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I came out Sunday night to put the trash out, and I look over and he is bent over, winding up his hose...

My local bar: https://www.channel3000.com/news/crime/mpd-man-who-caused-scene-exposed-himself-at-mickey-s-bar-attempts-to-swim-away-from-police/802533767

The wet man was not happy

Plainclothes police enter a shopping centre in a rural town, shoot a bird, and leave.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/hannahryan/police-shooting-magpies-lismore

Sometimes there is a presentation of some sort of news, that is so beautiful, and so odd, that you don’t even want to find out any more information than you’ve been given. For me, this was one of those moments.

"When you’re going down the pendulous breasts fly up like wings," said one organizer of the Skywhale hot air balloon's newest journey. "It's really got a life to itself." https://t.co/JchEHcCp3V
— The New York Times (@nytimes) October 18, 2018

What I see and what I know is that there’s a hot air balloon, shaped like a whale—and for some reason, a reason I will must never find out—the whale has a toupee of skinny breasts dangling off either side, that apparently float upwards as the balloon descends. Australia, thank you for this gift.

Woman gives it some classic "stand next to it and point at it for the photo" in this "wild ducks terrorise (and shit all over the sidewalk of) residential area" story: https://www.gva.be/cnt/dmf20190124_04129619/wilde-eenden-terroriseren-woonwijk

Is she a local councillor?

No, she lives in the area and complains about having to clean it up (and blames the council for feeding the wild ducks)

It's a classic local councillor pose, as immortalized in the fine Local councillors thread.

https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/crime/tim-eyman-under-investigation-in-theft-of-70-chair-from-office-depot/

yaaay fuck this guy

Police arrested a 38-year-old man for DUI for the second time in a week after he picked up his car from an impound lot, promptly crashed it into another vehicle, fled from police when they showed up at his house a short time later, and then sat in his truck outside his parents’ home in the gated Broadmoor community for several hours doing whippets as he ignored SPD negotiators.

Ah, is it springtime in the Ozarks already?

https://i.imgur.com/ook25Ml.jpg

*star-spangled banner plays, eagle cries in the distance*

They took turns donning the vest, btw, not both at once.

What were they arrested for?

Aggravated Assault - https://www.arkansasonline.com/news/2019/apr/03/affidavit-2-men-don-vest-shoot-20190403/?news-arkansas

They took turns donning the vest, btw, not both at once.

― pplains, Wednesday, April 3, 2019 7:12 AM (nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Don’t these things only work once

at least twice, seems like

Or six times.

*stuffs air bag back into steering column*

"OK! Your turn!"

Ferris told the deputy he had been shot six times, once in the chest and five times in the back, while protecting a man he called his "asset," according to the affidavit.

He went to the hospital after accidentally shooting himself in the penis, the report says. While a doctor was operating on the gunshot wound, a balloon of marijuana allegedly slipped out of his anus. And his troubles didn't end there. https://t.co/1MFA2mHz47

— KTVU (@KTVU) May 24, 2019

Editor's Note: This story initially reported the man accidentally shot himself in the penis. He actually accidentally shot himself in the testicles.

lock thread, that story will never be eclipsed

Weeds legal in Washington so why would you need to carry it in your anus?

a cry for help?

Detectives declined to arrest Wilson at the hospital and instead issued an arrest warrant on suspicion of second-degree felon in possession of a firearm and unlawful possession of meth. He was charged April 16.

Wilson, an East Wenatchee resident, turned himself in April 18. A detective told corrections officers at the Chelan County Regional Justice Center of Wilson’s proclivity to store marijuana in unconventional places.

During a strip search, another balloon of marijuana slipped from Wilson’s anus, according to a probable cause affidavit filed April 19 in superior court.

Kingston University campus evacuated over 'WW2 bomb'

I went to Kingston University and Fassett Road is right round the back of the main site. The countless number of times I've walked down that street and there was an unexploded bomb there the whole time!

I guess he read the health dept ads in the paper advising you to keep yr weed locked away from your children

an important sliver of cuisine history: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/gloucestershire/7587978.stm

catching up on old bookmarks, i was quite excited to see this in that chicken in a basket number:

A spokesman for owners Samuel Smith's said it was a "no comment situation".

gripped by a desire to use this at some point.

INXS guitarist suing Sydney boat hire company after severing finger

"I find my reattached ring finger to be an annoyance and unsightly."

at the mls all star game in portland i ate a weed brownie and thought i might float onto the field

loled at both these posts

"vince hunt's road!"

County councillor in resurfacing row https://t.co/cGVpTXJI7M pic.twitter.com/8J7dVLzG2T

— SHROPSHIRE (@DailySHROPSHIRE) August 14, 2019

Striking looking fellow.

An Iron Man balloon has triggered a major rescue operation after mistakenly being reported as a person wearing a jet pack over the waters in Fife.

HM Coastguard was called at 10:40am today after a witness reported seeing a person wearing a jet pack entering the water at Kirkcaldy.

The "person" had been seen hovering over the water and then disappeared.

ah yes, the classic blunder of assuming a floating human shape must be a person wearing a jetpack

(not local to me) (sadly)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EC6aRx1W4AEYVI0?format=png

https://www.nottinghampost.com/news/nottingham-news/boxing-legend-carl-froch-says-3353675

i mean the thing that boxers box in is called a ring and *it* isn't round so maybe he has a point

'I can't get a signal in Calverton. They [astronauts] had a conversation with Nixon in space.'

It's good how his standard for truth that the earth is round is having Richard Branson, of all people, go up in space to confirm this

"i refuse to accept that a particle can also be a wave until richard branson is successfuly fired into the sun"

now that's an experiment I can get behind

https://i.imgur.com/MhZ47k7.jpg

"Talk to me, astronauts."

https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/man-accused-shoplifting-says-i-3366800

"I felt like I was a little man, be it one with a large penis, against this big corporate company. It's so frustrating."

same

Would someone really go to the point of showing their penis if they weren't telling the truth?

two balls and the truth: the steve whitehurst story

When arrested one gang member was found with a Kinder Egg capsule stuffed with crack and heroin between his buttocks https://t.co/yCQ9aTB5Tb

— Manchester News MEN (@MENnewsdesk) October 3, 2019

top row, second from the right