rolling "ban larry appleton or whoever" thread

This is why you guys lose. You attack someone who can bring it, an ally, at that. Trash an ally, and your enemy sees his power and brings him on board after being throw out like a piece of garbage by you people. HHAHAHAHAHA.

Now I understand why the military officers in my family told me to go this way. It's because of you people. It's why we're winning, and you're losing. Ban me. I could give a fuck at this point after all I've seen.

There’s a button you can push

― El Tomboto

this thread is to alert ILX users regarding said button-pushing

Push buttons please

Push it, you pussies. My good heart means literally nothing to you people.

My only allies have ever been other people from military backgrounds. People who have seen the disgusting, awful shit of this world.

You cowardly, weak pieces of shit. Can't even fight or sacrifrice your lives for what you supposedly believe in. Why the hell I even tried for you people, it was my own idiocy.

I put my neck out to try and help, and you want to chop it off. No wonder this whole mess is a fucking loss. HA! So be it. Rot in hell, fuckers.

Well, you're certainly helping the process along.

you people

Pro tip funzo, nobody with a "good heart" uses the phrase "you pussies". Just saying like.

How many lives have you saved because of your resolve and courage? Count them out for me.

My god, no wonder you guys are losing. You confuse fierceness with some weird-ass SJW bullshit. Of course you're getting crushed like insects right now.

l’apps deeep breaths,

The person who taught me the word "pussies" built hospitals and schools and clubs and organizations to help people. What the fuck have you done?

Yeah.

focus on a single point in the middle distance
breathe deeply
let your eyes lose focus

what color do you see when you close your eyes? what color when you reopen them?

Sorry, man, these people bitch and moan about the world around them, but when faced with reality, they piss their pants and fill their diapers. I have no respect for that. Guess it drives me crazy.

When offered knowledge and tools that could help them, they fill their diapers max capacity. Don't know why the hell I even bothered.

in my writing, for work and in personal correspondence, i find being as precise as possible helps not only the reader but my own thought process

https://goo.gl/images/H9g986

Funzo is fun

I've made people tens of millions of dollars doing that in a matter of months. If I were a better contract negotiator, I'd be rich myself ATM. I dont' even know why i'm bothering with this shit.

Fuck politics. I'm getting rich, baby. Seeya!

bye

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xEmlVhEnIpc

well that was entertaining

I put my neck out to try and help, and you want to chop it off. No wonder this whole mess is a fucking loss. HA! So be it. Rot in hell, fuckers.

― funzone76, Friday, June 22, 2018 12:48 AM (six hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It's like he's transcribing every super sincere apology I've ever delivered to some undeserving little SOB or another.

Larry, I want to thank you for all your posts itt. It really streamlines the whole 'flag post' process.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c9/I_Voted_Sticker.JPG/320px-I_Voted_Sticker.JPG

You might be too late, Aimless. It looks like Larry's taken off, and I'm certain that we've seen the absolute last of him, without a doubt. He definitely got the message this time. Foooooor sure.

he's just sleeping it off

He wears his heart on his sleeve, man. Not sure where he wears his brain.

https://youtu.be/rjRLsVhEnfM

now I'm wondering if larry is actually this dude who works in a different group at work. sounds like him. if so, he's taken the afternoon off and is furiously chain smoking behind the VFW this afternoon

Chain smoking crack

OMG, I can picture larry furiously chain-smoking behind a VFW so vividly I cannot even tell you.

larry just wants to be fully appreciated as the good-hearted genius out to save the world that he knows himself to be. if we all knew him as he deserves to be known, we would sit at his feet, nodding appreciatively and vigorously for as long as he wished to grace us with his pearls of wisdom, interjecting little cries of amen! and hear! hear! and small bursts of applause.

I wish him joy of his impending riches, just as I anticipate some day enjoying his fierce impact on our unworthy nation of pussies.

this just makes me sad if he was originally the user I think he was prior to larry appleton

I'll live. Apologize for my drunken rant here, I'll take my leave after this.

I probably won't become a millionaire. That's from my last job in marketing working for a batshit insane ex-mercenary on Wall Street. Learned how it worked, and used some homebrew techniques to increase sales by up to 400% on some campaigns. If I had enough capital, I could probably make a shit ton of money. Sure as fuck nowhere near that right now, though.

That was a motherfucking scary situation I just got out of.

Bottom line is, too many "wacky larry appleton adventures" has burned my brain out. I'll get my shit sorted.

Seeya!

https://perfectstrangersreviewed.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/noisemaker.gif?w=809

Be well. Sincerely.

I enjoy funzone76 it's like a Mamet ilxor

Guys...he's clearly just going to keep flinging his shit at the walls until you physically eject him and bar the door from the inside.

