reddening's thread of DISNEY PARKS gossip

DAY 3: "DAY OFF"

Not doing anything until like 7pm - Glorious. Found the solution to traveller's tummy (apparently the solution is time + rocket-fuel coffee made by Stanley). A+
Paddlefish - the menu was mostly standard surfy-turfy type stuff, but I hit gold with what I ordered -- got a swordfish steak, which was great, but it came on a bed of... wasabi mashed potatoes? Is that a thing? It should be because it's excellent. A
Disney Springs - It's a strip mall! C
Star Wars The VOID - This is... dope as hell? Every time I try VR I'm like "oh, this makes sense. I should do this more often." Then I don't for a year. It's hard to trust this game because you're walking around, and you're scared to just get tricked into walking into a wall, but why would they lie to me? I kept asking myself. My team of 3 stuck me on "playing simon says" duty sadly for part of it, but other than that, this was dope. A+
Uniqlo - Don't have these in Montreal so I got underwear and some pants on sale. Pas cher. A
Hangar Bar - We got to sit in the weird circle booth. I had an incredibly sweet tiki drink. It was very not-crowded, which was nice! I wouldn't do the tiki drink again though. B

DAY 4 AM: ANIMAL KINGDOM

It's Tough to Be a Bug! - We did not go on this ride. As soon as I saw the name, I said, "we have to go there, that's the worst name ever." Memphis disagreed strongly, saying it is, in fact, bad. I continued to sarcastically insist, at one point starting a "TTBB" chant among the rest of the party (Too Tough Be Bug, of course). We never did go on the ride but I just wanted everyone to know I got great joy out of the name and I may also be an asshole. A
Kilimanjaro Safaris - I got to see so many animals! I have heard they're maybe not the greatest at keeping these babies? But ugh I got to see a LION sitting on a dang PRIDEROCK. And like 400000 giraffes and a rhino's ass. Awesome. A
Gorilla Falls Exploration Trail - I got to see more animals. None as dope as the safari ride tho. A-
Expedition Everest - A surprisingly great ride! I don't think I had even heard of it, or if I had I had forgotten. Reading more online it seems to be very highly rated, I just didn't expect it and was pleasantly surprised! A
Festival of the Lion King - This is a pretty wild production for something they do, what, 10 times a day? I was super impressed. It was also 30 minutes off my feet which I liked (but I did get restless by the end). B
Dinosaur - I am definitely mixing this up with the Jurassic Park ride in my head because it looks just like Jurassic Park except the video at the beginning has Felicia Rashaad in it for some reason? Another Parasauralophus but no Ankylosaurus again. JPark aesthetic vibe, I like it. I think in this one there's a time portal or something. Am I crazy? I remember nothing. A-
Pandora - The fact that they set this place up to look just like any other continent section is... really cool? But also kinda weird? Awesome worldbuilding though. There's "Pandora music." There's Pandora food. Fake Pandora trees. Once again, I uhhhh haven't seen the movie, but this looks cool? B
Pandora food - Knowing I'd be in line for like 2 hours, I went to the closest food stop and basically ordered one of everything. There was an alcoholic boba tea margarita type thing, and that was good. There was a weird gooey cheesy spring roll which was weird, but ok. Then there was a pretzel the size of my solar plexus with cheese sauce that was the saltiest goddamn thing I have ever eaten, and once I just ATE SALT, so don't ask me how that works. I could have died. C
Avatar Flight of Passage - Two hours in line. Bananas. The line is real pretty though. I only agreed to this because one of my coworkers was like "YOU HAVE TO DO IT" and I woulda felt bad if I got back and was like "actually didn't do it, line was too long." So I waited the whole time. Not a great start when you stand in a room and it "scans your body" and takes a long time and then a guy who looks like he hasn't acted a day in his life spends 10 minutes explaining ("in character") the plot and setting of Avatar. Hoo boy. But then you get in the room and on the ride, and then the screen opens up and you are riding a banshee and you feel it BREATHING between your legs and you really feel like you're dropping a few times (how?!) and the visuals are STUNNING and uh yeah I guess it was worth the two hours! As soon as we got out of line, I checked and the line was 70 minutes lol. Coulda done the other Avatar ride in the same amount of time had we just done them in opposite order, alas. A+

