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she is moo vaughn

mark s, Saturday, 24 November 2018 17:38 (five years ago) link

last night i had a dream abt dril aka ilx poster fred b

mark s, Monday, 26 November 2018 15:51 (five years ago) link

and i find it kind of funny
i find it kind of sad
the dreams in which im Beavis
are the best ive ever had

— wint (@dril) January 6, 2015

sign up for my waterless urinals webinar (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 26 November 2018 15:56 (five years ago) link

makes u think

sign up for my waterless urinals webinar (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 26 November 2018 15:56 (five years ago) link

About the portfolio in my bunghole? Indeed it does.

Fantasy Eyelid (Old Lunch), Monday, 26 November 2018 16:04 (five years ago) link

two months pass...

A polar bear had gotten into my house and curled up on the floor in my bedroom. Carly Rae Jepson had recorded an album of duets with BradNelson and it was playing in a speaker somewhere that I couldn't find. I was running around in a panicked state pulling every plug in the house trying to shut the music off because it was so loud and I really needed to call the Department of Natural Resources about the bear.

peace, man, Wednesday, 13 February 2019 09:48 (five years ago) link

bear say hi to me maybe

mookieproof, Wednesday, 13 February 2019 14:09 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

just remembered a dream I had the other day where in addition to the Admin Log we know and love there was also a log of changes to user's moderator permissions, resembling the ordinary ilx board interface, but instead of a thread it was like "so and so got promoted to moderator". And thus also a list of current moderators.

moose; squirrel (silby), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 16:38 (five years ago) link

so yes in the dream I was just browsing ilx in an entirely normal situation, all my dreams are like this, I hate them

moose; squirrel (silby), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 16:38 (five years ago) link

lmao

lag∞n, Wednesday, 27 March 2019 19:11 (five years ago) link

dreaming of a new admin interface.........

lag∞n, Wednesday, 27 March 2019 19:12 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

I dreamed last night that I was asked to speak on a panel at PopCon. The panel had nothing to do with pop music, the topic was "The Human Race: does it deserve to survive?" We were going down the table, everyone was introducing themselves, giving a snip of their CV. A woman two seats to my right said "I am a birth survivor" and the crowd tittered and the woman raised her voice "yes, my birth was traumatic, and so has been the life that followed, and I am a survivor!!!"

flamboyant goon tie included, Saturday, 27 April 2019 14:53 (four years ago) link

dreamt that o. nate wrote the lead review in the sunday NYT book section

the byline was O. NATE and i thought to myself wow that's really his whole name

mookieproof, Wednesday, 8 May 2019 19:29 (four years ago) link

o. henry 2

ciderpress, Wednesday, 8 May 2019 19:31 (four years ago) link

I had another dream in which I made a post to ILX, except this time it was in the middle of a bizarre series of dreams. I've been feeling extremely ill since the beginning of the month and was operating on ridiculously little sleep until three nights ago, at which point I began catching up on all the sleep my illness was preventing me from getting. As a result, I've been experiencing a massive amount of dreams per night lately, all jumbled together in a bizarre dream collage. In the middle of one of those dream collages, I remember stopping the dream-action to sit in front of a computer and post something to ILX. It wasn't an existing thread or anything, just something that coincidentally happened to touch on a topic I was dreaming about at that moment; because of that, I felt I had to contribute in the dream version of ILX. Living the dream right now, let me tell you.

The Colour of Spring (deethelurker), Thursday, 16 May 2019 23:16 (four years ago) link

dreemsthelurker!

deemsthelarker (darraghmac), Thursday, 16 May 2019 23:22 (four years ago) link

A bit rude to get to this so late, I know, but it was lovely having you at my home, Josh in Chicago and frogbs. I hope you enjoyed the ham sandwiches I grilled for you, as it was my first attempt at anything so simultaneously outré and unnecessary. Josh, if you're looking for your glasses, I'm pretty sure you buried them while you were helping me plant my tulips.

