Thread's drowning in edginess. Didn't realise it was I Love Nihilism all along.
― pomenitul, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 18:36 (five years ago) link
well "passing on your genes" is pretty neat, my boy is almost 4 and I can see he's got a face like mine and a number of my personality traits. you connect with them in a way you couldn't with any other human being. so that's cool.
― frogbs, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 18:43 (five years ago) link
That is cool! Was genuinely curious, nihilistic or not.
― lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 18:44 (five years ago) link
Seeing parts of myself in my kid is a source of mild delight tempered by mild oh noesActual full-fledged delight is when the confluence of mom & dad genes manifests itself in completely unexpected ways
― El Tomboto, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 18:49 (five years ago) link
I think having kids because you think that they'll take care of you is one of the most selfish reasons. Don't put that on your kid.
― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, October 9, 2018 10:29 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
god yeah i'm gonna be in no position whatsoever to take care of my parents when the time comes
― princess of hell (BradNelson), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 18:49 (five years ago) link
Is "I want to pass on my genes/want to pass on something" still a thing for people to have kids? Or has that argument died along with the aristocracies and their (inbred) families? Do men (men bcz women wouldn't be this dumb) "value" passing on their genes still?
this isn't conscious for me at all but i assume this is animating all childbearing decisions since it's an imperative that all living things have
― Mordy, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 18:54 (five years ago) link
my kids can be extremely challenging but by some goddamn miracle they stay in their beds when we put them to sleep and remain there until we go get them in the morning when they awake
― marcos, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:01 (five years ago) link
But this is my question: do all living things really have that imperative? I don't think they do (anymore). I don't. I'm the first to admit I'm not by any means a yardstick in this, but the erasure of the imperative to have kids is something I see around me and my generation and friends quite a lot. I do not think it is a given or imperative any more. xp
― lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:02 (five years ago) link
assume this is animating all childbearing decisions since it's an imperative that all living things have
It is always good to remind ourselves that our conscious brain has only limited and marginal control over the rest of our brain and body. There's always more going on outside of conscious control than within it.
― A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:03 (five years ago) link
We evolve tho, whether our "conscious brain" knows or recognizes this or not.
― lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:05 (five years ago) link
I can count on one hand the number of women I know that are past childbearing age that don't regret not having children. those hormones are *intense*
and last time I checked the human population was still expanding/reproducing
― Οὖτις, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:06 (five years ago) link
oof
― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:08 (five years ago) link
women are hormonal right enough
that is a hard one to parse tbh
― Dmac TT (darraghmac), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:09 (five years ago) link
men have evolved to the point where we mostly want to make children in order to pass on our musical tastes
― President Keyes, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:09 (five years ago) link
then i doubly urge ilxors to refrain
― Dmac TT (darraghmac), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:14 (five years ago) link
tombot otm. For some couples it is extremely easy to not have children and also save money. Absolutely no regrets. Having a period already feels like being hungover, having the flu and eating way too much pasta all at once. Pregnancy is way too much stress on the body.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:17 (five years ago) link
My mom also worries about me not having kids and dying alone. I just start on my "we all die alone" monologue.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:19 (five years ago) link
I don't disagree with your last post Mordy but I think the idea of imperative is nebulous and I'm not sure of its explanatory power. We might well be products of desires we're not conscious of but without some maths I dunno. Not that I'm disagreeing, I just think selfish gene theory needs fleshing out.
― Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:19 (five years ago) link
my dad asked me just once about it i pointed out my civil service pension for future requirements and his own performance as a historical argument against
― Dmac TT (darraghmac), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:20 (five years ago) link
selfish gene theory has an addendum noting that individual reproductive drive/output drops depending on species/pack environment stressors iirc so yknow maybe that
― Dmac TT (darraghmac), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:22 (five years ago) link
I've felt for a long while that pure evolutionary theories tend to ignore the spanners that culture throws I their works.
― Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:23 (five years ago) link
there's an interesting bit in triste tropiques about how one of the tribes levi-strauss pals about with dislike having children, are openly negative about pregnancy and childbearing, and use abortifacients. the obvious idea is that in their parlous situation they don't need more mouths to feed, but none of the other tribes he encounters, in similar circumstances, are similar in that respect. culture is a weird thing
― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:32 (five years ago) link
also you can have sex now without having kids idk if they have this where ye are but its a big deal where im from
― Dmac TT (darraghmac), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:46 (five years ago) link
all you bloody lot who don't want kids still bloody moan on and on on here. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW FREE YOU ARE, YOU SWEET FOOLS
― kinder, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:52 (five years ago) link
(obviously lots of delightful exceptions)
which is to say, I have kids, I love them, I don't particularly love anyone else's kids, but man it is hard in these early years. I fully recognise I've got some sort of Stockholm Syndrome where my experience of what 'a nice time' is has been drastically downgraded
― kinder, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:54 (five years ago) link
fucking without kids has often been a big problem for most catholic priests.
― calzino, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:56 (five years ago) link
which is to say that "kids", like "people", is pretty weak as an abstract concept
― Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 19:56 (five years ago) link
Lol xp
It's frankly astounding how resolute I, my siblings, and numerous cousins on my mom's side (only one of whom has yet to make it to/past his thirties) are in making sure the family line dies with the lot of us.
― Werther Down the Spiral (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:02 (five years ago) link
Lunch, uh, finds a way
― for i, sock in enumerate (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:07 (five years ago) link
xp Jealous! I wish that was what could bond me and my bro and sis, but alas. Sis has kids, bro dying to have kids (into IVF trajecotry now, he hates my guts for not wanting kids rn), it's not working out that way.
― lbi's life of limitless european glamour (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:15 (five years ago) link
that wish is a bit fucked up for your nieces and/or nephews
― for i, sock in enumerate (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:21 (five years ago) link
My mom is recently mad at me (again) because I am not leaving my brothers or their kids anything in my will. I only made a will because it was free to do. But also, it's shitty to expect anything to be left to you when someone dies.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:31 (five years ago) link
(My parents only made a will a couple years ago and I was incensed because, like, I was well into adulthood!)
― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:32 (five years ago) link
Supposedly my brothers just finally decided to make a will and want to ask me to take care of the kids in case anything happens (considering one is a cop married to a firefighter, uh). But they won't ask me directly and keep asking my mom instead.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:35 (five years ago) link
i was left funeral expenses in one will and ive asked the other one to if nothin else just cover that pls and thankyou otherwise yeah fuck wills
― Dmac TT (darraghmac), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:35 (five years ago) link
I'm all for 100% inheritance tax
― Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:37 (five years ago) link
My entire family voted for Trump so I told them that I am leaving all my money to Planned Parenthood and Black Lives Matter.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:38 (five years ago) link
Apparently we’ll inherit like a few million when my dad apparently decides to bite the big one
― F# A# (∞), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:40 (five years ago) link
xp if you reluctantly accept and end up remolding the kids of your trump loving brother into excellent humans, you could sell the movie rights
― for i, sock in enumerate (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:42 (five years ago) link
xp a few million divided by infinity is still zero i'm afraid
― for i, sock in enumerate (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:44 (five years ago) link
I lost my mind after the election when I heard that the kids in their schools loved Trump because Hillary was a liar and the kids are taught not to lie.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:44 (five years ago) link
This does feel weird, it's the only part of not having kids that I feel a little guilty about. All those Jews who survived through the years. Not guilty enough to make me have kids, but I wish I had a sibling who was taking care of that.
Then again, that's what comes of a family who only got one kid out of five siblings (my mom's side), that's kinda on them. And there's tons of mental health issues so it's probably good that that side is done. And I do have cousins with kids on my dad's side.
― change display name (Jordan), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:44 (five years ago) link
Yerac, my mom also expressed concern over my not leaving anything to my (single and childless) brother, which is weird because wtf he doesn’t need $. We’re gonna be the last stop on the family privilege train.
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:45 (five years ago) link
hear hear!
― Yerac, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:47 (five years ago) link
Inheritance law/ finance is a textbook example of how the (relatively) neutral fact of reproduction is politicized into reinforcement of a system
― Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:51 (five years ago) link
for i, sock in enumerate (Sufjan Grafton)Posted: October 9, 2018 at 1:44:17 PMxp a few million divided by infinity is still zero i'm afraidCloseI’m sure it’ll be more like $300k per person when all is set and doneU kno the gubmint
― F# A# (∞), Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:53 (five years ago) link
i'm just gonna declare my will on ILX, 77 dollars to you all except for those of you who FP'd me in the past
― frogbs, Tuesday, 9 October 2018 20:57 (five years ago) link