I SCORED A GOAL FFS

fake take on standing left let bounce a foot to my waiting right, outside of that foot across bamboozled defender fading into corner if u must know

Young Marseille fan was just supposed to kick it once... pic.twitter.com/RryFbymMS6

— Rick Metzroth (@MetzrothESPN) August 26, 2018

it me

have a new monday night game across the road from the flat, mighty.

low goals so i was v happy tonight to flick it over the last defender on the turn and then lob the approaching keeper on the volley

eleventh eleven a side match of the season for yr glorious hero

did not score a goal but set up one of our very few goals of the year, meaning out of a total of....ten team goals ive "been involved in" five

wheres my fuckin opta

We talking a rabona cross or...?

the rabona cross is actually a running weekly joke in the work five a side.

fellas our age need something to be doing i guess

i recruited the minister to our five a side game ffs

safe pair of hands

fair target

last minute proper scissor-legged, head flicked, front edge of box into far side netting header from a corner in a real eleven a side to equalise on 90 mins

cant buy a pint tonight lads

im gone a yard slow and very one footed, but every few weeks that foot is romarios. had the pleasure of a beaten opponent shouting "i cant stop the fat cunt" into the turf at a late stage tonight as another one went across the keeper and in off the far post.

your best self

note that i play three times a weke and the thread is only bumped every few months like

btw I can't help but noticing your DN is a riff on the imo standout track off the Luke Kelly album you showed me, one of the better songs I've heard lately, ty again for that

yes it is and yes it is

proud day, im now getting targeted

https://i.imgur.com/5IDtdAg.jpg

conversion rate of 6/7 tonight, one top corner first time across meself, one stud-rolled megs, one off the near post after giving him eyes the far

rolled back the years, im a disgrace most games these days

Congratulations

thanks tb are u kickin a ball at all yrself these days a mhic

I live my athletic dreams vicariously through my coworkers who show to the office up with crutches and casts on occasion

sports after forty are a game for suckers braver folks than I

xp yep ive done that too

non xp well fuck ya ive a year or two yet!

this isn't quite scoring a goal but note how confidently the shot at 2:04 is plucked from the air. camera alas cuts away before recording the ball returned inch-perfectly to the keeper

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGZhpN94oBY

have been playing in boots purchased dec 2018 all year (obv)

bit too long, which i hate, takes that vital immediacy of contact out of my toe-striking style (will defend this much-maligned technique to the death btw) and if im honest ive not enjoyed many of my games all year as a result, also ive been shit

researched a wider/shorter style and picked up a new pair of boots today en route to a local xmas derby match thats a bit of a tradition down the island, and from the moment i put them on i knew i was back.

scored a few crackers, top corner arced swervers, outside of boot faders, touch and all way better.

lads

theyre the same boot

same size, same model, i measured the fuckin things toe to tip.

truly the game is played in our heads

so yesterday

we're 5-2 up, but one of our better players has done his back so we're 9 v 10. I'm having an unusually indifferent game in goal. itching for a go outfield but having to be restrained. pull off my best save in years and then don't come for the ensuing corner which gets bundled in from a yard. get chipped twice. I'm restless. suddenly its 5-5, a man down, and I've had enough. off come the gloves with a panto flourish. our captain and left-back is practically press-ganged into goal and I announce I will play down the left side which is poor code for up front. our midfielder who tbuf has done little all game whines that we're giving up the game (I was keeping like a fool, couldn't he see?) but he probably has a point

anyway, so my first two shots are duff but my third one, after a flowing team move down the right which I started, sails into the roof of the net, past the guy who's chipped me twice and whose turn it was to be in goal. and your hero is not done there - two minutes later I pull off a backheel assist for our striker to lash home the 7th and his 6th. oh yeah, he'd scored all 5 when I came outfield. didn't have a strike partner until then. I make some sort of aggressively wry rejoinder to the given up the game guy but I hardly have to really, the point has been made. it finishes 8-5

well that's that. you did hand in your notice and hung up yr boots straight after, right?

not hanging up anything. a glorious goalscoring career against a bunch of ageing music nerds awaits

fwiw I would now dispute the oft-repeated claim that 4-2 is the most embarrassing winning score

Wait you're not with the ageing music nerds? 'Backheel Assist' a Cardiacs deep cut, surely.

ageing music nerd on ageing music nerd action. every few months in regents park. always looking for new players. ability optional, attitude optional

timely revive

11 a side tonight for our lot, in five degree conditions

new boots clean?

had a horror show last thurs, confidence is low

back to the old identical pair it is then

i was shite all year in them, weve moved on and im not revisiting

lads it wasnt great it wasnt awful it got us out into a beautiful evening im giving it a C+

Won a frame 53-46 on a re-spotted black tonight ahhh yeah that’s the stuff

entirely approve of this flex

actually, as i have alluded elsewhere, we don't have any sports in our isolation chamber/flat except a carrom board so expect some I POCKETED THREE COINS IN A ROW action soon enough

Ha, yeah. Check mate in nine moves ffs!