Pristina Addlepate (Old Lunch), Saturday, 25 May 2019 02:45 (four years ago) link

that really is an old lunch dream

estela, Saturday, 25 May 2019 02:55 (four years ago) link

a+

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 25 May 2019 08:14 (four years ago) link

I dreamt I traveled to Amsterdam and the biggest museum there was a museum devoted to the band Modest Mouse. I walked inside and read some information posted on the and it said Modest Mouse had been making music for “over 60 years.”

Trϵϵship, Thursday, 30 May 2019 08:20 (four years ago) link

Sarahell and I were riding on a schoolbus. She asks what I'm doing at school. "I'm doing research into what happened to ilx memes. There used to be memes on ilx like who is Lou1s J4gger, ban Lou1s J4gger, and Lou1s J4gger plays a vacuum cleaner. Today's internet user has memes too, of course, but they are a different type."

☮ (peace, man), Sunday, 9 June 2019 10:48 (four years ago) link

important work

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Monday, 10 June 2019 01:24 (four years ago) link

two months pass...

i was clambering around the floor in a back room of a corner shop from my hometown - the old pakistani shop owner was there also. the fridge was stocked with so many weird brands of soda that didn't even look appetitzing. "malt" drinks. i was pretending to look for something that i didn't have, something small. i felt guilty. i overheard a faint story someone was telling. a man wanted to split a purchase with me over a bottle of 'ulls' water (Lake Ullswater is a lake in England). it tasted like the earth, and you could see all the sediment floating away in the drink - but the bottle looked like naptha spirits. i was in the back room again, looking for a harmonica; i knew that they didn't sell any, but there were two old ones atop a really dusty cabinet. i thought about stealing them but i knew they were just toys, and too sentimental to the owner. i turned back away from the refrigerator to the sound of a small crowd singing me happy birthday - except, they weren't sure of my name... so everytime they'd get to it - "happy birthday to...", there was a stifled pause between all of them.

then, writing to a friend on the computer about a woman i'd dreamt of. she was angry that i'd used her pastry. i was joking about it to her, saying "well karen it's a mushroom pie now and it's not fucking coming back".

meaulnes, Sunday, 25 August 2019 04:49 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

Had a dream last night that I was arguing with Tuomas about spiked leather jackets. He was adamantly opposed to them as they were a symbol of the Nazis where he came from. I shot back "Well 'round here we don't do things like up in Lapland!"

☮ (peace, man), Friday, 27 September 2019 18:27 (four years ago) link

i dreamt ILX had collectively exiled me, with a thread titled 'meaulnes please shut up' exploring how excessively i had posted per day

:'(

meaulnes, Friday, 4 October 2019 11:40 (four years ago) link

one month passes...

So I had my first semi-ILX-related dream the other night and it was one of the most terrifying of my life.

I was trapped miles underground with some other ILXors and the only way out was to climb a metal ladder that was in a shaft the diameter of a manhole. For miles and miles. It was known that there was a problem at some juncture in the ladder/shaft that would require manipulating the ladder or a gap somehow (this was not clear) making the climb even more dangerous. We begin the climb and I realize that I am in the middle of the climbers and if I fall I will take out the climbers below me, which include upper mississippi sh@kedown. I am not crazy about ladders and the dream was wave after wave of the most intense fear of heights/falling.

I woke up and my shirt was absolutely soaked through.

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 15:53 (four years ago) link

Whoa! That sounds intense!

☮ (peace, man), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 16:08 (four years ago) link

Last night I dreamt that a large contingent of UK ILXors moved in with me. It was actually my mom's house, and I'm not sure how she feels about it or where you're all going to sleep, but it felt like the least I could do given your newfound circumstances. This might, though, be an instance where intention and impact are wildly divergent.

Welcome to the Sandwich Trough (Old Lunch), Friday, 13 December 2019 19:59 (four years ago) link

three months pass...

