Star Wars Anthology shit talk (Rogue One, Young Solo, TBD)

Rogue One had a tight direction and a well-structured plot, but the characters were paper-thin, so it was kinda hard to care about their fate. Solo is kinda the opposite, rounded characters and decent-to-excellent actors, but the plot was all over the place, with too many fanservice boxes to tick. Still liked it more than RO tho, cos it's not like any of these movies (except maybe The Last Jedi) can wow me with unexpected plot twists and idiosyncrasies, so good ensembles and nice character interplay is the best they can do.

while Solo did fine by blockbuster standards

Isn't it struggling to break even?

which would be a problem for anyone trying to play younger versions of the three major characters from the original series tbh

xp: According to boxofficemojo ATM, Solo has grossed $343 million worldwide. Given a reported $250-300 million production budget, it has some ways to go before breakeven. Rule of thumb is twice the production budget. This doesn't figure the cost for the IP, $4 billion in 2012.

i loved Rogue One. the characters were all pretty interesting and distinct, i had no problem caring about them at the end. the intro with Jynn & her parents was brilliant. the ST films have been so bad about presenting the Empire as a personal threat you feel connected to through a lead character and this was a positive step in that direction.

another highlight was Chirrut Îmwe as a force user who doesn't say Jedi or Sith or balance the prophecy or any mumbo jumbo but actually presents and interesting and mysterious take on hackneyed material. the next movie they just photocopied Luke's Jedi journey from ESB & ROTJ and everyone sat back and said it was bold, unexpected filmmaking.

adam

Did Rey lose a hand? No, so.

one of the main complaints about TLJ was that it wasn't enough like ESB, Luke was depressed and didn't really train her. fans on the whole might've been more happy if it was like TFA which true enough was a carbon copy of Episode IV

the force shit in rogue one was among the most embarrassing things about it iirc

hah did Rey lose a hand. if you tweak one thing in a wholly lifted plot it is brave and bold. it was a carbon copy of ESB and ROTJ as much as TFA was a carbon copy of ANH. Luke is Yoda/Obi Wan. he is the hermit who does not fight (Yoda "Wars not make one great") and trains Rey, the young and anxious Jedi apprentice. she is the Luke here. she goes to an isolated place to learn from a non-warrior who is secretly a warrior. she goes to a hole in a tree just like Luke did. she learns to lift rocks just like Luke did. she leaves with the training unfinished like Luke did. yes her hand did not get cut off. apparently making one change while doing everything else the same is bold and new. but then she does ROTJ. she shows up in handcuffs to the enemy base like Luke in ROTJ. she ends up in a three way conversation like Luke in ROTJ. she fights against both bad guys and sees the one she is connected to kill his master like Luke in ROTJ. because this happens in the 2nd film and not the 3rd film people think this is stunning and new and brilliant. it is not. it is the same plot just shifted one film over.

similarly most of the things Luke does are based on Yoda/Obi Wan in ANH/ESB. Yoda is introduced laughing at the idea of a warrior and saying "Wars not make one great" the unwilling teacher, Luke does that here. Obi Wan force projects onto two different planets in ESB and Luke does that. Obi Wan lies to his apprentice in ESB and Luke does that. Obi Wan dies in a sacrificial last stand to a Jedi-Sith lighstaber battle on the other side of a slowly closing door and Luke does that.

them smashing a star destroyer into another one has already been done in 2 or 3 other Star Wars films. people kept saying the lightspeed ramming thing was brilliant and never before done. lol ok

is being a force ghost the same as force projecting

ofc

they smashed a spaceship into another spaceship FASTER THAN ANYONE HAS BEFORE

genius

Obi Wan sends his force projection across Hoth and Dagoba in ESB

i get it now, you're trolling

TLJ is the most interesting movie in the series since ESB

I think the Finn/Rose side story lost a little momentum but was their Cloud City moment. Could have used a shock “Vader’s coming to dinner” moment

imo the best anthology work right now is two of the comics telling pieces of the same story

Best Star Wars fan theory that is both dumb and great: Luke didn’t die, he just felt really homesick after seeing the dual sunset and he force teleported home to Tatooine

I like it. Everyone knows that the whole point of the sunset scene in A New Hope is that he loves being on Tatooine.

for some reason Luke can only truly come out of exile by passing through Tatooine

lmao jmm

Adam, reading your posts about TLJ, I finally understand the trauma that the ending of Lost wreaked upon me and, more importantly, the trauma I've wreaked upon friends and loved ones any time the show has been evoked in conversation. I apologize profusely to everyone affected, and, Adam, I hope that you are also able to find peace within you one day and forgive Rian Johnson for his crimes against humanity. Namaste.

That Wee Robot That Cuts About the Death Star: A Star Wars Story
That Wean Anakin Murders Wae a Lightsaber: A Star Wars Story
That Arsepiece That Runs a 1950s Diner: A Star Wars Story
That Shite R2 Unit That Uncle Owen Didnae Buy: A Star Wars Story
Yer Da: A Star Wars Story

— Andy Kelly (@ultrabrilliant) June 21, 2018

Best Star Wars fan theory that is both dumb and great: Luke didn’t die, he just felt really homesick after seeing the dual sunset and he force teleported home to Tatooine

Also before dying Snoke actually found a way to use the cloning technology to clone himself as a younger unravaged specimen and it turns out he looks EXACTLY like Paul Bettany.