DAY 4 PM: EPCOT

Spaceship Earth - First thing we hit is the best part of Epcot, the big circle boy made of triangles. What was inside I did NOT expect though. You know that thing in the past where people had this like, unbounded optimism for the future? This belief that technology was going to make the world a better place, that civilization was on the right track, that some day science will deliver us fully automated gay space luxury communism? That's what this ride felt like it was telling me. It was beautiful. I almost wanted to cry. After, I texted my gf, saying "this is gonna be my favourite park, it's the one where the future is bright something something communism" and she was like "do you mean the one where everything is either a restaurant, a gift shop, or sponsored by an American megacorp?" and I was like whaaaaaaat ohhhhh noooooooo but at least for 5 bright, shining moments, everything was going to be okay. A+
Mexico Pavilion - Nobody ate (except me, the pretzel genius) because Epcot was having their "food and wine" festival. So we went to the pavilions and people started grabbing food. I had an empanada and it was bad. I decided not to eat anymore. Most of my pals said everything tasted pretty whatever. I came to terms with the fact that I was not gonna like this part of the park, except for Canada for the comedy. C-
Gran Fiesta Tour Starring The Three Caballeros - I'm sitting beside Roy who hates this. I'm increasingly convinced Roy experienced his last moment of joy in the 2000's. I'm really at this point kinda over Roy as a dude. Then again, I also hate this ride? I'm a complicated guy. D
Norway Pavilion - They sell Helly Hansen. Okay. D
China Pavilion - The squad sits for a bite at the... lotus restaurant or something, and it is food court Chinese food. Folks, half of Epcot is a food court you pay $100 to get into. D
America... Pavilion? Section? - At least my friend who was craving funnel cake for like 4 days finally got one. I was over this International journey at this point. D+
Japan Pavilion - Gift shop was interesting at least. I pledged to not stop at any pavilion until Canada at this point. Sorry, Morocco and Spain and whoever else. C-
Canada Pavilion - LOL. Ok the thing that looks like the Chateau Laurier or whatever was pretty accurate. The RED TELEPHONE BOX BESIDE IT WAS NOT SO MUCH. I didn't watch the circlevision movie, because I was so done. I only saw a couple of employees and I forgot to ask them where they are from, because we had a "fantasy draft" for provinces and whoever won was supposed to get bought a beer by the others. D
Soarin' Around the World - First ride that made me feel nervous. I guess dangling unmoving in the dark is my thing. The people in front of us took their fucking shoes off like BARBARIANS. THEIR BARE FEET WERE DANGLING IN OUR FACE. Also, who the fuck makes a ride where the lineup looks like a goddamn airport? Were airports cool 40 years ago? DOES ANYONE ON EARTH LIKE AN AIRPORT? I enjoyed laughing at the airport and the ride was pretty cool, even if it made me break into a flop sweat. A-
Journey into Imagination with Figment - Memphis has been hyping this up for over a day now. "Don't read anything about it," he says. I think this is going to be either spectacularly good/funny or just incredibly kitsch/awful/funny, but then I get in and I go "oh, I guess... not?" It's kind of just... cringily mediocre? Some stuff about senses and imagination and a part where a skunk smell happens? Memphis at the end is like, "DID YOU LOVE IT?" and I muster as much fake contentment as possible and say "It was weird!!!". The twist: ROY FUCKING LOVED IT. Who even is this guy. UGH. D+
Mission: Space - Finally, a ride that is gonna abuse my body and make me feel alive. Memphis hurt his back. I just woke up. Too bad all of the important stuff you're supposed to do on the ride, like, doesn't do anything lol. I thought there were fail states. How dumb am I? A
Smoking section - a quick jaunt over here, and I am looking at the park kind of in general for a second, and it occurs to me: this is The Citadel from Mass Effect. This is what they based it on! That's one of my favourite video games! Epcot is pretty cool, y'all. A
Test Track - We snuck in single-rider right before the fireworks. Missed the opportunity to "build your car" or whatever which I guess is the point? Love the look of the place inside tho, all like 90s "VR" neon lighting and stuff. And it's pretty fun. You know, for a giant ride-in Chevy ad. A-
Hanson (!) - they were playing for the "eat to the beat" festival and we missed 'em!!! Fuck!!! NOT RATED
IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth - Memphis is pissed. We took too long having fun, and now we won't get a good spot for the fireworks. He prefers near China but it'll be packed. So we end up... about 20 meters away from China, with like one family in front of us. AKA, basically the exact "right" seats? This firework show is inscrutable though. There's a part where the globe just spins with projections on it for super-long and I don't know how ANYONE can see what's being projected. It goes on for a while, there's a pyro boat (I guess?) that's just like, on fir the whole time, leading me to wonder if it's a mistake. A couple cool moments where fireworks shoot over your head from the ring, into the lake, but the whole thing felt like a confused metaphor for peace that looked like a metaphor for war and I wish I had seen the Magic Kingdom one last because it was so much better. C

