fuck cancer

You write beautifully about an ugly thing, wish you all the very best

Casper’s blood results today are even better. 🤞

great news - wishing the best for all of you

That's great to hear

y'know it's bad enough when your wife has terminal cancer without the fucking cunts that work in GP's surgeries. I know it's a cliché but it really seems like a job requirement to be literal vermin to work as GP's receptionist, we've been to 3 in the last 2 years and they are *all* fucking useless arseholes. my wife is out of her pain medication *again* the prescription was put through by the pharmacy over a week ago, the pharmacy has chased them 3 times, we've chased them twice, why can't they just do their fucking jobs the fucking pieces of shit. they just flat out lie to you when you do get through on the phone, I know that for a fact because they've done it with my medication when they've fucked that up. why does this keep happening

dammit Colonel, i'm sorry.

...and now they've randomly rejected her antidepressant refill

what the fuck is wrong with these fucking scumbags? I swear by this year is over I am going to be in jail for punching a GP in the fucking face

:(

you'd hope for better wouldn't you

So, my uncle died of prostate cancer a week and a half ago, was buried last Saturday, and I've been thinking about just writing something on here to just write about it a bit, but I apologize if it really doesn't fit the theme of the thread. Because he was a doctor - still so weird to write 'was' - and he said eight years ago that this was going to kill him someday. And later on said he didn't think cancer was such a bad way to die, at least he got to say goodbye to everyone. He got to die in his amazing house out in the country, he got all the morphine he needed, and managed to avoid too much pain, even as we knew he was nearing the end. I last saw him a week before he died, and he was pretty much happy and upbeat. He had just had an old childhood friend come by two days before, and seemed to basically still be on a high from getting to reconnect with him. His wife even said that he had looked at her and said: 'You know what? At this moment, I'm happy!' He was just 69 years old, but during another conversation with his wife of twenty years reminiscing about their travels together he had all of a sudden said: 'Isn't it amazing how many good times we managed to have together?' His life was basically really good and just really concentrated. And the funeral was beautiful, exactly as he would have wanted.

It was basically as good a death as I can imagine is available to us, and he really didn't seem like he himself thought it was that early. He lived a good life, and died before he got old. His wife was younger than him, so everyone always knew she was going to outlive him, so it was always coming, and it might be better that she has time to really make another life for her. Hey, it's all good. And still I'm just a mess, I basically just realized. I can't do anything, I can't remember anything, I keep forgetting the code for my credit card, I forgot my work stuff at work, I can't even wash my fucking clothes probably, I just messed up a whole batch of my girlfriends best clothes. And it's as if it's not enough to just say to people my uncle died, they will react with concern because he was young, or because it was cancer. And none of that was really all that bad. But I just want to grieve, in a situation that was as merciful and beautiful as could be, all things considered. I still just want to grieve.

I'm fine, you know? I have a fantastic girlfriend, I'm doing what I love and very nearly almost making a living of it, I'm going to two film festivals in the next month, and I even managed to successfully pitch a new website just today. My life is better than it ever has been, and all around me people are suffering, and they kinda need my comfort more than I need theirs, and the death of my uncle really couldn't have been less awful. But I'm just sad, and I just have to be a sad fuckup for a while, I guess. So sorry for writing a lot that really wasn't about how awful cancer is. But I do feel a bit better now.

My condolences, Fred. That's rough. It's good you just want to grieve, that grip on your time in this life will come regardless. So better sooner than later. Mess up, forget stuff, fuck up your daily chores: it's all good.

Cancer doesn't "just" lead to death, it is the biggest, harrowing threat always looming over your shoulder, always seeing a gap somewhere to unexpectedly enter your life to destroy you.

Best to you, man. <3

lovely post fred

i called in to my mums sister at christmas while down home, she had been in remission but unfortunately is now back fighting it

her younger brother was there when i called in, and he has been in since at short notice to have surgery which touch wood looks to have been early enough.

both in good, wry form but old and drawn looking and fuck cancer.

xp
indeed. even in the best of circumstances, relatively speaking, it's a very hard thing to deal with and there's no need for you to feel bad about it. it's perfectly understandable.

