Star Wars Anthology shit talk (Rogue One, Young Solo, TBD)

they need a movie to show how he went from darth, to just maul, and now to.. don maul

somehow he’s tracked down that guy with the schnozz and wings from Episode I to be his consigliere

i look forward to the spinoff movie explaining how watto got his sad-sack hat in between eps 1 and 2

Darth Maul origin film planned for 2024. How’d he get those horns anyway?

Also wtf at wicket the fucking Ewok???

Apparently he played the same character he cameo'd as in the prequels. I was happy to see him! He was in Last Jedi also

all zabrak have those horns

because you watched it with children?

entirely possible

I enjoyed it...and I hate kids (jk).

At the screening I saw some bloke wandered down the aisle in full Darth Maul costume waving a lightsaber glowering at people - v cringeworthy.

Be awesome of his name wasn't so on the nose, like it was Darth Sunray or something.

Darth Happypants

Darth Bigboutee

Darth Smallberries

Donnie Dartho

Jennie Darth

Darth Home and Hearth

this movie was... long

i recommend you all see Alden Ehrenreich in the lead of a different movie, ie Warren Beatty's Rules Don't Apply.

i find his giant hexagonal face irritating

yes

lol

It's depressing and creepy to think of Darth Maul guy doing that on his own (assuming he wasn't paid to be there)

:(

you think that's wild, a friend-of-a-friend built a r2d2 replica that has all the lights, noises, and is controlled by remote

recently learned that he brings it out to the local cinema on SW opening days and they give him... a pair of tickets?

^^^^^From the number of conventions and midnight openings I've gone to, I can tell you that kids LOVE that shit. It's probably reward enough to see the kids go nuts over a real R2-D2.

when the head of the pirates took off her helmet, I first wondered if she was supposed to be the long-lost daughter of Harrelson and Newton's characters but I may have been the only one

I can confirm you were not.

I am always amused that Star Wars films are the ones that cause the otherwise excellent Doctor Casino to swallow his tongue.

another interesting choice, i thought, was to make endless hay out of han's desire to fly and skill at flying but never show any of his early flying experience, and then when he's on board the falcon, to depict it as if he's never been on a spaceship before.

This is.. not what happens though? They take pains to point out that he knows the ships inside out, and when he gets to pilot it for the first time, he seems completely at home.

(I know this is not a DC complaint, but the idea that there are people thinking "yeah, how do we know that this *squints* Han Solo is actually a good pilot" is odd - there are no such people)

we've been watching this is-she-good-or-bad-and-why-is-she-holding-back-from-han story the whole movie, and the resolution of it is.... she's working for a hologram of a guy who's never been mentioned before

Dude every time we see Paul Bettany, he takes pains to mention that he's not at the top of his chain, that there's someone that he works for. When she decides to seal Han's getaway / move up the ladder, of course that's someone that we'll see.

and i was like wait is that darth maul or like his kid? could it be darth maul? isn't he dead? could this take place before the phantom menace? no wait of course it couldn't because we already have the empire.

Okay I admit this was confusing, but submit that it was also awesome. Also I'm curious as to how many kids seeing this will be filling their parents in on what happened after the Phantom Menace.

are you kidding about the piloting? he gets the longest fucking wonder-music swell and slow camera turn when they go into hyperspace. wowie zowie! i can't believe i'm in a real live spaceship! wait, how did he get to the planet where he was an infantryman again? well anyway. not showing any of his empire flying is more of a problem for other aspects of the story - we rush right past the years in which he was pining for kira! you can chuckle at "show don't tell" but it's a real thing: him saying "gosh i missed you and thought of you all the time" doesn't carry the same weight as even like a stock montage of him in training, on missions, flying through the stars but still looking sad and determined, her photo on the dashboard, blah blah blah.... this movie was super famously a patched-together job with a still-ambiguous ratio of stuff shot by directors 1 and director 2. i am unsurprised it was a tonally inconsistent mess with confusing plot threads slammed into each other and the duct tape peeling away from the seams. is that such a weird takeaway?

if you enjoyed it that's cool! i probably won't convince you it was a mess and vice versa. fwiw i really enjoyed most of episodes 7 and 8, though i had gripes with each. saw 8 in the theater twice just cause there were certain parts I couldn't stop thinking about. i've made a point of giving ROTJ a thumbs-up while acknowledging its flaws. so really i just have problems with the five prequels.

Of all the characters to re enlist, why DM

Um is it "omg I am in spaceship" or "omg I am in love with this spaceship"? I read it as the latter.

i take it the clint howard cameo was not part of lord and miller’s material btw

Oh xpost I just always worry about kids finding (ie.) Darth Maul scary. Probably no kids that young go to Star Wars these days

according to the dialogue in the very same scene he has been on many such spaceships before. it is a badly-written and inconsistent script.

I'm not here to stan for the film as the best ever - in an ideal world there would be one or two of these per year and some of them would be heist films with treachery and double-crosses - there were a few Jim Woodring Star Wars comics a few decades ago that would serve as excellent reference points.

As a side-effect, I admit that the bits of this that had to do with it being a Han Solo film were not the best. It's the reason that it's so damn long: Han's main motivation - meeting the gang - the first heist - a new proposition - meeting the spacecraft - a second heist - the Kessel Run* - a chance for redemption - some double-crosses - Han shoots first. You can't cut any of that out of this film, but it wouldn't have to be in a more generic film.