Thus ends my adventure! Well then there was a day off then a wedding then I flew home, but it'd be weird to recap/rate those parts. Big fat F grade to the Orlando duty-free though, where the whisky selection was awful and MORE expensive than Canada? I shoulda bought that fucking bottle of whiskey I saw at Walgreens for like half of the price it costs at home. (If anyone's driving from Orlando to Montreal any time soon, can you pick me up some scotch at Walgreen's?)

We got one of the interactive wands for my 8 year old son and he had an absolute blast wandering around all the shop windows casting spells. $50 dollars was pretty steep for what is now just a plastic toy wand but worth it as he had so much fun, especially with the water one and lanterns in Diagon Alley.

― groovypanda, Wednesday, November 7, 2018 4:44 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh wow i had no idea it does this!! awesome! geez my gf hates the idea of theme parks but was legit jealous of my hp experience. i gotta take her there sometime.

Man Will you missed out on a bunch of the old school weirdo retro rides in Fantasyland (which I much prefer to some of the more "thrill" oriented rides). But at least you had the sense to go to the Tiki Room, Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion, which are all among the best the park has to offer imo.

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, November 7, 2018 6:25 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I have no idea how we missed it! We were really just following ALL TIME #1 DISNEY VET Memphis Raines the whole time though, so I guess he decided Fantasyland wasn't worth it? We didn't even walk in, though, which kinda sucked. Would have at least liked to have seen it and soaked it in, you know? Also yes we were in Orlando!

The people in front of us took their fucking shoes off like BARBARIANS. THEIR BARE FEET WERE DANGLING IN OUR FACE.

otm -- the smell of Florida oranges can't compensate.

speaking of Spaceship Earth, here was the theme song during those cheerful early '80s Reagan years:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usIQmSI7Kcw

Will I feel INSPIRED, thanks you

Will, you didn't miss those rides, Shakey was thinking about Disneyland in Anaheim. Those are indeed great, bad sadly not available in Orlando.

thanks Will you made me feel better that I will probably never go to Florida again
I love theme parks but it sounds like there’s no reason to suffer againthrough the Florida experience for them (I went to WDW a zillion times in the 80 when I lived in FLA). I guess I’d like to go to Animal Kingdom though.

there's still some stuff in fnatasyland i would've liked to have seen with more time. small world, mine train, barnstormer (my fave when i was a little kid! prob bad now tho), teacups, etc.

also on my "sad to have missed" list: carousel of progress, the monorail, slinky dog, the avatar river ride, spider-man and the jimmy fallon thing at universal. geez we actually managed to cover a lot of ground in 3 days!

Probably the most essential things from that list are small world and spiderman

teacups!

Teacups is one I tend to skip. I like most rides, but that one is too much spinning for me.

ppl are either teacup or no teacup i have found, not a lot of inbetween

also on my "sad to have missed" list: carousel of progress, the monorail, slinky dog, the avatar river ride, spider-man and the jimmy fallon thing at universal. geez we actually managed to cover a lot of ground in 3 days!

Spider Man was ok but it was just another Universal 3D + smoke + fire type ride like F&F and Kong but with more falling

see y'all on the other side!

Snow White ride has made our 3 year old terrified of rides

Mine carts or spooky adventure?

It was the ride by the castle in disneyland. We sat in a thing that transported us to different rooms where we were harassed by the same witch. Then it abruptly ended with a sarcastic painting of a book that said "storybook ending"

yeah, that is a pretty scary ride, and they even toned it down a bit from the old days.

I have to admit that some of those Walt Disney rides scared the fucking shit out of me, including the Snow White one where you go right up to the fucking witch.

― Pleasant Plains, Monday, January 21, 2008 1:44 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I was 12.

yeah the beats were: snow white. dwarves. witch. witch. wiiiiiiiiitch. get the fuck off my ride.

And now Alfred can start planning on being in line so Kylo Ren can threaten him. Or seduce him. Whatever works.

https://io9.gizmodo.com/weve-been-to-star-wars-galaxys-edge-and-life-will-never-1832878349

They better have Mold-A-Rama kiosks where you can get an encased Han Solo.