Had a very strange dream where I was having an affair with a fellow ilxor, can only blame this on...playing mahjong before bed?

some of you are enjoying this (gyac), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 10:30 (four years ago) link

well who tho

silby, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 14:49 (four years ago) link

jesus the bishop wouldnt ask u that

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 14:54 (four years ago) link

the sergeant wouldnt ask u that ffs

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 14:54 (four years ago) link

I just woke up.

silby, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 14:54 (four years ago) link

anything to report

ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 14:57 (four years ago) link

Fuck all. I rarely remember my dreams except for the ones right before waking up about how I have to go pee. Though I did post a very good one upthread about Tombot.

silby, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 15:11 (four years ago) link

two weeks pass...

I was sitting down for lunch with my wife and parents and the National Mall, which had become an Actual Mall, when I realized that I was only wearing jeans and no shirt. I decided that I would need to at least need to change into shorts to make myself presentable for dining, so I set off in search of a JC Penney. "I'll be back in 5 minutes," I told them. But the Mall was so huge that I was having trouble finding JC Penney.

It was then that I ran into frequent dream guest-star Karl Malone! He was already wearing shorts and had a shirt on, but agreed to help me in my quest. As we turned a corner, we came to a storefront-turned-office that we knew was the headquarters of unspeakable evil. Some real estate or stockbroking company or something. We steeled ourselves as we walked in, prepared to ask the receptionist if she knew where JC Penney was, and hoping that we wouldn't be sussed out for whatever it was we were guilty of in their eyes. Fortunately, no one was in there and we were able to walk straight through.

On the other side, there was a shoe shine booth, staffed by an old man with a pushbroom mustache. We asked him if he knew where JC Penney was. He replied that we might want to check out a store called "Black Tie White Tie" instead. I'm thinking that this is some amalgam of real-life mall women's fashion store Black Market White House and David Bowie's album Black Tie White Noise, which Alfred had mentioned on the US Politics thread yesterday. It was then that the old man's phone started to ring. And everybody's phone started to ring. As the old man answered, his face drew into a rictus of horror. He couldn't speak a word. And I had left my phone back on the table with my family.

☮️ (peace, man), Friday, 10 April 2020 10:37 (four years ago) link

That is a doozy.

Why, I would make a fantastic Nero! (PBKR), Friday, 10 April 2020 10:45 (four years ago) link

three months pass...

Was in a VIP lounge doing coke with s1ocki. A Black woman with a clipboard appeared at the top of the stairs and asked for the name of my party.

WIZARD IS HUNGRY, I told her and then immediately felt these cold slices of horrible regret. WIZARD, -- LIKE A *MAGICAL* WIZARD, I clarified for her.

I don't know why I'm such an asshole.

pplains, Saturday, 11 July 2020 02:51 (three years ago) link

I mean probably it was the coke

all cats are beautiful (silby), Saturday, 11 July 2020 03:14 (three years ago) link

The White Lady, we used to call her.

pplains, Saturday, 11 July 2020 03:15 (three years ago) link

you got off easy

mookieproof, Saturday, 11 July 2020 03:40 (three years ago) link

one month passes...

I was back in college at some state university. When I got to my history class, who was the professor but Saddam Hussein! He was looking young, trim, healthy. And as the students filed in for class, he was showing off his cool Iraqi tambourine. It wasn't like any actual instrument - it was very big and blue and had many more bells and jingles attached to it. He was very proud of it and hoped to win us over with his Iraqi tambourine songs. But I thought quietly to myself - I can't believe the school hired a brutal dictator to teach a history class. Just then, Mr. Hussein received word that his offer of employment had been rescinded. I guess the school was reading my mind or something. With a downcast expression, he excused himself from the classroom but urged us students to never stop learning.

After class, I found myself outside of a moderately-large craftsman house with Karl Malone. Karl, I have no idea why you keep ending up in my ILX

peace, man, Tuesday, 11 August 2020 10:44 (three years ago) link

ARGH - didn't get to finish there. Hold on.

peace, man, Tuesday, 11 August 2020 10:44 (three years ago) link

...in my ILX

peace, man, Tuesday, 11 August 2020 10:45 (three years ago) link

I keep accidentally hitting Tab and then Enter instead of shift. This is irritating. ANYWAYS.

...ILX dreams.

