a lighthearted, Ocean's Eleven-esque heist movie about the 9/11 conspirators
― .oO (silby), Thursday, December 28, 2017 11:15 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
don't do that to me right before bed. I can already see the split screen star wipes on the security videos, a box cutter wobbling down a walmart conveyor belt...
― pplains, Thursday, December 28, 2017 11:32 PM
The meta-terrible idea is this is the designated bomb in an updated version of The Producers
― .oO (silby), Friday, December 29, 2017 12:13 AM
pilot lesson montage to that music, too
― mh, Friday, December 29, 2017 10:07 AM
I am a horrible human being. Just warning you all.
― pplains, Thursday, 30 August 2018 13:35 (five years ago) link
(Please hit play)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4v8YQ6sU6I4
It was a mission that couldn't fail – what could go wrong?
SCENE: CAVE - INTERIOR
KHALID
So we'll need two planes to fly into each building...
OSAMA
No, no. Just one. You fly into the north tower, from the north, right? And it shall knock over into the south tower. Like dominoes. (Slaps hands together.) One bird, two stones, you see?
KHALID
But let me just offer that... yes... won't the plane just shoot through the building? I mean, the towers were basically constructed as skeletons held up by a steel core...
OSAMA
(Angrily) And then what? What do you think happens next? Mr. Architect? Jet fuel can't melt steel beams!
All it would take... would be a little teamwork...
SCENE: AIRPLANE HANGER - INTERIOR
THE HIJACKERS have JARRAH cornered by the coffee machine
JARRAH
Hey guys. Uh. What, what's going on?
ATTA
Just wondering, Jarrah, how, you know, exactly how you plan to handle your mission if the passengers push back. (Looks back at crew behind him and chuckles.) I mean, we've seen your training today, you seem a little soft in this area.
JARRAH
I am not soft! I know exactly what I will do! I am fully trained in this department! I will simply get on the intercom and say (in generic American pilot's accent) "This is your captain speaking. We are going back to the airport." And then, THEN everyone will settle down!
ATTA and OTHER HIJACKERS just stare at JARRAH with arms folded. Some begin chuckling as well.
JARRAH
Sounds OK, right?
QUICK ZOOM-IN and QUICK ZOOM-OUT to JARRAH in COCKPIT - INTERIOR. CAMERA rotates in steady 360º. Headset around JARRAH's neck. Sandwiches and ginger ale cans bouncing around. THE PASSENGERS are pummeling him in the head with their fists.
JARRAH
NOOOOOOOO!
Teamwork... and a lot of planning
SCENE: HAMBURG STREET CAFE - EXTERIOR.
KHALID and ATTA sit at a small cast-iron table, drinking espressos.
KHALID
So the boss is pretty serious about this. Says you will take out the towers and al-Shehhi gets the Empire State.
ATTA
(Nearly spits out espresso.) Take out the towers? You mean both of them? I'm a pilot, not a professional bowler, Khalid! (laughs at own joke.)
KHALID
You listen closely, ok? This doesn't come from me. (Strokes imaginary beard.) This comes from above. You hit the towers. Al-Shehhi plays King Kong. You got this? Or... do we need to find someone else who can handle the job?
ATTA
(Sighs heavily. Looks at German sports car parked on street playing "Bingo Bango" by Basement Jaxx.) No. Tell the boss I got this.
It was a plan that the whole world would ... never forget.
SCENE: AIRPLANE HANGER - INTERIOR
ATTA is addressing THE HIJACKERS
ATTA
So it'll be me and my crew first with the towers. Al-Shehhi and his boys come in after me with the Empire State. Jarrah's got the Capitol covered. We're all set, so let's begin discussing how the plane tickets on–
HANJOUR
Excuse me!
ATTA
Yes, what is it, Hanjour -- oh, crap. I forgot again, didn't I?
(HIJACKERS all begin chuckling a little.)
HANJOUR
(Angrily) You always forget! If anything, me and my crew will be hitting the most important target!
ATTA
Ah yes, yes. Of course. Hey, everyone, let's all not forget that Hanjour and his crew will be taking on the Pentagon. (Starts to giggle) Hope you know how to fly a hologram, Hanjour.
(HIJACKERS all start cracking up.)
HANJOUR
(Angry, pointing at everyone.) Shut up! Shut up! You know that joke isn't funny!
This summer, get ready for 'The Lollipop Branch' - a gang of misfits who don't know how to come down!
SCENE: WALMART CHECKOUT LANE - INTERIOR
CAMERA POV - LOOKING UP FROM CONVEYOR BELT
AL-SHEHHI picks up box cutter from belt and touches tip of blade
AL-SHEHHI
You see this?
ATTA
(Confused, slightly impatient) Yeah?
AL-SHEHHI
100% stainless steel.
ATTA waits a beat before chuckling and laughing, shakes head to himself.
ATTA
You, such the comedian. C'mon, let's roll.
This film has not yet been rated.
― pplains, Thursday, 30 August 2018 13:35 (five years ago) link