments total. Instead of our leaders growing some stones and backing us up, or actually validating the claim themselves, they gave this feedback to the person in charge of the project, as if it had weight, and asked her to make sure we weren't overfocusing on punctuation. Many of us decided we would leave egregious punctuation/grammar errors out there just so they couldn't hang us with it, and a day later, the same feedback was given to us again.

We now have six figure leaders micromanaging the feedback being left, rather than admitting we made a mistake in hiring these assholes and severing ties, maybe going to arbitration to recoup money spent. It's been almost a year and they've shown little improvement - but somehow that's our fault.

They don't teach that kind of leadership in business courses, but somehow most managers learn it on the job anyway. If they admitted they were wrong to hire these bozos, then they give their bosses proof that they are not competent to make decisions of that magnitude, which is pretty much their whole job description. What justifies their six-figure salaries, except their ability to correctly make those weighty, costly, and difficult decisions? So, it can't be that they botched the contracting process, right?

I'm on a small email thread, planning a project, with a guy who is a writer for a living but maybe he uses voice recognition when he writes emails?

Ahhh, okay, this sounds good to me, yeah I think ff we should have that cause other wise it'll have to be a call for the newer people who are newer / it's more of a general problem. Jillian thinks of a space that is best to start this effort, than can start doing it here and potentially get arrive some of the work. So yeah I agree that's how we we left it till next time, thanks.