one out all out: a brexit from the modern world and every one of its problems please (we're all gonna die lol)

fucking shameless

I'm not saying resorting to outright lying and brandishing fake stats is a new thing, but this lot have been pushing the envelope on this game in recent years.

in the era of Russian Trumpbots who can say what's lying and fake any more?

maybe China's heavily censored version of the internet is the way forward! to quote Deng: "If you open a window for fresh air for longer than 10 hours, you have to expect some flies to blow in."

president xi, put up that firewall

RIP Unilad, what a blow to the culture

oh nevermind apparently LadBible is still ok

I wasn't surprised to hear that this (the last 4 years) was basically UNILAD 2.0 - afaik it never got anywhere near the horrific stuff from pre-2012, but still why pick that as a brand to save?

still kinda stunned that unilad has hundreds of staff and a New York office

it’s a facebook page for arseholes ffs

Lol unilad's London office is/was the floor above mine. Sometimes hear loud braying laughter after 6, assume they have after work drinks or something

Hmm they might've moved already actually, their website has their address round the corner. Our building is a total shithole tbf

it’s a facebook page for arseholes ffs

do they need a parti-time sub-editor?

the typo makes the joke funnier

Apparently Unilad are the fourth biggest publisher on Facebook, which further underlines how completely fucked the online ad revenue model is.

The fact that they have hundreds of staff and a New York office is admittedly a significant part of the reason.

Yeah. With that scale they can literally A/B test every post on hundreds of sub-pages/"communities" they own, see what works best, and promote the top performing posts to the main page. It's a science and they're not stupid about it. They take their douche-bro'ing v seriously.

I'm not trying to brag here, but I'd never even heard of them before!

^^^ ^^^
I'm not on FB and don't even have a TV type brag post.

I've seen the name but had no idea what it was referring to... and still don't tbh.

we are lol gonna die*

Please watch this assessment of Brexit from the US embassy in London:

Key themes:
- economic catastrophe
- massive job losses
- duplicity from the UK government
- everyone is terrified about what is about to happen pic.twitter.com/VcYxmegOkj

— James Melville (@JamesMelville) October 4, 2018

*to the tune of moby's we are all made of stars

(just read that that's actually from that ch4 Inside the American Embassy doc series from several months ago)

Yeah they're terrified they'll have to go back to Trump's America.

lovely bit of publicity for the Football Lads Alliance on R4 earlier, these nice fellows handing out food parcels to the homeless in Birmingham and they aren't fascists cos they democratic etc.. Even far right beyond the pale ex-Tories like Bill Etheridge are balking at their UKIP leader aligning the party with this type of pondlife and jumping ship.

“James Cleverly insisted Shaun Bailey had been misunderstood, and that he was trying to say that because black boys were learning more about faiths other than “their own Christian culture”, they were more likely to drift into crime.” 🤔 https://t.co/EHtLk5Hixh

— Musa Okwonga (@Okwonga) October 5, 2018

😬

Isn’t this even worse than the original comment?!

James not-Cleverly is consistent, I'll give him that. But even by his standards that be double wrongness there!

we're all going to die lol for a myth:

https://www.lrb.co.uk/v40/n19/james-meek/brexit-and-myths-of-englishness

Wouldn't exactly be the first time…

nationalism is all myth

countries infected with Eddie the Eagle brainworms

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-45727317

Literally gonna die.

Behind the bravado, We are just a shy and self-aphasiaing nation.

we were just looking to see if my wife is effectively confined to the UK for the rest of her life because we won't have EHIC anymore but the best I could find was articles from a few months ago saying there's a transition period up to Dec 2020 on that, so we've still got a while to visit anywhere in the EU she wants to go to. there are some insurers that will insure terminal patients but I would expect they are prohibitively expensive (tbf I haven't got a quote I'm just guessing)

Noel Gallagher would reform Oasis to stop ‘lunatic’ Jeremy Corbyn from being Prime Minister https://t.co/UJkjJUiVZw pic.twitter.com/uFOibDO3RR

— NME (@NME) October 5, 2018

just start a band with tony blair already

"The Tories don’t care about the vulnerable, and the communists don’t care about the aspirational.”

This from the guy who admits he spent seven years on the dole playing the guitar rather than get 'a proper job'.

isn't this how the 30 years' war started?