There is the problem that a more generic film wouldn't be the 9th most expensive of all time.

My girlfriend was thinking that they didn't do enough to really sell the Chewie-Han relationship, but I've always got the impression that while the Wookies are a proud, noble, race Chewbacca is the Han of Wookies, always up for a bad idea provided he can bitch about it with Han afterwards. Han fucking up the plan by giving him the weapon would have gone a long way with him (NB I am aware this is nigh on fanfic at this point.

I think that Alden Eirenreich did okay, but a) no-one is Ford in his prime and b)

Dave Franco, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Miles Teller, Nick Robinson, Leo Howard, Tony Oller, Chandler Riggs, Hunter Parrish, Rami Malek, Landon Liboiron, Ed Westwick, Tom Felton, Joshua Sasse, Logan Lerman, Ansel Elgort, Jack Reynor, Colton Haynes, Max Thieriot, Scott Eastwood, Chris Pratt, Emory Cohen, Alden Ehrenreich, Taron Egerton, Jack O'Connell and Blake Jenner had screen tested for the young Han Solo. Teller, Elgort, Franco, Reynor, Eastwood, Lerman, Cohen, Ehrenreich, Egerton, O'Connell and Jenner were among the ones who made the cut for the role.

* okay okay I did love the parsec explanation.

no-one is Ford in his prime

allspark entenmann

LOL

Didn't see this, but heard it's weird that so many people put their life or the lives of others at risk for the sake of optional adventures. Is that accurate? Like, it's one thing to risk death to stop the empire, it's another to steal some widget.

actually the thing that bugged me most about this was han being a former imperial grunt and thus presumably spending his three years of service - at the very least - standing idly by while his squadmates roast the babies of the oppressed in the town square, which seems a bit too far along the ‘rogue’ side of the ‘loveable rogue’ spectrum for my conception of the character

Kinda like Finn the Rebellion/Resistance ( or being somewhat associated with them) washes away all sins.

I thought Finn was a janitor.

He killed the trash compactor snake thing's kids :(

if you enjoyed it that's cool! i probably won't convince you it was a mess and vice versa. fwiw i really enjoyed most of episodes 7 and 8, though i had gripes with each. saw 8 in the theater twice just cause there were certain parts I couldn't stop thinking about. i've made a point of giving ROTJ a thumbs-up while acknowledging its flaws. so really i just have problems with the five prequels.

Yeah no, I only meant the recent ones as those are the ones that I've seen your thoughts on in real time, it's not a big deal it just stands out because I generally think you're OTM on other movie stuff. Er, that said "swallow your tongue" was both rude and ill-judged, sorry about that.

I don't know that the montage would do so much though - it goes straight from him freaking out to signing up because he has to get back to Correlia to glomming on to Becket because he has to get back to Correlia - the external impetus remains front and center (and he blurts out the internal one pretty quickly too).

Alex in SF OTM about his first time in space in the Falcon, for all the talk about L3, the real human-mechanical love story here is Han and the Falcon*, the score bursts into the Star Wars theme the first time he sees her.

I could definitely have done without the fan-service at the end, both seeing them winning the spaceship and the "there's a crime boss on *audience groans* Tatooine" - apart from anything else there's nothing else to do now, if it wasn't for the timing of the proto-proto-Rebellion, there's no reason that Episode IV couldn't be the next week.

The flip side of that is that I would totally watch a sequel which was this without the character-building. I don't know that it would have Qi'ra in it though, that sounds like it's up there with Simon thinking DJ will return in Episode IX.

* though the bit in the second gambling scene where he claims that she's meant for him or whatever is even weirder in the context that some of L3 is now literally part of the ship.

a stock montage of him in training, on missions, flying through the stars but still looking sad and determined, her photo on the dashboard, blah blah blah

We do know from ep 7 that someone who has,lived all their lives in a desert and never flown before can pilot the Falcon, for what that's worth.

she was a parts geek though, that probably helped? tbf this is a recurrent sci-fi trope, that someone settles into an alien/new spaceship and just somehow knows which switches to flip.

she’s only the third jedi in the series that sand planet, never piloted spaceship, etc

the handy with parts stuff is a holdover from George’s “kid who is born to work on and race cars” character he’s always into

Ok, this movie was great. I'm surprised takes are so mixed, I had a blast. I really like the idea of a fun SW film, and this delivered. Only complaint was the muted color palette, this needed to be a colorful film. Loved the uprising sequence and felt relief that they finally broached the topic of whether a human can make sweet love with a droud.

there have been some complaints about theaters projecting too dark or being cheap and not making sure their projectors are maintained. muted colors overall but the lighting was really dynamic where I saw it!

having the entire vibe be the shadowy cantina scene where you’re not sure who is drawing their blaster followed by outside chases was good

t's depressing and creepy to think of Darth Maul guy doing that on his own (assuming he wasn't paid to be there)

haha at first i thought this post was talking about the character, hoping that the crime syndicate was paying him...

"i think we'll be working VERY CLOSELY TOGETHER in the FUTURE........"

"well maybe"

"aw please? i got nothing to do around here lately"