Sorry for your loss fred. And a beautiful tribute to your uncle—I’m only recently learning the importance of gratitude, which your uncle seems to have practiced admirably.

today, a close relative of my partner's was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML). we're still waiting to find out what subtype it is. there's one particular kind that goes into remission about 90% of the time after the first round of chemo, while the other subtypes are more like 67%. the overall 5-year survival rate for AML is 27%. i don't think my partner knows that yet. it feels awful to sit here with this knowledge. the relative is just...obviously we love our relatives and stuff, but he really is one of the greatest people i've ever met. no one deserves cancer. but this man deserves it less than just about anyone i've ever met. he was the picture of good health, too - in his mid-50s and still running marathons, participating in triathlons, etc. anyway, fuck cancer.

hugs pal

Hugs to you x one million. I’m really sorry you have to come near what you’re dealing with, let alone be the subject of it. People tell you “life isn’t fair” from a young age, so often that it starts to lose its meaning. But the meaning of it inevitably comes roaring back.

my wife had 2 scans this week. got call from oncologist today that the cancer has spread to her liver. meeting oncologist tomorrow to discuss options. dunno what this means in terms of life expectancy

Oh man, CP. My cousin has it in her liver and bones, but her treatment is stopping growth for now. Fingers crossed for you both.

i'm really sorry. it all must feel so overwhelming. :(

Much love, CP.

Really sorry CP

<3 Colonel

Sorry to hear that, CP. <3 and best wishes to you both.

Echo the above, you're staying wonderfully positive

power to you both during such hard times.

I am so sorry CP.

cp <3

xxxp I wouldn't say that imago I've been a mess this week if I'm honest but I'm trying

Fuck cancer

<3 CP

Best wishes to you and your wife, colonel.

it does feel strange appending "Colonel Poo" to a sincere post about something so awful but you are in my thoughts CP

Indeed, always so, and to Karl as well.

Fuck CP wish I could hug you.

I watched both my grandmother and grandfather die in the span of two years. I wasn't close to them at all. But it's horrendous, this disease.

I am so sorry, CP.

thinking of you cp, that’s rough news

Fuck cancer. Sending best wishes and hope the last two weeks have only brought positive news if anything. It's OK to be a mess, and also OK to not seem to be a mess to other people. Look after yourself.

How are you Nick?

sorry forgot to update - yes there has been some positive news I suppose, at least it's not as negative as we first thought. my wife will be starting new chemo next week, she had to have tests to see if it was compatible with her as there is some enzyme that most people have but some don't. anyway she tested positive, so her body can process the chemo. *if* it works, the average survival is 18 months. this is roughly what they'd been talking about before it turned up in her liver, so it might not effect her life expectancy in terms of duration that much. we are still in very hypothetical stages right now, they refused to go into any more detail about life expectancy until they have more information on how the chemo works

Much love your way, CP.

Cancer is bullshit and it fucking sucks. I’m so sorry. Can’t imagine all the things you must be feeling as you continue to navigate all this with yr wife. <3

GP scum have randomly denied my wife's naproxen prescription again. how these cunts have the nerve to call themselves doctors I don't know

sorry mate, got to cut the costs somehow though! have you tried meditation?

(my sympathies and sorry if this isn't the time for humour, however bitter)

CP - are there any channels for a complaint? The problem is you are so taken up by your loved one's illness there is very little room to think or do anything else.

We have to start documenting these, the first step is to complain to the practice manager, whose contact details are not on the surgery website. Only then can we make a complaint to the NHS. We've spent the last few weeks being pissed about by the DVLA and the DWP but that seems to be over now. It's not like we haven't got enough to deal with.

The NHS seems to be set up like this: competent, caring doctors work in hospitals. Useless incompetent fucking scum become GPs. My wife would have died from TB 10 years ago if we hadn't gone to A&E because the GP had sent her away several times saying it's just bronchitis. I fucking hate them all

otm that is definitely my (relatively short, and not for myself) experience of the NHS. "A lot of GPs are useless" is a taboo subject I think.

The NHS seems to be set up like this: competent, caring doctors work in hospitals. Useless incompetent fucking scum become GPs.

this was our experience.

my wife's aunt is sending us Naproxen via Amazon from the USA. yes, the NHS is so fucked that we are having to get medicine sent from overseas. it won't get here until the 20th and seriously if our cunt of a GP hasn't signed off the fucking prescription by then I'll probably burn the fucking surgery down, but it's a nice gesture

my uncle is currently in surgery to remove what they have found and hopefully not having anything much more present itself once theyre in.

hes a childless farmer bachelor pisshead but we could do with having. him around a while yet so heres hoping cancer gets fucked this time