You guys are going to turn me to the Shakey Mo side pretty soon

All of the new characters are clones of characters from the original trilogy, iirc. Except BB-8, which is just Yaddle running around in a robotic hamster ball.

infinite snokes

https://slate.com/culture/2018/06/star-wars-fans-campaign-to-remake-the-last-jedi-explained.html

Who’s behind the remake effort?

An individual or a group that’s channeling the imagination-capturing heroism of Luke, Leia, Han, Rey, and Finn by … staying anonymous.

What do they want?

Another version of The Last Jedi—one that, according to the campaign’s Twitter account, isn’t “juvenile,” “unconscionable,” or “blasphemy.” The remaker(s) don’t have a storyline or even a protagonist in mind—they’re just certain that their fantasy version will be better than the movie that already exists. Per their plan, the remakers “will be consulting with Star Wars fans directly throughout the writing of the remake … to make a version of TLJ that is as close to universally accepted as possible.” They do acknowledge the impossibility of pleasing everyone, so they might have to prepare for a potential Remake the Remake of The Last Jedi campaign, and the Remake the Remake of the Remake of The Last Jedi campaign, and so on. Because that’s how fandom works!

As someone who loves to watch bad films I'm really hoping this happens on some level.

all the best stories are made by committee, what could possibly go wrong

lol wow. should be on Star Wars 8 shit talk but yeah that's hilarious

First trailer for the anime-styled "Star Wars: Resistance" coming in October.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bH_Ws7sA468

Lovely looking animation.

Tried watching SOLO, gave up around 40mins in. Really uninspired meat & potatoes stuff. Cunning to cast a lead actor who doesn't look, sound or move like Harrison Ford, and to completely waste Thandie Newton. Felt like a big-budget fan film. It's possible Phoebe Waller-Bridge saves this thing further in, but I doubt it.

it is a mystery!

It's possible Phoebe Waller-Bridge saves this thing

allow me to reassure you: she does not

this movie rules fuiud

It was dire. Every plot beat and laboured callback telegraphed miles in advance, charmless leads (stop trying to make Emilia Clarke happen), and it felt about five hours long

https://www.starwars.com/news/the-mandalorian-revealed

Production on the first Star Wars live-action streaming series has begun! After the stories of Jango and Boba Fett, another warrior emerges in the Star Wars universe. The Mandalorian is set after the fall of the Empire and before the emergence of the First Order. We follow the travails of a lone gunfighter in the outer reaches of the galaxy far from the authority of the New Republic. The series will be written and executive produced by Emmy-nominated producer and actor Jon Favreau, as previously announced, with Dave Filoni (Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Star Wars Rebels) directing the first episode. Additional episodic directors include Deborah Chow (Jessica Jones), Rick Famuyiwa (Dope), Bryce Dallas Howard (Solemates), and Taika Waititi (Thor: Ragnarok). It will be executive produced by Jon Favreau, Dave Filoni, Kathleen Kennedy, and Colin Wilson. Karen Gilchrist will serve as co-executive producer. Stay tuned to StarWars.com for updates.

https://starwarsblog.starwars.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/the-mandalorian-1024x809.jpg

the first TV series based entirely on a cool helmet design

Is this going to be like a Boba Fett improv show filmed at Disney World?

“We can’t justify an entire Fett movie after the Solo failure, team.”
“But the helmet is SO COOL.”
“I know, let’s do a TV series just about the helmet. Pretend it was never meant to be about Bobba.”

I wish they hadn’t desaturates the hell out of Solo.

Wothisface might have been dressed like Harrison Ford and tutored on some of his mannerisms but he’s got approximately 0% of his charm.

It’s an ok Star Wars universe caper movie though. I enjoyed it. Just didn’t think it was amazing.

I feel like the way to do a Boba spin-off is to tell it mainly from the point of view of a group of people being hunted, who are ostensibly the protagonists although we're really watching to see them get disintegrated. Just like how the killer is the real star in slasher movies. Play up the mystery and fearsomeness of the relentless pursuer.

So basically another Predator sequel

They have never addressed the pred ship visible in the Battle of Endor

i've come around to thinking SOLO would have been a pleasantly forgettable, occasionally incompetent, B minus/C plus level space adventure set in the star wars universeb if ehrenreich's character had just been designated as some previously unheard-of nobody. "San Holo," say. so maybe a more generic kind of TV show, just slightly further away from the established characters, is actually the right way to go.

problem is so much of that movie is (sold on) callbacks. Lando! Chewie! Kessel Run!

a more generic kind of TV show, just slightly further away from the established characters, is actually the right way to go.

This was the best aspect of Clone Wars and Rebels (and hey, Rogue One) so yes, it is definitely the right way to go.

Also the mandalorian character is the coolest one on Rebels

Unfortunately whenever a plot starts veering into mandalore’s culture and politics I tend to tune out so hopefully they avoid that nonsense