Uuuugh do we really have to wait for 51 with this guy

― Dan I., Monday, 25 June 2018 23:52 (yesterday)

If you dudes are crypto Trump supporters, just throw it out there, you cowards.

If you're not, you're even bigger cowards!

funzo I hope you're able to get whatever help it is you need but in the meantime maybe stay away from the internet idk

otm

What help is that, the kind of mind game you play to protect yourself from what I'm saying?

I've seen what I'm talking about here in raw numbers and power. Fuck. No point in wasting my time on this shit anymore, if this is how I'm treated.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Sn3nyJA4u8

The person who taught me the word "pussies" built hospitals and schools and clubs and organizations to help people. What the fuck have you done?

― funzone76, Friday, June 22, 2018 1:07 AM (three days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

is this a dril tweet

lol

that post is seriously amazing

Larry, serious question: have you ever had an entire conversation with another human being? Like one where the other person was physically able to leave but chose to remain and complete the conversation? If so, why do you think it only happened the once?

Nah, it's shit you can find in museums and maps. Dudes, I only post here when I'm drnk and want to vent, so you get the wack version of me.

xp, Yeah, I've had conversatons with people. Geneally people say, "that's the funnest conversaton 've had all day", afte adlbibing a 10 minte story.

Okay, so that's a no, then.

Right.

that sounds like a short conversation with coworkers this morning where one complimented my pants, which seemed genuine, and after returning to my desk I was pretty sure that everyone else in the break room was clowning me

mods can ban Kaity the Volkswagen spammer in like an hour but we have to put up with this guy for days, I call bullshit

# Posts = 59
# Flagged Posts = 37

let's get this fucking over with people

I don't know where the button is for banning motherfuckers under 51 or I'd have used it already. I only re-enlisted to help with blocking and tackling spammer registrations, I really didn't expect this troll to come back in town my first week back on the job

Bring up an admin menu and "Ban this motherfucker already" is one of the options under each post.

Or go into admin mode or whatever.

also dear piece of shit lame troll on the east coast: please throw yourself into the ocean and use your phenomenally idiotic stubbornness for a good purposes, like resisting the urge to swim.

User has been permanently banned.
Return to Front Page

thx WilliamC, forgot to look for it there

ty tom

God's work.

let me the third to congratulate you explicitly, tombot (although I'm sure there are more than a dozen unvoiced thanks prior to mine)

i danced, which implied my thanks and should be enough

The person who taught me the word "pussies" built hospitals and schools and clubs and organizations to help people. What the fuck have you done?

― funzone76, Friday, June 22, 2018 1:07 AM (three days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

is this a dril tweet

― 21st savagery fox (m bison), Monday, June 25, 2018 8:39 PM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lmao

can we new board descrip that

ty tombot

I honestly couldn't suss out at any point what he was talking about, but he seemed quite convinced that no one on here could handle his truth bombs. Was there any discernable point?

to make us realize we never really got real situation or the finality of life never having brushed with death

I'm going to miss being incoherently talked at about how everyone but Larry is the problem.

Whoever that guy was reminded me of this drunken arse I used to hang around with, who when he got on the sauce would get more and more incomprehensible with rants about The Man and the real facts and etc etc and he'd get angry and say I just didnt GET IT, MAN and I was a CHESS PIECE and a RAT IN A MAZE and a SHEEPLE and then I would kick him out of my house.

and then you were like

check...mate

If you spend too much time talking about how everyone is out to get you it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

he went from williamsburg law student 'burt_stanton' to 'spectrum' to 'larry appleton' to 'carpet kaiser' to whatever this was. it's not good -- he's not a well dude. i hope he's ok irl. cause some of the personas suggest that he's not.

ilx cant handle his truth is the issue

Cop^

I wish he would've considered workshopping a different Nicholson catchphrase. 'Hold it between your knees' perhaps. That might have been fun.

The person who taught me the word "pussies" built hospitals and schools and clubs and organizations to help people. What the fuck have you done?

― funzone76, Friday, June 22, 2018 1:07 AM (three days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

is this a dril tweet

― 21st savagery fox (m bison), Tuesday, June 26, 2018 12:39 AM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

——-

I’m still laughing about this exquisite alley-oop

has it really only been since june

can we at least have some new material

I suspect that larry appleton (aka carpet_kaiser and whatever else. I forget all of them) has reappeared once more as dan_theman. what a treat!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHFkw-bR4dI

Enjoy this. Don't you want fun like this? That's what I bring you.

confirmed

I suspected this was Kozzen Larry last night, and the overnight fun confirms it. Banned.

Oh my god, I seriously almost wrote '...larry?' in response to one of his posts last night. Nice to see my deductive powers still function to some degree.

(Notably, this was when he had only written a handful of relatively innocuous posts, not the flood of very obvious appletonisms I'm waking up to this morning.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3xcybdis1k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEjJ6iTeH_I