your terrible ideas

Can I have a cup of water?
No, sorry, I'm out of cups. Sorry.
...What?

I really like a lot of these terrible ideas.

Terrible is the coward’s awesome

I've recently gotten into the habit of singing these really terrible, upbeat rearrangements of intensely-depressing songs (this morning featured a real swingy version of Bonnie Prince Billy's 'I See a Darkness' which was reminiscent of Bobby Darin's 'Mack the Knife' and Alan Parsons Project's 'Time' in the style of the Trashmen). So an album full of those is my terrible idea of the day.

Or, rather, the first of what I'm sure will be many terrible ideas generated by my brain today.

I am going to make myself a nice jalapeño full of cappuccino at my break today and will report back.

xpost

that's like the opposite of the person with acoustic guitar singing slow folky renditions of pop songs trope. it could be a hit!

how is that pepper-cup idea not from viz

Looking up threads that I posted in my early 20s. Reading anything I wrote in my early 20s. Remembering anything from my early 20s.

Oh definitely. Revisiting anything from one’s past is generally a nightmare

Reporting back: my pepper leaked.

swap men’s rooms with women’s rooms at unpredictable intervals to keep everyone on their toes

GWAR on Drugs -- a War on Drug cover band that wears GWAR costumes.

*War on Drugs cover band

GWAR on Drukqs

a nice jalapeño full of cappuccino is fun to say out loud

hell of a pain though

chili rellenope

YTI: achieve a stratospherically successful career as a rapper under the name gnirutaeF.

Then I could guest on other artists' singles, and it would say "Featuring gnirutaeF."

Tofurken: a chicken inside a tofurkey

aka Buddha’s Dismay

a bit of viral marketing for Zip Recruiter -- The Zipruiter Film. It's the Zapruder Film overlaid with select Zip Recruiter marketing language about "always getting the right person" etc.

omg

I'm not trying to demonize these particular secret service members, but perhaps the fit just wasn't good. maybe the U.S. government had been searching for a long time and eventually settled for some unqualified candidates? Of course, there are many terrible directions one could take this thing.

a bit of viral marketing for Zip Recruiter -- The Zipruiter Film. It's the Zapruder Film overlaid with select Zip Recruiter marketing language about "always getting the right person" etc.

― for i, sock in enumerate (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, September 12, 2018 5:54 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

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Here's a terrible (and, of course, stupid) idea along these lines: a presidential historical memorabilia store organized in such a way that any customer who comes in looking for JFK-related items is directed back and to the left.

Zip Recruiter: set your sights on a new job.

(dissolve from Zapruder film to LBJ taking the oath of office on the plane) See? This guy just got a new job!

xp lol Lunch.

tangent: I was in a toy store a while ago and asked an employee where they keep the invisible ink. He told me, but we also talked about it was a missed opportunity to say either "It was around here somewhere...." or "It's right there! Can't you see it?"

lol "Where do you keep the JFK memorabilia?" "Back, and to the left."

A Lovecraft-themed frozen yogurt shop called Yog-Softserve. Or maybe 'Sothtserve'?

Why not Lovecraft-branded yoga clothing from Cthulhulemon?

Big budget remake of Jaws with an obvious Trumpalike in the Murray Hamilton role

Henley henleys.

A line of henley shirts that all have a screen-printed image of Eagles drummer / solo artist Don Henley on them.

Here's a quick mockup if you're interested in investing in this venture.

https://i.imgur.com/PjJ5B7B.jpg

Souvenirs for when you visit the south-west-England suburb of Henleaze

A separate yet parallel business venture will be Glenn Fries, which are French fries that have images of Glenn Frey sprayed onto them with edible ink.

Joe Walsh® Jowl Wash

Henley Henley Tea Tees -- T-Shirts featuring an imaginary brand of tea called Henley Tea where the box prominently features Don Henley's face and the shirt features the box.

Er, Henley Tea Henley Tees

Watch your step, Puffin.

would be cool if 'take it easy' incited more litigation than any other song ever

I'm frankly a little surprised the Eagles didn't market the shit out of themselves a la Kiss. Trying to imagine what their ultra-crass, Kiss Kasket-esque product would be. Like maybe a line of Peaceful Easy Feeling lethal injection drugs for prisons.

surely they would have just opened a chain of Hotel Californias.

surely the gamble was to not merchandise in that way, in order to maintain huge catalog record sales as being "all about the music, man." plus t-shirts.

I think you might be overestimating the fun and ease of being financially responsible for a large chain of hotels.

Did a Marriott commit suicide or is that a fake fact I just invented?

Seemingly I made that up but it’s a good fake fact. “A member of the Marriott family killed himself from the stress of running the multinational hotel chain.”

(me a few years from now telling that story)

"yeah i know i heard that somewhere...)