Old ILX Posts Which Continue To Haunt Your Thoughts

XP - Haha, welp, time to drag my sorry self to the 'Times you have made an ass out of yourself irl with music' thread.

Oh I thought it was the sexual qualities thread

the days where we argued vehemently about whether the Beatles or pizza were more omnipresent seem so innocent now; they will have been so beautiful

I kinda thought MaresNest was going McBane "That Is the Joke" on me!

Beatles or pizza

depends on whether you are lactose intolerant or McCartney intolerant

one should be avoided by people who can’t tolerate cheese and the other is pizza

This post from Momus in 2003 haunts my thoughts when I'm about to post or write anything negative:

Andrew, this is yet more blog despondency (blogspondency?) -- one begins to wonder whether there is therapeutic value in the semi-public admission of negative feelings, or whether they just anchor and externalise what would otherwise be trivial and transitory moods. 'I think I may just be wallowing in self-pity' says the author. Well, yes. 'It just goes further to suggest that I don't have a creative bone in my body. Fuck it.' No, don't fuck it! You're in the entertainment industry now, lad, the roar of the crowd, the sizzle of the greasepaint! It may just be a blog, but pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and let's do the show right here! 5

the sizzle of the greasepaint?

Theatrical makeup under stage lights

i'm a real entertainer, pat me down with a paper towel to remove excess grease

kenan wrote this on thread Do you feel awkward when buying condoms? on board I Love Everything on Apr 10, 2007

there's this slummy liquor store/drug store around the corner from me, and the only brand of condoms on display behind the counter are Magnums. As if to say, this is a big dick store for big dick people. Buy some big dick whiskey and big dick cigarettes and big dick condoms, why dontcha?

wow, kenan found the original big dick energy, 11 years ahead of the curve

(that last part is also a dick joke btw)

That Momus post is great

have to put sheets on my bed, would pretty much rather kill myself

― J0rdan S., Monday, July 18, 2011 2:05 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark

― dayo, Monday, July 18, 2011 4:10 AM (seven years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Feeling that.

sorry libs, ted cruz is fuckable now

― fans annoyed as emily atack screams over nick knowles' kumquat (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 8 December 2018 14:04 (five hours ago)

five hours ago is old now?

an instant classic, as it were

Ted Cruz's First Fuckable Day

Jesus, no

So he was totally fuckable before today, is what you're saying.

ted cruz is a straight hottie and all of you have known it since 1983 when risky business came out

fair point

http://robindescamp.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Ted_Cruz_harmless_ducks.jpg

^do not heed if you rate me (wins) wrote this on thread so i was at dinner with a britisher. she ordered a prawn and rocket pizza. when it came, she put ketchup on it. I have pics on board I Love Everything on Jul 15, 2013

That salad is the sort of thing ppl sometimes do on come dine with me and they're really confident that it'll win them the competition, as theyre cooking they say to camera "I came up with it myself, the secret is to put pringles in the soup" and then later it cuts to one of the horrified guests going "it tasted a bit like he put...pringles...in the soup?"

Not entirely sure why, but it stays with me.

Context:

guy right behind me (in a call centre, mind) comes in, sits at his desk at 8.59, waits for the first call of the day, inhales like he's about to cartoon blow the fuckin wall down and says EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWW until lunch time. he takes an hour off, bums round, whatever, sits back at desk, another huge breath in, fills the aul lungs up good, that phone rings, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, EEEEEEEEEEEEEYY-AWWWWWWWWWWWWW until 5pm, logs off, goes home, presumably to a fuckin stable i dunno

― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Tuesday, July 17, 2012 3:26 PM (six years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The post that actually haunts me:

haaaaa

I solved it!