They better allow you to become encased in carbonite full stop. I want to be a prop in someone's den who they suddenly thaw out to the delight of curious partygoers.

More details, including more about all the cocktails Alfred will be drinking soon enough:

https://io9.gizmodo.com/star-wars-galaxys-edge-the-77-most-fascinating-things-1832883014

so long as it's served in the Tupperware that Aunt Beru used

Ah here we go. Prepare your reviews:

“R-3X is a radio DJ so he’s pulling music from across the galaxy,” said the executive creative director for music at Disney Imagineering, John Dennis. So while there will be some traditional, John Williams cantina influence, he’s largely playing what Disney thought Batuu pop music might be. For example, when we saw and heard R-3X , he was playing what could only be described as “Jawa Hip Hop,” with a thick beat under all the “Utinnis” you can handle.

Track has leaked iirc:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfUxy7PdHxY

For Star Wars fans, two things have always been true. It’s a world we all dream of visiting but will never actually be able to. [...] None of it exists. It isn’t real. That is, until now.

Last week, io9 was among a select group of press to visit Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge[...] Everything is muddy. There’s scaffolding everywhere. You have to avoid large pipes and walk on thin two by fours across huge holes. This is not remotely close to what fans will experience when the doors open later this year and yet, it’s already one of the most exhilarating places I’ve ever been.

You get to actually stand next to the Millennium Falcon, for crying out loud!

And, later, when you pay for the privilege, instead of being in a small, select group of press, you'll be able to eat an overpriced hot dog, while sweating in a crowd of decidedly un-StarWarslike tourists in shorts, tee-shirts, and giant mouse ears, all milling around the Millennium Falcon and squealing, or whining, or gabbing, or holding their phones in the air taking videos. Which may not be quite as exhilarating.

But the magic

an overpriced hot dog

you haven't been in a while. Even the fast food's good.

and no hot dogs there anyway

https://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2019/02/the-food-of-star-wars-galaxys-edge.html

It’s called Black Spire Outpost for a reason: Batuu is a planet made up of spires, but one in particular stands out. Sitting in the middle of the outpost is one spire that’s much blacker than the rest, and that’s how Black Spire Outpost gets its name.

(it's age-gated so click through)

okay, i should have watched that before posting, it was sent to me as a "huge brawl in toontown". that's not what that was at all, please delete.

been seeing articles about how Galaxy's edge is not crowded and a failure. was there a week ago, and I promise you it was crowded (though we didn't have to schedule a visit). the worst part is the creepy dudes pledging allegiance to kylo ren in the park because you know they are trump voters.

BREAKING: Epcot Will Be Divided into Four "Neighborhoods" Through Reimagining; World Discovery, World Showcase, World Celebration, and World Naturehttps://t.co/88wjtefGOf pic.twitter.com/ZYyzNN3gI2

— WDW News Today (@WDWNT) August 25, 2019

Hmm. At the very least a radical, or even modest, reinvention of Epcot will give a reason to go to Epcot, currently probably the most skippable of the parks.

On the contrary: it's the park we never skip (World Showcase is never not fun), whereas I've been once to Hollywood Studios in the last 20 years.

Do you not love the magic of film

I love Epcot, but they could do so much more with it. A facelift is a good start.

Eh. Last time I was there we were pretty bored beyond the food, and there is only so much food you can eat. At least Hollywood has a couple of good rides.

If you find Epcot boring, you're drinking it wrong.

Which reminds me

http://bestrestaurant.gawker.com/the-best-restaurant-in-the-world-is-disneys-epcot-them-1700655297

I mean, when in Epcot, drink! But there are better places to drink than Epcot.

I've said it before, but I love pretty much all the food in Disney World. Animal Kingdom in particular has some great stuff, and the park's broad dedication to employing people from the regions represented by its restaurants is a master stroke.

The best eating/drinking discovery from our last trip was Nomad Lounge in Animal Kingdom. We spent a ridiculous amount of time just chilling on the patio.

Is that the little cocktail lounge near Pandora? My wife and MIL enjoyed some time there while I puttered around the avatar stuff with my son.

AK has the best fast food of the four parks, but, wow, WDW food has improved hundredfold since my childhood visits. You can't go wrong anywhere.

https://hyperallergic.com/528697/a-history-of-disneyland-walt-disney-world-at-van-eaton-galleries

If you are an adult and find yourself trapped at the OG and need a drink at say 8PM hie thee to the Disneyland hotel tiki bar and get yourself a very well made tiki drink (no kids allowed after 8PM)