vh1's r0ck 0f l0ve

Jes is adorable, I hope for her sake that she doesn't win.

Sam is fucking hot, I promise I will not cheat around on her if she will be my bride.

magdelena should be starring in some nu-new wave video. not competing for the likes of bret michaels.

Brandi M. "can fit her fist in her mouth."

Must have been helpful in her former career.

polyphonic otm

oh, god. heather's special elimination hairdos give me nightmares! maybe bret keeps her around because she makes his fried locks look good.

Bret's hair is a wig. He's balding. I know this for a fact.

After Magdelena went to the shooting range and was like La Femme Nikita I gained a new respect for her, but she's not trashy enough for BMichaels.

Bret's hair is a wig. He's balding. I know this for a fact.

He is never not wearing a bandana/hat, it's pathetic.

that's why he wears it! keep the wig on.

I don't really get why Magdalena is on the show at all.

This show is much less interesting without Rodeo around.

you mean much less cringey

my bf's friend saw bret michaels at a premiere party and drunkenly went up to him and told him how much she loved poison as a teen. instead of thanking her, he leaned over and tried to french her.

you mean much less cringey

She is like the modern version of Gray Gardens, I just love her.

my wife met Bret Michaels once - cleaned his hotel room. He was late checking out and left behind a bag of weed (which she took and smoked). This was during the summer of '92, she was working as a cleaning lady in San Diego. She said he answered the door in speedos, a t-shirt, and a bandana and had some bimbo with him.

I wonder if he sleeps in the bandanna.

MEDIOCRACY

lauren i am impressed by your commitment

it's just that i'm very opposed to mediocracy. like bret is.

He totally just kept Lacey for the ratings, you could totally tell.

Hey, there is an article in today's NYT about this show. It's pretty funny. I'd provide the link, but I think it's password-protected or whatever. Sorry. Use bugmenot.com or whatever if it still exists. Or, just register; I think it's pretty worthwhile if you don't live in NYC/are too poor to buy the paper or whatever. I won't insult your intelligences further; it's easy enough to find in the style section.

God Bless.

heh.

oh my god, I am starting to creep even myself out. Note to self: No more "heh." stuck at the end of a post.

Um, God Bless.

heh.

Sample passage:

VH1’s “Rock of Love With Bret Michaels” is carnival sludge: a nauseating paste of fried dough, cigarette ash, salt and grain alcohol. The rococo pageantry and high spirits of “Flavor of Love,” the channel’s seminal reality dating competition, starring the hype man Flavor Flav, have gone missing from this, the rock version.

This series has trudged along like a heartbroken drunk since July 15, featuring the former Poison frontman Bret Michaels as the bachelor. New episodes appear on Sundays. Reruns appear always.

The well-meaning has-been Bret is surrounded with women who are too young, too frantic or too high to know that being easy isn’t funny in itself. These women drink large quantities of booze, caress Bret in groups of three and flaunt their skills at phone sex on national television. Many of them seem dangerously unwell, discolored, surgically altered, physically unbalanced and worryingly mood-disordered...

Uh, slate that. The article's not so much funny as it is disturbing. Sorry, I non-posted the link after only reading the first three paragraphs.

Okay, it's actually funny and disturbing. Just. like. life. I surpose.

his Reagan-era persona

Bret Michaels=Ferris Bueller=Alex P. Keaton?

No matter how you slice it, kill me now. SRSLY. OK. Go.d

Please. Bring Death swiftly. I am not mature enough to deal with the other human beings' craziness. My own is sufficient, thanks.

Heather is going to win this right? I think the drunken parents sealed the deal.

What is Jes doing there again?

if he does pick Jes,there is no way she stays with him.

lacey's dad: "is there any hair under there?"

is there? i want to see what's under that

me too!

does heather not know jes also boffed brett? she was shouting that lacey was the only one who had done 'all the sex stuff' with him.

'boffed'

sorry

re: the hair comment, i was so happy that lacey's father said what millions of viewers have been thinking. however, men who wear short-sleeved orange turtlenecks have no quarter to criticize the fashion choices of others. i didn't even know that turtlenecks with short sleeves existed!

lauren, you'll need to sign a prenup before you can get access to short sleeved turtlenecks.

she is from dallas - everything is illuminated

i don't see any reason to presume that heather will win

haha! really, that whole thing explained a lot about lacey.

xpost

re: heather, i think that she was gunning for lacey in the heat of the moment and didn't think to bring jes into it. she's not the wide-angle manipulator that lacey was, and also she's just not as vicious. oh, and she's kind of stupid and in denial. let's not forget that! i wouldn't be surprised if she thinks that nothing major happened between brett and jes.

Heathers father was the best. He was all over that free booze

southern ohio, y'all.

wonder how long he and jes will stay together.

poor girl

i didn't like heather, but i feel pretty bad for her. her choice and all to do this, i know, but...

I didn't like Heather, but by the end I felt like she and Brett were made for each other. Jess is gonna dump his diabetic ass within a week.

Brett pulled some Solomon level stuff there at the end with that question!

I think the moral of the story is "don't get a random guy's name tattooed on the back of your neck".

Heather= New york
Jes= Hoops

Isn't Lacey more like New York than Heather is?

yeah, maybe so.
I think either heather or lacey would have probably stayed with bret.
but there is no way jes stays with him

"stays with him" ha - I can't believe you guys actually think this show has any bearing on the stars' daily lives. This is all just for show, kids.