We just got a call in from someone insisting on caint as gaeilge- it was transferred to this guy, and he speaks irish like a warrior poet, and QUIETLY

― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 4:29 AM (six years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

god that fella turned out to have a tragic tale might write it out sometime

do we have a crazy coworkers you were afraid would stab you then you found out their story and you pitied them but were just as sure they would eventually stab you thread

No but we definitely need that thread.

the plot thickens

I had a very similar experience with a coworker I later found out was a Vietnam veteran

I worked with a guy recently who loathed me and I loathed him, an older guy, everybody nicknamed him *Blakey but I said he was more like **Nosferatu... only scarier. Anyway, I'm sure there's a tragic story behind him, he'd been demoted either because of drink or inability with new technology or both and people who knew him years ago said he was completely different and a pretty nice guy.

*from 'On the Buses'
**not from 'On the Buses'

Mind you, there are some people who stick up for him and who find him very helpful and pleasant - but they are all, without exception, attractive younger women.

the bastard

I imagine him assimilating them with a horrible gurgling drooling sound like something out of Burroughs.

it was so iconic when lagoon posted

who da fuq is ross

Apparently you mistook Must-See TV for a suggestion.

i smell a class action suit. what is monetary equivalent of several years worth of thursday nights from my youth that i can never get back?

Hi, this is John Maus. Watch Qaddafi's death videos on Spotify.

― polyphonic, Friday, 21 October 2011 07:45 (seven years ago) Permalink

i'm not sure what klimt's the kiss is *actually* about, but it makes me feel sad because it vividly depicts to me a love and a tenderness that i have never found to exist in real life, and it saddens me that i haven't and also it saddens me that i have doubt that it exists at all.

― gem (trisk), Monday, 6 September 2004 07:43 (fourteen years ago)

Really stupid mistakes are just Nature's way of creating everlasting remorse that will sink its barbs into your mind and fester there like gangrene for the rest of your life. That'll teach you.
― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, July 30, 2005 6:45 PM (thirteen years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

(On a modestmickey thread - unusually tactless for Aimless)

You never followed my distinguished career on Ask A Drunk.

this post has been quoted and acknowledged elsewhere but I want to bring up again this excellent Fizzles post circa its 5.5 year anniversary

craftsmanship, consumerism, virtue, privilege, and quality

Best Buy 3 wrote this on thread Most despicable character on It's Always Sunny In Philly... on board I Love Everything on Jul 9, 2010

It's an amazing show, and you can pick up both seasons for only $34.99. My name's Jason and I can help you with all your television comedy questions.

So my kid's been sick with diarrhea for a while. Doctors don't really know what's wrong with him. They think he had a virus and his intestines aren't bouncing back quite like they should or something. He's been managing through life but just constantly has the shits. Anyhow, we brought home a collection kit from the doctor's yesterday and we collected a sample. Wife texts me from home just now and somehow they've misplaced it. Just a lonely little diarrhea sample lurking in our house somewhere.

― how's life, Wednesday, April 29, 2015 9:44 AM bookmarkflaglink

sooooo....didja wind up ever finding it? have this image of like, finding it 4 years later and there being rodents and flies everywhere.

I have no idea! oh dear god.

We've discussed the theme song already:

Law and Order show
Law and Order show now
Law and Order show
Okay so first comes the law part,
and then comes the order part
First we'll arrest them and
then we'll indict them and
then ...

There is gonna be a twi - ist
And it'll blow your mind

Law and Order show ...

― nabisco, Friday, October 26, 2007 1:54 PM (twelve years ago) bookmarkflaglink

orrrder show

I have no idea! oh dear god.

irl tee hee

lol nabisco's law and order lyrics

Was Nabisco a script consultant on Netflix's Love?

The post that actually haunts me:

haaaaa
I solved it!

We just got a call in from someone insisting on caint as gaeilge- it was transferred to this guy, and he speaks irish like a warrior poet, and QUIETLY

― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 4:29 AM (six years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Monday, December 10, 2018 9:52 AM (one year ago) bookmarkflaglink

god that fella turned out to have a tragic tale might write it out sometime

do we have a crazy coworkers you were afraid would stab you then you found out their story and you pitied them but were just as sure they would eventually stab you thread

― puppy bash (darraghmac), Monday, December 10, 2018 10:28 AM (one year ago)

ok darragh now this is the post that haunts my thoughts