I feel like I've got the Daggers of Megiddo skewering my arse. Have been having warm 15 min shallow baths, have imbibed Epsom salts in water, have loaded up a few torpedoes. This is so unbearable I actually broke down into tears last night when my son was having a meltdown. He was quite amused and started laughing at me! I have took tons of Co-dydramol and still couldn't sleep and was just shifting about restlessly all night.
― calzino, Friday, 10 August 2018 10:29 (five years ago) link
at least you have a new strategy for tackling meltdowns
― the Joao looked at Jonny (Noodle Vague), Friday, 10 August 2018 10:31 (five years ago) link
I was having an important meeting with a social worker earlier, and couldn't concentrate, couldn't sit down and kept re-directing the topic to how bad my piles were!
― calzino, Friday, 10 August 2018 10:32 (five years ago) link
i don't think i've ever had the full on Nobby experience but anything painful in that area is uncomfortable enough to shatter yr concentration
― the Joao looked at Jonny (Noodle Vague), Friday, 10 August 2018 10:33 (five years ago) link
'Eat less and make it mostly fibre' usually does it for me. Running helps too.
― pomenitul, Friday, 10 August 2018 10:36 (five years ago) link
I'm just eating some dried Chilean Orchard Prunes for dinner #cureworsethandisease
― calzino, Friday, 10 August 2018 10:39 (five years ago) link
'haemorrhoids must go' is my favourite manics single
― a space stewardess (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 10 August 2018 10:39 (five years ago) link
Arse grapes of wrath. Nightmare.
― Tim, Friday, 10 August 2018 10:57 (five years ago) link
CLOV: I can't sit.
― pomenitul, Friday, 10 August 2018 11:02 (five years ago) link
Why is turrican still here tho
― jeremy cmbyn (wins), Friday, 17 August 2018 16:01 (five years ago) link
well done, sir.
― A is for (Aimless), Friday, 17 August 2018 23:47 (five years ago) link
Get one of those add-on bidets for your toilet and skip the paper for a while.
― Cow_Art, Saturday, 18 August 2018 01:39 (five years ago) link
Nip it in the bum
― F# A# (∞), Saturday, 18 August 2018 07:38 (five years ago) link
the best toilet roll to use is obv that fibre glass stuff with flint chippings and swarf integrated into its fabric. You'll be out-dancing Nureyev in no time!
― calzino, Saturday, 18 August 2018 08:42 (five years ago) link
I'm in hell. Sitting in a sitz bath during work.
It's either roids or really irritated skin but man it sucks.
Need to get a special pillow to sit on
― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Thursday, 8 December 2022 20:09 (one year ago) link
put one of those hemorrhoid suppositories into my butthole and i did not like the sensation at all.
also my mother walked in without knocking midway. that'll be an awkward Christmas dinner convo
― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Thursday, 22 December 2022 20:01 (one year ago) link
I don't like using those torpedoes, my arse is so catholic it keeps trying to pop it back out again! Not that it is any less horribly uncomfortable than squeezing a tube of zinc oxide up there with that intimidating looking applicator .. lol
― calzino, Thursday, 22 December 2022 20:35 (one year ago) link
my previous experience was only w/ the applicator but apparently they don't sell that version near me anymore.
lol welp....hopefully a week of this gross sensation is all i need
― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Thursday, 22 December 2022 20:37 (one year ago) link