So, a UNILAD founder, Alex Partridge, had his debt bought up by Lad Bible to force UNILAD into administration. UNILAD staff are currently locked out of crucial systems, and are claiming the whole thing is a hostile Lad Bible takeover - to mothball the site https://t.co/NoKV2iBGJM

— Luke Bailey (@imbadatlife) October 5, 2018

Hadn't thought of the positives to the universal credit reforms until today.

that is such bants

Gallagher threatening to reform Oasis is an incentive for people to vote Corbs, kudos

now if Tony Robinson could threaten to leave the country everything would be perfect

Threaten to reform the Time Team, er, team.

The rabid anti-semite Taki has also threatened to leave if Corbyn is PM, would prefer it if some kind of legally binding deportation document could be drafted, rather than just idle talk.

Talking of top bants.

.@PenguinUKBooks @scarcurtis @GirlUp pic.twitter.com/jnWx1BLM4k

— Topshop (@Topshop) October 5, 2018

what

Phil Green personally yanked the display because he’s mad at Penguin for publishing an unflattering biography of him. The schmuck.

As I may have mentioned before one of his bodyguards once stood on my toe so I'm not surprised.

They kept it up for 20 minutes, I mean, how long do you ladies need to dismantle patriarchy for heaven's sake?

I haven’t bought anything from one of his shops since UKUncut called him out as a tax cheat.

Gorblimey, Charlie, ain't you the bleedin' Remoaner and no mistake, Gordon Bennett!

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2018/oct/05/millionaire-refuses-take-down-bollocks-brexit-poster

In numbers
83%
of Tories see Theresa May as a decent person against 48% for Boris Johnson; it is 47% and 30% among voters of all parties, including Tories.

81%
of Tories say May has nation’s best interests at heart; 52% say Johnson. It is 43% and 30% among all voters.

63%
of Tories see May as a strong leader against 39% for Johnson. Among all voters it is 32% and 27%

poll by Opinium taken after the conference shows Boris polling badly within the party and with the electorate. Game over probably. Just got the new Graun approved, faux-Centrist Marm version of TM to hate now and she's shown a few times now she can pass Richard Pryor's concept of the ultimate test: "the ultimate test is whether or not you can survive death. That's the ultimate test for your ass".

Should we start a new thread? I think things are going to move very fast over the next few days and this one is approaching 5000 messages now.

I was just thinking that.

Silly inappropriately flippant title reqd.

lol we're all gonna die pt 2: DIE HARDER

vg

No bananas today?

tomorrow's glorious vote would be a perfect closer to this beast of a thread. not married to it tho.

fully automated misery communism vs austerity - the future's looking shite.

"(they) will fuck us all with their blithe ignorance"

probably potential for a new thread title in there, or even if not good work anyway.

― calzino, Saturday, 22 December 2018 16:05 (three weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If I can also recommend this from before Christmas (although I much prefer the banana one)

"(they) will fuck us all with their blithe ignorance"

probably potential for a new thread title in there, or even if not good work anyway.

― calzino, Saturday, 22 December 2018 16:05 (three weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If I can also recommend this from before Christmas (although I much prefer the banana one)

Let's call the whole thing off?

No bananas (and other summer jams)

I figure tomorrow's vote and its immediate fallout will be good for another grand!

Full Blobby, Punished Edmonds: the Brexit thread

A+

Good luck UK. Btw japan is just about to loosen its immigration policy, so you have options.

― American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Monday, 14 January 2019 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

So we don't need the EU to actually relax our migration policy? Like Japan, we can allow people to just come in anyway. And we can do so where migrants can get jobs that pay well under good conditions, and to live in stable tenancies, and to get on with their lives without fear and discrimnation propagated by a right-wing media?

Sounds cool.

"To Hell with the rest of the world": Colin the Angry Owl speaks for no-one. UK Brexit endgame thread.

He's ready!

Ninth Dimensional chess and Unicorn hunting - anything could happen now May's lost the Brexit vote

Is that even true of Japan? I’d describe JP as a lot of things but friendly to foreigners isn’t one of them. When I was there before Christmas the metro had loads of ads encouraging people to be nice to foreigners because the Olympics were coming up. Suspect it may be more in line with the Gulf state guest worker model.