Karl had a window unit air conditioner and said that he wasn't sure if he was going to install it. And I was like "it sure is hot out here, why wouldn't you install it?" But then I remembered that Karl is an avid environmentalist and probably wants to cut down on electricity use to reduce carbon emissions. But he says he would like to install it, but just doesn't know how. And I, having done this a few dozen times, offered to help. "See, we could put it in this downstairs window, but you could also install it in an upstairs room and the air would flow down and partially cool the downstairs as well, depending on whether you wanted to leave a door open up there." Karl thanked me for my expertise and set off to find an extension cord while I put the AC in.

I realized that this was some kind of cooperative student housing, with lots of students and resident life staff coming and going. I went to look in the basement and it was huge! Unfinished and dusty, but it was the size of a warehouse. I have dreamed of huge basements before and I thought to myself "this is the basement of my dreams." That phrase kept repeating itself in my mind. I ran back into Karl - he had a backpack slung over his shoulder, heading back to class. As we walked toward the exit of the house through the living room, we entered a field of clocks. I mentioned something I had read, that if you look at a clock once and read a specific time, but then you look away and look back and see a different time, you're in a dream. And then exactly that happened! I enthusiastically showed Karl, who was like "cool, I'll see you later" and left. I was very excited to realize that I was dreaming and tried to exercise some willpower over the situation. I decided to walk back upstairs in the house and found a huge spread of food. It was supposed to be like, your standard spread of cheese and fruits, but nothing looked recognizable. Weird blue and green shapes. Suddenly everything went black.

***end ilx portion of dream***

I woke up the next morning in a bed at the end of a long pier. It was parallel to a bridge and cars and trucks were driving past. I was damp all over and couldn't remember a thing, but began to recognize this as a cheap hotel that I occasionally frequented. I made my way to the front desk, which was three old ladies standing in a small deli where the pier met the land. I struggled to form my words or coherent thoughts.

"How much'll it be?"
"Forty-five dollars."
"Five dollars? Ok."
"FORTY-five dollars."
"Isn't usually a bit cheaper?"
"Tell that to all the young ladies causing a ruckus in my hotel last night."

Young ladies? And I couldn't remember them? Just my luck.

I tried to get some money out of my wallet, but it was all soggy and sticking together. I didn't have enough money, but remembered I had some bucket hats in my backpack. When I opened it, an empty bottle of booze fell out. The counter women were looking at me with a mixture of amusement and scorn. I pulled out of the stack of bucket hats, each with a denomination embroidered on it: $5, $5, $10. One of the women turned to her friend and said "I'll have to see if management will accept this." They all had a chuckle over this. I finally asked if they had an ATM and they pointed me around the corner. As I walked past, a mother shielded her child's eyes from the sight of me. I kept thinking about Saddam. I swiped my debit card in the ATM and woke up, for real this time.

peace, man, Tuesday, 11 August 2020 11:31 (three years ago) link

Last night I had an extended anthology of dreams in which “budo jeru” appeared as both:

1) the name of an overpaid rookie football player, like a johnny manziel type, and

2) a macguffin, some arcane engine part that would contribute a significant multiplier to power output.

sound of scampo talk to me (El Tomboto), Saturday, 15 August 2020 13:01 (three years ago) link

thats a pynchon novel

lag∞n, Friday, 21 August 2020 15:21 (three years ago) link

one month passes...

No ilxors in my dream this time, but I was waiting in a really long line at a coffee shop. When I finally got to the front, the clerk asked for my order. I said, "What's the name of those cookies you're so famous for?" He replied, "Oh, you mean the Acura ILX!"

📺👁️ (peace, man), Friday, 25 September 2020 22:24 (three years ago) link

one month passes...

harbl made a non-speaking cameo as the in-house attorney for a haunted food factory in Halethorpe that was desperately trying to cover up evidence of an interdimensional rift on its premises while still giving tours to the public!

peace, man, Sunday, 25 October 2020 20:27 (three years ago) link

I ran into Dr. Morbius in my dream last night. He was smiling and we waved goodbye to each other.

Notes on Scampo (tokyo rosemary), Sunday, 25 October 2020 20:37 (three years ago) link


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