awkward attraction in professional settings

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“Brief, fairly chaste drunk; freshly married” is a poem

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 03:35 (five years ago) link

Well, I experienced that 2 years ago and we've now both left our very unhappy marriages for each other and life is quite complicated. Be careful out there kids.

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 03:45 (five years ago) link

Yeah, really not a risk here.

wayne trotsky (Simon H.), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 03:58 (five years ago) link

ever pop a boner at work for no explainable reason?

velko, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 05:36 (five years ago) link

Doesn’t mean they want to talk to you

― calstars, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 01:49 (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

we all gotta talk to ppl we'd rather not bytimes, even on message boards

dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 06:13 (five years ago) link

sidebar: man alive, does your kid have a makeup kit? we got a tiny one in a goodie bag at a fashion-themed birthday party recently, but it was quickly depleted. have wanted to get her another for dress-up, but no idea where to start.

how's life, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 09:54 (five years ago) link

I know I'm ovulating when I catch a glimpse of my line manager and think he's looking remarkably good. (Said manager is 1) married, 2) a father of two children, and 3) shorter than me. So far I've managed to keep my trap shut, but there was already a long list of reasons I want to leave this job.)

Polly of the Pre-Codes (j.lu), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 12:21 (five years ago) link

I grew up with mostly attractive women so i have no problems talking to them

so everyone's going to skim right past this interesting twist on "i don't hate women! my mother is a woman!!!"?
congrats on overcoming your attraction to your own relatives

na (NA), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 14:21 (five years ago) link

is it ok to tell a woman ‘hey nice haircut’ if they just got a new haircut?

flopson, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 14:24 (five years ago) link

xpost Congrats on overcoming whatever circumstances led you to apparently never encountering non-relatives until you were grown, NA. That must have been difficult, but you've risen above it admirably.

Hi My father very Rusted Root with me what can I do? (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 14:25 (five years ago) link

my mom hired my attractive cousin to be a teacher at her daycare, and ma says there’s a huge uptick in fathers picking up their kids lol. one of them straight up just gave my cousin an air conditioner

flopson, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 14:26 (five years ago) link

luv2be raised in captivity by supermodels

a Stupendous Leg of Granite (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 14:27 (five years ago) link

one of them straight up just gave my cousin an air conditioner

'you're always so hot so i thought this might help you cool down' *waggles eyebrows suggestively*

a Stupendous Leg of Granite (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 14:28 (five years ago) link

I grew up with mostly attractive women so i have no problems talking to them

love how i didn’t even have to scroll up to know who had posted this

flopson, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 14:29 (five years ago) link

U love it

F# A# (∞), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 15:06 (five years ago) link

Its the honest to god truth

I actually dont like going out to party w them bc guys have zero shame and were always crowded by randos trying to just talk to us (even me! in hopes id act as a hook up)

Loads of perks being attractive but also can tell why they distrust so many men

F# A# (∞), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 15:08 (five years ago) link

it's great if you need air conditioning tho tbf

a Stupendous Leg of Granite (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 15:10 (five years ago) link

Haha

F# A# (∞), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 15:18 (five years ago) link

AFAICT the best way to handle an office crush is to anonymously gift them an enormous fan with a card that reads 'from your second biggest fan'. And just let them figure out the part about being super-hot on their own.

Hi My father very Rusted Root with me what can I do? (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 15:23 (five years ago) link

you guys this is so not funny

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 15:24 (five years ago) link

co-worker: Vanilla Ice in the conference room.

5th Ward Weeaboo (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 15:45 (five years ago) link

Marky Mark in the sheets?

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 16:26 (five years ago) link

i'm not saying anyone in this thread is one, but horny dads in offices are a plight, and everyone notices it and privately shames them when they're not around

flopson, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 16:28 (five years ago) link

Yes, of course it's a problem, all absurd joeks aside.

I do not think I have in any way revealed or acted upon a work crush at any point in my employment history except for the ill-advised fling with my boss that one time. Have had my ass palmed by another boss, tho (awkward).

Hi My father very Rusted Root with me what can I do? (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 16:32 (five years ago) link

i apologize for doing a drive by up there but seriously unwanted attention in the workplace really sucks and should be avoided if you are able to control yourself. which you should be imo.

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 16:37 (five years ago) link

Don't apologize. I keep reopening this thread to rubberneck. On my fb yesterday a bunch of us were sharing the ridiculous holiday gifts given and things that have been said by male bosses/coworkers. Or the ones that actually thought they were in love based upon a work relationship. Although I don't think the original post was bad, just normal awkward.

Yerac, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 16:41 (five years ago) link

It can be different with gay men, but I'm not going to share my stories here...

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 16:44 (five years ago) link

i only apologize for being so brief about it -- not for the nature of my post. i really don't think it's funny and the joking aspect of this thread to me belittles the effect that unwanted attention has on the workplace environment. like just for a somewhat recent example - when one of my coworkers would look at me like i was a cute animal every time i talked to him and i had to go out of my way to avoid him because he was unable to disguise his feelings. it suuuuuuuucked. i hated every minute of it and i had to talk with him because of work.

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 16:51 (five years ago) link

good posts LL

This is a total Jeff Porcaro. (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 17:32 (five years ago) link

I think the joking aspect of this thread comes from 1. the initial post being awkward to the point of hilarity 2. if we can’t laugh out ourselves then we will probably resume other forms of self-harm

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 18:33 (five years ago) link

laugh at ourselves

FYAC

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 18:34 (five years ago) link

i think the comment in OP is sweet and harmless, hurting is clearly a gentleman and not a creep; it’s cute that he shared it and is obviously aware of how potentially problematic commenting on appearance can be. the real creeps at my old job were purely oblivious and it was a hardcore daily pattern

flopson, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 18:43 (five years ago) link

xp - i know where it comes from and why people joke -- i agree with the others and don't even think the opening story is that bad, mildly dorky

feel free to laugh at yourselves -- i simply urge you to remember 1) there are other people here and 2) laughing at yourself doesn't really do anything to solve the problem even though it relieves your own bad feelings. it may even increase group solidarity among people who have experienced similar (just like yerac's fb convo probably increased solidarity among that group)

i felt compelled to speak up because i am not a man. it's not the easiest thing to do but i did it anyway.

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 18:46 (five years ago) link

tbf I’m laughing at everyone else because I’m too insecure to do otherwise. That said, I think the key here is just to be attracted to everyone you work with and remember that the real reason you like them is that they’re good at their jobs and help you do your job better as a result.

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 19:27 (five years ago) link

I would never, ever look at someone else like they were a cute animal. That’s beyond patronizing and just a little bit gross besides

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 19:29 (five years ago) link

xp - i know where it comes from and why people joke -- i agree with the others and don't even think the opening story is that bad, mildly dorky

feel free to laugh at yourselves -- i simply urge you to remember 1) there are other people here and 2) laughing at yourself doesn't really do anything to solve the problem even though it relieves your own bad feelings. it may even increase group solidarity among people who have experienced similar (just like yerac's fb convo probably increased solidarity among that group)

i felt compelled to speak up because i am not a man. it's not the easiest thing to do but i did it anyway.

― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 18:46 (one hour ago) Permalink

appreciated and helpful

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 20:00 (five years ago) link

although dude if you can lighten the darkness with more reports of your dorkiness around pretty people then I am comfortable going on record encouraging that. 🖐

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 20:02 (five years ago) link


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