On that note, I wonder how much hate of EU immigrants here is driven by the fact we have most of the same rights as British people? Obviously some things are difficult but it’s pretty easy to establish a life in the EU under freedom of movement.

Yes, Japan treats foreigners, especially non-white low skilled foreigners like shit,. And it has a government that panders to its knuckle dragging nationalist elements by fighting with Russia over some islands and killing whales.

Nick Ferrari to Boris Johnson: "I would suggest he [the Chief Executive of Land Rover] knows more about car manufacturing than you do"

Boris Johnson: "Interesting point. I'm not certain he does."

— Shehab Khan (@ShehabKhan) January 14, 2019

I was joking re: Japan. But Ed's post shows that that you don't need the EU for open borders if you actually open them to everybody that wants to come.

re the tsunami of rightist populism that everyone predicts continued FOM would unleash - and let's not pretend grayling et al are that different from the avg ILX poster IN THAT RESPECT - i say let's fight them in the fucking fields if that's their point of view. what's the alternative? knuckle? ("you can have any colour of closed border you want as long as it's white") i mean fuck off. i realise i personally wouldn't be at the pointy of that fight so it's quite easy for me to say but i'm not feeling this 5D chess of like, preemptively accepting closed borders just so we keep Jack Asshole happy

I agree with you - fascism has to be met with social and physical force. But we’re not the ones who have to face the mosque/refugee centre burnings, the street attacks etc. we have to step up, if we’re facing a future with a larger far-right than we currently experience.

(And I’m a pudgy ex-pacifist, I’m not ready for that stuff atm)

It doesn’t help that good old Tony and sensible Yvette keep coming out to be give the béal bocht about freedom of movement, like “obviously it’s nice to have but sacrifices must be made...” - fuck right off. And the thing is that this position is held by most of the media that’s not openly fash-baiting.

xps.

Japan's also looking to formalise language testing for migrants, in the way that the UK has. I'd say that around 80% of the learners who would have gone from Nepal to the UK, when they were still able to support their study with work, are now going to Japan.

I've heard some interesting rumours that the Home Office is going to streamline the immigration system post-Brexit to make it less painful for applicants. The numbers will probably be capped but there's a fear both of a brain drain and of missing out on highly-skilled workers. It can't be overestimated how many of the Byzantine processes were simply just to deter people from applying in the first place.

I've heard some interesting rumours that the Home Office is going to streamline the immigration system post-Brexit to make it less painful for applicants

Interesting also because how many times has this been tried and how many times has it failed miserably already? Early days but I can't see a Tory Home Office post-brexit make things less painful for anyone, let alone applicants.

I'm not sure they've ever really tried to make anything easier in the past. They've tended to talk up the idea that the UK is open for business while making things as difficult as possible.

The system, as it stands, is pretty much designed to ensure that potential migrants a) don't bother b) give up or c) are rejected on technicalities - that's not going to be sustainable if you're funneling new EU migrants through the same route and expecting to maintain London as a European commercial centre. The numbers and qualifying metrics (particularly around salary) are like to be quite heavily controlled but the processes don't necessarily need to be quite so aggressively awful.

Settled status applications are a shitshow waiting to happen.

I was going to say, I don't think the Brexiters went through all this shit just to end up with a UK outside the EU that opens borders and welcomes all migrants.

Tough shit.

Live by the sovereignty, die by the sovereignty, or something.

Thankfully Dominic Raab has come out with an incredible new policy. Asbos for businesses? Yes and ho!

so listen is this going down tonight or what

and did she rly threaten the dup with a "no-deal will mean the end of the union"

The vote? Thought that was tomorrow. We should probably start a new thread by then, assuming it doesn’t get shelved again.

Vote is tomorrow, inshallah.

didn't look like this was covered

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/gareth-johnson-resigns-tory-whip-government-ahead-of-theresa-mays-brexit-deal-vote-a4038371.html

Brexiteer Conservative MP Desmond Swayne calls on Theresa May to suspend parliament until April in order to "guarantee Brexit."

— Adam Bienkov (@AdamBienkov) January 14, 2019

Very normal!

NEW THREAD:
"oh you don't get me I'm the end of the union": lol brexit is how we're all gonna die

plz to lock this one